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Old Sep 21st 2017, 1:41 pm   #1
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Default Urgent advice - I want to leave my husband

Hi,

I've been married with my husband for 2 years with several years of relationship (before getting married). Unfortunately our marriage is not working. He is being emotionally abused and I feel I can not stay with him any longer.

My husband has mentioned several times in our arguments that he wants to get the divorce. We have a baby of 6 months old and I want to return to UK with my baby. I am scared that my husband can take my baby from me. My husband is not an easy person to talk to and he wont accept my decision. I would like to know if I decided to go to UK and stay there I wont have any problem legally? My husband is the sponsor of my visa and my baby's visa.

My husband is British so do I. If I want to travel to UK with my baby and I am not travelling with my husband - Am I allow to do this? does the law in UK protect me in case my husband wants the paternity of my baby? Any advise will be much appreciated

Many thanks
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Old Sep 21st 2017, 5:58 pm   #2
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Default Re: Urgent advice - I want to leave my husband

You may need his permission to take your child out of the country ? Where are you now ?
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Old Sep 22nd 2017, 5:38 am   #3
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Default Re: Urgent advice - I want to leave my husband

Congratulations on making the first steps towards a happier life. You've really done the hardest part.

Assuming you're in the UAE you can leave at any time and deal with the consequences within a country where you have a better balance of power. I have no idea is the UK will "protect you" you really need advice from CAB.

Good luck. The journey ahead isn't easy but remember the following: 1) never look back, 2) don't make any decisions based on fear, 3) protect the kid's interests at all times, 4) don't rush any decision.

The last one is very important. A six month old baby is a very stressful time in a relationship and how you feel and what is actually happening may be at contrast with each other.

Last edited by Millhouse; Sep 22nd 2017 at 5:42 am.
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Old Sep 22nd 2017, 8:57 am   #4
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Default Re: Urgent advice - I want to leave my husband

I assume you are a British citizen? If so does your baby have a British passport? The biggest problem is that you will need your husbands permission to remove the child from where you are now, or a court order giving permission to remove. Even if you got divorced, unless you were all in the UK you would still need his permission to bring the child back to UK permanently.It is a little confusing as you say you are British , then say your husband is the sponsor of your visa. Is this a visa for where you now live, or a UK spouse visa?
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Old Sep 22nd 2017, 9:13 am   #5
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Default Re: Urgent advice - I want to leave my husband

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Originally Posted by quiltman View Post
I assume you are a British citizen? If so does your baby have a British passport? The biggest problem is that you will need your husbands permission to remove the child from where you are now, or a court order giving permission to remove. Even if you got divorced, unless you were all in the UK you would still need his permission to bring the child back to UK permanently.It is a little confusing as you say you are British , then say your husband is the sponsor of your visa. Is this a visa for where you now live, or a UK spouse visa?
Valid point. And taking the baby to the UK without permission or correct advice could well go against you in the future.
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Old Sep 22nd 2017, 11:49 am   #6
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Default Re: Urgent advice - I want to leave my husband

I don't live in the UAE so I can't comment on that aspect, but at the same time, my wife has left Saudi with the kids without me numerous times, and never been questioned once about her plans or intentions.

If you can get to the UK, I would try to do everything there and worry about the rest later.
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Old Sep 22nd 2017, 1:33 pm   #7
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Default Re: Urgent advice - I want to leave my husband

I am in the UAE. I can fly from Dubai or Abu Dhabi.
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Old Sep 22nd 2017, 1:35 pm   #8
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Default Re: Urgent advice - I want to leave my husband

Is the country where you live now even a signatory to the Hague Convention that defines and restricts child abduction? - Many countries in the Middle East are not.

