GavinR

MIL is still refusing to visit after 6 years

Judy in Calgary

Hi Gaynor,

Sorry to hear you're feeling gutted.

I recommend you go to this website, scroll down a bit, and watch the 15-Minute Miracle video by Joe Vitale. (You can find it on a variety of websites if you do a Google search for 15 MINUTE MIRACLE + JOE VITALE.)

I'm willing to bet that, if you make the 4 statements several times a day, every day, the situation will resolve itself in time. Your mother will agree to come for a visit, she won't agree but you'll stop worrying about it, or some other solution will emerge. I truly believe that.
x

Arris

Oh Gaynor,

I'm sorry to hear how your feeling & why

I can't offer any ideas to you but i'm thinking of you & hope your Mum soon sees the light & comes over to see you all

burton bunch

Give me a ring when you are settled x

Hiya Charlie - have done the above - her response is she isnt ready even tho I broke my heart with her

My mom has been numerous times to the town where I live and my step dad would travel with her

Believe it I tried all of the above on Sunday whilst crying and sobbing

burton bunch

Hey Ann

Would be swinging from a church spire if that one was the case

Hi Judy

Thanks for that one hun - will check it out later at home

Thanks to everyone but I seem to be flogging a dead horse as we say in UK.

As an update it was her birthday yesterday so my aunt here in town rang and had the same discussion with her and laid it on the line "Your daughter and grandbabies NEED to see you" - so we will see how that works for her.

Gaynor
xxc

Littletashy

Well thats just rubbish, maybe instead of tears try very hard to keep it together and tell her only the good bits even if you exagerate them, if she thinks your sad, she might be expecting it not to last and then go home, but if you tell her how happy you are all the time even if its not quite true, she might think shes missing out?

I am very sad for you, and really hope you can find a resolution soon.

Take care and try to stay positive

Yoong

How about acknowledging to your mum the feelings of sadness you both
will feel when it is time to say goodbye .However, gently reinforce
that it is the present moment which is precious and you would like
to see her and your step dad again.
Hope things will work out for you Gaynor.
Yoong

fuschiagirl

Hi Gaynor

I haven't any brilliant suggestions BUT I think your aunt's phone call might do the trick

Keeping my finger crossed for you.

Jo

xx

purple80

Top tip Ann M I like it!

Gaynor,
I have nothing to add that has not been said by me previously and countless others, I know she is your mum, but I think she is being unfair, don't let it get you down.....

More {{{{hugs}}}} and karma sent. (After lots of frantic spreading!).

Charlie

P.S. All your previous advice re Chris going is turning out true, would PM you but really don't want to add my woes to yours!

Speak soon...

Lisa_W

Hi Gaynor

Just seen this thread. Sorry your mum is still saying she won't come out. I would only echo what others have said - get her to book to come out and then maybe you book to go back there at some point afterwards (which is what we have done - my parents are coming over here in the summer and we have booked to go back for Christmas). Or get her to book her next trip as soon as she gets back. Then it will give her something to look forward to when she leaves.

I hope it does resolve itself for all your sakes.

I can't believe it is now nine months since we got on that plane at Manchester!!!!! It has gone quick - and I have survived the winter!!!

Lisa x

Flossie and Jim

Hiya BB

We never expected either set of parents to come and visit. My mum and dad haven't flown for over 40 years (and I think they are secretly scared of flying), so we forced the issue by blowing all our Air Canada Aeroplan points that we have saved up over the last seven years on two business class tickets for them to come out for the Stampede in July! They are actually quite looking forward to it now as when we see them on the webcam, my mum is showing me pictures of places she wants to visit in the touirst leaflets!

So that's one set of parents to tick off. The others (Jim's) may not be so easy. His Dad refuses point blank and uses every excuse not to come over and his mum won't come on her own. They are retired and don't do much but somehow are always 'too busy' to come over!

We are now putting all our spending on our Aeroplan credit card to see if we can do the same for Jim's parents.....

(we'll see)

Hope you find a solution soon!

All the best
Flossie

burton bunch

Charlie you can always PM me for sure - someone elses woes certainly take my mind off things


I know doesnt seem possible Lisa

Gaynor

x

newshoney

Dear Gaynor - maybe you will never change her mind. Maybe the only solution will be for you guys to go visit her when you have the chance and finances allow.

I read your pre-move saga so it's hard not to sound a bit judgemental about your mother but all the evidence so far is that she doesn't put you, your feelings, or her grandchildren above her own needs - and so it seems unlikely your tears will move her.

If you can't change her mind, the only thing you can change is the way you react to the situation. Positive thinking (as Judy recommends) or even just 'psyching' yourself not to mind so much so that you can devise Plan B. Good luck.

burton bunch

UPDATE :::


Well the auntie phone call to tell mom that she had to come really worked.

She flies in Jun 29th for 4 weeks - 10 weeks and 5 days and counting


Gaynor

Littletashy

That is fantastic news, congratulations