I am tired of England..Thinking of Germany, but isnt the case of "grass is greener"?
Dec 14th 2010, 3:25 pm
#16
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Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2010
Location: UK, West Yorkshire
Posts: 2
Re: I am tired of England..Thinking of Germany, but isnt the case of "grass is greene
Hi everyone and I greatly appreciate your replies!
I have to say actually that your replies shocked me...In a very positive and totally unexpected way..
I have never, during my few years here met people who would be so open-minded and emphatic (as you really try to put yourself in "my shoes" and not taking any offence).
I havent checked this forum for a while as I was convinced to hear some abuse and words of hatred..I opened it up today with one eye closed and to my big surprise I saw answers I have never ever expected..
This gave me a lot to think about..about my view of British people..
Or maybe that is why you are expats..? Because you are so nice and normal..?
Thank you soo much. You are amazing!
I have to say actually that your replies shocked me...In a very positive and totally unexpected way..
I have never, during my few years here met people who would be so open-minded and emphatic (as you really try to put yourself in "my shoes" and not taking any offence).
I havent checked this forum for a while as I was convinced to hear some abuse and words of hatred..I opened it up today with one eye closed and to my big surprise I saw answers I have never ever expected..
This gave me a lot to think about..about my view of British people..
Or maybe that is why you are expats..? Because you are so nice and normal..?
Thank you soo much. You are amazing!
Dec 14th 2010, 3:49 pm
#17
Just Joined
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2
Re: I am tired of England..Thinking of Germany, but isnt the case of "grass is greene
Hi,
I am originally from Eastern Europe. Have been livng in England for about 5 years now. I am sorry if I offend any one but I really really do not like it..I cry my eyes out not knowing wht to do..I had such a big hopes with this coutry..I sacrified everything to come here thinking that it is really civilised coultural country with nice openminded people.. I guess it is only my fault for not comming here and doing some research first before moving, but believe me when I lived in Estern Europe I could not afford even short holiday here, especially when I was thinking about moving and had to save evry penny.
Please do not hate me for not liking England..I really tried, I came here so excited, openminded, ready to take in new culture, way o life. It shocked me however what I found here.. In my country I felt we are behind and poor, with no perspective of better life (unless you still, cheat, have reach family etc). I thought that in England can be only better.
I do have a full time job and I am really grateful for this opportunity but I have to say that every day is like a torture for me..The job, the money seem nothing now when I feel so unhappy..
Basicly I have never ever expected people to be so shallow here.. Nearly all I have met think only about getting drunk, going to restaurants, buy fasionable clothes and that would be it..Most people here think that abmitions and self improvement is pathetic. At work promoted and admired are people who go out all the time and "have fun". It doesnt matter howgood job you do or how clever you are..people would not respect you for that. The crime is bigger then i ever imagined. I have also never ever met so many bad, selfish mothers in my life! Busy having fun, changing boyfriends, getting drunk..children are not priority at all. Often dirty, heard from teacher friend that many have lice.. from what i can see it is all parents fault as they simply prefer to spend al the money on clothes, partying and boose rather then kids and their education. I am sick of hearing stories in TV and press how many kids live in poverty. To me is some kind of a joke! I was extremly poor in my country. we had to make a choices if to buy a bread or a soap. despite this imy mother was rather wear one horrible dress for 10 years but buy us this one extra pair of socks or new book for christmas. Most families I knew had the same priorities. Here i hardly see that. i can see very very shallow way of life. most parents do not encurage kids to be ambitious, to be decent..
I struggle in this enviroment. i feel discussed with this behaviour and every day i feel that i have to pretend that i agree with it otherwise i would be hated.
another thing is that in order to be nice everyone pretends. i do appreciate politness but here i feel people are going to far. nobody says what they think, even in circle of friends. everyone even people who clearly dislike each other would be falsly exaggerate they behaviour and be so over the top smily and pretend interest in someons life when you can see and feel that their thoughts are somehere else.to be honest i never know who i am dealing with..i never know what people attitude is as everyone acts exactly the same, everyone says the same things, everyone reacts in the same way as if they have memorised some kind of movie script..
I miss more direct people, i miss knowing where i am standing. I want to know if someone really likes me if not i would rather be shown that. even i its upsetting at least i know how to act towards this person. here i have been dissapointed sooooo many times as i stupidly believed when people where so nice to me, promiss me meetings, coffee toghether etc..i got excited and i was in love with english people at the beggining. and then slovly i started to realsied that most of it are empty words. i realised they say these things to absolutely everyone and it means nothing to them. i find it really rude, false and disrespectful even though they think they are the polite once! with this kind of attitude words. conversations became meaningless and everytime i speak to them i feel emptiness..i just give them answers they expect now and move on, but i am unable to feel closer to them or build some kind of bond with them due to this..
also education..god i know my english is far from perfect (i apologise) but i started learning it when i came over. people who are english very often spell not much better then me. i hear every day how many kids finish schools and they cant read and write..i never ever met anyone like this in my country either..and our classes at schools were 35 students and teachers were paid nothing for their jobs..here however everyone blames lack of money and classed where there are to many students. to me the only reason is lack of discipline, ambition, lack of good parenting. this has nothing to do with money, but hey, English people blame everything on lack of money and us foreigners even though they have more then most people in the world. they are just unable to use it sensibly.
Most families would rather go into debt and have a hoilday abrod they cant afford then pay for their kids education. these are the priorities i see and i find that absolutely incredibly stupid and shallow!
