glowie

Hello all,


since you have been so helpful on my journey to getting the green card, I thought I ask you for advice.

A friend of mine came to the States ~14 years ago on a J-1 for summer camp work and stayed ever since. She is from Latin America.
She is in a relationship right now, with a naturalized US citizen, and they want to tie the knot this summer.
These were the facts, now comes the part I don't know many details about.
Supposedly he was once married already, but not a bona fide marriage, just for the papers for the girl. She got her GC, they got divorced and she also got the unconditional GC with waiver, filled I-751 as single. I got told (as said, I don't have many details on this and it is "hearsay") that after the fact a former friend of his reported the whole thing to the USCIS, the unconditional green card got revoked and the girl had to leave the US.
There were no ramifications against him though.
This is roughly 4 years ago.

Since my friend is in the States out of status, obviously without valid passport since she didn't renew it, but has a driver's license (and an SSN which she obviously is not using), would it be better to use a lawyer for the AOS process or should it still be straight forward (since mine went so straight ahead without any hiccups having a visa and all, she takes the whole thing very lightly, which I think is not the right way to go about this)?
Secondly: If the story about her fiancée is true, will the whole thing raise red flags with USCIS? So a more thorough investigation of this case?
With them it is bona fide, they live together for 6 months now, have known each other for three years, etc. I'm just worried that his past will ruin the whole thing.

Thanks a lot in advance!

ian-mstm

Yes... and absolutely nothing should be held back during that discussion. You only know what you've been told, and there may be other issues of which you're unaware.


Well then, she's an idiot! That said, your friend must not, under any circumstances whatsoever, leave the US until she has a green card in her hand. The moment she leaves the US, she will immediately trigger a 10-year ban from the US.


Not likely. He will, of course, need to declare the previous marriage and divorce, but he shouldn't be required to go into the details.


I understand your concern - but this is not anything you have control over. I know you probably want to help, but beyond suggesting that they seek the advice of a competent immigration attorney - you should step out of the situation and not involve yourself any further. The future is in their hands... not yours!

Ian

glowie

Thanks so much Ian!

I already suggested a lawyer once and she said she knows someone, but maybe I should make her more aware again what the whole thing means for her and to spend a bit of money in someone with a reputation. If anything goes wrong, she would not forgive herself, so I hope she'll be listening.

And no, I don't want to get involved any further, but since she knows that I went through the process not too long ago, she keeps asking me for advice, even though I'm telling her over and over again that our situations are totally different and she needs to talk to an experienced lawyer about this.

Thanks again for the advice!

glowie

Ian, I have to resurrect this old thread. As you advised I tried to stay clear of discussions about this topic with my friend. As far as I know she had her biometrics done 2 weeks ago.

She was telling me about a Mexico vacation for her birthday (1/4) and I told her that it is really unlikely to already have her green card by then. She, obviously still much more careless than I would be, just said that her lawyer advised her that she has nothing to fear, as long as she has the advanced parole before leaving the country.
I tried reasoning with her, telling her about the 10 year ban and so on and I think she wants to believe me, but her now husband and lawyer keep "pressuring" her that it's okay to leave the country (once more, I'm not sure if she ever talked to the lawyer herself, I asked her numerous times in the beginning and she always just said that it is a lawyer in a building where her husband works as a door man, yeah, no comment...).

I found a couple of articles that say that the Board of Immigration Appeals ruled that you can travel internationally with advanced parole and AOS pending, but only "provided that they were petitioned before April 30, 2001, and were in the US on December 21, 2000.", which is obviously not the case for her ( BIA rules that travelling on advance parole does not trigger 3/10 year bar | Opinion, News, The Philippine Star | philstar.com ). But then in section 241 (i) it also says that
"NOTE: There are some groups that may not be affected by any deadlines related to Section 245(i). The spouse or unmarried minor child of a U.S. citizen or the parent of a U.S. citizen child at least 21 years of age if he/she was inspected and lawfully admitted to the United States, but subsequently overstayed his/her authorized admission or worked without permission, does not need to apply for adjustment of status under Section 245(i). " https://www.uscis.gov/sites/default/...Act_032301.pdf

So I'm a bit confused as to how it legally looks like.
You said she should not leave the US before having her green card, I told her that as well (I didn't even do that during my AOS, even though I was in J-1 status when applying and only out of status for roughly 5 months), but I would like to have a ruling or some experience reports and I don't seem to be able to find anything.

