Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Dec 1st 2003, 7:36 pm
#61
K1 via London
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Posts: 1,959
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Wow, I'm so sorry to hear that this had to happen to you!! 
About keeping the engagement ring: I have a friend who was engaged to a girl and then she ended the engagement and he wanted the ring back but she wouldn't give it back to him. They ended up being contacted by one of those court TV shows (I think perhaps Judge Judy?) where it was decided that the girl had to give the ring back due to the fact that she broke it off.
So I presume a good bit of it has to do with the fact of who broke the relationship up. In your case it would have obviously been your ex-fiance as he cheated on you. So I think you would probably have a better chance of keeping it based on what happened to my friend.
As far as the threatening is concerned: wow, that's scary! I have no idea how that works, especially if you weren't in the US when he threatened you, but I hope that you can do SOMETHING about it either way. Abusive people, grrrrr.
PS Oops, I just realized that I didn't pay attention to the fact that this was actually a 4 page thread so I skipped the inbetween pages. Sorry if I stated something that was already discussed!
About keeping the engagement ring: I have a friend who was engaged to a girl and then she ended the engagement and he wanted the ring back but she wouldn't give it back to him. They ended up being contacted by one of those court TV shows (I think perhaps Judge Judy?) where it was decided that the girl had to give the ring back due to the fact that she broke it off.
So I presume a good bit of it has to do with the fact of who broke the relationship up. In your case it would have obviously been your ex-fiance as he cheated on you. So I think you would probably have a better chance of keeping it based on what happened to my friend.
As far as the threatening is concerned: wow, that's scary! I have no idea how that works, especially if you weren't in the US when he threatened you, but I hope that you can do SOMETHING about it either way. Abusive people, grrrrr.
PS Oops, I just realized that I didn't pay attention to the fact that this was actually a 4 page thread so I skipped the inbetween pages. Sorry if I stated something that was already discussed!
Last edited by Steffi; Dec 1st 2003 at 7:40 pm.
Dec 1st 2003, 7:39 pm
#62
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 90
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Hey guys,
If you are interested here's what I wrote him last night at least it will get him off my back for a few weeks so this can cool down and i can decide what i will do:
Hey Mark,
I’ve realised after looking at your advertisement on www.adultfriendfinder.com that the real problem with our relationship was that I wanted to believe that you were actually a better person than this.
As I said all along – you are a great guy with things are going well for you but when they aren’t then you make self destructive choices, with no thought to the consequences for yourself or others. In all honesty I’m really worried about the track you’re taking at the moment....I just feel so sorry that I had to witness such a low point in your life.
As for the ring, which I’m sure is the only thing you’re really interested in right now, below is a heads up on California law regarding this issue;
The statute that governs is Civil Code 1590, and it requires return of the ring unless there is a court finding that you don't have to give it back:
"Where either party to a contemplated marriage in this State makes a gift of money or property to the other on the basis or assumption that the marriage will take place, in the event that the donee refuses to enter into the marriage as contemplated or that it is given up by mutual consent, the donor may recover such gift or such part of its value as may, under all of the circumstances of the case, be found by a court or jury to be just".
As you can imagine I never contemplated a marriage where one party was cheating or posting ads on sex sites....nor was the engagement called off by mutual consent. You breached the agreement by your actions since November 8th.
Aside from that the agreement to marry was offered and accepted in New Zealand and as such comes under our civil jurisdiction.....
I have informed the US consulate of your refusal to withdraw the petition and the grounds on which the relationship has dissolved and they assure me that you can not have me barred from the US for any future travel or visas and are now on notice to cancel the petition when it arrives here.
Mark, I am considering my options as to this situation but would like some time to think about this without emotions being involved. I am very disappointed that you were reduced to abuse and threats when you hadn’t given me any opportunity to actually comprehend what has happened and am disturbed that you have never once offered an apology or shown remorse for your actions.
I will contact you in a few weeks but am quite happy for any correspondence to go through your attorney if you advise me of the details.
Look after yourself
Kris
If you are interested here's what I wrote him last night at least it will get him off my back for a few weeks so this can cool down and i can decide what i will do:
Hey Mark,
I’ve realised after looking at your advertisement on www.adultfriendfinder.com that the real problem with our relationship was that I wanted to believe that you were actually a better person than this.
As I said all along – you are a great guy with things are going well for you but when they aren’t then you make self destructive choices, with no thought to the consequences for yourself or others. In all honesty I’m really worried about the track you’re taking at the moment....I just feel so sorry that I had to witness such a low point in your life.