I have to say the last 5 years made me so dipressed that i had suisidal thoughts..i cant come back to my country now and i have no idea where to go next..i do not have skills that are in demand lke IT or nursing, i just do admin office job. also I am 35 now, no husband kids and i do not know how to start everything from beggining once again..
Plus English experience dissapointed me so much that I am paralised when i think of moving somwhere else.
Any way despite my terrible fears i wa sthinking about Germany. After England I miss direct people who may be cold at first but at least they do not pretend and once they accept you that it is, but there is no unneccessary pretending and being false. I miss clean enviroment, people who have more in their minds then get drunk and watch footbal. I want to see normal families around me where mother looks after the kids.
I know you going to hate me now for what i have said..I am sorry..this is what i see around myslef every day, and that is why i lost will to live..i just wanted to live in a better place where people have normal and obvious to me principles but also they do not have to strave like i did due to lack of money in my contry..now i do not strave phisicly any more but emotionally and intelectually I am dying here..
I know there are some groups that do not live like this but they are usually reach people and i do not have access to them. in my country you can find smart decent people in all classes, very often the poor once ae ven more decent and have very high morals. here is quite the opposite. the poor English i met are just like mentally disable, they do not hav common sense, they do not want to live better lifes, they just want to have few quid for a drink, cannabis, nice clothes and that is it..
I am originally from Eastern Europe. Have been livng in England for about 5 years now. I am sorry if I offend any one but I really really do not like it..I cry my eyes out not knowing wht to do..I had such a big hopes with this coutry..I sacrified everything to come here thinking that it is really civilised coultural country with nice openminded people.. I guess it is only my fault for not comming here and doing some research first before moving, but believe me when I lived in Estern Europe I could not afford even short holiday here, especially when I was thinking about moving and had to save evry penny.
Please do not hate me for not liking England..I really tried, I came here so excited, openminded, ready to take in new culture, way o life. It shocked me however what I found here.. In my country I felt we are behind and poor, with no perspective of better life (unless you still, cheat, have reach family etc). I thought that in England can be only better.
I do have a full time job and I am really grateful for this opportunity but I have to say that every day is like a torture for me..The job, the money seem nothing now when I feel so unhappy..
Basicly I have never ever expected people to be so shallow here.. Nearly all I have met think only about getting drunk, going to restaurants, buy fasionable clothes and that would be it..Most people here think that abmitions and self improvement is pathetic. At work promoted and admired are people who go out all the time and "have fun". It doesnt matter howgood job you do or how clever you are..people would not respect you for that. The crime is bigger then i ever imagined. I have also never ever met so many bad, selfish mothers in my life! Busy having fun, changing boyfriends, getting drunk..children are not priority at all. Often dirty, heard from teacher friend that many have lice.. from what i can see it is all parents fault as they simply prefer to spend al the money on clothes, partying and boose rather then kids and their education. I am sick of hearing stories in TV and press how many kids live in poverty. To me is some kind of a joke! I was extremly poor in my country. we had to make a choices if to buy a bread or a soap. despite this imy mother was rather wear one horrible dress for 10 years but buy us this one extra pair of socks or new book for christmas. Most families I knew had the same priorities. Here i hardly see that. i can see very very shallow way of life. most parents do not encurage kids to be ambitious, to be decent..
I struggle in this enviroment. i feel discussed with this behaviour and every day i feel that i have to pretend that i agree with it otherwise i would be hated.
another thing is that in order to be nice everyone pretends. i do appreciate politness but here i feel people are going to far. nobody says what they think, even in circle of friends. everyone even people who clearly dislike each other would be falsly exaggerate they behaviour and be so over the top smily and pretend interest in someons life when you can see and feel that their thoughts are somehere else.to be honest i never know who i am dealing with..i never know what people attitude is as everyone acts exactly the same, everyone says the same things, everyone reacts in the same way as if they have memorised some kind of movie script..
I miss more direct people, i miss knowing where i am standing. I want to know if someone really likes me if not i would rather be shown that. even i its upsetting at least i know how to act towards this person. here i have been dissapointed sooooo many times as i stupidly believed when people where so nice to me, promiss me meetings, coffee toghether etc..i got excited and i was in love with english people at the beggining. and then slovly i started to realsied that most of it are empty words. i realised they say these things to absolutely everyone and it means nothing to them. i find it really rude, false and disrespectful even though they think they are the polite once! with this kind of attitude words. conversations became meaningless and everytime i speak to them i feel emptiness..i just give them answers they expect now and move on, but i am unable to feel closer to them or build some kind of bond with them due to this..
also education..god i know my english is far from perfect (i apologise) but i started learning it when i came over. people who are english very often spell not much better then me. i hear every day how many kids finish schools and they cant read and write..i never ever met anyone like this in my country either..and our classes at schools were 35 students and teachers were paid nothing for their jobs..here however everyone blames lack of money and classed where there are to many students. to me the only reason is lack of discipline, ambition, lack of good parenting. this has nothing to do with money, but hey, English people blame everything on lack of money and us foreigners even though they have more then most people in the world. they are just unable to use it sensibly.
Most families would rather go into debt and have a hoilday abrod they cant afford then pay for their kids education. these are the priorities i see and i find that absolutely incredibly stupid and shallow!
I have to say the last 5 years made me so dipressed that i had suisidal thoughts..i cant come back to my country now and i have no idea where to go next..i do not have skills that are in demand lke IT or nursing, i just do admin office job. also I am 35 now, no husband kids and i do not know how to start everything from beggining once again..
