Go Back   British Expats / Living & Moving Abroad / Canada / The Maple Leaf

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old Oct 4th 2017, 11:22 pm   #31
BE Forum Addict
 
Snowy560's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2012
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 2,562
Snowy560 has a reputation beyond reputeSnowy560 has a reputation beyond reputeSnowy560 has a reputation beyond reputeSnowy560 has a reputation beyond reputeSnowy560 has a reputation beyond reputeSnowy560 has a reputation beyond reputeSnowy560 has a reputation beyond reputeSnowy560 has a reputation beyond reputeSnowy560 has a reputation beyond reputeSnowy560 has a reputation beyond reputeSnowy560 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Monitoring your teen

I've never monitored my kids who have had cell phones since age 10 and the internet probably for longer (they're 16 and 20 now).

I just wouldn't have had the energy. I kind of feel you have to teach them to stand on their own feet which is what we've done. The 20 year old is un-monitorable (sp?) she's an adult. The 16 year old doesn't give me any cause for concern. I doubt I could snoop on her or that she would give me access to her phone.

What are you going to do? Open all their physical mail as well as their emails/texts? Get them to tell you about everyone they are meeting? If they feel you are too intrusive, they will just start lying or de friending you on Facebook etc. I'm friends with my kids on FB but never post on their timelines or make comments.
Snowy560 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 4th 2017, 11:57 pm   #32
Muskoka, Ontario
 
Tirytory's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,922
Tirytory has a reputation beyond reputeTirytory has a reputation beyond reputeTirytory has a reputation beyond reputeTirytory has a reputation beyond reputeTirytory has a reputation beyond reputeTirytory has a reputation beyond reputeTirytory has a reputation beyond reputeTirytory has a reputation beyond reputeTirytory has a reputation beyond reputeTirytory has a reputation beyond reputeTirytory has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Monitoring your teen

Quote:
Originally Posted by Siouxie View Post
What does he play it on? Have you disabled online chat (voice and text messaging) on it - or at least restricted it to a specific group of people that you know? Have you disabled the location settings and checked the privacy settings? Have you ensured that he can't 'friend' somene or be 'friended' without your knowledge? Is he participating in chat rooms?

While the games are fun, please be aware games are also often used as a way to 'befriend' youngsters by online trolls, bullies and paedophiles.

I know you say he isn't into social media, but does his friend have an online presence and do they 'do' social media when they are at his friends house? If he is chatting on the PS4 / Nintendo or other games console / online, do you know with who?

I would strongly recommend using some kind of software to monitor his activity.

Youtube doesn't allow under 13's to have accounts, by the way (nor do Facebook and other social media sites), but there is a youtube kids site he could use that is 'child friendly'. https://kids.youtube.com/

Hope that helps a little..

We were aware of all the above but thank you. We don't have Xbox live, and no other online stuff allowed, just two player in the house gaming. It's also the watered down version of the game. Neither does his friend. TBH apart from an hour or two at the weekend, they're just playing basketball or on the trampoline perfecting their back flips.

I know about the over 13 bit, that's why I said he's too young. I don't want to encourage lying when we advocate for the truth so much. The YouTube site for kids is pretty young now... he just uses the older site under our noses so to speak.
__________________
Express Entry Guinea Pigs... Profile submitted 1st February 2015, ITA 7th February, Application for PR submitted 5th March...CELPIP and other forms requested and uploaded May 8th. Medicals passed May 14th.. Eligibility review and background check in progress.

Last edited by Tirytory; Oct 5th 2017 at 12:03 am.
Tirytory is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 5th 2017, 12:45 am   #33
~~*Checksum*~~
Moderator
 
Siouxie's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: SW Ontario
Posts: 12,950
Siouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Monitoring your teen

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tirytory View Post
We were aware of all the above but thank you. We don't have Xbox live, and no other online stuff allowed, just two player in the house gaming. It's also the watered down version of the game. Neither does his friend. TBH apart from an hour or two at the weekend, they're just playing basketball or on the trampoline perfecting their back flips.

I know about the over 13 bit, that's why I said he's too young. I don't want to encourage lying when we advocate for the truth so much. The YouTube site for kids is pretty young now... he just uses the older site under our noses so to speak.
Perfect
__________________
"Checksums are often used to verify data integrity"

http://www.suzisukarma.com/gallery.html .. Share the moments - share the memories - share the love!
Siouxie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 5th 2017, 12:49 am   #34
~~*Checksum*~~
Moderator
 
Siouxie's Avatar
 
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: SW Ontario
Posts: 12,950
Siouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond reputeSiouxie has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Monitoring your teen

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowy560 View Post
I've never monitored my kids who have had cell phones since age 10 and the internet probably for longer (they're 16 and 20 now).

