French Children Don’t Throw Food
Jan 19th 2012, 9:29 am
#1
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French Children Don’t Throw Food
Anyone listen to Woman's Hour (BBC Radio4) today ?
An American promoting her book claiming the French were streets ahead in parenting.
However they also had a French lady now living in London who felt that French parents were still very authoritarian
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b019gy9r
An American promoting her book claiming the French were streets ahead in parenting.
However they also had a French lady now living in London who felt that French parents were still very authoritarian
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b019gy9r
Jan 19th 2012, 1:50 pm
#2
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Re: French Children Don’t Throw Food
I don't really know how the French are as parents, but I do know this, that French children do not misbehave in restaurants.
When we lived in the UK, I used to dread restaurants if there were any children in them. Their 'parents' would allow them to run around, to scream, to shout, to throw things, etc, with no thought whatsoever about how anyone else felt. Confronting such 'parents' was futile; they would always defend their 'little darlings' and some would become aggressive.
Here in Lille, though, I don't worry at all when I see children in a restaurant. Unless they are British or American children, they are always well behaved. We can eat our meal in peace.
I don't know if French parents are saints and I should think probably not, but they do get this right.
When we lived in the UK, I used to dread restaurants if there were any children in them. Their 'parents' would allow them to run around, to scream, to shout, to throw things, etc, with no thought whatsoever about how anyone else felt. Confronting such 'parents' was futile; they would always defend their 'little darlings' and some would become aggressive.
Here in Lille, though, I don't worry at all when I see children in a restaurant. Unless they are British or American children, they are always well behaved. We can eat our meal in peace.
I don't know if French parents are saints and I should think probably not, but they do get this right.
Jan 19th 2012, 3:23 pm
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Re: French Children Don’t Throw Food
Interesting post S-i-T, I feel my wife and I would generally agree. Is a partial explanation that children, from a very early age, are included in adult situations, not excluded as I recall in UK (no real experience of US children)? Authoritarian, depends how you wish to define that. Family familiarity and children coached to greet family and strangers alike, which copies the adult behaviour, in the simple form of a hand-shake and bonjour.
At a rock concert in a salle last week, French children from in arms to 9-10 year olds. Concert starting very late. Adults bored so children must also feel bored with nothing happening. Did mayhem ensue, not at all.
In the supermarkets I see parents talking with young children, discussing the foods they are buying and if a youngster goes solo to pick up some treat or other there is no tantrum when mum or dad says no.
At a rock concert in a salle last week, French children from in arms to 9-10 year olds. Concert starting very late. Adults bored so children must also feel bored with nothing happening. Did mayhem ensue, not at all.
In the supermarkets I see parents talking with young children, discussing the foods they are buying and if a youngster goes solo to pick up some treat or other there is no tantrum when mum or dad says no.
Jan 19th 2012, 8:49 pm
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Re: French Children Don’t Throw Food
Interesting post S-i-T, I feel my wife and I would generally agree. Is a partial explanation that children, from a very early age, are included in adult situations, not excluded as I recall in UK (no real experience of US children)? Authoritarian, depends how you wish to define that. Family familiarity and children coached to greet family and strangers alike, which copies the adult behaviour, in the simple form of a hand-shake and bonjour.
At a rock concert in a salle last week, French children from in arms to 9-10 year olds. Concert starting very late. Adults bored so children must also feel bored with nothing happening. Did mayhem ensue, not at all.
In the supermarkets I see parents talking with young children, discussing the foods they are buying and if a youngster goes solo to pick up some treat or other there is no tantrum when mum or dad says no.
At a rock concert in a salle last week, French children from in arms to 9-10 year olds. Concert starting very late. Adults bored so children must also feel bored with nothing happening. Did mayhem ensue, not at all.
In the supermarkets I see parents talking with young children, discussing the foods they are buying and if a youngster goes solo to pick up some treat or other there is no tantrum when mum or dad says no.
The children (boys and girls) are much more included in France.
They have access to the facilities along with the adults in contrast to many clubs in the UK where children (usually boys) of up to 17 or 18 are normally directed to a separate room.
The french children in the clubhouse are warmly greeted by other parents and other adults.
If the children misbehave then they are quickly corrected by the adults present.
On a related point, the women are also more included in the french golf clubs than in the UK. They are treated as equals as distinct from second class citizens in many clubs in the UK.
That is part of what I like about life in France - the more relaxed and inclusive nature of socialising and the family eating and talking together.
It does still happen in the UK but not to the same extent as in France.
