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Old Nov 29th 2017, 4:48 am   #1
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Default Returning to What You Know

Curious how many of you were married in the past to a Canadian. Then got divorced and later married an expat or ended up in a long-term relationship with an expat lol. I just did the first part and will remain in Canada for the next 20yrs whatever happens, to be a father to my son. But can't imagine myself marrying another Canadian lol. No need to debate the Canadian part, it's just the one i chose that was the issue. I am thinking more along the lines of familiarity, humor, blah blah all the things we know about that we miss.
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Old Nov 29th 2017, 6:16 am   #2
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Default Re: Returning to What You Know

I married a Canadian, then dated an American, then married another Canadian... (I am from the US so dating an American in Canada is my version of expat..)
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Old Nov 29th 2017, 8:33 am   #3
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I've been very underwhelmed by them.
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Old Nov 29th 2017, 11:26 am   #4
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I think personal attributes (personality, education, class) far out weigh nationality.
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Old Nov 29th 2017, 3:32 pm   #5
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Default Re: Returning to What You Know

Quote:
Originally Posted by stuabroad View Post
...I just did the first part and will remain in Canada for the next 20yrs whatever happens, to be a father to my son. But can't imagine myself marrying another Canadian...
Probably a little restrictive
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Old Nov 29th 2017, 3:40 pm   #6
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Default Re: Returning to What You Know

Quote:
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I think personal attributes (personality, education, class) far out weigh nationality.
I agree...thats what I look for in a partner.

If the potential is there, I think familiarity and humour comes with time, and getting to know each other.
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Old Nov 29th 2017, 3:54 pm   #7
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Default Re: Returning to What You Know

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I agree...thats what I look for in a partner.

If the potential is there, I think familiarity and humour comes with time, and getting to know each other.
You only need to look at the number of failed relationships within a nationality (even within a region) to realise that cultural familiarity does not guarantee compatibility.
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Old Nov 29th 2017, 4:02 pm   #8
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Default Re: Returning to What You Know

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You only need to look at the number of failed relationships within a nationality (even within a region) to realise that cultural familiarity does not guarantee compatibility.
All good points and as I said, i'm not isolating the Canadian aspect as the thing at fault. It coincides with being here 9 years now, missing home really for the first time in years which really means familiarity and family. A break home would probably refreshen me. I'm sure observing the options outside the average chippy at 2am in Manchester, would cause that to go quicker.
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Old Nov 29th 2017, 4:04 pm   #9
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Default Re: Returning to What You Know

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...can't imagine myself marrying another Canadian...
You're ideally placed to make a few bob from someone seeking an avenue into Canada.
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Old Nov 29th 2017, 4:43 pm   #10
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Default Re: Returning to What You Know

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Originally Posted by stuabroad View Post
All good points and as I said, i'm not isolating the Canadian aspect as the thing at fault. It coincides with being here 9 years now, missing home really for the first time in years which really means familiarity and family. A break home would probably refreshen me. I'm sure observing the options outside the average chippy at 2am in Manchester, would cause that to go quicker.
I can empathise with you on that point, your still in an unstable emotional part of your life, thats when you get "homesick"

I too am not in good place in my life at the moment, so I understand where you are coming from with regards to the familiarity of we once called home and family member we miss, it somehow feels comforting to be there again, even though I have been very happy living in Canada for the last 8 and half years.
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Old Nov 29th 2017, 4:50 pm   #11
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Default Re: Returning to What You Know

Marry and expat and date a Canadian, best of all worlds!
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Old Dec 2nd 2017, 9:03 pm   #12
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Default Re: Returning to What You Know

I don’t see how Citizenship/nationality comes into the equation.

- very long-term relationship with a Frenchman who also happened to be Canadian, which is how I originally ended up here (as a pr but not through spousal sponsorship) and finished with a protracted & drawn-out break-up/separation.

- Some time after that, totally randomly, fell into a long-ish term relationship with a Brit expat, who is more Canadian than British.

- single & happy about it now.

Hmmmm, perhaps you DO have a point worth thinking about... .

ETA: a similar education & background might be a factor in the above.
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Old Dec 2nd 2017, 9:57 pm   #13
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I don’t see how Citizenship/nationality comes into the equation.

- very long-term relationship with a Frenchman who also happened to be Canadian, which is how I originally ended up here (as a pr but not through spousal sponsorship) and finished with a protracted & drawn-out break-up/separation.

- Some time after that, totally randomly, fell into a long-ish term relationship with a Brit expat, who is more Canadian than British.

- single & happy about it now.

Hmmmm, perhaps you DO have a point worth thinking about... .

ETA: a similar education & background might be a factor in the above.
I think similar education/background is very important.
I moved back to the U.K. , after growing up in France, with my French husband.
Fast forward 13 years and we separated.
I’m now with a Brit and at times he doesn’t get me at all because of my French upbringing.
I want to listen to old French music but he doesn’t. He also doesn’t have those stupid memories you build up in your childhood/teens.
Other than that he’s perfect 😍
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Old Dec 3rd 2017, 12:44 am   #14
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Default Re: Returning to What You Know

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I think personal attributes (personality, education, class) far out weigh nationality.
Absolutely.
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Originally Posted by BristolUK View Post
Probably a little restrictive
Especially since the OP is planning on living in Canada for the next 20 years.

After my husband of 23 years (Canadian, like me) and I separated I said that the 3 things I would avoid when dating: Older than I am(my ex was 4 years younger), tradie and being British. Well, it seems I hit the trifecta with my current partner. He's not much older - only 6 months, he's a diesel mechanic who up until recently worked in the mines here in Western Australia, and he's from Middlesborough originally. If I had restricted myself to my rather ridiculous criteria then I never would have been in a great relationship with a great guy who makes me laugh every day, and laughs both with and at me every day.

As someone else said, after the breakup of your marriage you're in a bad place emotionally. Homesickness kicks in and it's not easy to see the bigger picture. Give it some time and maybe a visit back to the UK and most importantly take care of yourself.
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Old Dec 3rd 2017, 12:51 am   #15
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Default Re: Returning to What You Know

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Absolutely.


Especially since the OP is planning on living in Canada for the next 20 years.

After my husband of 23 years (Canadian, like me) and I separated I said that the 3 things I would avoid when dating: Older than I am(my ex was 4 years younger), tradie and being British. Well, it seems I hit the trifecta with my current partner. He's not much older - only 6 months, he's a diesel mechanic who up until recently worked in the mines here in Western Australia, and he's from Middlesborough originally. If I had restricted myself to my rather ridiculous criteria then I never would have been in a great relationship with a great guy who makes me laugh every day, and laughs both with and at me every day.

As someone else said, after the breakup of your marriage you're in a bad place emotionally. Homesickness kicks in and it's not easy to see the bigger picture. Give it some time and maybe a visit back to the UK and most importantly take care of yourself.
Love this post for so many reasons
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