K in Modena

How awful Duffer. I heard a similar story here in Modena. A girl I know paid a fortune to see some sort of VIP gynaecologist and he had a similar dismissive, why-are-you-wasting-my-time attitude when she miscarried. Something like, "No heartbeat. Arrivederci Signora."

CKT

I'm so sorry for bringing up what must be a painful subject Duffer. I didn't realise.

duffer

Thanks guys, being a man, I handled the bad news well, plus looking at the image on the monitor when the doctor did the scan, I noticed something wasn't right because the baby looked too still and I noticed there was no heartbeat, but I didn't want to say anything to the OH as she was very nervous as it was. She didn't handle it well as you could imagine (it took a few weeks, she kept on breaking down whenever anyone tried to ask her if anything was wrong as she had told only her best friend). On a plus note, the day after the CVS visit, when she went to her GP to advise him about the operation to take place the next day at the hospital, she broke down sobbing again, the doctor must've been so taken aback, that he hugged her and signed her off work for a week!

Oh, a word of advice, it's best to avoid going to see the newborns in the nido after you've just had an abortion! You're just asking for trouble.

Regarding the doctors, the couple who were in the same hospital room as us, having the same procedure, i.e. internal abortion, told us that when they did the scan (privately) and the doctor saw that there was no heartbeat, he was so apologetic and geniunely upset, that he waived his fee for that visit!

duffer

That's OK, we're trying again for another baby! Although now, instead of doing it every night like we did before, I get to do it just 2 days a month!

Thank you very much ClearBlue!

HADENOUGHPIZZA

GOOD LUCK ! hope another baby comes along soon

ballerina

yes, all the best luck in the world. I have to add to my negative comments, when we took the babba for his vaccinations this morning, the doctors there were lovely.

sunnyjt

Hey Duffer,

The same thing happened to me in August. There was no heartbeat. My private, Canadian gyno was amazing, but when I had to go the next day for the.. um... removal process, it was a nightmare. After the procedure, they put me on the natal ward with all new babies. I'd just lost mine (first pregnancy too, what a welcome into the world of motherhood!) and the first thing I see after surgery is families whooping and cheering in the hallways for new babies. Also, I had to pretty much bargain a kidney for any kind of pain medication after- the nurse thought I was faking my cramps and acted like I was a huge buzz kill. I mean, I guess I was. Bitch.

I was just devastated after, so I can understand your OH's feelings. No babies for us this year I guess, because it was pretty traumatic and we're still reeling from the bizarre-ness of it all!

sunnyjt

Oh, I just have to say though, that the nurses at the hospital were incredible. One of the nurses felt pretty bad for me (I just could not seem to stop the tears during the whole thing!) and she actually sat on my bed and gave me a nice long cuddle and stayed with me until I got it under control. Even the nurses in the surgery (who were all male, not awkward at all) were pretty sweet. Although I do remember them all reeking of smoke, they must have just had their ciggie break!

duffer

Hi Sunnyjt, sorry to hear about your bad news too. The removal process is not something I want to experience again. And I was just in the waiting room eating ice cream! But yes, there is no bigger contrast in hospitals, the only place full of happiness is the nido yet just yards away there is pain and suffering.

Anyway, ClearBlue says tonight is the night! Whoopee!

Lorna at Vicenza

So very sorry to hear that.


Hope it was a good night Duffer.

MCairns

I had two babies in Italy. I would say: if you can go back to the UK to give birth, do so! To sum up, the prenatal and (non-existent) post-natal care were shocking and archaic. Indeed, this was one of the main factors in my eventual decision to move back to Scotland after 12 years in Italy - I am so glad I did.
If you have no choice but to have your child in Italy, make sure of two basic but crucial things: a) you can have your husband with you for the labour and delivery and b) the baby can stay with you during your stay. Neither of these is a given, unfortunately.
There are also no health visitors, etc..., so you will need back-up and advice from level-headed loved ones those first few days at home, if you can get it.
As far as possible, do not let the Italians over-medicalise and ruin your experience. Do not do the "doppia pesata".
If you are in Rome, do not go near Villa San Pietro hospital. My experience there was shocking, and my neighbour's baby died during the birth. Avoid at all costs - better to have it in a barn rather than there.
Sorry to say it like it is, but having babies in Italy is more problematic than it should be in a modern European country.
Good luck

duffer

Jesus Christ lighten up lady!

duffer

Oh sorry, I meant Jesus H **** (to those of you that have seen Ted)

MCairns

You are clearly not a person who respects other people's experiences. My treatment for birth one triggered post-natal depression and deep crisis. So "lighten up" to that is certainly not the ignorant response I would expect.

ballerina

I'm expecting my second baby in March. I thought i'd give them a second chance in La Spezia, but after they cocked up again and made the experience a pain in the bum rather than something to look forward to, i'm going back to England again to have the baby. And hopefully not coming back here ever again!

Since having my first baby, i've discovered that this is no city to bring up kids. There is sod all to do with them, except drive out to the beach in the summer (and then trying to avoid he hottest parts of the day etc), not a single place with baby changing facilities (or even decent toilets for adults for that matter), no playgrounds suitable for toddlers, dog poo and wee stench and mess everywhere you go, wonky pavements that are virtually impossible to move a pushchair over, and the best bit: even if you are 'lucky' enough to have a lift in your building, forget about trying to fit a pushchair in there and then of course you have the flight of stairs down to the door after you come out the lift! I am virtually a prisoner in my apartment here. I used to think it was weird that all the mums with babies i knew here before I was pregnant never went out the house, now i get it.

Unfortunately, there was a very good maternity hospital very nearby here until it closed down last year. So now if you are in this area, I'd advise you to not have a baby here!