URGENT advice please - Sis needs to come home
#1
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5
URGENT advice please - Sis needs to come home
Hi all
I stumbled across this forum whilst searching for some information.
I am not an expat but my sister is. She lives in Ohio and is married to an American National and they have a 16 month old son who was born there.
My parents have recently come back from visiting her and have discovered she is being mentally, emotionally and physically abused - the physical abuse is getting worse and my parents want her out of there. Up until this holiday we had no idea what was going on as they have only stayed a week at a time twice a year... Luckily my parents stayed for 2 weeks this time and BIL couldnt keep up appearances for that long. Mum witnessed cruelty in week 2 and was threatened by BIL to keep quiet otherwise he will make my sis "regret it". Parents obviously distressed at leaving sis but hands are tied and hope we can make escape plans from uk. My sister wants to come home and bring her boy with her but we dont know how to make this happen.
She went on a marriage visa, her sponsor no longer has enough income a required to sponsor her residency application. She does not have her son's birth cert as BIL has hidden it and she can't get a new one beause she is not a US citizen.
She WILL NOT leave without her son because he is severly at risk of being abused... and we suspect this is already happening based on what my sister has told my mother. Her husband and his family virtually watch her every move and is limited in what she can say when we speak on skype. We have a few code words sorted so I can be sure how she REALLY is and how volatile the situation is.
She has a valid UK passport for herself.
can ANYONE give us some advice? I have NO idea how we can ensure she and Nephew can come home.
Anything that can even point us in the right direction would be great.
Thanks so much in advance
one extremely concerned sister
I stumbled across this forum whilst searching for some information.
I am not an expat but my sister is. She lives in Ohio and is married to an American National and they have a 16 month old son who was born there.
My parents have recently come back from visiting her and have discovered she is being mentally, emotionally and physically abused - the physical abuse is getting worse and my parents want her out of there. Up until this holiday we had no idea what was going on as they have only stayed a week at a time twice a year... Luckily my parents stayed for 2 weeks this time and BIL couldnt keep up appearances for that long. Mum witnessed cruelty in week 2 and was threatened by BIL to keep quiet otherwise he will make my sis "regret it". Parents obviously distressed at leaving sis but hands are tied and hope we can make escape plans from uk. My sister wants to come home and bring her boy with her but we dont know how to make this happen.
She went on a marriage visa, her sponsor no longer has enough income a required to sponsor her residency application. She does not have her son's birth cert as BIL has hidden it and she can't get a new one beause she is not a US citizen.
She WILL NOT leave without her son because he is severly at risk of being abused... and we suspect this is already happening based on what my sister has told my mother. Her husband and his family virtually watch her every move and is limited in what she can say when we speak on skype. We have a few code words sorted so I can be sure how she REALLY is and how volatile the situation is.
She has a valid UK passport for herself.
can ANYONE give us some advice? I have NO idea how we can ensure she and Nephew can come home.
Anything that can even point us in the right direction would be great.
Thanks so much in advance
one extremely concerned sister
#2
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Joined: Feb 2010
Location: Temecula, CA
Posts: 4,759
Re: URGENT advice please - Sis needs to come home
OMG. This http://www.actionohio.org/dvshelter.htm has a list of domestic violence shelters in Ohio - but can your sister and nephew get to one, or phone one for advice, without her husband knowing? They might not have the expertise to deal with the immigration issue but should at least be able to advise on the immediate issues of abuse. Good luck.
Remember that you can't take a child out of the country without the father's permission - or some kind of court order.
Remember that you can't take a child out of the country without the father's permission - or some kind of court order.
#3
Re: URGENT advice please - Sis needs to come home
Take a read through this thread I think you will find it useful. The thread contain a link to another thread that may be helpful to you.
Please read carefully through this post by Dean, British Consul...he posted a couple of useful links for British Citizens in your position.
Good luck.
Edit: If you are using a computer your husband has access to I suggest you clear the history so he can't easily find out what sites you've been looking at.
Please read carefully through this post by Dean, British Consul...he posted a couple of useful links for British Citizens in your position.
Good luck.
Edit: If you are using a computer your husband has access to I suggest you clear the history so he can't easily find out what sites you've been looking at.
Last edited by Jerseygirl; Nov 1st 2010 at 12:49 pm.
#4
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Joined: Aug 2002
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 38,865
Re: URGENT advice please - Sis needs to come home
That said, she should look at returning to the UK as a long-term strategy. Her immediate goal should be to remove herself and her son from the abusive environment. That means getting them out of the house... and out of the area.
She went on a marriage visa, her sponsor no longer has enough income a required to sponsor her residency application.
She does not have her son's birth cert as BIL has hidden it and she can't get a new one beause she is not a US citizen.
