howard17

Hi,

I have struggled for well over 12 months as a result of my two year marriage to a US citizen. Sadly my wife has a tendency to be abusive in a very underhand, and behind the closed doors manner.

I find it hard to admit the situation I am in. I realize I am not perfect, but I am respectful and honest and have tried my best to make our marriage work. We have been going through therapy, and the biggest sadness is the realization that the sessions are an act for my wife.

I have recently proven that she has a gambling addiction despite the denial by my wife during our therapy sessions. I have confronted my wife with the bank records listing casino withdrawals, and she has admitted the deceit to me, but avoids our therapist at all cost. My wife now avoids the sessions to ensure she is not challenged by our therapist.

I have since discovered that my wife has excessive gambling debts gathered over a period of 12-months.

I have very recently been offered a senior role in a us company. I am concerned as I really do not want to be with my wife any longer. Ideally I would like a separation phase.

I am originally from the UK, but I am scared that relocation back to the UK will cost me professionally due to the current UK job market. In addition I can't financially afford to relocate. I have spent in excess of $40,000 to relocate to the US mainly due to the struggle in finding work in the US.

We have been married for two years, and I would really appreciate any advice related to my situation. We have no children. I'm Sorry that this is such a sad posting.

At the moment I think I have no choice, but to pursue the new role. Long-term though I don't see myself in the US. I moved to the US putting Love, before my career!. Hey Ho!

Any advice would be welcome. Thanks.

tomarense

Hi Howard,

A great deal depends on which State you are domiciled in, and if you were marriedin the US, although this should nt cause insurmountable problems.

Most states have a no-fault divorce, after 6-18mths(depends on State Law); NY doesn't; I believe that's the only one, but can't say for certain.

Google the divorce laws for your State to find out the requirements.

Once you know the law, speak with an attorney who is liscensed, to practise, in your State to get advice.

But always remember, you don't HAVE TO retain an attorney if you feel competent to prosecute your own case.

Hope this helps.

Rete

New York State has a no default divorce. After a legal separation of one year, the divorce can be finalized. Also it does not matter where you married. If you married in the UK you can still divorce in the US.

However, that is not your issue. My question to you is, what is your status in the US? Do you have permanent residency and if so, it is as an LPR or a CPR?

howard17

Thank you for your responses.

We were married in the USA 2 years ago. At the moment I have a permanent resident card with expiration date August 09. I'm not sure if this is LPR, or CPR status?

My understanding is that if we split, I will have to leave the US within three-months.

Sorry for the long winded post. I will google divorce law related to our state.

Thanks.

adjudicator89

Dear Howard17
I am so sorry about your pain and rocky marriage. Listen man, it seems like you did your best. There is a woman out there who will treat you right. Don't put up with this anymore. File for divorce, make sure you keep all the documentation of bonafide marriage, such as ( joint utility bills, joint bank accounts, joint auto insurance, vacations together and on and on) the reason i am saying this is because as soon as your divorce is final you can file I-751 WAIVER to remove your Conditional green card. I have done it and just got recently approved. Make sure you file in the 90 day window frame, but you really can file as soon as your divorce is final. Do you have any statements from your doctor, police, that she was abusive? That might most likely help to your approval. Now, welcome to BE, we are nice folks here trying to help each other based on our experiences. Rete, Rene, Poppy girl, Ian, Mr Folinsky, meauxena, and on and on were extremely helpfull with any question I had. You can also check my posts as I was once in the same boat like you are. Best wishes. Milan

adjudicator89

You don't have to leave USA!!!!! I believe you can be delayed on filing I-751 if your divorce is still not final.

Gibo

Hi Howard

I have been in the same boat as you sorry to say. It sounds to me you have CPR Status if it expires in August 09. You don’t have to leave the USA just because you split from your wife. USCIS make allowances for that. If you decide to stay, you need to file an I751, (Application to remove conditions) 90 days before your CPR expires and wave the joint file requirement. It makes no difference if your divorce is final or not, the fact I split from my wife did not have a negative effect on my application, I still got my LPR status. You just have to prove the marriage was real etc etc.

