Having a word with the kids...
Sep 14th 2014, 4:41 am
#31
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Aug 2013
Location: Maple Ridge, Super Natural British Columbia
Posts: 2,071
Re: Having a word with the kids...
Having a word with the kids...
I though that was a similar euphemism to 'Dropping the kids off at the pool'
I though that was a similar euphemism to 'Dropping the kids off at the pool'
Sep 14th 2014, 11:58 am
#32
Resident Maple Leaf Lush
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 1,745
Re: Having a word with the kids...
Moving to another country on your own can be difficult enough, add in a partner it can be complicated. Add kids into the mix, and, depending on their ages, it can add a further element of "excitement" to things.
It also depends on why you are moving. Some could say you're being selfish and *you* want to change, and that could be true. If however you had a chance to move somewhere else for your dream job, one that you have longed for, and there are some great benefits, socially and finically, then would you risk everything to do it?
I have a good friend who was in a position like this. They are extremely skilled at what they do, and really enjoy it (coding Mac and iOS software), and they had the opportunity to work for Apple doing just that, essentially their dream job and something they have been thinking about doing for some time, and have applied and been accepted a few times in the past (one being a time when Apple head-hunted them) but could not take the position. This one final time they were able to do it. It wasn't an easy decision, but it was one the family saw made sense, and would set them up for a very good life, more than they would have here in Canada. The kids are at the age where they probably see it as just another big adventure, and to some extent I'm sure my friend did too.
As for the job, oh, it was just working on part of the software for the Apple Watch, so nothing overly important
It also depends on why you are moving. Some could say you're being selfish and *you* want to change, and that could be true. If however you had a chance to move somewhere else for your dream job, one that you have longed for, and there are some great benefits, socially and finically, then would you risk everything to do it?
I have a good friend who was in a position like this. They are extremely skilled at what they do, and really enjoy it (coding Mac and iOS software), and they had the opportunity to work for Apple doing just that, essentially their dream job and something they have been thinking about doing for some time, and have applied and been accepted a few times in the past (one being a time when Apple head-hunted them) but could not take the position. This one final time they were able to do it. It wasn't an easy decision, but it was one the family saw made sense, and would set them up for a very good life, more than they would have here in Canada. The kids are at the age where they probably see it as just another big adventure, and to some extent I'm sure my friend did too.
As for the job, oh, it was just working on part of the software for the Apple Watch, so nothing overly important
Sep 14th 2014, 12:18 pm
#33
Lowering the tone
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Here and there
Posts: 7,349
Re: Having a word with the kids...
Mm. Sounds like me. I don't necessarily blame my parents for "taking" me here, because I, and they, were born here. I have the extremely lucky opportunity of being a dual citizen with Malta, and therefore the EU. My mum blames the place itself. I love it there [in Malta], the sea, the beaches, the weather, the people... I consider it home, for now. I don't call Canada home because i don't like it here. I cope, and the 5 months where the weather is bearable is the best and i seem somewhat happy during that time. My nana and nanu live in Malta and I try to go back as much as I can to visit. I do want to move there in the future, or failing that maybe the UK or elsewhere in the EU.
I hate the winter here, makes me miserable, so has the bloody weather we've had the last week. Wearing jeans early September wasn't on my to-do list.
If your son is 18 and wants to go home tell him to do so. If I am homesick enough at the time and just fed up then i'll be doing the same, careless or not.
Back to the original point. Given my views advocating peaceful parenting, if I was emigrating with a child I would involve them in as much of the decision that I could, and depending on the circumstance, if after about 2 years the child was as I am, I would bring him/her home.
The thing is with you adult expats is if you get homesick, you can go
for a quick visit to cure it, or if its bad, you can plan a move back. I can't. I don't have that option. At best, its "less than 3 years until I can bugger off if I so choose" , at worst I feel stuck and I have no idea what to do.
Well, how does he actually feel? Does he want to go to Canada, or is he happy in the UK and pissed at you for making him go? If he doesn't like cold weather, tell him he's in for a ****ing world of it.
Like I said, if after about 2 years, my child was as unhappy as I am, I would bring him/her home if the circumstances allowed.
I hate the winter here, makes me miserable, so has the bloody weather we've had the last week. Wearing jeans early September wasn't on my to-do list.
If your son is 18 and wants to go home tell him to do so. If I am homesick enough at the time and just fed up then i'll be doing the same, careless or not.
Back to the original point. Given my views advocating peaceful parenting, if I was emigrating with a child I would involve them in as much of the decision that I could, and depending on the circumstance, if after about 2 years the child was as I am, I would bring him/her home.
The thing is with you adult expats is if you get homesick, you can go
for a quick visit to cure it, or if its bad, you can plan a move back. I can't. I don't have that option. At best, its "less than 3 years until I can bugger off if I so choose" , at worst I feel stuck and I have no idea what to do.
