Homesick in Vancouver
#1
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 7
Homesick in Vancouver
Hi,
I came to Canada to visit my aunt last year, I met a guy and we dated he visited me in the U.K. a couple of times and he convinced me to move back to Vancouver. In June I arrived and at first it was okay, I was excited. We are now married and I’m in the process of applying for my PR, but all I can think of is home. He wants me to give it a year here but I honestly don’t know if I can. I think I was doing okay at first because it felt more like a holiday but now I’ve been here 4 months. I just want to go home, I’m really close to my family back home and life without them is hard, Especially my nieces.
I thought I’d like it here, I have all the times I’ve visited but maybe that was because I knew I’d always be going home. My husband works longs hours and most of the time I’m alone as my aunt works too. I can’t work so I feel isolated, I don’t leave the house some days. I’ve always found it hard to make friends as I’m shy and suffer with anxiety but here my anxiety is worse, I feel alien. When I do make it out of the house it’s to the supermarket or to pick my husband up from work. I’m never out there long. I’m totally out of my comfort zone and I’ve told him but he insists I give it a year even though I’m extremely unhappy. Have I just not given it long enough?
My husband has lived in a few different countries and never found it hard, he’s very outgoing and just gets stressed when I’m upset. It’s like he doesn’t understand. What do I do?
I came to Canada to visit my aunt last year, I met a guy and we dated he visited me in the U.K. a couple of times and he convinced me to move back to Vancouver. In June I arrived and at first it was okay, I was excited. We are now married and I’m in the process of applying for my PR, but all I can think of is home. He wants me to give it a year here but I honestly don’t know if I can. I think I was doing okay at first because it felt more like a holiday but now I’ve been here 4 months. I just want to go home, I’m really close to my family back home and life without them is hard, Especially my nieces.
I thought I’d like it here, I have all the times I’ve visited but maybe that was because I knew I’d always be going home. My husband works longs hours and most of the time I’m alone as my aunt works too. I can’t work so I feel isolated, I don’t leave the house some days. I’ve always found it hard to make friends as I’m shy and suffer with anxiety but here my anxiety is worse, I feel alien. When I do make it out of the house it’s to the supermarket or to pick my husband up from work. I’m never out there long. I’m totally out of my comfort zone and I’ve told him but he insists I give it a year even though I’m extremely unhappy. Have I just not given it long enough?
My husband has lived in a few different countries and never found it hard, he’s very outgoing and just gets stressed when I’m upset. It’s like he doesn’t understand. What do I do?
#3
Re: Homesick in Vancouver
Or if not able to work legally yet, something voluntary?
Can hubby reduce his hours?
Can hubby reduce his hours?
#4
Re: Homesick in Vancouver
Good luck JordyT, if I knew an easy answer I'd tell you. It's easy to say get out more, so I will. Walks are good in Vancouver, take some and don't worry about being shy, you don't have to talk to anyone. Try keeping a log book of your thoughts then transform it into a best-selling novel and become moderately wealthy in the process. That would cheer me up.
#5
Just Joined
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 7
Re: Homesick in Vancouver
Thanks everyone for the replies. I guess volunteering might help as it would get me out. When my open work permit comes through the voluntary work would get me a reference for a paid job
#6
Re: Homesick in Vancouver
Post something similar to this Vancouver sub reddit and check the responses. There are lots of people in your situation who would love to meet new friends.
Who knows, maybe a bunch of you can all get together and hang out.
I can't speak for everyone but most people make friends from School, work, having a child, owning a dog, going to a hobby (gym, yoga etc) or more recently, meeting people online.
Good luck
Who knows, maybe a bunch of you can all get together and hang out.
I can't speak for everyone but most people make friends from School, work, having a child, owning a dog, going to a hobby (gym, yoga etc) or more recently, meeting people online.
Good luck
#7
Re: Homesick in Vancouver
Sounds like you were a bit impulsive on one thing or another. Maybe you should try going back to the UK a few times and see if you really do want to be back or not? If you haven't moved much, and it wasn't your motivation, the initial move can be hard. It's not ideal to be beating yourself up about the move, and struggling to make it work, if it was indeed the wrong choice. It would be good for you to clarify that. Obviously it's complicated by not only a relationship, but a marriage, however it was a mutual decision and a mutual issue. It could be that with some trips back home you start to see Vancouver as an alternative rather than an isolation or it could confirm your feelings. There have been people on this site that went with a partner, couldn't hack the move, and after some years of turmoil, moved back. Not ideal, and probably not what you want to hear, but just saying that happens too.
#8
Re: Homesick in Vancouver
Maybe take a look at the YMCA and YWCA, do they have any groups or events that you could join? Volunteering (if allowed, I am unsure of the restrictions), I did a learn to run class a while ago and met some great people! Or look at Meet Up Groups in your area?