Plus English experience dissapointed me so much that I am paralised when i think of moving somwhere else.
Any way despite my terrible fears i wa sthinking about Germany. After England I miss direct people who may be cold at first but at least they do not pretend and once they accept you that it is, but there is no unneccessary pretending and being false. I miss clean enviroment, people who have more in their minds then get drunk and watch footbal. I want to see normal families around me where mother looks after the kids.
I know you going to hate me now for what i have said..I am sorry..this is what i see around myslef every day, and that is why i lost will to live..i just wanted to live in a better place where people have normal and obvious to me principles but also they do not have to strave like i did due to lack of money in my contry..now i do not strave phisicly any more but emotionally and intelectually I am dying here..
I know there are some groups that do not live like this but they are usually reach people and i do not have access to them. in my country you can find smart decent people in all classes, very often the poor once ae ven more decent and have very high morals. here is quite the opposite. the poor English i met are just like mentally disable, they do not hav common sense, they do not want to live better lifes, they just want to have few quid for a drink, cannabis, nice clothes and that is it..
Dec 19th 2010, 1:42 pm
#18
Just Joined
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 3
Re: I am tired of England..Thinking of Germany, but isnt the case of "grass is greene
The grass is always greener...
Having spent fifteen years in Germany I'm now moving back to the UK.
To start with it was okay, as time passed the novelty wore off and eventually it was only the money which kept me here.
It's very important not to take Germany at face value nor to have unrealistic expectations. Germans are no more honest or dishonest than other europeans. What they call "straight talking" is often an excuse for rudeness, not the other way round, and you'll have to get used to being treated differently because you're a foreigner.
I was never a patriotic Englander and found all that nationalistic stuff awful. After a decade and a half in a right-wing country I realise that the UK is no more "nationalistic" than anywhere else.
So (especially as an east-European) don't expect too much from Germany, you may well find that the reception is not as friendly as you hoped.
Having spent fifteen years in Germany I'm now moving back to the UK.
To start with it was okay, as time passed the novelty wore off and eventually it was only the money which kept me here.
It's very important not to take Germany at face value nor to have unrealistic expectations. Germans are no more honest or dishonest than other europeans. What they call "straight talking" is often an excuse for rudeness, not the other way round, and you'll have to get used to being treated differently because you're a foreigner.
I was never a patriotic Englander and found all that nationalistic stuff awful. After a decade and a half in a right-wing country I realise that the UK is no more "nationalistic" than anywhere else.
So (especially as an east-European) don't expect too much from Germany, you may well find that the reception is not as friendly as you hoped.
Dec 26th 2010, 12:24 pm
#19
Just Joined
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 5
Re: I am tired of England..Thinking of Germany, but isnt the case of "grass is greene
I understand were she is coming from and also with a lot of the views that people have posted (although the comment about living in a deprived area was a bit harsh) I think I have an idea which area of the country she is in! Down here in the south is probably a lot worse and I would not recommend it especially if you want to get a way from the more superficial type of crowd. Home is were the heart is I believe, so I would just give it a go as you have nothing to loose and I assuming you don't have any major roots/ties here. I was born here & i don't even like it, I just play the game & get the best out of the situation.
Dec 28th 2010, 5:06 pm
#20
Just Joined
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2
Re: I am tired of England..Thinking of Germany, but isnt the case of "grass is greene
Hi,
I am originally from Eastern Europe. Have been livng in England for about 5 years now. I am sorry if I offend any one but I really really do not like it..I cry my eyes out not knowing wht to do..I had such a big hopes with this coutry..I sacrified everything to come here thinking that it is really civilised coultural country with nice openminded people.. I guess it is only my fault for not comming here and doing some research first before moving, but believe me when I lived in Estern Europe I could not afford even short holiday here, especially when I was thinking about moving and had to save evry penny.
Please do not hate me for not liking England..I really tried, I came here so excited, openminded, ready to take in new culture, way o life. It shocked me however what I found here.. In my country I felt we are behind and poor, with no perspective of better life (unless you still, cheat, have reach family etc). I thought that in England can be only better.
I do have a full time job and I am really grateful for this opportunity but I have to say that every day is like a torture for me..The job, the money seem nothing now when I feel so unhappy..
Basicly I have never ever expected people to be so shallow here.. Nearly all I have met think only about getting drunk, going to restaurants, buy fasionable clothes and that would be it..Most people here think that abmitions and self improvement is pathetic. At work promoted and admired are people who go out all the time and "have fun". It doesnt matter howgood job you do or how clever you are..people would not respect you for that. The crime is bigger then i ever imagined. I have also never ever met so many bad, selfish mothers in my life! Busy having fun, changing boyfriends, getting drunk..children are not priority at all. Often dirty, heard from teacher friend that many have lice.. from what i can see it is all parents fault as they simply prefer to spend al the money on clothes, partying and boose rather then kids and their education. I am sick of hearing stories in TV and press how many kids live in poverty. To me is some kind of a joke! I was extremly poor in my country. we had to make a choices if to buy a bread or a soap. despite this imy mother was rather wear one horrible dress for 10 years but buy us this one extra pair of socks or new book for christmas. Most families I knew had the same priorities. Here i hardly see that. i can see very very shallow way of life. most parents do not encurage kids to be ambitious, to be decent..