I just wouldn't have had the energy. I kind of feel you have to teach them to stand on their own feet which is what we've done. The 20 year old is un-monitorable (sp?) she's an adult. The 16 year old doesn't give me any cause for concern. I doubt I could snoop on her or that she would give me access to her phone.

What are you going to do? Open all their physical mail as well as their emails/texts? Get them to tell you about everyone they are meeting? If they feel you are too intrusive, they will just start lying or de friending you on Facebook etc. I'm friends with my kids on FB but never post on their timelines or make comments.
That's what monitoring services / software is for - it only alerts you if there is cause for concern (trigger words / pictures etc) - so no need to read anything. As I said before, it's not snooping, it's keeping kids safe in an unsafe cyber world. I suppose because I work in the industry, I'm possibly more aware. Colleagues often tell me of the suicide threats / cyber bullying and sexual content, even on Nintendo and the like.

As for 'tell you who they are meeting' - if they are under 18, absolutely!

__________________
"Checksums are often used to verify data integrity"

http://www.suzisukarma.com/gallery.html .. Share the moments - share the memories - share the love!
Siouxie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 5th 2017, 12:58 am   #35
Muskoka, Ontario
 
Tirytory's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 2,922
Tirytory has a reputation beyond reputeTirytory has a reputation beyond reputeTirytory has a reputation beyond reputeTirytory has a reputation beyond reputeTirytory has a reputation beyond reputeTirytory has a reputation beyond reputeTirytory has a reputation beyond reputeTirytory has a reputation beyond reputeTirytory has a reputation beyond reputeTirytory has a reputation beyond reputeTirytory has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Monitoring your teen

Quote:
Originally Posted by Siouxie View Post
That's what monitoring services / software is for - it only alerts you if there is cause for concern (trigger words / pictures etc) - so no need to read anything. As I said before, it's not snooping, it's keeping kids safe in an unsafe cyber world. I suppose because I work in the industry, I'm possibly more aware. Colleagues often tell me of the suicide threats / cyber bullying and sexual content, even on Nintendo and the like.

As for 'tell you who they are meeting' - if they are under 18, absolutely!


How does it work then? For the future boy who will want to use social medi.
__________________
Express Entry Guinea Pigs... Profile submitted 1st February 2015, ITA 7th February, Application for PR submitted 5th March...CELPIP and other forms requested and uploaded May 8th. Medicals passed May 14th.. Eligibility review and background check in progress.
Tirytory is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 5th 2017, 7:36 am   #36
Tea Drinker
 
Danny B's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Kamloops, BC
Posts: 3,094
Danny B has a reputation beyond reputeDanny B has a reputation beyond reputeDanny B has a reputation beyond reputeDanny B has a reputation beyond reputeDanny B has a reputation beyond reputeDanny B has a reputation beyond reputeDanny B has a reputation beyond reputeDanny B has a reputation beyond reputeDanny B has a reputation beyond reputeDanny B has a reputation beyond reputeDanny B has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Monitoring your teen

Quote:
Originally Posted by Almost Canadian View Post

Like Danny said upthread, I used to get the living shit kicked out of me every day during my teen years at school by larger kids. Not being large until I turned 18, I had to rely upon my smarts to avoid it becoming a big issue and, eventually, I worked out methods to cope. It's called life and one has to experience it otherwise one won't make it out alive.
Well funny you should say that, was browsing the beeb tonight and noticed this article
__________________
A family with the wrong members in control; that, perhaps, is as near as one can come to describing England in a phrase.
Danny B is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 5th 2017, 12:11 pm   #37
dbd33 
Assimilated Pauper
 
dbd33's Avatar
 
Joined: Mar 2005
Location: Ontario
Posts: 35,304
dbd33 has a reputation beyond reputedbd33 has a reputation beyond reputedbd33 has a reputation beyond reputedbd33 has a reputation beyond reputedbd33 has a reputation beyond reputedbd33 has a reputation beyond reputedbd33 has a reputation beyond reputedbd33 has a reputation beyond reputedbd33 has a reputation beyond reputedbd33 has a reputation beyond reputedbd33 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Monitoring your teen

Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowy560 View Post
If they feel you are too intrusive, they will just start lying or de friending you on Facebook etc. I'm friends with my kids on FB but never post on their timelines or make comments.
You don't want to get unfriended. Otherwise, when they grow up and emigrate, you'll have no idea what they're doing.

