Marriage on F1?
Dec 31st 2017, 12:32 am
#16
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Re: Marriage on F1?
I think you may be underestimating your families. They will in all probability be happy that you have decided to marry and will understand the situation-- a simple visit to the preacher with perhaps just both sets of parents present would be perfect and make things more straightforward for you and fulfill their religious needs. Then, they/you are free to throw a big bash, perhaps with a blessing of your union, for a lot of people at a later date, if that is desired.
I was going to write that having a quick ceremony and keeping it a secret will do nothing for the disapproval coming your way from the more conservative Christian members of the family. Of course, I don't know you or her or the families. But parents, mother in particular, are very emotional when it comes to their children marrying and want to be part of the ceremony.
Be upfront about the wedding. You can keep it simple, as Nutmegger said, and then the parents can happily pass on the news to relatives.
BTW wouldn't her family want to throw a party for the two of you to celebrate the marriage? And honestly, it is a shame that you will have to give up going to classes full time when you need to find full time employment to support the two of you.
Also, bear in mind, if she cannot complete the I-864 and be the sole financial supporter of your visa won't she have to ask a family member to do so? Cat .... Bag and all that.
Be upfront about the wedding. You can keep it simple, as Nutmegger said, and then the parents can happily pass on the news to relatives.
BTW wouldn't her family want to throw a party for the two of you to celebrate the marriage? And honestly, it is a shame that you will have to give up going to classes full time when you need to find full time employment to support the two of you.
Also, bear in mind, if she cannot complete the I-864 and be the sole financial supporter of your visa won't she have to ask a family member to do so? Cat .... Bag and all that.
Regarding classes and employment; my school has pretty much all grad courses completed in the evening! Which would mean I can then do both; work full time and still do grad school, which is part of our reason for considering doing this. That makes sense, I suppose?
She gets a 30k stipend from school, which is enough, I am led to believe?
I did the exact thing you are thinking of.
I was an F1 and we got a courthouse wedding (Although we are having a big wedding this coming July). The reason behind that was I was a student and couldn't work and we both needed to save up for said wedding. So we did the AOS and I've been working and saving since.
In short you need to:
- Get married
- Your now wife needs to earn over the poverty line (I think it's 20 grand?)
- You need to file a bunch of forms that will cost close to $2000 (Including a medical)
- You go for biometrics (Usually around now you can start working)
- You both go for an interview
- You are approved and get your greencard
See my time line below for a rough guide as to the time taken.
In short, get married and find $2000. Your girlfriend/wife needs to earn more than $20,000 or you'll need to fess up and ask her family for financial assurances on the form (No physical money).
I was an F1 and we got a courthouse wedding (Although we are having a big wedding this coming July). The reason behind that was I was a student and couldn't work and we both needed to save up for said wedding. So we did the AOS and I've been working and saving since.
In short you need to:
- Get married
- Your now wife needs to earn over the poverty line (I think it's 20 grand?)
- You need to file a bunch of forms that will cost close to $2000 (Including a medical)
- You go for biometrics (Usually around now you can start working)
- You both go for an interview
- You are approved and get your greencard
See my time line below for a rough guide as to the time taken.
In short, get married and find $2000. Your girlfriend/wife needs to earn more than $20,000 or you'll need to fess up and ask her family for financial assurances on the form (No physical money).
If you are good with filling out forms, have attention to detail and patience, very simple.
Not a 'proper' one, because the proper one will have been the legal one. But you can do a fake fancy one to make everyone think it's the legal one. Keep in mind that forever more, you will have 2 anniversary dates (i.e. your legal one that you two might celebrate on the anniversary, and the fake one that everyone else sends you good wishes on. This doesn't matter except in the future you might end up letting the secret out after the fact, which could cause hurt feelings for those who didn't know.
Not from me, but I imagine it's just a case of setting up the venue, the person performing the ceremony, inviting the guests, etc....and just making sure the person performing the ceremony treats it as an original one (you'll have to let that person in on the secret because you'll already have a marriage certificate and all that).
Yes, it makes sense, and is within your rights and within the law.
Personally, I would just tell everyone you're getting married sooner rather than later, as others have suggested. Makes life a whole lot easier.