I struggle in this enviroment. i feel discussed with this behaviour and every day i feel that i have to pretend that i agree with it otherwise i would be hated.
another thing is that in order to be nice everyone pretends. i do appreciate politness but here i feel people are going to far. nobody says what they think, even in circle of friends. everyone even people who clearly dislike each other would be falsly exaggerate they behaviour and be so over the top smily and pretend interest in someons life when you can see and feel that their thoughts are somehere else.to be honest i never know who i am dealing with..i never know what people attitude is as everyone acts exactly the same, everyone says the same things, everyone reacts in the same way as if they have memorised some kind of movie script..
I miss more direct people, i miss knowing where i am standing. I want to know if someone really likes me if not i would rather be shown that. even i its upsetting at least i know how to act towards this person. here i have been dissapointed sooooo many times as i stupidly believed when people where so nice to me, promiss me meetings, coffee toghether etc..i got excited and i was in love with english people at the beggining. and then slovly i started to realsied that most of it are empty words. i realised they say these things to absolutely everyone and it means nothing to them. i find it really rude, false and disrespectful even though they think they are the polite once! with this kind of attitude words. conversations became meaningless and everytime i speak to them i feel emptiness..i just give them answers they expect now and move on, but i am unable to feel closer to them or build some kind of bond with them due to this..
also education..god i know my english is far from perfect (i apologise) but i started learning it when i came over. people who are english very often spell not much better then me. i hear every day how many kids finish schools and they cant read and write..i never ever met anyone like this in my country either..and our classes at schools were 35 students and teachers were paid nothing for their jobs..here however everyone blames lack of money and classed where there are to many students. to me the only reason is lack of discipline, ambition, lack of good parenting. this has nothing to do with money, but hey, English people blame everything on lack of money and us foreigners even though they have more then most people in the world. they are just unable to use it sensibly.
Most families would rather go into debt and have a hoilday abrod they cant afford then pay for their kids education. these are the priorities i see and i find that absolutely incredibly stupid and shallow!
I have to say the last 5 years made me so dipressed that i had suisidal thoughts..i cant come back to my country now and i have no idea where to go next..i do not have skills that are in demand lke IT or nursing, i just do admin office job. also I am 35 now, no husband kids and i do not know how to start everything from beggining once again..
Plus English experience dissapointed me so much that I am paralised when i think of moving somwhere else.
Any way despite my terrible fears i wa sthinking about Germany. After England I miss direct people who may be cold at first but at least they do not pretend and once they accept you that it is, but there is no unneccessary pretending and being false. I miss clean enviroment, people who have more in their minds then get drunk and watch footbal. I want to see normal families around me where mother looks after the kids.
I know you going to hate me now for what i have said..I am sorry..this is what i see around myslef every day, and that is why i lost will to live..i just wanted to live in a better place where people have normal and obvious to me principles but also they do not have to strave like i did due to lack of money in my contry..now i do not strave phisicly any more but emotionally and intelectually I am dying here..
I know there are some groups that do not live like this but they are usually reach people and i do not have access to them. in my country you can find smart decent people in all classes, very often the poor once ae ven more decent and have very high morals. here is quite the opposite. the poor English i met are just like mentally disable, they do not hav common sense, they do not want to live better lifes, they just want to have few quid for a drink, cannabis, nice clothes and that is it..
I am originally from Eastern Europe. Have been livng in England for about 5 years now. I am sorry if I offend any one but I really really do not like it..I cry my eyes out not knowing wht to do..I had such a big hopes with this coutry..I sacrified everything to come here thinking that it is really civilised coultural country with nice openminded people.. I guess it is only my fault for not comming here and doing some research first before moving, but believe me when I lived in Estern Europe I could not afford even short holiday here, especially when I was thinking about moving and had to save evry penny.
Please do not hate me for not liking England..I really tried, I came here so excited, openminded, ready to take in new culture, way o life. It shocked me however what I found here.. In my country I felt we are behind and poor, with no perspective of better life (unless you still, cheat, have reach family etc). I thought that in England can be only better.
I do have a full time job and I am really grateful for this opportunity but I have to say that every day is like a torture for me..The job, the money seem nothing now when I feel so unhappy..
Basicly I have never ever expected people to be so shallow here.. Nearly all I have met think only about getting drunk, going to restaurants, buy fasionable clothes and that would be it..Most people here think that abmitions and self improvement is pathetic. At work promoted and admired are people who go out all the time and "have fun". It doesnt matter howgood job you do or how clever you are..people would not respect you for that. The crime is bigger then i ever imagined. I have also never ever met so many bad, selfish mothers in my life! Busy having fun, changing boyfriends, getting drunk..children are not priority at all. Often dirty, heard from teacher friend that many have lice.. from what i can see it is all parents fault as they simply prefer to spend al the money on clothes, partying and boose rather then kids and their education. I am sick of hearing stories in TV and press how many kids live in poverty. To me is some kind of a joke! I was extremly poor in my country. we had to make a choices if to buy a bread or a soap. despite this imy mother was rather wear one horrible dress for 10 years but buy us this one extra pair of socks or new book for christmas. Most families I knew had the same priorities. Here i hardly see that. i can see very very shallow way of life. most parents do not encurage kids to be ambitious, to be decent..
I struggle in this enviroment. i feel discussed with this behaviour and every day i feel that i have to pretend that i agree with it otherwise i would be hated.
another thing is that in order to be nice everyone pretends. i do appreciate politness but here i feel people are going to far. nobody says what they think, even in circle of friends. everyone even people who clearly dislike each other would be falsly exaggerate they behaviour and be so over the top smily and pretend interest in someons life when you can see and feel that their thoughts are somehere else.to be honest i never know who i am dealing with..i never know what people attitude is as everyone acts exactly the same, everyone says the same things, everyone reacts in the same way as if they have memorised some kind of movie script..
