Big.Ted.Bear

Hi,
I found this site via Google, and started reading some of the forums to try and become familiar with what to expect.

I am one of those romantic fools who has met somebody online (a USC), while I'm a UKC for want of a better term.
We have been chatting / videochatting for 4 months and have grown as close as we can via that particular medium, and I have now arranged to meet her in the US which is happening in the next couple of weeks, a romantic Christmas together.

I was just wondering, if we hit it off and fall even deeper in love, such that I want to be with this lady, how do I go about getting to migrate to the US?

She is a fair bit younger than me, still living at home with her mum and step-dad (quite a volatile relationship by all accounts), she has a part time c.18-25 hour a week job, no savings and is desperate to leave home, but isn't brave enough to take the step of coming here.

I used to be a Project Manager in I.T., earning a fantastic wage, but when the Banks got greedy and blew all the cash, I was "too expensive" to retain and was let go. At the same time I found out that my then wife had been having an affair, and I initiated divorce proceedings, now happily divorced!!

However, between my marriage failing and losing my dream career I hit rock bottom. I never entered into alcoholism or other substances, but lost the will, drive and ambition to lead a successful life. The divorce settlement meant that I made sure my kids (now 22 and 17) had the proceeds of her downsizing the house and basically signed everything over to them leaving me saddled with joint debts and little opportunity. I entered into, and successfully completed an IVA, between 2009 and 2014, and now have a steady job as a Retail Manager living in rented accommodation, but as for savings, I don't have a pot to you know what in.

Meeting my girlfriend has given me a new lease of life and brought back the fire and ambition I had lost, and to be quite honest, I would go and live with her in a heart beat.

So... we are meeting on 19th December and I am staying 2 weeks as a holiday in a hotel, hoping that if our relationship is going places then I can get some advice as to how to proceed with migrating to be with her.

It's too soon to say whether marriage or fiancée visa will be the route, but if we decide one of those options will give us a future together I would love to know how to go about it.

Here's the crunch though, her parents have decided to move and have made it clear that they don't intend to take her with them (quite honestly, being a parent I cannot fathom that one out, but it's true as I've been comforting her recently), so not only are we dealing with how I get over there permanently, but what course of action she can take to ensure she still has a roof over her head.

She almost got to the point of agreeing to try and come here, but I can tell she is anxious about that upheaval, and as my ties are only with my kids, who have both told me to "go for it", that's what I'm trying to do.

Any thoughts or advice would be so welcome.

Thanks for reading

christmasoompa

Hi, and welcome to BE.

I've moved your thread to our US marriage based visa forum, where the good folks there will be able to answer your questions.

Best of luck.

SanDiegogirl

Without going into all the 'emotional issues" here:

If you marry and then wish to live in the US, she has to sponsor you. That means earning around 20K at year. Does she? If not she would need to find a joint sponsor - (does not sound as though her parents would be good to do this)

If you marry and then wish to live in the UK, YOU have to sponsor her. For that you need to be earning 18,600 GBP or above. Do you? If not then you would need savings etc to make up shortfall.

How old is young woman? You sound as though you are in your 40's?

Big.Ted.Bear

Thank you... yes I'm 42 and she's 26 (27 on 22nd Dec, another reason for going to visit).

I earn more than £18,600 so that's not a problem but she wants to live in the US if possible.

I was led to believe that on a marriage visa, I would be able to work - would that not offset the need for a sponsor?

Nutmegger

If you marry and then remain/return to the UK and apply for the spouse visa, you will be able to work upon arrival with your visa. However, your wife must still be your sponsor. Is there a reason why she only works part time? She would surely be in a better financial position if she had a full time job. In all honesty, if she is 26 I’m not surprised her folks are ready for her to leave the nest.

tom169

If things with the GF progress it's a relatively trivial process to getting a visa.

Do you have a clean record?

You will need a financial sponsor. Your (then) wife will be one, but that can be supplemented by any other US citizen or Legal Permanent Resident.

I also don't blame the parents for kicking her out.

KK85

It sounds like your options, when it come to moving to the US, are either the CR-1 or K-1 visa - both of these would involve marriage to your USC girlfriend (CR-1 = married prior to emigrating; K-1 equals emigrating then marrying). There are many technicalities that come with both of these visas, and I/anyone else here would be glad to discuss those with you if they become relevant, but perhaps the first step is to meet this lady. See how you get on. See if, once the butterflies and excitement settle down (which I do understand wholly - I met my husband online, and moved here on a CR-1 visa) you'd still up and move 'in a heartbeat', as you say. And maybe, after that, it's time to start thinking about marriage and the subsequent upheaval of your life.