One of mine, who's not much of a facebook user and who doesn't instagram at all(!), WhatsApp'd me some pictures last night. "Where are you?" I wondered, seeing snow and thinking she was in Milan. "Still in Iceland". Oh.
dbd33 is online now   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 5th 2017, 2:19 pm   #38
bats 
limey party pooper
 
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 8,158
bats has a reputation beyond reputebats has a reputation beyond reputebats has a reputation beyond reputebats has a reputation beyond reputebats has a reputation beyond reputebats has a reputation beyond reputebats has a reputation beyond reputebats has a reputation beyond reputebats has a reputation beyond reputebats has a reputation beyond reputebats has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Monitoring your teen

There's no need to defriend parents or whoever you don't want to see your posts. Just set up friends groups and only post to them. I have about 200 Facebook friends but only 20 or so routinely see my posts unless I change the audience for a wider group.
bats is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 5th 2017, 3:17 pm   #39
Shard Male
F.orum Ape
 
Shard's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 12,894
Shard has a reputation beyond reputeShard has a reputation beyond reputeShard has a reputation beyond reputeShard has a reputation beyond reputeShard has a reputation beyond reputeShard has a reputation beyond reputeShard has a reputation beyond reputeShard has a reputation beyond reputeShard has a reputation beyond reputeShard has a reputation beyond reputeShard has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Monitoring your teen

Quote:
Originally Posted by Almost Canadian View Post

I am not attempting to justify bullying at all but people need to accept that, if they chose to use social media, there is a chance that they will be bullied and either avoid it, or accept that it will happen. Wrapping themselves in cotton wool isn't going to effectively counter Hobbes's view of nature.
Not sure what Hobbes has to do with any of this. Taking standard precautionary measures on the internet is hardly cotton wool wrapping. Once again, it comes down to this apparently bizarre idea of people having different capabilities and different minds.
Shard is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 5th 2017, 3:54 pm   #40
Manui Dat Cognitio Vires
 
Almost Canadian's Avatar
 
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: South of Calgary
Posts: 12,008
Almost Canadian has a reputation beyond reputeAlmost Canadian has a reputation beyond reputeAlmost Canadian has a reputation beyond reputeAlmost Canadian has a reputation beyond reputeAlmost Canadian has a reputation beyond reputeAlmost Canadian has a reputation beyond reputeAlmost Canadian has a reputation beyond reputeAlmost Canadian has a reputation beyond reputeAlmost Canadian has a reputation beyond reputeAlmost Canadian has a reputation beyond reputeAlmost Canadian has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Monitoring your teen

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shard View Post
Not sure what Hobbes has to do with any of this. Taking standard precautionary measures on the internet is hardly cotton wool wrapping. Once again, it comes down to this apparently bizarre idea of people having different capabilities and different minds.
You raised that in your post #30, not me.

Not quoting my entire (deleted) post doesn't give context to what I said in the remainder of the post.
__________________
Don't argue with an idiot - they will drag you down to their level and will beat you with experience!
Almost Canadian is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Oct 7th 2017, 3:59 pm   #41
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: May 2012
Location: Qc, Canada
Posts: 3,691
Shirtback has a reputation beyond reputeShirtback has a reputation beyond reputeShirtback has a reputation beyond reputeShirtback has a reputation beyond reputeShirtback has a reputation beyond reputeShirtback has a reputation beyond reputeShirtback has a reputation beyond reputeShirtback has a reputation beyond reputeShirtback has a reputation beyond reputeShirtback has a reputation beyond reputeShirtback has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Monitoring your teen

Hmm. I’ve written about this here before (I think?).

Looking back from the lofty heights of a parent of now-adults, I’d say the child we monitored (tried to control social media access/interaction) the most*, was the one who rebelled/found the sneakiest ways to avoid monitoring. And was the one who got into the most trouble.

I never used a keylogger/similar security on my children.

Without piling on, I do think that a parent who thinks a young teen/tween/whatever one calls them these days who doesn’t have a cellphone doesn’t have access to (and possibly their own accounts) SM is being naive.

I’m not sure what my point is . I’d agree with those who have posted talk, talk, talk some more with your offspring; and try and make sure you know their friends - not just on the internet, but in person too.

*There were some very hairy and not-very-nice episodes that I wouldn’t wish on any parent, or child. However, I’m not sure what we could have done differently *at the time* .
__________________
Chronic expat
Shirtback is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply

Go Back   British Expats / Living & Moving Abroad / Canada / The Maple Leaf


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT. The time now is 7:01 pm.


Powered by vBulletin: ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
© 1999-2010 BritishExpats.com