TestaRossa

I must admit our materna has been doing the learn a poem thing since the first year! They learn one for Easter, one for Xmas, for mothers day etc. It comes home on a piece of decorated card and Antonia recites it to me! I realise it is so they can memorise lessons in elementare so maybe it is good they started early. Some of them are really long but Antonia loves doing it! Last Xmas they learnt the story of jesus's birth off by heart! It took about 5 minutes for her to recite!!

This morning her bff had got the message. She had made two hearts, one for Antonia and one for herself.....girls!!

Ernesto/a, this is what happened to me with my son. It is soo hard. He was pickedon for his northern accent in the south, the worst culprit was a teacher! But the bullying he stopped telling me about as he felt embarrassed. Luckily the boys involved were expelled but not just because of Alex. It's taken years for him to tell me about it, even tho I knew all wasn't right! I just kept an eye on things as best I could..

indiebird

Yeah come to think of it Julia did this at the Asilo too.... I used to get fed up helping as she would get annoyed with my crappy accent... at the moment she is copying everything she can lay her hands on. She can;t read or write properly yet, but she is loving copying out in immaculate handwriting.

Do you reckon we were like that?? I just remember girls could be right bi***es at school and trying to figure them out and where you stood was a social nightmare. Julia is like that. We're still at the parental nervousness of me stage too with this class so it can be quite funny after school not knowing what to say to another mother or what she should say to me!!

Lorna at Vicenza

Alex has learnt poems for Easter and Mother's day and stuff too at materna but it was always a class thing and learnt over time with lots of other things connected to it like decorating the frame of it (like TR said) or doing a picture to go with it or a painting etc. It was a class project and not something that had to be learned at home by yourself in less than 24 hours.

I just felt a bit sorry for Alex as he's not a cry baby but was obviously scared that he'd get into trouble.

That's one bit of the teachers I don't like here. I knew at my school that we'd never really get into trouble if we could show or prove that we'd done our best.

Alex had done his damndest to learn that damn thing and could prove he knew off by heart all the way to line 6 but it wasn't good enough and the teacher just told him he'd better learn the rest of it. He would have too with an extra day or two.

indiebird

bless him Lorna. Must have felt horrible for him too to think he'd get into trouble. Think my son has just given up. His handwriting is terrible, I make sure he does study and then he gets a 5 or a 6 when the teachers check his comprehension. Just don't think he wants to do any of it.

Lorna at Vicenza

Not sure if this will work or not and of course I'm not sure if you ever use threatening tactics at home ... sorry, that makes you sound really bad .......... but I've just had a thought.

Does your son know that getting bocciato is something that happens in Italian schools? Could you tell him that if he keeps getting 5 and 6 they might not move him up to middle school but keep him where he is for another year in that place he doesn't like with the teachers he hates.

It doesn't happen often in primary school (he doesn't need to know that) but it does happen.

indiebird

Trouble is Lorna, the teachers in his class have told him already that they never give bocciato BUT that the media will hold him back as he is stupid. They just want us to take him back to the UK really. Truth be told.

37100

Indiebird, just a thought, but how about booking an appointment with the school pyschologist. For you I mean not for you son. And I don't mean that you need a pyschologist. They can be booked independently. You don't have to go through the school though no doubt they will be informed and that might make them think before pulling ds ears again. You would be able to talk through the problems you're having. We've done it, though in a public meeting and it did light a few bulbs.

lindaf

Indiebird - what an awful situation. I don't have children (partly because I couldn't stand situations like this), but I do have lots of nieces and nephews.

IMHO if it is children bullying then the decision on whether to speak up or not is hard. Quite often it can make things worse because children can be nasty and they will find ways to hurt other children if they think they can, and they think they can get away with it.

However if the bullying is coming from the teachers, then I think you do need to seriously talk to the school. Like someone else said, they are supposed to be the adults in charge of managing the situation, not exploding it.

Lorna at Vicenza

School pyschologist? Do all schools have one? I've never heard of our school having one but I suppose there is someone in the ULSS building or in the consultorio.

TestaRossa

They are common here too. I know a few who used them for different behaviour problems. One friend now has her son going 3x a week and she says the improvement in his behaviour is amazing. He was held back a year by his mum so just started media but things were looking so bad he was going to be kept down already by the school! I am keeping my fingers crossed this works for them!

37100

All schools have one, but they aren't present in the school. Except for group meetings with them, you go to them to keep the two things seperate. The school can refer a specific child if needed. The nursery, elementary and media schools mine went to all had group meetings a few times a year and they were surprisingly (for me) helpful. In Indi's case, I thought that if the pyschologist has the right experience, they could help her see more clearly and show her how,where and when to tweak things and give here (the well deserved) pat on the back if she's doing things right (and I'm sure she is), boast here moral.

Lorna at Vicenza

So if you didn't want the school to know you wanted to speak to the pyschologist - how would you go about finding the pyschologist?

37100

'Phone them. The number should be on the school district contact numbers.

Patty

As usual I'm a bit behind cos just got home and read the last 2 pages .....but isnt it awful that all our kids dont enjoy school ??? I remember when my kids were in the UK they really liked school. Here both my boys dont have any good feelings about school - especially the younger one. The older one had loads of problems at the beginning and we had alot of bullying problems. I just feel so sad - in a way these teachers are untouchable and I would imagine it would very hard to get any real results. Some of my students have explained that basically teachers/civil servants etc etc are just untouchable. Its a joob for life and I think some (alot) of them become smug in the knowledge they can do what the heck they like
However dont be discouraged Indie - I think you have a very solid case and I would take it further. This teacher deserves a bloody good lesson and maybe its about time she had one. Maybe there are other parents to back you up ?? I dont know - but I just feel so sad for you.

indiebird

Well.... I did manage to have a quiet word with the class delegate today. She is actually a really nice woman. She said she hadn't heard her son say anything but she would have a quiet word with him for me. She knew, before I said which teacher the one it was more likely to be. Anyway, she asked him very discreetly when he came out and confirmed my worst fears. I spoke to her son too and he told me very calmly that it had happened. Ds had not worked, had laughed at her so she swept everything off the desk with her arm, grabbed him by the ear, pulled him round the desk and then made him pick up all his stuff off the floor whilst he was crying. He then ran out to the toilet. The bit he missed out was that the rest of the class were laughing at ds whilst he was crying and ran out. Ds filled this in for me.

I feel absolutely gutted. The consensus of class delegate and another mum was that it happens every so often but no one can prove anything and no complaint has gotten rid of the teacher or got the kids in her class moved and so the parents don't bother to do anything any more. I don't think either of them would let their children back my son up which is very sad. DH thinks that we should concentrate on making ds above reproach and behave himself but if her tactics aren't working why would he. I think he has just given up.

Need to think it over, but there is a school psychologist but got no idea how to get in touch with her. Will look on their website and see. If not I might go into the school office and ask them next week. Do you need to pay 37100 do you know? I think it is important that he and I do get some help but was just wondering about paying... forewarned is forearmed.