I miss more direct people, i miss knowing where i am standing. I want to know if someone really likes me if not i would rather be shown that. even i its upsetting at least i know how to act towards this person. here i have been dissapointed sooooo many times as i stupidly believed when people where so nice to me, promiss me meetings, coffee toghether etc..i got excited and i was in love with english people at the beggining. and then slovly i started to realsied that most of it are empty words. i realised they say these things to absolutely everyone and it means nothing to them. i find it really rude, false and disrespectful even though they think they are the polite once! with this kind of attitude words. conversations became meaningless and everytime i speak to them i feel emptiness..i just give them answers they expect now and move on, but i am unable to feel closer to them or build some kind of bond with them due to this..
also education..god i know my english is far from perfect (i apologise) but i started learning it when i came over. people who are english very often spell not much better then me. i hear every day how many kids finish schools and they cant read and write..i never ever met anyone like this in my country either..and our classes at schools were 35 students and teachers were paid nothing for their jobs..here however everyone blames lack of money and classed where there are to many students. to me the only reason is lack of discipline, ambition, lack of good parenting. this has nothing to do with money, but hey, English people blame everything on lack of money and us foreigners even though they have more then most people in the world. they are just unable to use it sensibly.
Most families would rather go into debt and have a hoilday abrod they cant afford then pay for their kids education. these are the priorities i see and i find that absolutely incredibly stupid and shallow!
I have to say the last 5 years made me so dipressed that i had suisidal thoughts..i cant come back to my country now and i have no idea where to go next..i do not have skills that are in demand lke IT or nursing, i just do admin office job. also I am 35 now, no husband kids and i do not know how to start everything from beggining once again..
Plus English experience dissapointed me so much that I am paralised when i think of moving somwhere else.
Any way despite my terrible fears i wa sthinking about Germany. After England I miss direct people who may be cold at first but at least they do not pretend and once they accept you that it is, but there is no unneccessary pretending and being false. I miss clean enviroment, people who have more in their minds then get drunk and watch footbal. I want to see normal families around me where mother looks after the kids.
I know you going to hate me now for what i have said..I am sorry..this is what i see around myslef every day, and that is why i lost will to live..i just wanted to live in a better place where people have normal and obvious to me principles but also they do not have to strave like i did due to lack of money in my contry..now i do not strave phisicly any more but emotionally and intelectually I am dying here..
I know there are some groups that do not live like this but they are usually reach people and i do not have access to them. in my country you can find smart decent people in all classes, very often the poor once ae ven more decent and have very high morals. here is quite the opposite. the poor English i met are just like mentally disable, they do not hav common sense, they do not want to live better lifes, they just want to have few quid for a drink, cannabis, nice clothes and that is it..
I don't know if Germany is any better - but I do know it's different. People tend to be more direct here and I as someone who prefers to know where he stands with someone, it helps me a great deal. On the other hand though, I think an expectation of UK or US style politeness would be unrealistic.
I do have to admit though, that these are huge generalisations. I mean, you mentioned you live in England - this is a big place. Perhaps not in size, but in variety. It's even more pronounced in the US: New Yorkers are quite different from Texans. Before writing off the UK completely, I would consider the possibility of moving to another part of the UK. Perhaps try Scotland, or Northern Ireland. I'm not sure where you come from, I would guess somewhere from Central Asia but in any case, you values and ideals are different in different places.
It's just my opinion though.
Dec 30th 2010, 8:14 pm
#21
Forum Regular
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 106
Re: I am tired of England..Thinking of Germany, but isnt the case of "grass is greene
I can't blame you on your dislike for England.
To me it really seems that you are bitter as you don't do as your co-workers do, go out and have fun. If you don't socialise of course you are going to have a negative view on the place you are living as you really aren't living your live to the fullest extent.
You may think people are shallow here for promoting people that go out and have fun but those are people that have good working and social relationships with co-workers bosses, it is how it works, it isn't how well you do, it is who you know
Germant may seem greener but is it? do you speak German? will you assimilate into German life/culture?
Persoanally I think you may need to look at other parts of England (or Scotland/Northern Ireland) and see if there is a better fit there, Cornwall has maybe to your liking perhaps
I know some of my post may seem rude and I am sorry but what I have written I really feel that you haven't assimilated fully into British life/culture which is the root of your angst I'd say
Have a good one
To me it really seems that you are bitter as you don't do as your co-workers do, go out and have fun. If you don't socialise of course you are going to have a negative view on the place you are living as you really aren't living your live to the fullest extent.
You may think people are shallow here for promoting people that go out and have fun but those are people that have good working and social relationships with co-workers bosses, it is how it works, it isn't how well you do, it is who you know
Germant may seem greener but is it? do you speak German? will you assimilate into German life/culture?
Persoanally I think you may need to look at other parts of England (or Scotland/Northern Ireland) and see if there is a better fit there, Cornwall has maybe to your liking perhaps
I know some of my post may seem rude and I am sorry but what I have written I really feel that you haven't assimilated fully into British life/culture which is the root of your angst I'd say
Have a good one
Feb 2nd 2011, 6:54 am
#22
Just Joined
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 2
Re: I am tired of England..Thinking of Germany, but isnt the case of "grass is greene
HEARTBREAKING your story, Pepa. You MIGHT find the sort of family environment you are looking for amongst the Turkish and Arab peoples which live concentrated in certain parts of Berlin and if you can do your office work in German, English and your own East European native language you should have good chances of finding work in Berlin. But the chances of finding your own personal, private family happiness outside your own home (country) makes me feel sad. I wish you only the very best.
