Crap jokes
#77
Lloydminster AB
Joined: Dec 2006
Location: Alberta
Posts: 2,059
Re: Crap jokes
oops done it again.me and my big gob(sorry)
#78
Re: Crap jokes
[QUOTE=hcastles;4369529]This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School (California) QUOTE]
Thanks for this reminded me of my last job! in my local secondary school
Have just emailed it to the school for suggestion at next staff briefing should make them laugh.
Thanks for this reminded me of my last job! in my local secondary school
Have just emailed it to the school for suggestion at next staff briefing should make them laugh.
#80
Lloydminster AB
Joined: Dec 2006
Location: Alberta
Posts: 2,059
Re: Crap jokes
okay,lets keep it to non racist and get back to norm,so lets hope this works.
notice seen in a field in a field in the north of scotland
the farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free
but the bull charges
notice seen in a field in a field in the north of scotland
the farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free
but the bull charges
#81
Banned
Joined: Dec 2005
Location: In Limbo
Posts: 15,706
Re: Crap jokes
I'm personally not offended.
I just wonder if its wise to post what are at the end of the day racist jokes on a forum where you dont the ethnic origin of other posters (I know there are non-white posters past and present).
Feel free to tell anti-Prestonian jokes at your will though. (erm I am the only one from preston arent I????)
I just wonder if its wise to post what are at the end of the day racist jokes on a forum where you dont the ethnic origin of other posters (I know there are non-white posters past and present).
Feel free to tell anti-Prestonian jokes at your will though. (erm I am the only one from preston arent I????)
#82
Re: Crap jokes
...about or Miton Keynes. Don't hail from here, but already used to the ribbing......
When you're a petite buxom blonde called Sharon, you develop a thick skin.
(Not fishing for sympathy.....sniff).
When you're a petite buxom blonde called Sharon, you develop a thick skin.
(Not fishing for sympathy.....sniff).
#83
Lloydminster AB
Joined: Dec 2006
Location: Alberta
Posts: 2,059
Re: Crap jokes
no your right,I do tend to stuff up a lot.so your right
(JUST CALL ME MOTOR MOUTH)
(JUST CALL ME MOTOR MOUTH)
#84
Re: Crap jokes
Two blondes walk into a bar .................
You'd have thought one of them would have seen it
You'd have thought one of them would have seen it
#85
Re: Crap jokes
A Man kills a dear and takes it home to feed his family, but doesn't tell the kids what it is.
He says he'll give them a clue "It's what Mummy sometimes calls me"
The little girl screams and goes into hysterics
"No one eat it!" She screams....................
Its a "Fu**ing As*hole!!!"
He says he'll give them a clue "It's what Mummy sometimes calls me"
The little girl screams and goes into hysterics
"No one eat it!" She screams....................
Its a "Fu**ing As*hole!!!"
#86
Re: Crap jokes
ok...
what have david seamen and george micheal got in common???
They both have seamne on their backs!!!!
what have david seamen and george micheal got in common???
They both have seamne on their backs!!!!
#87
Re: Crap jokes as it's Friday
Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that patrolled the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm bored and frustrated at being a prawn, I wish I was a shark, then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten..."
As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a mysterious cod appears and says, "Your wish is granted", and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.
Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time went on (as it invariably does...) and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them.
Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
While out swimming alone one day he sees the mysterious cod again and can't believe his luck.
Justin figured that the fish could change him back into a prawn. He begs the cod to change him back so, lo and behold, he is turned back into a prawn.
With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail.
(The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse).
Looking around the gathering at the reef, he searched for his old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home, distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark", came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's house. As he opened the coral gate the memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again."
Christian replied "No way man, you'll eat me. You're a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked."
Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me.
I've changed.".....................
.............................................
..............................................
"I found Cod. I'm a prawn again Christian"
As Justin had his mind firmly on becoming a predator, a mysterious cod appears and says, "Your wish is granted", and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark.
Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.
Time went on (as it invariably does...) and Justin found himself becoming bored and lonely as a shark. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them.
Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight.
While out swimming alone one day he sees the mysterious cod again and can't believe his luck.
Justin figured that the fish could change him back into a prawn. He begs the cod to change him back so, lo and behold, he is turned back into a prawn.
With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes, Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail.
(The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse).
Looking around the gathering at the reef, he searched for his old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home, distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark", came the reply.
Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's house. As he opened the coral gate the memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again."
Christian replied "No way man, you'll eat me. You're a shark, the enemy and I'll not be tricked."
Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me.
I've changed.".....................
.............................................
..............................................
"I found Cod. I'm a prawn again Christian"
#88
Just Joined
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 26
Re: Crap jokes
Okay now for a real cringer guys amd galls (sorry if it's already posted, haven't had a chance to read them all!)
Two old dears out walking in the park and a guy with a raincoat comes up to them, open the raincoat and flashes them. One of the old dears has a stroke.......................the other couldn't reach !!!!
Have a great weekend!!
Two old dears out walking in the park and a guy with a raincoat comes up to them, open the raincoat and flashes them. One of the old dears has a stroke.......................the other couldn't reach !!!!
Have a great weekend!!
#89
Forum Regular
Joined: Apr 2006
Location: BC
Posts: 295
Re: Crap jokes
Little Johnny has a new $300 mountain bike. When his dad asks him where he got the money to buy such a lovely, expensive bike, he replies. "I got the money from hiking, dad."
"Hiking? How the heck does that help you make money?"
"Well, each day you're at work, Uncle George comes over, takes mummy upstairs for an hour and gives me $20 to 'Take a hike'".
"Hiking? How the heck does that help you make money?"
"Well, each day you're at work, Uncle George comes over, takes mummy upstairs for an hour and gives me $20 to 'Take a hike'".
#90
Banned
Joined: Dec 2005
Location: In Limbo
Posts: 15,706
Re: Crap jokes
The room was full of pregnant women and their partners, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"
The room got really quiet.
Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.
"Yes?" replied the teacher.
"Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"
The teacher then announced, "Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"
The room got really quiet.
Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.
"Yes?" replied the teacher.
"Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"