Jan 20th 2012, 1:50 pm
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Re: French Children Don’t Throw Food
One of my earliest recollections of exposure to French children was in Beziers. My wife and I had been for a stroll in the town centre and decided to stop for coffee. Suddenly, the little coffee place was overrun with college kids who had obviously just finished school for the day. Given our experiences in UK we both thought it'd be better for us if we drank our drinks and left so as to avoid any loutish behavior. I'm glad to say that there was no need as all of the children behaved excellently. Granted, they all smoked their heads off but they just sat and chatted quietly with their friends drinking coffees and soft drinks.
Jan 20th 2012, 3:12 pm
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Re: French Children Don’t Throw Food
Interesting post S-i-T, I feel my wife and I would generally agree. Is a partial explanation that children, from a very early age, are included in adult situations, not excluded as I recall in UK (no real experience of US children)? Authoritarian, depends how you wish to define that. Family familiarity and children coached to greet family and strangers alike, which copies the adult behaviour, in the simple form of a hand-shake and bonjour.
At a rock concert in a salle last week, French children from in arms to 9-10 year olds. Concert starting very late. Adults bored so children must also feel bored with nothing happening. Did mayhem ensue, not at all.
In the supermarkets I see parents talking with young children, discussing the foods they are buying and if a youngster goes solo to pick up some treat or other there is no tantrum when mum or dad says no.
At a rock concert in a salle last week, French children from in arms to 9-10 year olds. Concert starting very late. Adults bored so children must also feel bored with nothing happening. Did mayhem ensue, not at all.
In the supermarkets I see parents talking with young children, discussing the foods they are buying and if a youngster goes solo to pick up some treat or other there is no tantrum when mum or dad says no.
If my children asked for sweets at the checkout I would tell them in a loud voice that it was not their fault for being tempted, but that of the supermarkets for trying to make money out of harrassed parents, and thus compounding the bad behaviour of children of which we complain
Jan 28th 2012, 12:10 am
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Re: French Children Don’t Throw Food
I would say that french children, some of which start school at 3yrs old, are disciplined heavily and taught to conform from that very young age. My son was in maternelle class and they are all made to sit down, they are taught discipline and woe betide any child that doesn't behave!! It is a large part of school life. It is very strict and it is a routine they come to know. They are allowed to smack the children on the back of the hand and they do!! Even at that young age. I actually saw the maternelle teacher doing it, and yes, i was horrified. Good job it wasn't my child, poor little things don't understand at that age.
I don't really know how the French are as parents, but I do know this, that French children do not misbehave in restaurants.
When we lived in the UK, I used to dread restaurants if there were any children in them. Their 'parents' would allow them to run around, to scream, to shout, to throw things, etc, with no thought whatsoever about how anyone else felt. Confronting such 'parents' was futile; they would always defend their 'little darlings' and some would become aggressive.
Here in Lille, though, I don't worry at all when I see children in a restaurant. Unless they are British or American children, they are always well behaved. We can eat our meal in peace.
I don't know if French parents are saints and I should think probably not, but they do get this right.
When we lived in the UK, I used to dread restaurants if there were any children in them. Their 'parents' would allow them to run around, to scream, to shout, to throw things, etc, with no thought whatsoever about how anyone else felt. Confronting such 'parents' was futile; they would always defend their 'little darlings' and some would become aggressive.
Here in Lille, though, I don't worry at all when I see children in a restaurant. Unless they are British or American children, they are always well behaved. We can eat our meal in peace.
I don't know if French parents are saints and I should think probably not, but they do get this right.
Jan 28th 2012, 8:32 am
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Re: French Children Don’t Throw Food
I would say that french children, some of which start school at 3yrs old, are disciplined heavily and taught to conform from that very young age. My son was in maternelle class and they are all made to sit down, they are taught discipline and woe betide any child that doesn't behave!! It is a large part of school life. It is very strict and it is a routine they come to know. They are allowed to smack the children on the back of the hand and they do!! Even at that young age. I actually saw the maternelle teacher doing it, and yes, i was horrified. Good job it wasn't my child, poor little things don't understand at that age.
When I was around 5 years of age, I decided to play with matches. Why? It's not as if everyone around me hadn't done their best to tell me that this wasn't a good idea. I had learnt in school that it was bad. My parents had told me it was bad. If I had spoken to a random stranger in the street, I would have been told it was a bad idea. So why did I choose to do it? Because I thought that everyone was talking about children who weren't as smart as I was, children who weren't able to handle things the way I was certain that I could. Luckily, I was caught before anything happened. And I was smacked for it.