It sounds like you've been through a lot, and I sympathise with the desire to jump at this exciting opportunity in front of you. But meet the lady before you start looking too far ahead, especially when it comes to another marriage. Hopefully your relationship will translate beautifully into the real-life, and we can guide you through the immigration process when you come back and tell us how beautiful your Christmas together was!

Good luck and enjoy!

Big.Ted.Bear

Thank you KK.

Yes the fluttering stomach syndrome kicked in a while ago, and this is why we are meeting.
Online is one thing, but 24/7 even for a few days will tell us both so much about each other and our feelings.
She has been diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome, which I am familiar with as my son also suffers from this, though with him it was detected at a very early age so learning the coping techniques were a part of his school life.
One of the many reasons I don't want to rush into something, but have all the bases covered if indeed something is eventually to come of the relationship.

My immediate worry is not the visa or bureaucracy, but if indeed we do hit it off "face to face", her parents may be moving as soon as April or May, so in the short term to bring her here and longer term plan for us both to live in the States.

I'm just looking for as much advice / information as possible to have the lengthy discussions with her so we can reach an informed decision.

Isn't life complicated? Lol

Noorah101

She can visit the UK for up to 6 months without a visa. But not having any ties to the USA (job, home) works against her.

In the longer run, for moving to the USA, it's either the CR-1 spouse visa or the K-1 fiance visa for you.

Rene

KK85

I can't speak for the timescale if/when it ever came to her moving to the UK, but I do know that whichever route you go down, when it comes to a permanent move, nothing will be finalised before April, unfortunately. If you plan on moving to the States, you should know that both the CR-1 and K-1 visa process take an average of 8-10 months (though take that timescale with a grain of salt - my CR-1 process took 13 months; some take far shorter), and if she is going to come to the UK as an immigrant, you're also talking months of paperwork, not to mention wedding planning and whatnot. It seems as though she ought to be thinking of a short-term plan when it comes to accommodation, unless indeed she does what Rene suggests above, and comes to the UK for an extended visit. But then you have the issue of her having nowhere to go back to.

Perhaps it's in both of your best interests to meet, first of all, and if things go well, sit down and discuss where she's going to live in America. She needs a base, as we all do. Hopefully she has a friend or another family member who will be supportive? And once you've got that box ticked, you can then discuss your longer-term plans, such as where it makes most sense to live. From a financial perspective, it seems to make more sense for her to come to the UK, but it sounds as though that's not her preference.

This will all be surmountable! But one step at a time. Perhaps have a read of the Wiki on this forum to familiarise yourself with the most basic steps in the CR-1 and K-1 visa processes - this would be a good place to start: Comparison of marriage-based visas : British Expat Wiki There are also boards on this forum for people who are moving to the UK - I am not a regular on those, but I imagine they have plenty of regular, knowledgeable people and Wikis that you can read, too, to familiarise yourself on those processes in case your girlfriend changes her mind about moving to the UK. But like you said, the immediate worry is seeing if you work well face-to-face, and prioritising organising a base for your girlfriend in the US - I don't think it would do anybody any good if they started a new relationship, a complicated immigration process, a minor estrangement from their parents, AND being homeless all at once. Meet her, have a great time, get her secured and settled somewhere safe, and then think about the complications of immigration. (Though indeed, no harm in cluing yourself up a little in the meantime. Look at those Wikis!)

SanDiegogirl

As the OP has not even met the woman yet, I would suggest he does so and then, if he wants to take it further, come back to the forum with his questions.

SanDiegogirl

No..... there is no guarantee that you would find a job as soon as you enter the US, so the authorities want to make sure SHE can sponsor you and accommodate you while you look for work.

Rete

Marriage is not your only avenue to the US. You claim to have been an IT project manager. Why not reclaim your career and try to find a US company to sponsor you for a work visa or work for a company in the UK with US Offices and in a year or so ask to be transferred to the US.

She is 26, an adult, and although she has Asperger's, they are some of the smartest and most well read and intelligent people on the planet. While they might be socially inept, there is no reason why she can function well enough to hold down employment and live on her own without having someone paying her way.

Pulaski

Your situation has some similarities with mine, though I wasn't as old as you. But the then-future Mrs P lived with her parents too.

The way we worked it was that Mrs P came to the UK "temporarily", which turned out to be just under two years, then we relocated to the US when I had found a job to come to (Mrs P still had to be my sponsor, but we qualified on assets). Mrs P got to experience living in the UK, and took the opportunity to train for a new career, so was in a much better position to work in a well paid job when she returned to the US.

scrubbedexpat099

Meet first and see how it goes, with neither of you having any savings obviously nothing will be happening quickly, ned to remedy that immigration either way is not cheap.