(No, I'm not trying to get too involved in this, but I don't want to lose the geographic closeness to a friend just because her husband is careless and stupid).

Thanks a bunch in advance!

Noorah101

Go to www.uscis.gov. Find the page for Form I-131. Click the link to open the instructions. Read pages 5 and 6.

I don't understand why some people (your friend) make their lives so complicated. With all the places to travel within the USA, they can definitely wait the months until she has her green card to go to Mexico.

Rene

ian-mstm

Even if she has advance parole, she should not use it. She should not leave the US until she has a green card in her hand.


... and that is all you can do. If she leaves the US, she may find herself unable to return. That's her choice... and you need to step away from the situation. Even if you need to be harsh, do it. She needs to stand or fall on her own choices - and not because of anything you've said or done.


You don't need anything of the sort. This is her issue, not yours. You need to subscribe to the "tough love" theory of long-term behavioral change. If something goes wrong, she will find a way to blame you - because you (in her mind) know more about immigration than she does... and so you should either have told her, or should have told her more forcefully... but it'll be your fault if something goes wrong. Sadly, we have seen this happen all too often to members who want to help their friend - but really shouldn't.

I do not say this lightly - but please, if you value the friendship at all, do not help her any further.


You say you don't want to get too involved, but that's exactly what's happening. I understand she's a friend, but there are some definite truths in life including: you can cure ignorance, but you can't fix stupid.

Ian

glowie

Thank you so much Noorah and Ian.

I will give her the hint Noorah gave me to the instructions of the I-131 and then let it be. And if she comes back again asking I'll just play parrot and repeat myself.

Ian, I purposely took a step back after my post/your answer above from her situation and let her be. The "problem" was that she told me last Friday about the planned Mexico trip and I couldn't contain myself with just wishing her a nice vacation.

Rete

Not just declare the prior marriage and divorce but will be asked if he had ever sponsored someone for an immigration benefit before. Also if the previous wife is not a US citizen or has not worked for 40 quarters under social security as of yet, then he is still on the hook for the prior filed I-864 and that must be disclosed as well.

PS Did not realize this was an OLD post.

Rete

Ahhh let her go to Mexico.

glowie

Rete, thank you for the info!

An yes, I won't cancel her flight for her or kidnap her just to keep her in the States :P
I'm just worried for her because, as said before, she seems to take everything a bit too likely for my taste and let's her husband and his lawyer (or lawyer he works for, or in whatever relation they are) have full reign. So yes, I'm still worried, but understand that I cannot change the situation, I did what I could and it's not up to me.

glowie

So... don't judge me for being here for my friend again... the unavoidable (from my perspective) happened: she (after exactly 1 year of marriage) left him yesterday after him physically abusing her (not even saying anything about the emotional abuse going on within the last 6 months).

The situation right now is: She didn't get the approval of her conditional green card yet. They had the interview end of January and haven't heard anything since (she has her advanced parole and EAD).

Does she have any chance of still getting her conditional green card? And if yes, if she gets a divorce, are waivers common to remove conditions?

She is not yet willing to go to the police. I'm not sure if she is afraid or doesn't want to harm him.

ian-mstm

Yes.


Yes.


I'll repeat here what I said last year - you need to step away from this issue.


I have periodically posted this list before and I believe it's good to systematically document things. I apologize that I do not know who posted this originally - I am *not* the author of this document, and I'd like to give credit where it's due!