Feb 3rd 2011, 6:51 am
#23
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2006
Location: Brussels
Posts: 887
Re: I am tired of England..Thinking of Germany, but isnt the case of "grass is greene
As one who has tried England , more than once , over the last 30-or-so years ( and zillions of tears ) , I too ( very much ) commiserate with you , Pepa !
Now I live somewhere else , relatively nearby , but ( to my own preferences ) : very , very much more acceptable .
If I were younger , I'd do my damnest to be in Toronto !!!
2nd choice : Cape Town , maybe ? Or Melbourne , New Zealand even...
My 2 overvalued EUrocents opinion's worth , for this sad , gray , rainy a.m.
Now I live somewhere else , relatively nearby , but ( to my own preferences ) : very , very much more acceptable .
If I were younger , I'd do my damnest to be in Toronto !!!
2nd choice : Cape Town , maybe ? Or Melbourne , New Zealand even...
My 2 overvalued EUrocents opinion's worth , for this sad , gray , rainy a.m.
Feb 3rd 2011, 7:17 am
#24
Lapine Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: Austin, Texas in my own little world
Posts: 21,691
Re: I am tired of England..Thinking of Germany, but isnt the case of "grass is greene
Now I live somewhere else , relatively nearby , but ( to my own preferences ) : very , very much more acceptable .
If I were younger , I'd do my damnest to be in Toronto !!!
2nd choice : Cape Town , maybe ? Or Melbourne , New Zealand even...
My 2 overvalued EUrocents opinion's worth , for this sad , gray , rainy a.m.
If I were younger , I'd do my damnest to be in Toronto !!!
2nd choice : Cape Town , maybe ? Or Melbourne , New Zealand even...
My 2 overvalued EUrocents opinion's worth , for this sad , gray , rainy a.m.
I'm wondering if there is somewhere where it's NOT sad, grey, and rainy in February, and is halfway affordable. Toronto is a great city, but it's got its own grey snowy weather. As to finding friends who want something else out of life (rather than the next drink or shag) - well, you may have to look harder but they are there.
Feb 3rd 2011, 7:33 am
#25
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2006
Location: Brussels
Posts: 887
Re: I am tired of England..Thinking of Germany, but isnt the case of "grass is greene
Actually , from my ( many ) memories , T'to has quite few sunny ( albeit : cold ) winter days , with clear blue skies abounding ;
AND , one Never Ever feels as cold there , as one does in sad , damp , depressed , greedy , money-grabbing , conceited England and in many other parts of NW EUrope !
And , as a successful , colourful melting pot of many different cultures , it beats Bradford or Streatham or Essex , any of my days !
AND , one Never Ever feels as cold there , as one does in sad , damp , depressed , greedy , money-grabbing , conceited England and in many other parts of NW EUrope !
And , as a successful , colourful melting pot of many different cultures , it beats Bradford or Streatham or Essex , any of my days !
Feb 3rd 2011, 4:12 pm
#26
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 41,518
Re: I am tired of England..Thinking of Germany, but isnt the case of "grass is greene
Actually , from my ( many ) memories , T'to has quite few sunny ( albeit : cold ) winter days , with clear blue skies abounding ;
AND , one Never Ever feels as cold there , as one does in sad , damp , depressed , greedy , money-grabbing , conceited England and in many other parts of NW EUrope !
And , as a successful , colourful melting pot of many different cultures , it beats Bradford or Streatham or Essex , any of my days !
AND , one Never Ever feels as cold there , as one does in sad , damp , depressed , greedy , money-grabbing , conceited England and in many other parts of NW EUrope !
And , as a successful , colourful melting pot of many different cultures , it beats Bradford or Streatham or Essex , any of my days !
Feb 3rd 2011, 10:37 pm
#27
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2006
Location: Brussels
Posts: 887
Re: I am tired of England..Thinking of Germany, but isnt the case of "grass is greene
Have you visited Chelmsford High St. , of lately ?
( Or Brixton , which I know is not Essex , but : hardly any worse...)
( Or Brixton , which I know is not Essex , but : hardly any worse...)
Feb 4th 2011, 1:47 pm
#28
Just Joined
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2
Re: I am tired of England..Thinking of Germany, but isnt the case of "grass is greene
[QUOTE=Pepa;9036171]Hi,
I am originally from Eastern Europe too. Have been livng in England for about 5 years now too And I am absolutely agree with you. I have got the same thoughts about England. I dislike this country so much. i HAVE BEEN WORKING IN ADMIN JOB BUT I HAVE GOT UNIVERSITY DEGREE FROM MY COUNTRY. But they dont count it . I attend interviews but got nothing back i have got a big experience though in working for Leeds City Council. But most employers preffer english people rather than us eastern europeans. Country is in a big crisis.
I am originally from Eastern Europe too. Have been livng in England for about 5 years now too And I am absolutely agree with you. I have got the same thoughts about England. I dislike this country so much. i HAVE BEEN WORKING IN ADMIN JOB BUT I HAVE GOT UNIVERSITY DEGREE FROM MY COUNTRY. But they dont count it . I attend interviews but got nothing back i have got a big experience though in working for Leeds City Council. But most employers preffer english people rather than us eastern europeans. Country is in a big crisis.
