Excerpts from a dog's and a cat's diary...
Jul 31st 2006, 5:39 am
#1
Thread Starter
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 7,715
Excerpts from a dog's and a cat's diary...
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
8 AM--Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9:30 AM--Oh, boy! A car ride! My favourite!
9:40 AM--Oh, boy! A walk! My favourite!
10:30 AM--Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favourite!
11:30 AM--Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite!
12 Noon--Oh, boy! The kids! My favourite!
1 PM--Oh, boy! The yard! My favourite!
4 PM--Oh, boy! To the park! My favourite!
5:30 PM--Oh, boy! Pretty mums! My favourite!
6 PM--Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
6:30 PM--Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favourite!
8:30 PM--Oh, boy! Sleeping in my master's bed! My favourite!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
Day 183 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry, hard cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild scolding I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs!
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.
8 AM--Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9:30 AM--Oh, boy! A car ride! My favourite!
9:40 AM--Oh, boy! A walk! My favourite!
10:30 AM--Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favourite!
11:30 AM--Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite!
12 Noon--Oh, boy! The kids! My favourite!
1 PM--Oh, boy! The yard! My favourite!
4 PM--Oh, boy! To the park! My favourite!
5:30 PM--Oh, boy! Pretty mums! My favourite!
6 PM--Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
6:30 PM--Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favourite!
8:30 PM--Oh, boy! Sleeping in my master's bed! My favourite!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
Day 183 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry, hard cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild scolding I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs!
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.
Jul 31st 2006, 5:55 am
#2
Now on Vancouver Island
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Nanaimo, British Columbia, Canada
Posts: 6,935
Re: Excerpts from a dog's and a cat's diary...
That was hilarious. Loved it.
As the saying goes, dogs have masters while cats have staff.
As the saying goes, dogs have masters while cats have staff.
Jul 31st 2006, 1:39 pm
#3
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: back in UK
Posts: 1,265
Re: Excerpts from a dog's and a cat's diary...
Originally Posted by hot wasabi peas
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY:
8 AM--Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9:30 AM--Oh, boy! A car ride! My favourite!
9:40 AM--Oh, boy! A walk! My favourite!
10:30 AM--Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favourite!
11:30 AM--Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite!
12 Noon--Oh, boy! The kids! My favourite!
1 PM--Oh, boy! The yard! My favourite!
4 PM--Oh, boy! To the park! My favourite!
5:30 PM--Oh, boy! Pretty mums! My favourite!
6 PM--Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
6:30 PM--Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favourite!
8:30 PM--Oh, boy! Sleeping in my master's bed! My favourite!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
Day 183 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry, hard cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild scolding I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs!
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.
8 AM--Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite!
9:30 AM--Oh, boy! A car ride! My favourite!
9:40 AM--Oh, boy! A walk! My favourite!
10:30 AM--Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My favourite!
11:30 AM--Oh, boy! Dog food! My favourite!
12 Noon--Oh, boy! The kids! My favourite!
1 PM--Oh, boy! The yard! My favourite!
4 PM--Oh, boy! To the park! My favourite!
5:30 PM--Oh, boy! Pretty mums! My favourite!
6 PM--Oh, boy! Playing ball! My favourite!
6:30 PM--Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My favourite!
8:30 PM--Oh, boy! Sleeping in my master's bed! My favourite!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
Day 183 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry, hard cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild scolding I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs!
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.
Bliss absolute bliss
, have to keep an eye on our cat - it brought a pigeon to the door the other day, obviously its working it way upto humans :scared: :scared:
Jul 31st 2006, 7:23 pm
#4
Will work for shoes.....
Joined: Jan 2006
Location: Calgary
Posts: 390
Re: Excerpts from a dog's and a cat's diary...
Originally Posted by hot wasabi peas
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY:
Day 183 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry, hard cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild scolding I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs!
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair; must try this on their bed.
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was.