Rete

EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK ... you are so so wrong. Where in heaven's name did you read this untruth?

Sounds like you have a CPR status. This means conditional permanent resident and 90 days before the expiration of your green card (the date on the card) you and the missus must apply for the removal of your conditions via form I-751. If you are divorced before the expiration date of the green card you can apply for a waiver of removal of conditions without your spouse's involvement.

If, however, you are still waiting for the divorce to become final at that time, you should still file the I-751 and explain that you are awaiting the final judgment of divorce. You will be able to remain in the US to live and work.

Look up Milan, PoppyGirl and there are several others who have gone through the same scenario as yourself.

Folinskyinla

Hi:

As an aside, people should remember that laws vary from state to state. For example, the required separation period -- New York's is a year longer than that required in California.

ian-mstm

As the others have said, you are a CPR - conditional permanent resident. This is because you became a PR before your 2nd wedding anniversary.


The really IMPORTANT thing that you need to know is that you *ARE* a permanent resident. You do *NOT* have to leave the US. Why? Because you *ARE* a PR. Divorce will *not* change that fact.


There are some things you need to consider...

1) In the 90-day window prior to the expiry of your GC, you *must* file form I-751 to remove the conditions on your status. If you do not file in that 90-day window, your status will end the day your GC expires.

2) If your divorce is final before the GC expires, you can *immediately* file to remove the conditions... you don't need to wait for that 90-day window.

3) You are allowed to delay filing *if* you can demonstrate that the delay was beyond your control. This usually happens when there is a divorce in progress... you don't know when the divorce will be final, so you don't know when exactly you can file the I-751.

4) To get around that, many people file the I-751 during that 90-day window whether or not their marriage is still viable... *and* then file another I-751 when their divorce is final.

5) There are *TWO* separate and distinct issues here... your divorce, and your immigration status. Although they seem related, they are not.

And now the really IMPORTANT thing...

6) Whatever else you do... protect yourself financially! Do it now. Gambling is an addiction and like any addiction, the addict will do whatever they can to satisfy that addiction... and if that means bankrupting you, this is what your wife will do. This is *NOT* something you can fix... and it's likely not something your therapist can fix. Your wife is the only one who can fix herself... and until she wants to fix things, things will steadily get worse... for both of you. Protect yourself financially... and do it now.

I don't know you personally but, sadly, I know addiction behavior from both sides of the equation. Confronting your wife will do nothing to change things. Therapy will do nothing to change things. Marriage counselling will do nothing to change things. She is the only one who can make a difference and until she is ready to change... nothing will change. Protect yourself.

Ian

Folinskyinla

Hi Ian:

I agree that OP should relax somewhat and that his situation is nowhere near as dire as he thinks.

However, I would like to clean up your posting a tad. Just the pedantic part of me.

First of all -- LPR status does not automatically terminate at the end of the two years. There is a need for an actual formal termination based upon the expiry of the conditional time.

Second, it is possible to file an I-751 based upon abusive relationship. Not that I have done it, but an established addiction just might fly as abuse.

Third, the "good faith" waiver I-751 can be filed at ANY time after the marriage is ended and before departure from the US. The 90 day "window" does not apply to waiver of the joint petition.

The state issues are out of my bailiwick -- but I can see the possibility of a nullity action based upon the citizen's fraud. That said, one has to be careful of the "relation-back" doctrine attached to nullity judgments -- the immigration law on this is muddy, to say the least.

howard17

Thank you Everyone!

Posting has been a great step forward. I have felt overwhelmed by the situation, and the realization that I can continue to work moving forward
really helps.

I have a lot to review as part of the postings. The information has been great. I will revisit during the week.

Ian. You are right. I need to protect my financial situation, gambling is an addiction. I will look into the joint finances to help control.

Once again, thanks to everyone who has posted advice.