Paul_Shepherd

I don’t see it that way, as I said before its not just about the place, its my new home, and meeting my friends that I used to talk about a lot. And to be fair Canada can be anything you want it to be, Ive done all the Greece Turkey Spain beach holidays…. And I remember on my first trip to see a friend in Canada at his friends cottage, where he had all the toys, tubing, water skiing, jetski etc what a great time!

Ive been on a boat on the broads – and although I thoroughly enjoyed it – its not the Kawartha’s; the Trent Severn Waterway is one of the most beautiful stretches of water in Canada….. I thought why bother with package holidays and crowded beaches to Spain again when I have this paradise. . Canada certainly has heat in the summer, just down the road is Cobourg beach – if you want beaches. Canada’s wonderland if you want a theme park. Lots of Tourist stuff in TO and Ottawa. Plus on top of that a group of ready made friends for them to meet that would welcome them as much as I would.

I guarantee they would go back home saying "why didn’t we do that sooner".
A friend of mine and his wife came over a couple of years ago….they came for a week and I had lots of stuff planned and lot of people for them to meet. The last thing he said to me was what a fantastic holiday, and what great fun people we have met, we will be back for sure.

becks_r

So that does sound like the thing to do, try to keep the bond going from afar and keep sending the photos of things to do and things you are doing that they may like. Hopefully then the nephews will start hassling the parents to let them visit you. Also start saying 'when you come to visit', rather than 'if you come to visit'

Paul_Shepherd

I can totally empathise.....i havent got the "why would i want to come to Canada for?" response from my sister but if i mentioned it again id probably get something to that effect!

And yes my two friends that have visited me are my two friends i have most contact with - communication is 50/50 there, which shows it is possible. And strangely enough they were relatively new friendships when i left the UK, our friendship has become closer since, while friends with more of a history have started to drift away now.

Paul_Shepherd

Yes, thats where i am at now, I always try and send pictures of interest, things that he wouldnt see or do in the UK. I didnt want to put "when you visit" though as i dont want to give him false hope, until ive raised the subject with my sister and shes in agreement for them to let them visit me in the future. Then i feel i can say when instead of if.

It sounds very quiet where you live in the US? do you think thats why you havent had any visitors?

Almost Canadian

I was planning to go the rally at Sturgis last year but the person that I was planning to go with laid down his bike around this time last year and is only now walking without the aid of a stick. I am meeting him for lunch on Sunday (my first time on my bike this year) and I will see if I can persuade him to go this year.

becks_r

Not so quiet, although the village we live in is quiet. But we are moving back to Rochester, which has museums, theatre and art galleries - just not quite the same as London, I was spoilt there! - and a zoo. Niagara and Buffalo are about an hour away. One thing Rochester does have is loads of festivals through the summer, and a vibrant music scene!!

There is Seabreeze amusement park nearby and of course, the lake! The canal and the river are good for fishing, and walking - and so is the lake!

For other outdoorsy things, there is Mendon Ponds Park (with a bird sanctuary), Letchworth state park isn't far, there are smaller parks nearer. Also, the finger lakes are close - we could take people to Watkins Glen, which I would love! The finger lakes area is really a wine area, so we could do a tour of wine places with friends.

I think the biggest problems with my friends visiting is either they can't afford it, or they get too busy or they just can't be bothered to sort something out. They go back to the same places every year for holidays, do the same round of work and home every day, and then stuff near to them on weekends. As for family, they are either too old, or too busy looking after their older immediate relatives, or don't have the money.

But I think for some of them, if they could just fly into New York, for instance, and see us there, they would do that. But to change flights is too much hassle.

If I actually arranged something, like invited everyone for a special event, and arranged the flights, hotels, and paid for it all, I think I would get some to turn up. But otherwise, as I said before, they are all wrapped up in their life...

Paul_Shepherd

If I actually arranged something, like invited everyone for a special event, and arranged the flights, hotels, and paid for it all, I think I would get some to turn up. But otherwise, as I said before, they are all wrapped up in their life...



Same here....im sure if i were to get married or something like that i may get them to visit then, but I feel even that is not 100%! Other than an event, im on my own, and sounds like many other people have a similar scenario too.

After reading many peoples input on here, im ok with that now.....dissapointed yes, but it is just a fact of life, push the door to (but not clicked shut) and move on with my life and good friends/adopted family i have here in Canada now.

DandNHill

I have a friend in England who asks occasionally when I'm moving home...she doesn't understand that I am home!

Another has been planning a visit for 5 years now...keeps delaying. Not entirely sure she will ever make it!

scilly

We have one friend who has been to visit once, travelling with a friend who went on to see family in Victoria and then came back here to meet her for the return trip.

She was one of my best friends at university, and also knew OH back then.

That visit was back in about 1996 .......

.......... she has said every year that she would love to come back for another visit.

BUT she hates flying, and doesn't seem able co-ordinate another trip at the same time as the friend she came with before!

She's been divorced almost 30 years, and kids are off, married and with their own families with no interest in accompanying Mum to Canada. After all, they don't know us

Not sure what we do now!

scilly

I'm not at all convinced that is true!

We live within a 10 minute drive of a major international airport .......... hasn't made much difference in the UK ones who visit and those who don't!!

What we have ended up being is the change point for various family members for my sis-i-l and her husband ..................

OH's parents would come for a 3 week visit every couple of years, split their time very carefully between us and sis-i-l in the north ...... that meant about 5 days with us, fly north for 9 or 10 days, and 5 days back with us.

Similarly, OH and sis's cousin and family have arrived here for 1 or 2 nights before going north

Sis-i-l's husband was Swiss ........... over the years we have hosted his parents, his sister and husband, and his brother and partner, 1 or 2 days with us on arriving, and sometimes another 1 or nights at the end of their trip if they could not arrange a flight south that connected with a same-day flight back to Switzerland.


Now that has been interesting, and we have been able to stay with the "family" in Switzerland on a couple of visits there.

But the closeness to the airport hasn't seemed to encourage many other visits ........... it was possibly the reason why the friend mentioned in my post above was able to travel, in addition to her friend who was willing to put up with her incredible anxiety during the flights.


We've had visits from more friends made after we left the UK ............ 1 couple from S Africa have been 3 times a Swiss couple twice, etc. We've also had cousins from Australia more than once!

ann m

Ha ha. We're doing a kitchen renovation right now, and brother in law says "I suppose that means you won't be moving back anytime soon?" Huh? We weren't planning on moving back any time soon

DandNHill

They don't get it!

Same friend lived in the Middle East for many years. For a while hubby got a job in London so they moved back to the U.K. But he went back out there maybe ten years ago and they live separate lives except for trips back for him every few months and visits there for her and the kids.
To me that's not a life... I want to actually live with my husband!

Oink

I think for a lot of people in the UK see moving to Canada as a temporary escape or adventure and they believe that people will eventually get bored or come to their senses and move back home. Most people would see the UK as a more prosperous and dynamic country than Canada so its no wonder they fail to see why anyone would choose to spend the rest of their lives there when they don't have to.

ann m

Thank you for your considered post Oink! 😉

The brother in question cannot tell if Canada is a boring ends-of-the-earth hellhole or a nirvana of beauty because he has never been.

I have never said (to family or in this forum) we would never return to the UK. But for now and the foreseeable future, this is home, and it's nice to feel this settled here after such a rocky and dodgy first few years. So a kitchen reno it is then. 🙂

Howefamily

I have the same feelings as you. Missing your blog updates btw.