Returning to What You Know
#1
Returning to What You Know
Curious how many of you were married in the past to a Canadian. Then got divorced and later married an expat or ended up in a long-term relationship with an expat lol. I just did the first part and will remain in Canada for the next 20yrs whatever happens, to be a father to my son. But can't imagine myself marrying another Canadian lol. No need to debate the Canadian part, it's just the one i chose that was the issue. I am thinking more along the lines of familiarity, humor, blah blah all the things we know about that we miss.
#2
Account Closed
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 0
Re: Returning to What You Know
I married a Canadian, then dated an American, then married another Canadian... (I am from the US so dating an American in Canada is my version of expat..)
#4
Re: Returning to What You Know
I think personal attributes (personality, education, class) far out weigh nationality.
#7
Re: Returning to What You Know
You only need to look at the number of failed relationships within a nationality (even within a region) to realise that cultural familiarity does not guarantee compatibility.
#8
Re: Returning to What You Know
All good points and as I said, i'm not isolating the Canadian aspect as the thing at fault. It coincides with being here 9 years now, missing home really for the first time in years which really means familiarity and family. A break home would probably refreshen me. I'm sure observing the options outside the average chippy at 2am in Manchester, would cause that to go quicker.
#10
Re: Returning to What You Know
All good points and as I said, i'm not isolating the Canadian aspect as the thing at fault. It coincides with being here 9 years now, missing home really for the first time in years which really means familiarity and family. A break home would probably refreshen me. I'm sure observing the options outside the average chippy at 2am in Manchester, would cause that to go quicker.
I too am not in good place in my life at the moment, so I understand where you are coming from with regards to the familiarity of we once called home and family member we miss, it somehow feels comforting to be there again, even though I have been very happy living in Canada for the last 8 and half years.
#11
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 12,830
Re: Returning to What You Know
Marry and expat and date a Canadian, best of all worlds!
#12
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Joined: May 2012
Location: Qc, Canada
Posts: 3,787
Re: Returning to What You Know
I don’t see how Citizenship/nationality comes into the equation.
- very long-term relationship with a Frenchman who also happened to be Canadian, which is how I originally ended up here (as a pr but not through spousal sponsorship) and finished with a protracted & drawn-out break-up/separation.
- Some time after that, totally randomly, fell into a long-ish term relationship with a Brit expat, who is more Canadian than British.
- single & happy about it now.
Hmmmm, perhaps you DO have a point worth thinking about... .
ETA: a similar education & background might be a factor in the above.
- very long-term relationship with a Frenchman who also happened to be Canadian, which is how I originally ended up here (as a pr but not through spousal sponsorship) and finished with a protracted & drawn-out break-up/separation.
- Some time after that, totally randomly, fell into a long-ish term relationship with a Brit expat, who is more Canadian than British.
- single & happy about it now.
Hmmmm, perhaps you DO have a point worth thinking about... .
ETA: a similar education & background might be a factor in the above.
Last edited by Shirtback; Dec 2nd 2017 at 8:06 pm.
#13
Re: Returning to What You Know
I don’t see how Citizenship/nationality comes into the equation.
- very long-term relationship with a Frenchman who also happened to be Canadian, which is how I originally ended up here (as a pr but not through spousal sponsorship) and finished with a protracted & drawn-out break-up/separation.
- Some time after that, totally randomly, fell into a long-ish term relationship with a Brit expat, who is more Canadian than British.
- single & happy about it now.
Hmmmm, perhaps you DO have a point worth thinking about... .
ETA: a similar education & background might be a factor in the above.
- very long-term relationship with a Frenchman who also happened to be Canadian, which is how I originally ended up here (as a pr but not through spousal sponsorship) and finished with a protracted & drawn-out break-up/separation.
- Some time after that, totally randomly, fell into a long-ish term relationship with a Brit expat, who is more Canadian than British.
- single & happy about it now.
Hmmmm, perhaps you DO have a point worth thinking about... .
ETA: a similar education & background might be a factor in the above.
I moved back to the U.K. , after growing up in France, with my French husband.
Fast forward 13 years and we separated.
I’m now with a Brit and at times he doesn’t get me at all because of my French upbringing.
I want to listen to old French music but he doesn’t. He also doesn’t have those stupid memories you build up in your childhood/teens.
Other than that he’s perfect 😍
#14
Re: Returning to What You Know
Especially since the OP is planning on living in Canada for the next 20 years.
After my husband of 23 years (Canadian, like me) and I separated I said that the 3 things I would avoid when dating: Older than I am(my ex was 4 years younger), tradie and being British. Well, it seems I hit the trifecta with my current partner. He's not much older - only 6 months, he's a diesel mechanic who up until recently worked in the mines here in Western Australia, and he's from Middlesborough originally. If I had restricted myself to my rather ridiculous criteria then I never would have been in a great relationship with a great guy who makes me laugh every day, and laughs both with and at me every day.
As someone else said, after the breakup of your marriage you're in a bad place emotionally. Homesickness kicks in and it's not easy to see the bigger picture. Give it some time and maybe a visit back to the UK and most importantly take care of yourself.
#15
Re: Returning to What You Know
Absolutely.
Especially since the OP is planning on living in Canada for the next 20 years.
After my husband of 23 years (Canadian, like me) and I separated I said that the 3 things I would avoid when dating: Older than I am(my ex was 4 years younger), tradie and being British. Well, it seems I hit the trifecta with my current partner. He's not much older - only 6 months, he's a diesel mechanic who up until recently worked in the mines here in Western Australia, and he's from Middlesborough originally. If I had restricted myself to my rather ridiculous criteria then I never would have been in a great relationship with a great guy who makes me laugh every day, and laughs both with and at me every day.
As someone else said, after the breakup of your marriage you're in a bad place emotionally. Homesickness kicks in and it's not easy to see the bigger picture. Give it some time and maybe a visit back to the UK and most importantly take care of yourself.
Especially since the OP is planning on living in Canada for the next 20 years.
After my husband of 23 years (Canadian, like me) and I separated I said that the 3 things I would avoid when dating: Older than I am(my ex was 4 years younger), tradie and being British. Well, it seems I hit the trifecta with my current partner. He's not much older - only 6 months, he's a diesel mechanic who up until recently worked in the mines here in Western Australia, and he's from Middlesborough originally. If I had restricted myself to my rather ridiculous criteria then I never would have been in a great relationship with a great guy who makes me laugh every day, and laughs both with and at me every day.
As someone else said, after the breakup of your marriage you're in a bad place emotionally. Homesickness kicks in and it's not easy to see the bigger picture. Give it some time and maybe a visit back to the UK and most importantly take care of yourself.