Well, how does he actually feel? Does he want to go to Canada, or is he happy in the UK and pissed at you for making him go? If he doesn't like cold weather, tell him he's in for a ****ing world of it.
Like I said, if after about 2 years, my child was as unhappy as I am, I would bring him/her home if the circumstances allowed.
Things posted on the internet stay there forever - so don't go telling folks what you'll do when you're a parent. The only thing I can guarantee is that things 15 year-olds think they will do as parents are not things that anyone actually does when they're parents, unless they are 15 year-old parents, and that usually doesn't turn out too well without real grownups around.
Sep 14th 2014, 12:44 pm
#34
Muskoka, Ontario
Joined: Aug 2013
Posts: 3,045
Re: Having a word with the kids...
Gozit, I know you're only 15 so you get a lot more slack on here than you would if you were an adult, but here's a bit of advice:
Things posted on the internet stay there forever - so don't go telling folks what you'll do when you're a parent. The only thing I can guarantee is that things 15 year-olds think they will do as parents are not things that anyone actually does when they're parents, unless they are 15 year-old parents, and that usually doesn't turn out too well without real grownups around.
Things posted on the internet stay there forever - so don't go telling folks what you'll do when you're a parent. The only thing I can guarantee is that things 15 year-olds think they will do as parents are not things that anyone actually does when they're parents, unless they are 15 year-old parents, and that usually doesn't turn out too well without real grownups around.
Sep 14th 2014, 3:26 pm
#35
Dive Bar Drunk
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Toronto
Posts: 8,649
Re: Having a word with the kids...
It depends if you want your kids to remember you as having given them a miserable childhood when they are older.
At least they are less likely to repeat your irresponsible mistakes.
At least they are less likely to repeat your irresponsible mistakes.
Sep 14th 2014, 6:20 pm
#36
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2013
Location: SW Ontario, Canada
Posts: 6,960
Re: Having a word with the kids...
I have a very not-miserable childhood with the exception of the country its in; but i'm very fortunate for what I've got so this doesn't apply to me. But was the point I was trying to get across.
Sep 14th 2014, 6:21 pm
#37
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2013
Location: SW Ontario, Canada
Posts: 6,960
Re: Having a word with the kids...
Gozit, I know you're only 15 so you get a lot more slack on here than you would if you were an adult, but here's a bit of advice:
Things posted on the internet stay there forever - so don't go telling folks what you'll do when you're a parent. The only thing I can guarantee is that things 15 year-olds think they will do as parents are not things that anyone actually does when they're parents, unless they are 15 year-old parents, and that usually doesn't turn out too well without real grownups around.
Things posted on the internet stay there forever - so don't go telling folks what you'll do when you're a parent. The only thing I can guarantee is that things 15 year-olds think they will do as parents are not things that anyone actually does when they're parents, unless they are 15 year-old parents, and that usually doesn't turn out too well without real grownups around.
Sep 14th 2014, 6:35 pm
#39
Yo
Thread Starter
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 24,474
Re: Having a word with the kids...
It could be that the country a child happens to be in is immaterial to the child's happiness or misery. (War and famine zones excluded, obviously.) In general children just get on with life and are not bothered about weather or surroundings in the way that adults are.
Sep 14th 2014, 6:47 pm
#41
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2013
Location: SW Ontario, Canada
Posts: 6,960
Re: Having a word with the kids...
Most of my peers...
(Man do I feel sorry for some of their kids.)
That may be applicable in MOST cases, but most certainly not mine. I have no plans to spend my adult life here, like I said in my above post I most certainly don't like it here but I get on with it and i'm thankful that my parents are fairly well off and I have a good childhood life.
I think if you take a child 11 or above out of their surroundings; good friends - if they ENJOY their surroundings - they won't like it and won't settle in well in the new country. Especially if they don't WANT to leave the UK.
On the other hand, if my parents told me "Dad got a job offer to be a surgeon in Dubai/London/Paris/Rome/<insert name of cool country here>" i'd be happy to leave my current school. There's only really one friend i'd miss, the rest i'm not all that close with. But i'm not the typical teenager with a bumbling social life. (and i'm just fine with that, tbh)
(Man do I feel sorry for some of their kids.)I think if you take a child 11 or above out of their surroundings; good friends - if they ENJOY their surroundings - they won't like it and won't settle in well in the new country. Especially if they don't WANT to leave the UK.
On the other hand, if my parents told me "Dad got a job offer to be a surgeon in Dubai/London/Paris/Rome/<insert name of cool country here>" i'd be happy to leave my current school. There's only really one friend i'd miss, the rest i'm not all that close with. But i'm not the typical teenager with a bumbling social life. (and i'm just fine with that, tbh)
