Pulaski

Noorah only made the recommendation because a USC can get more than 90 days in the UK without a visa. It sounds like the OP can make numerous visits to the US without having issues finding work in the UK. .... He also seems to believe that spending more time living with his gf will improve the chances of a successful marriage, when in fact time spent living together before marriage is a very poor predictor of having a long and happy marriage. In fact the all the data over the past 60 years on trends in cohabitation and divorce would suggest that the opposite is true.

scrubbedexpat099

Marriage Guidance is probably somewhere I should not go, especially as we have people far more competent in advising than I am.

Pulaski

I am better with facts and statistics than counseling, but suffice to say, my sister cohabitated before she got married, I did not. Only one of us has a failed marriage.

Of course it helps that I didn't marry an ar§ëhole.

scrubbedexpat099

I take that was a fact rather that statistic.

Guindalf

Must.....resist!

Pulaski

Of course.

dj6372

As you have heard your obvious route to the USA is by marriage, now obviously you wish to spend every waking day with her, sorry it isn't going to happen.
You're not the first to be smitten by an American beauty, many of us on this site have been or are in the same situation, myself included.
My then girlfriend (now wife) dated across the pond for close to 2 years, I travelled on an ESTA, stayed 2-3 weeks and did that as often as my holiday and bank account could cope, also my wife travelled to the UK whenever her meagre vacation time allowed.
Its doable, you just have to face up the the facts and stop trying to find a chink in the immigration armour, there isn't one!! Many have looked, tried and failed.


As fellow BE'rs often say "I hear the ringing of wedding bells in the future"

ian-mstm

With respect, they're doing no such thing. This has nothing whatsoever to do with people spending time together before marriage... it has to do with limiting the number of people who enter the US. Full stop. End of story. The US has absolutely no interest in either your love life or its viability. By the way, you are free to spend as much time as you want together... but you can't do it in the US - and there is no "spend time in the US with my girlfriend to test the waters" visa.

Ian

Twinkle0927

US immigration is not intetested in the longevity of your marriage. 50% of marriages end in divorce. So by that statistic 50% of spouses granted residency by virtue of marriage to a USC will not have a successful marriage. So what? USCIS does not approve petitions based on whether they think the couples are a good match, but based on whether the marriage was entered into for the right reasons. Even the most genuine couple can fall apart later down the line.

For that reason, they are not interested in providing you with the opportunity to "try before you buy". There are visas for marrieds and about-to-be-marrieds but no visas for maybe-get-marrieds. You will just have to sweat it out with visits whrn you can like hundreds of others are doing. Not one of us enjoys this. It is possible to make a relationship and a marriage work when separated by a great distance. Military wives manage it all the time. But I understand that you've just discovered something very exciting and you're anxious to start your new adventure. Good luck.

scrubbedexpat099

Judging by 90 Day Fiancee 95%.

Dodgexander

Thanks again everyone. Luckily I'm in a good position right now with money saved and between jobs. Hence why I'm able to consider long periods away. It worries me a bit that next time I visit, if they start to get suspicious in Detroit about my ties in the UK. Having no job to return to is gonna line me up to look like I'm going to be looking for work there even with sufficient money and a return ticket back home. I can only hope my last visit and timely return goes in my favour.

We've discussed everything in this thread together and are more positive about our future now, although it sucks that we have to spend time apart and that other options related to staying 6 months, work and study look close to impossible we still we at least know now we're capable of meeting the poverty guidelines in the future.

Yes, we have to tread carefully and even more so for the sake of her child. Principally it's him and her lack of vacation that prohibits her from longer visits here. Although we do plan to arrange that short visit next year. Having lived abroad before luckily for me I have a tiny bit of experience of what to expect, albeit nowhere near as difficult or as far as the USA.

The biggest question to come in the future (apart from, fingers crossed; will you marry me) is likely to be which visa path we take. Something is etching me towards the fiancee visa purely because it means spending more time together. However in the grand scheme of things it seems like there are benefits also to K3 which I understand is quicker (and cheaper) due to less documents and dealing with the embassy here in London. It also means I can work in those three months instead earning more money.
I wonder which path is better and why, I also wonder if it's worth employing an immigration lawyer. We actually know one through a colleague at her work and she says he's a leading immigration lawyer at that. Perhaps we can get a good price!

Pulaski

The K-3 visa is defunct, and not an option, so forget about it.

The difference between a K-1 and a CR-1 is that you can work immediately on arrival if you get a CR-1, the downside is that you can't live in the US for about 8-10 months after you get married, though you can visit. If you take the K-1 route it effectively means that you can't work for about five months, until you have married, filed your paperwork, and received your Employment Authorization Document (EAD).

So far as using a lawyer goes, IMO it would be an utter waste of money unless you have have complications such as a criminal record or previous overstay in the US. So long as you can read and complete some rather tedious forms, there is really nothing that a lawyer can do for you, other than relieve you of a tidy chunk of change.

Wintersong

I think this is pretty accurate, to be honest.

You've known each other a year and a half, even if that time hasn't been spent in each other's physical company. You've had more than enough long conversations to know whether or not this relationship is likely to go the distance and you've clearly already both decided that it is.

I'm not suggesting that you jump into the visa process immediately or anything, but I AM going to reiterate what Pulaski said. If you spend 80 days with her in the US, by the end of that time you'll know. Once you know, you'll have a better idea of how and when you want to proceed.

My situation was similar to yours: we had known each other around 2 years online, but there was never a 'relationship' as such during that time - we just chatted through IM. I visited for 10 days in April 2004 and that was enough for him to propose. I then spent another 6 weeks here in the summer of that year, just to make sure. We got married the following April.

Realistically, your only route to moving permanently to be with her will be through marriage. If you're willing to uproot your life and move to a new country to be with her, signing a marriage certificate isn't really that big a deal

Edit: I should mention that mine was a completely different visa, so don't make any plans based on my timeline!

ian-mstm

The K-3 visa was useful about 20 years ago when it was taking more than 2 years to process a CR-1 visa. The CR-1 process is now as fast as the K-3 used to be (8-10 months)... so the K-3 is no longer a viable option and, in fact, if you attempt to file the paperwork for a K-3, it'll get tossed in the garbage.


Well, that's clearly not the case, since there is extra paperwork required for a K-3 visa.


You'd be dealing with London either way! I suggest you stop reading random web sites because you're simply confusing yourself even more than you are already.

Since this now seems to be about marriage one way or another, perhaps a moderator could move it to the marriage-based forum.

Ian

Given2Fly

I visit my fiancé every 2 to 3 months or so, for up to 2 or 3 weeks at a time. Never had any issues at the US border. Just the usual 3 questions - why are you visiting, how long for, and what job do you do.

Time apart sucks, I agree. But it is what it is.