ian-mstm

Oh dear... yes, it certainly is! Quite right, my bad.

Allow me to rephrase: You can't control the content of someone's post... and since this is an open forum, all viewpoints - whether or not they agree with your post and whether or not they live up to your expectation - is fair game.

FWIW, I believe your comments to az2014 were the result of faulty logic: post hoc ergo propter hoc. Many people here, me included, have expressed the same sentiment over the years. It's a common theme, but it seems that you thought the comment was directed at you.

Ian

Rainbowsandicecream

How can you not understand why I would be defensive when I am a person who entered on a VWP and successfully adjusted status. You basically said that you wish that I was unable to do that. You crapped on MY journey.

Also, why is a K1 or CR1 or whatever other visa "the proper way"? The immigration laws allow for people to adjust status on the VWP. All perfectly legal. If it was not a "proper" way then why would it be allowed? There are various way in which people can achieve the end goal which we all have here, to be with and spend our lives with our partners. I would let USCIS decide what is proper and improper (which they clearly have seeing as though it's allowed). Of course there are people that abuse this provision (just like any other provision in life) but it is up to USCIS to decide who those people are and act accordingly.

tom169

Dont speak for all of us that did it the "proper way."

I disagree that this makes a mockery as OP didn't enter the US with the intent to marry and remain.

As such it was fine under the current law and of course the officer adjudicating agreed.

However, I wouldn't ever advise anyone to go repeat what OP has done due to the associated risks.

Rainbowsandicecream

All good and I understand what you're saying

I do feel as though it was directed at me. She said that she wished that the same journey that I JUST went through would no longer be allowed. That would mean that I would not currently be with my partner and we would be separated.

And before everyone jumps in, YES I am aware that was the reality for almost everyone on this site. Separation, frustration and a lot of money and waiting. That being said, you're all aware of how that feels so why would you wish that for everyone else just because you had to go through it. If there is a legal route for people to be with their partners without separation then why would you want that taken away. I'm sure if one would have legally entered the country and decided they did not want to be separated any longer and were in a position to stay and adjust, most, if not all would do it.
It just seems like 'if I went through it then everyone MUST' and I just don't understand why.

Yes, people abuse the system. Every system ever created someone abuses it but that is the job of USCIS to determine who is doing what and to do with that information as they so chose.

DoeJohn

Hey! Congrats!!! Best of luck in your life!

I have some questions:

1. Did you know your future spouse before you entered the US? If not, how long after entering the US did you meet?

2. How long had you been dating/in a relationship until you get married? Because I've heard about the 30-60 days rule. And so did the time period raise any red flag during the interview?

3. Did you hire an attorney?

ian-mstm

The 30/60 day rule is a myth that refuses to die.

Ian

Rainbowsandicecream

Thank you so much!!!

1. Yes.

2. We were friends for about 6 years and were in a serious relationship for about 2-3 years prior to getting married. I lived in Canada for almost 7 years and we both lived near the US/Canada border, so we had a long distance relationship but were able to drive only a few hours to see each other very often.

Nothing at all was questioned about how long we were together/intent/30-60 day rule. Nothing at all. Just how we met and to tell him about the proposal. I think the 30-60 day rule applies to how long you wait to file AOS from the time you enter the US, not how long you were together (we filed 6 months after I entered the US). I'm not even sure if this is something that is really even considered as your intent is determined at the Point of Entry.

3. Yes we did. Now with hindsight, we didn't need to. It was a very straight forward process. At the time, we were not sure about what my options were so we hired an attorney to advise us if I was able to stay in the US. We expected it to be a way more complicated and stressful process than it was.

Rete

Just so you know, the 30-60 day time is rubbish. Why not spring for a consultation with an experienced immigration attorney before you make any decisions on what you are going to do.

Many of us on the marriage-based visa forum met our spouses online and personally, I feel it helps to actually have met in person and spent some time together before leaping into marriage. Just my way of thinking.

I met my husband online where we conversed for nearly a year before meeting each other. He is from Canada (Ottawa) and myself from NYS. We married via the K-1 Fiancee Visa a year after our first in-person meeting.

Twinkle0927

So had you already commenced a K-1 petition?

I can understand the temptation to "just stay and adjust". It went through our minds more than once each time I had to leave my husband and go home to the UK. No one wants to leave their husband or wife or boyfriend or girlfriend behind.

You say that if you hadn't done this route you would be "separated" now but you were visiting regularly and if you had started a K-1 when you reached the stage of deciding that you did want to be together forever you would have probably been together just as quickly and you could still visit throughout, especially if you were both close to the border and it was just a few hours drive.

I mention this more for the benefit of readers unfamiliar with K-1/CR-1 who might be thinking that these visa paths mean you can't visit throughout as that is what could be deduced from how you describe it in the text I have quoted.

Personally, I couldn't just walk out on my life and leave everyone at home (family and friends) to take care of selling/packing/disposing of my stuff, cleaning my place and returning the keys. I also couldn't walk out on a job without giving the required notice. My career is important to me and I would be concerned that any subsequent employer (the industry I work in is very "incestuous" and everyone is linked to everyone else) might find out that I had gone on holiday during my previous job and just decided not to return and might therefore question my dedication to the role and my work ethic. But that's entirely my opinion /experience of the situation and why each time the thought of staying entered our minds it was (almost) immediately dismissed. Had my husband been the major earner or had I not had such an established life in the U.K. it might have been different.

Rainbowsandicecream

No, we had not started the K1 petition.

For the majority of our relationship I was living in Canada and we were going back and forth frequently, but I had moved back to the UK before we got married. So, it was very long distance at that point and we were separated by almost 4000 miles and $1000 plane tickets and would probably still be separated at this point.

Yes, I totally understand that for a lot of people, staying and adjusting last minute isn't an option. Fortunately for us, my situation allowed for it. When I had returned to the UK, I was staying with my parents and so I had no obligations as far as leases etc. I had sold all my furniture when I left Canada and returned to the UK and so my only possessions were my clothes (which my Mother shipped to me when I decided to stay in the US).
Also, my employer was very understanding and happy for me. My boss and I had a very good relationship and was well aware of my long distance relationship and the challenges the distance presented. Although he was disappointment that I would not return, he was very happy for me and offered to assist in any he could when I needed a reference for future employment. I also worked remotely for some time to help with the transition and assisted in training my replacement with a lot of phone calls and e-mails.

Everyone's situation allows for different things. I guess that's why USCIS offers different routes for people to take depending on their situation. Thankfully, the route that we took worked out well for us.

Freeny

[QUOTE=Rainbowsandicecream;12256366]Hi All,

Can you give me more information on how to start the process please?

Twinkle0927

[QUOTE=Freeny;12304177] I'm not sure the op will be back given the reception on this thread. However, you have started your own thread (which is a much better idea than asking a new question on an existing thread) and you have started to receive excellent advice there.

ian-mstm

Since you've received good information in another thread, I suggest a moderator close this one!

Ian