As for the ring, which I’m sure is the only thing you’re really interested in right now, below is a heads up on California law regarding this issue;
The statute that governs is Civil Code 1590, and it requires return of the ring unless there is a court finding that you don't have to give it back:
"Where either party to a contemplated marriage in this State makes a gift of money or property to the other on the basis or assumption that the marriage will take place, in the event that the donee refuses to enter into the marriage as contemplated or that it is given up by mutual consent, the donor may recover such gift or such part of its value as may, under all of the circumstances of the case, be found by a court or jury to be just".
As you can imagine I never contemplated a marriage where one party was cheating or posting ads on sex sites....nor was the engagement called off by mutual consent. You breached the agreement by your actions since November 8th.
Aside from that the agreement to marry was offered and accepted in New Zealand and as such comes under our civil jurisdiction.....
I have informed the US consulate of your refusal to withdraw the petition and the grounds on which the relationship has dissolved and they assure me that you can not have me barred from the US for any future travel or visas and are now on notice to cancel the petition when it arrives here.
Mark, I am considering my options as to this situation but would like some time to think about this without emotions being involved. I am very disappointed that you were reduced to abuse and threats when you hadn’t given me any opportunity to actually comprehend what has happened and am disturbed that you have never once offered an apology or shown remorse for your actions.
I will contact you in a few weeks but am quite happy for any correspondence to go through your attorney if you advise me of the details.
Look after yourself
Kris
Dec 1st 2003, 7:43 pm
#63
WTF?
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Homeostasis
Posts: 79,367
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
You go girl!!!! 
Originally posted by krissyv
Hey guys,
If you are interested here's what I wrote him last night at least it will get him off my back for a few weeks so this can cool down and i can decide what i will do:
Hey Mark,
I’ve realised after looking at your advertisement on www.adultfriendfinder.com that the real problem with our relationship was that I wanted to believe that you were actually a better person than this.
As I said all along – you are a great guy with things are going well for you but when they aren’t then you make self destructive choices, with no thought to the consequences for yourself or others. In all honesty I’m really worried about the track you’re taking at the moment....I just feel so sorry that I had to witness such a low point in your life.
As for the ring, which I’m sure is the only thing you’re really interested in right now, below is a heads up on California law regarding this issue;
The statute that governs is Civil Code 1590, and it requires return of the ring unless there is a court finding that you don't have to give it back:
"Where either party to a contemplated marriage in this State makes a gift of money or property to the other on the basis or assumption that the marriage will take place, in the event that the donee refuses to enter into the marriage as contemplated or that it is given up by mutual consent, the donor may recover such gift or such part of its value as may, under all of the circumstances of the case, be found by a court or jury to be just".
As you can imagine I never contemplated a marriage where one party was cheating or posting ads on sex sites....nor was the engagement called off by mutual consent. You breached the agreement by your actions since November 8th.
Aside from that the agreement to marry was offered and accepted in New Zealand and as such comes under our civil jurisdiction.....
I have informed the US consulate of your refusal to withdraw the petition and the grounds on which the relationship has dissolved and they assure me that you can not have me barred from the US for any future travel or visas and are now on notice to cancel the petition when it arrives here.
Mark, I am considering my options as to this situation but would like some time to think about this without emotions being involved. I am very disappointed that you were reduced to abuse and threats when you hadn’t given me any opportunity to actually comprehend what has happened and am disturbed that you have never once offered an apology or shown remorse for your actions.
I will contact you in a few weeks but am quite happy for any correspondence to go through your attorney if you advise me of the details.
Look after yourself
Kris
Hey guys,
If you are interested here's what I wrote him last night at least it will get him off my back for a few weeks so this can cool down and i can decide what i will do:
Hey Mark,
I’ve realised after looking at your advertisement on www.adultfriendfinder.com that the real problem with our relationship was that I wanted to believe that you were actually a better person than this.
As I said all along – you are a great guy with things are going well for you but when they aren’t then you make self destructive choices, with no thought to the consequences for yourself or others. In all honesty I’m really worried about the track you’re taking at the moment....I just feel so sorry that I had to witness such a low point in your life.
As for the ring, which I’m sure is the only thing you’re really interested in right now, below is a heads up on California law regarding this issue;
The statute that governs is Civil Code 1590, and it requires return of the ring unless there is a court finding that you don't have to give it back:
"Where either party to a contemplated marriage in this State makes a gift of money or property to the other on the basis or assumption that the marriage will take place, in the event that the donee refuses to enter into the marriage as contemplated or that it is given up by mutual consent, the donor may recover such gift or such part of its value as may, under all of the circumstances of the case, be found by a court or jury to be just".