Whether you can board a plane with your child may be a crap shoot, and as advised above removing the child may have unpredictable consequences. But if the country where you live is not a signatory to the Hague convention and you can get your child back to the UK, I would try to do that if at all possible. .... My tip would be to fly on a return ticket as it is much less likely to be noticed by the airline that you might be fleeing the country.
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Old Sep 22nd 2017, 1:39 pm   #9
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Default Re: Urgent advice - I want to leave my husband

Quote:
Originally Posted by quiltman View Post
I assume you are a British citizen? If so does your baby have a British passport? The biggest problem is that you will need your husbands permission to remove the child from where you are now, or a court order giving permission to remove. Even if you got divorced, unless you were all in the UK you would still need his permission to bring the child back to UK permanently.It is a little confusing as you say you are British , then say your husband is the sponsor of your visa. Is this a visa for where you now live, or a UK spouse visa?
Yes I am British (by naturalizatiion). My baby was born in the UAE and we applied for the British passport from here. My husband sponsor my visa to stay in the UAE as I am housewife. So if I want to fly to UK and stay there with my baby do you know if I can? who can advise on this? thank you
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Old Sep 22nd 2017, 2:54 pm   #10
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Default Re: Urgent advice - I want to leave my husband

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Originally Posted by sunflower50 View Post
I am in the UAE. I can fly from Dubai or Abu Dhabi.
Yeah I got that, but the point I was trying to make was that, if my wife was able to go away with the kids in a country like Saudi (with all its stupid rules regarding exit visas etc) with no problems, I would have thought there would be even less possible issues in the UAE. Women must go away with the kids during long summer holidays all the time.

like the previous poster says, if it worries you, avoid suspicion and get a return ticket.
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Old Sep 22nd 2017, 5:52 pm   #11
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Default Re: Urgent advice - I want to leave my husband

Quote:
Originally Posted by sunflower50 View Post
Yes I am British (by naturalizatiion). My baby was born in the UAE and we applied for the British passport from here. My husband sponsor my visa to stay in the UAE as I am housewife. So if I want to fly to UK and stay there with my baby do you know if I can? who can advise on this? thank you
Best seek professional, expert advice on this matter. As your are "British by descent", your baby isn't automatically entitled to become a British national.

This article is worth a read.

You could also post your query here.
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Old Sep 22nd 2017, 7:22 pm   #12
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Default Re: Urgent advice - I want to leave my husband

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Best seek professional, expert advice on this matter. As your are "British by descent", your baby isn't automatically entitled to become a British national. ....
That is incorrect, the OP says she is "British by naturalization" which means she is "British other than by descent" (wording used in the relevant law), and so in relation to passing on British citizenship she is in the same position as someone who was born British in the UK - "British other than by descent", and automatically passes on British citizenship to her children no matter where in the world they are born.
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Old Sep 23rd 2017, 4:06 am   #13
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Default Re: Urgent advice - I want to leave my husband

At the end of the day if you can get back to the UK any ensuing legal case will be heard a lot more sympathetically towards you than if you were here, personally I would leave for the UK and take it from there, especially if you have relatives or some sort of support system there.
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Old Sep 23rd 2017, 3:09 pm   #14
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Default Re: Urgent advice - I want to leave my husband

I am not sure just leaving with his baby is the best way to go about this.

Custody is usually 50/50 nowadays in the UK unless it can be proven one party is abusive or a very bad influence. You should first seek legal advice in the UK and here before you do anything - taking a child could be seen as kidnapping and will certainly not make your husband want to deal with you calmly in a divorce.

Whether your husband is emotionally abusive or not is not a matter for the members of this board to decide.

SEEK LEGAL ADVICE.

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Old Sep 23rd 2017, 3:59 pm   #15
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Default Re: Urgent advice - I want to leave my husband

There is a lot of information (which covers laws in individual Islamic countries) which you may find very useful in the "parents" section at;

Reunite International

It is a British charity, supported by the Ministry of Justice which covers the issues of children being taken across international borders and child abduction. There is a mediation service and a confidential helpline.

Whatever you do, clear your cookies (history) on your laptop/tablet, in case your husband checks it.

You say your husband is British; is he on an expat contract in the UAE or is he a dual national with citizenship or permanent residency of the country where you are currently resident?

Where is your "home" country and where do your parents/siblings live? If you leave the UAE it would be best to be near your (hopefully supportive) family.

All the best to you.

PS; it sounds like your spouse is controlling. Please note down in a safe place all incidents of abusive behaviour, whether emotional/verbal or physical (and take photos of bruises if necessary).
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