Oink

The problem I find with Christmas hampers that you only eat about half of it as the other half has weird stuff like Persian pickled walnuts with camel cheese or other rubbish.

If you were to design the perfect hamper what would you want in it?

A smoked turkey
Half boneless ham
Smoked salmon. Both cold and hot smoked
Three different chutneys
Stilton
Strong cheddar
Gouda
Pot of Beluga caviar
Little toasted crackers
Christmas cake
Chocolates.

Christmas crackers

Any other essentials to add?

Jingsamichty

Some nice pate

Jellied fruits

Jerseygirl

Bottle of Grand Marnier
Variety of Cadbury's Chocolate
Bottle of Grand Marnier
Marks and Spencer Luxury Christmas Cake
Marks and Spencer Luxury Christmas Pudding
Marks and Spencer Luxury Mince Pies
Bottle of Grand Marnier

Shard

In addition to many of the items mentioned (including the Grand Marnier)...

Serrano ham
Boursin
Ossau Iraty or Gruyere
Oatcakes
Port

haggis88

white chocolate, beer, haggis, black pudding and irn bru

Flogger

Pickled walnuts
White Stilton with cranberries

Greenhill

If fresh stuff is allowed then...

Oysters (alive)
Filet mignon(s)
Snails
Jersey Royals
A little bit of chipped beef
Assorted painkillers, PPIs and gin.
And a nice, properly pickled egg.
And a jar of silver skin onions to go with it.
And some smoked Gouda, too. With a nice bit of ham. And a piece of crusty soft white bread, perhaps from a french stick or similar.
Eggnog, cholesterol meds and rum.
And a partridge in a pear tree.

Oink

So to recap so far. Anything else before we submit our order to Fortnum and Mason?

A smoked turkey
Half boneless ham
Serrano ham
Haggis
Filet mignon(s)
Snails
Smoked salmon. Both cold and hot smoked
Black pudding
Pototos
Pate
Pickled eggs (nice touch btw)
Pickled onions
Three different chutneys

Stilton
Strong cheddar
Gouda
Boursin
Gruyere

Pot of Beluga caviar
Oysters (alive)
Little toasted crackers
Pickled walnuts

Christmas cake
Christmas Pudding
Mince Pies
Oatcakes

Chocolates.
Jellied fruits

Christmas crackers

Grand Marnier
Port
Beer
Irn bru
Eggnog

Flogger

Make sure the chocolates are posh ones like after eights. It is christmas after all

BristolUK

Marmite?


Whisky marmalade.

Geordie George

Hovis crackers
Pickled red cabbage
Gentlemen's relish (no sniggering at the back!)

Greenhill

Given that we're all in Canada, North America, I think a nice touch would be to have a delicious product in the hamper that has significant importance, food culture-wise, to this great nation.

I've been thinking about this a while and, so far, have listed the following:

Piff Poff

I think we need some champers, Drambuie and Tia Maria and a Christmas pud.

Simon Legree

Lobster and scallops maybe.

Greenhill

Not sure why the list appeared unpopulated

I had typed:

• Lobsters
• Scallops
• Tin of mushroom soup