Feb 4th 2011, 3:11 pm
#29
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2006
Location: Brussels
Posts: 887
Re: I am tired of England..Thinking of Germany, but isnt the case of "grass is greene
Crisis ?
Now , that's a really serious Understatement , IMHO !
Now , that's a really serious Understatement , IMHO !
Feb 4th 2011, 3:16 pm
#30
Just Joined
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 2
Re: I am tired of England..Thinking of Germany, but isnt the case of "grass is greene
Hi,
I am originally from Eastern Europe. Have been livng in England for about 5 years now. I am sorry if I offend any one but I really really do not like it..I cry my eyes out not knowing wht to do..I had such a big hopes with this coutry..I sacrified everything to come here thinking that it is really civilised coultural country with nice openminded people.. I guess it is only my fault for not comming here and doing some research first before moving, but believe me when I lived in Estern Europe I could not afford even short holiday here, especially when I was thinking about moving and had to save evry penny.
Please do not hate me for not liking England..I really tried, I came here so excited, openminded, ready to take in new culture, way o life. It shocked me however what I found here.. In my country I felt we are behind and poor, with no perspective of better life (unless you still, cheat, have reach family etc). I thought that in England can be only better.
I do have a full time job and I am really grateful for this opportunity but I have to say that every day is like a torture for me..The job, the money seem nothing now when I feel so unhappy..
Basicly I have never ever expected people to be so shallow here.. Nearly all I have met think only about getting drunk, going to restaurants, buy fasionable clothes and that would be it..Most people here think that abmitions and self improvement is pathetic. At work promoted and admired are people who go out all the time and "have fun". It doesnt matter howgood job you do or how clever you are..people would not respect you for that. The crime is bigger then i ever imagined. I have also never ever met so many bad, selfish mothers in my life! Busy having fun, changing boyfriends, getting drunk..children are not priority at all. Often dirty, heard from teacher friend that many have lice.. from what i can see it is all parents fault as they simply prefer to spend al the money on clothes, partying and boose rather then kids and their education. I am sick of hearing stories in TV and press how many kids live in poverty. To me is some kind of a joke! I was extremly poor in my country. we had to make a choices if to buy a bread or a soap. despite this imy mother was rather wear one horrible dress for 10 years but buy us this one extra pair of socks or new book for christmas. Most families I knew had the same priorities. Here i hardly see that. i can see very very shallow way of life. most parents do not encurage kids to be ambitious, to be decent..
I struggle in this enviroment. i feel discussed with this behaviour and every day i feel that i have to pretend that i agree with it otherwise i would be hated.
another thing is that in order to be nice everyone pretends. i do appreciate politness but here i feel people are going to far. nobody says what they think, even in circle of friends. everyone even people who clearly dislike each other would be falsly exaggerate they behaviour and be so over the top smily and pretend interest in someons life when you can see and feel that their thoughts are somehere else.to be honest i never know who i am dealing with..i never know what people attitude is as everyone acts exactly the same, everyone says the same things, everyone reacts in the same way as if they have memorised some kind of movie script..
I miss more direct people, i miss knowing where i am standing. I want to know if someone really likes me if not i would rather be shown that. even i its upsetting at least i know how to act towards this person. here i have been dissapointed sooooo many times as i stupidly believed when people where so nice to me, promiss me meetings, coffee toghether etc..i got excited and i was in love with english people at the beggining. and then slovly i started to realsied that most of it are empty words. i realised they say these things to absolutely everyone and it means nothing to them. i find it really rude, false and disrespectful even though they think they are the polite once! with this kind of attitude words. conversations became meaningless and everytime i speak to them i feel emptiness..i just give them answers they expect now and move on, but i am unable to feel closer to them or build some kind of bond with them due to this..
also education..god i know my english is far from perfect (i apologise) but i started learning it when i came over. people who are english very often spell not much better then me. i hear every day how many kids finish schools and they cant read and write..i never ever met anyone like this in my country either..and our classes at schools were 35 students and teachers were paid nothing for their jobs..here however everyone blames lack of money and classed where there are to many students. to me the only reason is lack of discipline, ambition, lack of good parenting. this has nothing to do with money, but hey, English people blame everything on lack of money and us foreigners even though they have more then most people in the world. they are just unable to use it sensibly.
Most families would rather go into debt and have a hoilday abrod they cant afford then pay for their kids education. these are the priorities i see and i find that absolutely incredibly stupid and shallow!
I have to say the last 5 years made me so dipressed that i had suisidal thoughts..i cant come back to my country now and i have no idea where to go next..i do not have skills that are in demand lke IT or nursing, i just do admin office job. also I am 35 now, no husband kids and i do not know how to start everything from beggining once again..
Plus English experience dissapointed me so much that I am paralised when i think of moving somwhere else.
Any way despite my terrible fears i wa sthinking about Germany. After England I miss direct people who may be cold at first but at least they do not pretend and once they accept you that it is, but there is no unneccessary pretending and being false. I miss clean enviroment, people who have more in their minds then get drunk and watch footbal. I want to see normal families around me where mother looks after the kids.
I know you going to hate me now for what i have said..I am sorry..this is what i see around myslef every day, and that is why i lost will to live..i just wanted to live in a better place where people have normal and obvious to me principles but also they do not have to strave like i did due to lack of money in my contry..now i do not strave phisicly any more but emotionally and intelectually I am dying here..
