DAVIE_MAC

Knock Knock

Who's There

Biggish

Biggish Who

Err No thanks mate not today

Auld Yin

FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

Lorna_D

Gremmie

2 nuns sat in the bath tub, 'one says wears the soap' the other replied ' yes it does'

Confusous says,"women who cooks greens and peas in same pot,very unhygenic"

Lorna_D

Bored are we

Harrypottermouse

Man is lying on the gurney in the anesthetic room and has the mask on his face says something to the nurse.

She duly pulls down the sheets picks up his testicles gives them a good examination puts them down and covers him up again. She goes back to the head end and says, no sir its ok your testicles are not black.

The man with a smile removes the mask and says nurse will you listen to me, I said are my test results back!

flashman

Credit Crisis in Japanese Banks!!

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on banks in Europe, the uncertainty has now hit Japan.

In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches.

Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song.

Today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived.

While Samurai Bank fell on its sword, Ninja Bank is reported to have taken a hit but remains in the black.

Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

Auld Yin

1)A woman goes to her doctor's office,to discuss a strange development. She has discovered a green spot on the inside of each thigh. They won't wash off, they won't scrape off, and they seem to be getting worse.
The doctor assures her he'll get to the bottom of the problem, and tells her not to worry until he gets the tests back.
A few days later, the woman's phone rings. Much to her relief, it's the doctor.
She immediately begs to know what's causing the spots.
The doctor says, "You're perfectly healthy--there's no problem. But I'm wondering, is your boyfriend a Harley guy?"
The woman stammers, "Why, Yes, but how did you know?"
"Tell him his earrings aren't real gold."

2)After Chelsea returned from a date, Hillary asked her if she had a good time.
Chelsea said she had a wonderful time and she thinks she's in love.
Hillary said, "You didn't have sex, did you?"
Chelsea replied, "Not according to Dad."