As you can imagine I never contemplated a marriage where one party was cheating or posting ads on sex sites....nor was the engagement called off by mutual consent. You breached the agreement by your actions since November 8th.
Aside from that the agreement to marry was offered and accepted in New Zealand and as such comes under our civil jurisdiction.....
I have informed the US consulate of your refusal to withdraw the petition and the grounds on which the relationship has dissolved and they assure me that you can not have me barred from the US for any future travel or visas and are now on notice to cancel the petition when it arrives here.
Mark, I am considering my options as to this situation but would like some time to think about this without emotions being involved. I am very disappointed that you were reduced to abuse and threats when you hadn’t given me any opportunity to actually comprehend what has happened and am disturbed that you have never once offered an apology or shown remorse for your actions.
I will contact you in a few weeks but am quite happy for any correspondence to go through your attorney if you advise me of the details.
Look after yourself
Kris
Dec 1st 2003, 7:47 pm
#64
jingling
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 18,123
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
I am so sorry to hear what happened to you. It's terrible; at least you know now and not after marriage.
To me, a "relationship" is something exclusively between two people. So, since this Slimeball cheated on you, HE ended the relationship. My opinion is that the person that ended the relationship should give up the ring...I think you should keep it. Or, give him the ring without the diamond so he can fit his brain where the diamond used to be. Probably a perfect fit!
To me, a "relationship" is something exclusively between two people. So, since this Slimeball cheated on you, HE ended the relationship. My opinion is that the person that ended the relationship should give up the ring...I think you should keep it. Or, give him the ring without the diamond so he can fit his brain where the diamond used to be. Probably a perfect fit!
Dec 1st 2003, 7:52 pm
#65
WTF?
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Homeostasis
Posts: 79,367
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
[i]...I think you should keep it. Or, give him the ring without the diamond so he can fit his brain where the diamond used to be. Probably a perfect fit!
Oh, surely the diamond isn't that small?!?!?!
tee hee hee.........
Dec 1st 2003, 7:58 pm
#66
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 90
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
nope its not!!!!!
thanks guys for making me laugh about this one.....
Krissy
thanks guys for making me laugh about this one.....
Krissy
Dec 1st 2003, 8:04 pm
#67
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2003
Location: Chicago, was in Ohio, Go Bucks
Posts: 366
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Originally posted by krissyv
nope its not!!!!!
thanks guys for making me laugh about this one.....
Krissy
nope its not!!!!!
thanks guys for making me laugh about this one.....
Krissy
Dec 1st 2003, 8:04 pm
#68
SUPER CRUNCHY BALCONY COW
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,476
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Originally posted by krissyv
Hey guys,
If you are interested here's what I wrote him last night at least it will get him off my back for a few weeks so this can cool down and i can decide what i will do:
Hey Mark,
I’ve realised after looking at your advertisement on www.adultfriendfinder.com that the real problem with our relationship was that I wanted to believe that you were actually a better person than this.
As I said all along – you are a great guy with things are going well for you but when they aren’t then you make self destructive choices, with no thought to the consequences for yourself or others. In all honesty I’m really worried about the track you’re taking at the moment....I just feel so sorry that I had to witness such a low point in your life.
As for the ring, which I’m sure is the only thing you’re really interested in right now, below is a heads up on California law regarding this issue;
The statute that governs is Civil Code 1590, and it requires return of the ring unless there is a court finding that you don't have to give it back:
"Where either party to a contemplated marriage in this State makes a gift of money or property to the other on the basis or assumption that the marriage will take place, in the event that the donee refuses to enter into the marriage as contemplated or that it is given up by mutual consent, the donor may recover such gift or such part of its value as may, under all of the circumstances of the case, be found by a court or jury to be just".
As you can imagine I never contemplated a marriage where one party was cheating or posting ads on sex sites....nor was the engagement called off by mutual consent. You breached the agreement by your actions since November 8th.
Aside from that the agreement to marry was offered and accepted in New Zealand and as such comes under our civil jurisdiction.....
I have informed the US consulate of your refusal to withdraw the petition and the grounds on which the relationship has dissolved and they assure me that you can not have me barred from the US for any future travel or visas and are now on notice to cancel the petition when it arrives here.
Mark, I am considering my options as to this situation but would like some time to think about this without emotions being involved. I am very disappointed that you were reduced to abuse and threats when you hadn’t given me any opportunity to actually comprehend what has happened and am disturbed that you have never once offered an apology or shown remorse for your actions.