Ian

============
VAWA Filing

A self petitioner's declaration is also an affidavit. Explain in your own words to describe the history and nature of your relationship and residence with the abuser, history and nature of the abuse, and the ways to show good moral character. If you need to write your own, a good declaration contains the following:


Section on relationship to the abuser

• How, when, and where the applicant met the spouse.
• Describe the courtship before they married.
• Details about the marriage proposal and wedding day.
• If children, when were they born?

Section on residence with the abuser

• When they moved in together.
• Places where they lived together.
• How long they lived in each place together.

Section on domestic violence

• HOW and WHEN spouse began abusive behavior;
• How long into marriage did spouse's behavior change?
• Was behavior change sudden or gradual?
• Focus on FIRST, WORST, and LAST incidents;
• Include both PHYSICAL and PSYCHOLOGICAL abuse.
• Was substance abuse involved?
• What led up to the incidents?
• Did applicant call the police? If not, why not?
• If police were called, was abuser arrested? If not, why not?
• Did the applicant go to a doctor or hospital?
• Did applicant get a restraining order? If so, when?
• Did anyone witness the violence?
• Describe any sexual abuse.
• Describe any verbal abuse, including insults.
• Describe any abuse based on economic power.
• Describe any effect on children.
• Describe any threats by the abuser to turn the applicant into the USCIS or have them deported.

Section on good moral character

• Lack of problems with the law.
• Position in, contributions to community.
• Role in the positive development of the children.
• More extensive explanation of good moral character if needed to counterbalance any problems showing good moral character

============

Ian

glowie

Thanks for the reply Ian.

She finally filed a police report about the abuse yesterday, turns out he already was arrested 4 times for abusing women and 5 times for different reasons (so 9 times in total).

Anyways, he is now threading her to withdraw his I-130. He wants to file for divorce and withdraw in one swoop so to say. Since they have been waiting since January for an answer in regards to the petition and the I-485, they did get in contact with a congressman 2 months ago and are supposed to get answer by 7/28.

Can he withdraw his I-130 this late in the game? I assume yes? Does a divorce filing (it obviously takes some time to be actually final) already deems her ineligible for the conditional green card?

If she does get her greencard on 7/28 because his withdrawal comes in too late or whatever, does his withdrawal still take effect and the green card is revoked?

Thanks a lot, as always!

ian-mstm

She is allowed to remain in the US under "color of law" until such time as the I-485 is adjudicated. I don't believe there's anything he can do to change that. She's protected by law.


He's an abuser... and once an abuser always an abuser. For him, this is all about power... and he wants the power to control what happens to her. His problem, is that US Immigration now controls what happens to her... not him.


No.


Please don't confuse a Congressman's response by 7/28 with her getting a green card by 7/28. That's not likely to happen.


She needs an attorney - indeed, preferably two attorneys... one for her immigration issues and one for her divorce issues. They are tied together, but they are two separate sets of issues.

That all said, since you are unwilling to step back from this issue, I will. I can not and will not enable you further to help someone who clearly has issues that extend way beyond your ability to help. I understand she's your friend and you want to help but, frankly, she needs professional help... and, with respect, that's not you.

Ian

glowie

Thank you so much Ian.

I understand what you're saying with stepping away and I'm not using your answers as legal help for her, she has an attorney (for now just for immigration).
She is living with me at the moment, she sends me updates every time he contacts her with his crazy demeanor. The only thing I'm trying to do is keep her looking forward and not believing everything or anything he says.
I did you as you suggested after she blew my previous help out the window, but back then, a lot was still sunshine and well, whereas now I have a broken, fearful woman sitting in my house.

I'm not trying to be her lawyer, I'm trying to dismantle what he is trying to do, meaning keeping her under "his power", by letting her know that he is not as powerful as he might think.

I hope this makes sense. Still, thank you again for all the time your taking to reply and your knowledge sharing!