The smack taught me that it was a bad idea to play with matches. Why? Because I couldn't twist that smack around the way I could do words. It was unambiguous. It said, in a way that no amount of words could do, 'No'. It was a loud and clear message that might well have saved my life and the lives of others.
Jan 28th 2012, 10:05 pm
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Re: French Children Don’t Throw Food
I would say that french children, some of which start school at 3yrs old, are disciplined heavily and taught to conform from that very young age. My son was in maternelle class and they are all made to sit down, they are taught discipline and woe betide any child that doesn't behave!! It is a large part of school life. It is very strict and it is a routine they come to know. They are allowed to smack the children on the back of the hand and they do!! Even at that young age. I actually saw the maternelle teacher doing it, and yes, i was horrified. Good job it wasn't my child, poor little things don't understand at that age.
Jan 29th 2012, 9:20 am
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Re: French Children Don’t Throw Food
Jan 29th 2012, 10:57 am
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Re: French Children Don’t Throw Food
, Aim for folk opening their car doors into traffic as it is the parked cars fault if you smash your mirror on a door being opened. I keep meaning to find a French Code de la Route in English just to clear a few things up. As there is nothing worse than arguing with the Gendarmerie when your wrong
Mar 18th 2012, 9:34 am
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Re: French Children Don’t Throw Food
Hiya, well just to say no they are not allowed to smack the children at School, in maternelle they punish them by puting them in the corner. I have a son who is 10 and a 5yr old daughter who where both born in France. I'm English and my Husband is French. It is true they can be quite strict but I don't think this is a bad thing. A child in France can start school at 2 and a half yrs if they are completely toilet trained. My children don't throw food either! lol
Mar 18th 2012, 8:53 pm
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Re: French Children Don’t Throw Food
glad to hear that as a criminologist i disagree with that type of punishment or their way of being strict,this doesnt make a difference at all.
words and actions are just as good..I wouldnt accept anyone doing this to my child even if a tap as they say..Perhaps we should go around tapping people when they misbehave.
words and actions are just as good..I wouldnt accept anyone doing this to my child even if a tap as they say..Perhaps we should go around tapping people when they misbehave.
Mar 18th 2012, 11:05 pm
#14
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Re: French Children Don’t Throw Food
I think the central point here was made well up-thread. Kids in France aren't treated as annoyances, but rather as fully fledged members of the (extended) family.
As such they are allowed to express themselves as children do, but get used to dealing with adult contexts, as well as with their peers.
Whether or not they get a literal slap on the wrist now and again would only interest a British (or perhaps a Canadian) criminologist.
As such they are allowed to express themselves as children do, but get used to dealing with adult contexts, as well as with their peers.
Whether or not they get a literal slap on the wrist now and again would only interest a British (or perhaps a Canadian) criminologist.
Mar 19th 2012, 5:50 pm
#15
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Re: French Children Don’t Throw Food
following that broadcast,I've read an aticle
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandsty...rance-children
I liked " In general, I never mind the differences. For example, if we have an anglophone child round to play, I will assume that the anglophone parent will stand over the child quite a lot and interact almost constantly with what they are doing; whereas a French parent will leave them to it unless someone is bleeding, or, more likely, slow the car only long enough to hurl the child in our general direction."
and "Helping with your child's schoolwork, too, is an odd concept to a French parent. Teachers here are highly trained, well-paid and still built to be scary. They are clear about the parent's place (silent, out of the way, grateful). Even if that were not the case, it is very difficult to complete your six-year-old's devoirs when his devoirs is writing out in words the numbers one to 100. Then back again in reverse. "
and also found
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2012...ren-dont-throw
and
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisf...ench-parenting
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandsty...rance-children
I liked " In general, I never mind the differences. For example, if we have an anglophone child round to play, I will assume that the anglophone parent will stand over the child quite a lot and interact almost constantly with what they are doing; whereas a French parent will leave them to it unless someone is bleeding, or, more likely, slow the car only long enough to hurl the child in our general direction."
and "Helping with your child's schoolwork, too, is an odd concept to a French parent. Teachers here are highly trained, well-paid and still built to be scary. They are clear about the parent's place (silent, out of the way, grateful). Even if that were not the case, it is very difficult to complete your six-year-old's devoirs when his devoirs is writing out in words the numbers one to 100. Then back again in reverse. "
and also found
http://www.guardian.co.uk/books/2012...ren-dont-throw
and
http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisf...ench-parenting