Ian
#5
Re: URGENT advice please - Sis needs to come home
It's a good idea to have the birth certificate but as said, the first order is to get away. Where in Ohio is she? I know of a few shelters in the Cleveland area that can help if she is close.
#6
Re: URGENT advice please - Sis needs to come home
Ohio
Bureau of Vital Statistics
Ohio Department of Health
246 North High Street, 1st Floor
Columbus, OH 43216
Phone: (614) 466-2531
More information available online
http://babyparenting.about.com/gi/o....italstats.aspx
Maybe a phone call to these people about a copy of the birth certificate?
Best of luck for her.
Bureau of Vital Statistics
Ohio Department of Health
246 North High Street, 1st Floor
Columbus, OH 43216
Phone: (614) 466-2531
More information available online
http://babyparenting.about.com/gi/o....italstats.aspx
Maybe a phone call to these people about a copy of the birth certificate?
Best of luck for her.
#7
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Joined: Mar 2004
Posts: 2
Re: URGENT advice please - Sis needs to come home
She went on a K3 and has not adjusted status, she does not have a Green Card, she is not a Permanent Resident?
I agree this is secondary, just want to check.
I agree this is secondary, just want to check.
#8
Re: URGENT advice please - Sis needs to come home
Good thinking, Trixie, here is the direct addy for Ohio's Vital Statistics: http://www.odh.ohio.gov/vitalstatistics/vitalstats.aspx
#9
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Joined: Nov 2010
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Re: URGENT advice please - Sis needs to come home
Guys
Thanks so much for the info..
Really worried about her and my nephew. My mum has been told by sis that BIL wont l her chat as often to family because he doesnt like us :-(
I will contact the only friend she trusts and hope he can get her to go to a refuge or something.
re: residential status... just wanted to give as much info as poss... worried she'd be deported without son if she just ran out. she wont go without him. guess we need a lawyer to get a court order so she could bring little fella with her.
re: birth cert...my mum tried to get one with my sis and they told her she needed to be a permanent US resident/citizen to get one.
Guess we just have to bide our time... hope se leaves that t****r.
Thanks so much for the info..
Really worried about her and my nephew. My mum has been told by sis that BIL wont l her chat as often to family because he doesnt like us :-(
I will contact the only friend she trusts and hope he can get her to go to a refuge or something.
re: residential status... just wanted to give as much info as poss... worried she'd be deported without son if she just ran out. she wont go without him. guess we need a lawyer to get a court order so she could bring little fella with her.
re: birth cert...my mum tried to get one with my sis and they told her she needed to be a permanent US resident/citizen to get one.
Guess we just have to bide our time... hope se leaves that t****r.
#10
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5
Re: URGENT advice please - Sis needs to come home
#11
Just Joined
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Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 5
Re: URGENT advice please - Sis needs to come home
Take a read through this thread I think you will find it useful. The thread contain a link to another thread that may be helpful to you.
Please read carefully through this post by Dean, British Consul...he posted a couple of useful links for British Citizens in your position.
.
Please read carefully through this post by Dean, British Consul...he posted a couple of useful links for British Citizens in your position.
.
Jerseygirl thanks, I will get in contact with reunite and see what can be done.
#12
Re: URGENT advice please - Sis needs to come home
Here's a list of domestic violence shelters for all counties in Ohio. Hopefully she can find something near home.
http://www.actionohio.org/dvshelter.htm
http://www.actionohio.org/dvshelter.htm
#13
Re: URGENT advice please - Sis needs to come home
One immigration attorney often recommended in cases like this on another site I also frequent often (http://immigrate2us.net) is Heather Poole in California. Heather has experience with assisting battered women immigrants. You may want to contact her on your sister's behalf to start planning ahead and get an idea of what your sister is up against once she gets out of the situation she is in now. Immigration law is federal, so the immigration attorney you eventually choose does not need to be in the same state as your sister in order to assist her. Heather may also be able to recommend someone locally for the family law issues your sister is facing.
http://www.humanrightsattorney.com/
I know you said that you want your sister and nephew to get out of the US and return to the UK, but it may not be that simple. You don't want to be in a situation where your nephew is in the US for whatever reason, and your sister is unable to get back into the US. Yes, this is absolutely a secondary concern at this point, but should be discussed with an immigration attorney before your sister decides whether or not to leave the US - once she has removed herself and your nephew from the abusive situation she is in now.
Keep posting here, as the members of britishexpats are very knowledgeable and will do their best to help you and your sister. You may also wish to visit http://immigrate2us.net for additional suggestions and support. You will find a lot of helpful and supportive people there, too.
Keep us posted. Good luck to you and your sister.
Last edited by discoviking; Nov 2nd 2010 at 11:17 am.
#14
Re: URGENT advice please - Sis needs to come home
Tell her to call this number (614) 224-4663, it's a big Columbus shelter called Choices. They do have legal help but I don't know how much they can do with the immigration side of things.