I know there are some groups that do not live like this but they are usually reach people and i do not have access to them. in my country you can find smart decent people in all classes, very often the poor once ae ven more decent and have very high morals. here is quite the opposite. the poor English i met are just like mentally disable, they do not hav common sense, they do not want to live better lifes, they just want to have few quid for a drink, cannabis, nice clothes and that is it..
I am originally from Eastern Europe. Have been livng in England for about 5 years now. I am sorry if I offend any one but I really really do not like it..I cry my eyes out not knowing wht to do..I had such a big hopes with this coutry..I sacrified everything to come here thinking that it is really civilised coultural country with nice openminded people.. I guess it is only my fault for not comming here and doing some research first before moving, but believe me when I lived in Estern Europe I could not afford even short holiday here, especially when I was thinking about moving and had to save evry penny.
Please do not hate me for not liking England..I really tried, I came here so excited, openminded, ready to take in new culture, way o life. It shocked me however what I found here.. In my country I felt we are behind and poor, with no perspective of better life (unless you still, cheat, have reach family etc). I thought that in England can be only better.
I do have a full time job and I am really grateful for this opportunity but I have to say that every day is like a torture for me..The job, the money seem nothing now when I feel so unhappy..
Basicly I have never ever expected people to be so shallow here.. Nearly all I have met think only about getting drunk, going to restaurants, buy fasionable clothes and that would be it..Most people here think that abmitions and self improvement is pathetic. At work promoted and admired are people who go out all the time and "have fun". It doesnt matter howgood job you do or how clever you are..people would not respect you for that. The crime is bigger then i ever imagined. I have also never ever met so many bad, selfish mothers in my life! Busy having fun, changing boyfriends, getting drunk..children are not priority at all. Often dirty, heard from teacher friend that many have lice.. from what i can see it is all parents fault as they simply prefer to spend al the money on clothes, partying and boose rather then kids and their education. I am sick of hearing stories in TV and press how many kids live in poverty. To me is some kind of a joke! I was extremly poor in my country. we had to make a choices if to buy a bread or a soap. despite this imy mother was rather wear one horrible dress for 10 years but buy us this one extra pair of socks or new book for christmas. Most families I knew had the same priorities. Here i hardly see that. i can see very very shallow way of life. most parents do not encurage kids to be ambitious, to be decent..
I struggle in this enviroment. i feel discussed with this behaviour and every day i feel that i have to pretend that i agree with it otherwise i would be hated.
another thing is that in order to be nice everyone pretends. i do appreciate politness but here i feel people are going to far. nobody says what they think, even in circle of friends. everyone even people who clearly dislike each other would be falsly exaggerate they behaviour and be so over the top smily and pretend interest in someons life when you can see and feel that their thoughts are somehere else.to be honest i never know who i am dealing with..i never know what people attitude is as everyone acts exactly the same, everyone says the same things, everyone reacts in the same way as if they have memorised some kind of movie script..
I miss more direct people, i miss knowing where i am standing. I want to know if someone really likes me if not i would rather be shown that. even i its upsetting at least i know how to act towards this person. here i have been dissapointed sooooo many times as i stupidly believed when people where so nice to me, promiss me meetings, coffee toghether etc..i got excited and i was in love with english people at the beggining. and then slovly i started to realsied that most of it are empty words. i realised they say these things to absolutely everyone and it means nothing to them. i find it really rude, false and disrespectful even though they think they are the polite once! with this kind of attitude words. conversations became meaningless and everytime i speak to them i feel emptiness..i just give them answers they expect now and move on, but i am unable to feel closer to them or build some kind of bond with them due to this..
also education..god i know my english is far from perfect (i apologise) but i started learning it when i came over. people who are english very often spell not much better then me. i hear every day how many kids finish schools and they cant read and write..i never ever met anyone like this in my country either..and our classes at schools were 35 students and teachers were paid nothing for their jobs..here however everyone blames lack of money and classed where there are to many students. to me the only reason is lack of discipline, ambition, lack of good parenting. this has nothing to do with money, but hey, English people blame everything on lack of money and us foreigners even though they have more then most people in the world. they are just unable to use it sensibly.
Most families would rather go into debt and have a hoilday abrod they cant afford then pay for their kids education. these are the priorities i see and i find that absolutely incredibly stupid and shallow!
I have to say the last 5 years made me so dipressed that i had suisidal thoughts..i cant come back to my country now and i have no idea where to go next..i do not have skills that are in demand lke IT or nursing, i just do admin office job. also I am 35 now, no husband kids and i do not know how to start everything from beggining once again..
Plus English experience dissapointed me so much that I am paralised when i think of moving somwhere else.
Any way despite my terrible fears i wa sthinking about Germany. After England I miss direct people who may be cold at first but at least they do not pretend and once they accept you that it is, but there is no unneccessary pretending and being false. I miss clean enviroment, people who have more in their minds then get drunk and watch footbal. I want to see normal families around me where mother looks after the kids.
I know you going to hate me now for what i have said..I am sorry..this is what i see around myslef every day, and that is why i lost will to live..i just wanted to live in a better place where people have normal and obvious to me principles but also they do not have to strave like i did due to lack of money in my contry..now i do not strave phisicly any more but emotionally and intelectually I am dying here..
I know there are some groups that do not live like this but they are usually reach people and i do not have access to them. in my country you can find smart decent people in all classes, very often the poor once ae ven more decent and have very high morals. here is quite the opposite. the poor English i met are just like mentally disable, they do not hav common sense, they do not want to live better lifes, they just want to have few quid for a drink, cannabis, nice clothes and that is it..