Rene
Not a 'proper' one, because the proper one will have been the legal one. But you can do a fake fancy one to make everyone think it's the legal one. Keep in mind that forever more, you will have 2 anniversary dates (i.e. your legal one that you two might celebrate on the anniversary, and the fake one that everyone else sends you good wishes on. This doesn't matter except in the future you might end up letting the secret out after the fact, which could cause hurt feelings for those who didn't know.
Not from me, but I imagine it's just a case of setting up the venue, the person performing the ceremony, inviting the guests, etc....and just making sure the person performing the ceremony treats it as an original one (you'll have to let that person in on the secret because you'll already have a marriage certificate and all that).
Yes, it makes sense, and is within your rights and within the law.
Personally, I would just tell everyone you're getting married sooner rather than later, as others have suggested. Makes life a whole lot easier.
Rene
Well, we would ideally like an 'unofficial' ceremony I guess, where our family and friends can know and celebrate with us properly.
Dec 31st 2017, 12:35 am
#17
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Re: Marriage on F1?
So reading your replies, and speaking a little bit to the girlfriend today, we are going to talk to our parents and go from there. We will talk to hers first, as they're a lot more conservative than mine, and my parents will be more than happy to give our blessings so long as my girlfriends parents approve.
We will explain why and give our reasoning. It makes sense, as it's the next logical step in our relationship. We have a pet, we live together, and we been together long enough to know this is what we want for our life.
Also, it makes sense financially. My classes are evening, and I can therefore work full time, still do my masters and contribute that little bit more financially too. It also makes sense as it will give me a little more freedom than my current visa does.
Thanks guys!
We will explain why and give our reasoning. It makes sense, as it's the next logical step in our relationship. We have a pet, we live together, and we been together long enough to know this is what we want for our life.
Also, it makes sense financially. My classes are evening, and I can therefore work full time, still do my masters and contribute that little bit more financially too. It also makes sense as it will give me a little more freedom than my current visa does.
Thanks guys!
Dec 31st 2017, 12:38 am
#18
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Re: Marriage on F1?
As her parents are conservative Christian's then the dad may expect you to privately go to him first and ask for his blessing.
Dec 31st 2017, 1:19 am
#19
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Re: Marriage on F1?
Well done! So exciting!
Dec 31st 2017, 1:23 am
#20
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Re: Marriage on F1?
Yeah, we would have felt guilty doing it under the radar without our parents knowing. I will keep you all up to date, if you wish to know of developments!
Dec 31st 2017, 1:34 am
#21
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Re: Marriage on F1?
Yes please!
Dec 31st 2017, 1:43 am
#22
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Re: Marriage on F1?
Good luck!
Dec 31st 2017, 1:45 am
#23
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Re: Marriage on F1?
I'm not very familiar with stipends. Is this something she will eventually have to pay back? Does it come in a lump sum, or as monthly income? Has she been filing US tax returns, and the stipend is declared as income?
Rene
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Dec 31st 2017, 2:05 am
#24
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Re: Marriage on F1?
She gets it monthly from the school she does her PhD at, and it is classed as income for tax return purposes, though it isn't taxed! She does her own tax returns.
With Trumps tax changes, they were making it that students tuition waivers count as income, and they were going to tax grad students (it didn't happen in the end though). This would have bumped her up to around 70k in theory, but she doesn't actually get that. Although I'm not sure if the tax reform is expecting grad students to report tuition waivers as income but tax free still.
Dec 31st 2017, 2:13 am
#25
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Re: Marriage on F1?
OK, as long as she has tax returns and can prove she receives that income, you should be good to go!
Rene
Rene
Jan 2nd 2018, 7:39 pm
#26
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Re: Marriage on F1?
Girlfriends dad is coming down next week, to help out with some big jobs round the house. I will take the opportunity to talk to him then, and see what he thinks of the idea.
We will go from there!
We will go from there!
Jan 2nd 2018, 7:53 pm
#27
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Re: Marriage on F1?
Good luck!
But I'm nervous due how conservative they are on stuff!
Jan 3rd 2018, 12:13 am
#29
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Re: Marriage on F1?
None of my business, and off-topic, I know, but if they are so conservative, how is it they would approve living together but not getting married?
Rene
Rene
Jan 3rd 2018, 12:08 pm
#30
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Re: Marriage on F1?
Maybe I need to get the girlfriend to use the gift of the gab she appears to have!