Originally Posted by Oink

What about some low key drug dealing? Its Canada you won't get caught and if you do it'll just be a slap on the wrist.

Originally Posted by Jingsamichty

Nothing will come of that. You need to step away from the computer and go and see them, in person.

Originally Posted by Sally Redux

Does anybody really believe that?

Originally Posted by Sally Redux

Premium Maltese

Originally Posted by Sally Redux

Does anybody really believe that?

Originally Posted by prairiechicken

Gozit, if I can be really deep and meaningful for a moment - if there's one piece of advice that I can give you, it is that positivity is not something that is generated outside of you. It really is within you. I'm not saying it is easy to be positive about things that you don't enjoy (like school), but it IS possible. And the key to happiness is not something that's 'out there' in the form of a job, or a different country, or a different set of circumstances. It's actually, fundamentally, about your own attitude.

If you are constantly looking for happiness somewhere outside of yourself, or thinking 'life will be better when I finish school/move/get a job I like, chances are you will always end up disappointed.

So I'd say go for the job at Shoppers. See what you can learn. Go in there telling yourself that no matter how crappy your day is, you're going to smile through it. Don't underestimate the difference you can make to someone'e day just by smiling to them and greeting them nicely at the cashier's desk, and the positive effect that will have on you. You don't 'need' the money, but it will mean you can indulge in more techy stuff that you love. And in the long run, if you've done a great job, you'll get a great reference, which will make it easier for you to get a job you really like in a few years.

One way to help you find the positives in difficult situations is to ask 'What can I learn from this?' If you can learn something, then that's a positive thing. You gain from it anyway, even if it was hard.

Originally Posted by prairiechicken

Negative thinking is a habit. If you are in the habit of seeing the negatives first, you'll never feel positive about anything for very long. But if you can break that habit and train yourself to see the positives in a situation first, you find that eventually positive thinking becomes your habit instead. And that way happiness lies.

How many people move continents, for example, thinking that will make them feel happier, only to find that it isn't the answer they thought it would be?

Originally Posted by Gozit

That's what I was trying to imply in my other post.

Originally Posted by prairiechicken

Ummm. Yes. Me. I have personal experience to back it up. And I know I'm not the only one.

I went through a period of massive negativity in my life. I spent years thinking it was due to something outside of me. I spent years looking for 'answers' and thinking 'things would be different if x was better or y was different'. And when x got better or y was different, I still felt crap.

Life only got better when I was able to change my attitude, and start seeing the positives in things instead of the negatives.

Negative thinking is a habit. If you are in the habit osf seeing the negatives first, you'll never feel positive about anything for very long. But if you can break that habit and train yourself to see the positives in a situation first, you find that eventually positive thinking becomes your habit instead. And that way happiness lies.

How many people move continents, for example, thinking that will make them feel happier, only to find that it isn't the answer they thought it would be?

Originally Posted by Sally Redux

Premium Maltese

Originally Posted by Sally Redux

To some extent.

After 9 years flogging a dead horse I wish I'd given into the negative gut feeling earlier.

Originally Posted by Sally Redux

To some extent.

After 9 years flogging a dead horse I wish I'd given into the negative gut feeling earlier.

Originally Posted by Gozit

Yeah. Whilst I see what prairiechicken is trying to point out, and agree with her to an extent, I don't think that strategy will make Canada a "positive". I still have the desire to move away ... That's also one of the things I want to accomplish with a P/T job - savings to move. Because I don't know whether i'm gonna go to uni or not, I might start a business, I might stay here for another year or two after high school and just save, in order to move and/or travel. So I want a little bit of a backup in terms of savings.

Originally Posted by prairiechicken

There's a difference between wanting to do something because you just want to do it, and wanting to do it because you think that will be the answer to how crap you feel. That's an important distinction.

Originally Posted by prairiechicken

I never said that everything is always fantastic and great and wonderful completely regardless of the situation. Some situations are crappy, of course. And knowing when to quit is important. But accepting that you feel you left it too late, the positive to take from it is that you listened to the negative gut feeling in the end....

Originally Posted by Sally Redux

We often see on here 'X is what you make it'.

We know that's not true. Some places, people and things actually are better than others.

It's true that it's a learning experience though. Some of the effete whining on the Guardian comments, for example, requires a hefty reality check

Originally Posted by Gozit

I agree somewhat. But what if the reason you're feeling so crap, is because of the longing or want to be somewhere, or away from somewhere in my case?

Originally Posted by prairiechicken

OK, well first of all, let's focus on the fact that you're stuck in Canada for now, right? There may be lots of things you don't like about where you are. I DO sympathise with this, I've been there. At round about your age too. And it's really hard not to wish you were somewhere else.

But, if you are stuck there, the best favours you can do yourself, I think, are these:

1) Accept that you are where you are for now. Try not to focus on what you can't control, or on the aspects of life that you don't like right now, and make whatever best of it you can. Whether that is having fun with your techy stuff at home, spending time with friends whose company you really enjoy, or whatever. It may sound like a cliche, but acceptance is huge. I'm not saying 'put up or shut up'. Not at all. Accept that this is how it is FOR NOW, but that you can change it if you also do step 2...