I will contact you in a few weeks but am quite happy for any correspondence to go through your attorney if you advise me of the details.
Look after yourself
Kris
Hey guys,
If you are interested here's what I wrote him last night at least it will get him off my back for a few weeks so this can cool down and i can decide what i will do:
Hey Mark,
I’ve realised after looking at your advertisement on www.adultfriendfinder.com that the real problem with our relationship was that I wanted to believe that you were actually a better person than this.
As I said all along – you are a great guy with things are going well for you but when they aren’t then you make self destructive choices, with no thought to the consequences for yourself or others. In all honesty I’m really worried about the track you’re taking at the moment....I just feel so sorry that I had to witness such a low point in your life.
As for the ring, which I’m sure is the only thing you’re really interested in right now, below is a heads up on California law regarding this issue;
The statute that governs is Civil Code 1590, and it requires return of the ring unless there is a court finding that you don't have to give it back:
"Where either party to a contemplated marriage in this State makes a gift of money or property to the other on the basis or assumption that the marriage will take place, in the event that the donee refuses to enter into the marriage as contemplated or that it is given up by mutual consent, the donor may recover such gift or such part of its value as may, under all of the circumstances of the case, be found by a court or jury to be just".
As you can imagine I never contemplated a marriage where one party was cheating or posting ads on sex sites....nor was the engagement called off by mutual consent. You breached the agreement by your actions since November 8th.
Aside from that the agreement to marry was offered and accepted in New Zealand and as such comes under our civil jurisdiction.....
I have informed the US consulate of your refusal to withdraw the petition and the grounds on which the relationship has dissolved and they assure me that you can not have me barred from the US for any future travel or visas and are now on notice to cancel the petition when it arrives here.
Mark, I am considering my options as to this situation but would like some time to think about this without emotions being involved. I am very disappointed that you were reduced to abuse and threats when you hadn’t given me any opportunity to actually comprehend what has happened and am disturbed that you have never once offered an apology or shown remorse for your actions.
I will contact you in a few weeks but am quite happy for any correspondence to go through your attorney if you advise me of the details.
Look after yourself
Kris
As for support.. You have us here
Dec 1st 2003, 8:06 pm
#69
WTF?
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Homeostasis
Posts: 79,367
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Originally posted by BritishInOhio
Is there no way you guys can work things out?
Is there no way you guys can work things out?
*SLAP*
Dec 1st 2003, 8:08 pm
#70
WTF?
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: Homeostasis
Posts: 79,367
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Originally posted by krissyv
nope its not!!!!!
thanks guys for making me laugh about this one.....
Krissy
nope its not!!!!!
thanks guys for making me laugh about this one.....
Krissy
I'm not making light of your situation ........ But you have to laugh when everything falls apart. Acting crazy is the only way to keep your sanity.
Dec 1st 2003, 8:09 pm
#71
Forum Regular
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2003
Posts: 90
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Originally posted by Leslie66
*SLAP*
*SLAP*
Krissy
Dec 1st 2003, 8:09 pm
#72
jingling
Joined: Sep 2002
Posts: 18,123
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Originally posted by BritishInOhio
Is there no way you guys can work things out?
Is there no way you guys can work things out?
???
Dec 1st 2003, 8:12 pm
#73
Valley of the Sun
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 628
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
whoa.,. this whole thing is insane.. what a louse.
first I do think contacting the police is probably not a bad idea, who knows what else he is up to..
second, I am thinking give the ring back.. why would you want it anyway? maybe it will stop the harrassment..
very sorry to read this.
first I do think contacting the police is probably not a bad idea, who knows what else he is up to..
second, I am thinking give the ring back.. why would you want it anyway? maybe it will stop the harrassment..
very sorry to read this.
Dec 1st 2003, 8:13 pm
#74
SUPER CRUNCHY BALCONY COW
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 9,476
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Originally posted by BritishInOhio
Is there no way you guys can work things out?
Is there no way you guys can work things out?
Dec 1st 2003, 8:14 pm
#75
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jan 2003
Location: Chicago, was in Ohio, Go Bucks
Posts: 366
Re: Withdrawing a petition & can he sue???
Originally posted by krissyv
The really dumb thing is that a big part of me is wishing today that he would ring and apologize because I love him so much....but the sensible side of me thinks he would just do it all over again....
Krissy
The really dumb thing is that a big part of me is wishing today that he would ring and apologize because I love him so much....but the sensible side of me thinks he would just do it all over again....
Krissy