amy.smithyy93

Hi everyone.

My names Amy, I'm 19, I live in England, UK and I'm a single mum to my 6 month old baby. I have no job or college history but I did get good GCSE results. I have about £400 in the bank.

I would like to move to France or Italy. I don't mind which. I would just like a new start in a new country, hopefully where my baby can have a better life. I would like to be employed and be able to provide for my baby myself. I would like to live in a place where it has a British expat community.

I was wondering if anyone could help?
I would like:
- opinions on my plan: good or bad idea?
- any advice? I need it!
- suggestions of good towns to move in to, which have a British expat community.
- advice in looking for work and housing etc?
- advice on whether I will be able to do this financially?

Thanks, I just really want to do this x

Sue

Hi Amy,

Welcome to BE. I don't live in France, (I'm in the US) but wondered if you have family/friends in either France or Italy? I'm not trying to put you off but moving to a new country with no one to help you when you have a child is really very tough. Do you speak the language, who is going to help with childcare? etc etc. It's an awful lot to deal with when you have no support.

dmu

Hi, sorry, but I agree with Sue - the problems of coming to Continental Europe without a second language, work skills, financial support from the country, knowing nobody. I'm thinking of your baby who certainly wouldn't have a better life under such circumstances.
At the moment unemployment rates in Southern Europe are VERY high and we're still in an economic crisis.
I'd advise you to remain in the UK and enjoy all the social benefits that you are getting, which you wouldn't get here. I'd also make enquiries about getting permission from the father to leave the UK. Learn the language of the country you'd like to live in, train for a job, and in a few years, reconsider a move.
Sorry this isn't the answer you were hoping for, but I'm being realistic. Even if you didn't have a baby, I'd still advise against.

Ka Ora!

Welcome to the Forum, France has one similarity to the USA and that is it's not a fun place to be when you are out of work. Unless you have worked here in France for some time you would be entitled to no unemployment benefits here. Unless you can portability a UK benefit to here. £400 would not go very far. I wish you luck in exploring your possibilities once again welcome to the Forum

smithyandlisa

Hi Amy,

I don't want to rain on your parade or your dreams, but in your situation I wouldn't even be considering a move. Your £400 could almost be eaten up by your travelling expenses. Do you have somewhere to stay when you arrive?

You're a young woman with a whole life ahead of her, but at the moment, I reckon you just have a beautiful dream. That's a good thing, and is maybe something you can start to work towards. Do lots of research, planning, saving money, and learning the language/s.

Perhaps in a couple of years time you'll be in a much better position to make that leap.

I wish you luck whatever you decide.

amy.smithyy93

Thanks all I'm glad you've been realistic with me.

I have basic French, the father doesn't have PR and after seeking legal advice I'm allowed to take my baby, as he has no real part in the baby's life and basically threatens and abuses me. I'm scared living where I am, I need some way out.

At the minute j have no support, no family or friends. I have my dad but he works away lots and he works 6-8 when he's home so I get no childcare help as it is.

I have slight experience in administration/office work. I did a few days work experience in one with the aim to get an apprenticeship but had to stop as I got pregnant and was really ill. I also have a weeks work experience at a school, so I have some form of experience, but not any job history.

Thanks x

Sue

Amy,

Have you thought about trying elsewhere in the UK?

cyrian

Hi Amy
In the UK, try to find local support groups.
Have you a local Citizens Advice Bureau?
They may be able to point you in the right direction.
You really would be better staying within the UK for support and benefits.
Hope you get it sorted.

amy.smithyy93

I was considering moving about 5/6 hours away from my current home, however I'm scared because my parents said if I do that my baby's father would be able to get 50/50 custody and just take her etc, so I'm not sure :/ I don't know.
I may go to CAB next week and see what they say x

dennerlymum

Take care!

mitsi

Hi Amy

I really wish you well and hope you can get support. I'm sure there are groups out there like Citizen's advice that can help, but moving to a different country at this stage is not an option. If you are lonely now you can guarantee that wouldn't improve moving to a foreign country - most ex pats here in France tend to be older too. A good idea to learn the language though - try charity shops for books and tapes.

Certainly in France the cost of living is much higher now than UK and you will not be entitled to any benefits.

I'm not really sure about the legalities of moving within the UK and custody but I would certainly look towards moving away and starting in a new area if you are that unhappy. I'm sure there must be other single mums out there that are in a similar position. Try your health visitor as they will often set up the groups themselves. Try www.mumsnet.com for practical advise in your area.



As for work, unless you can find a job with childcare I guess you are going to find it tough. I'm afraid a few days work experience won't get far these days.

Good luck

jonkemp

Hi Amy, I have to agree with others here, but one chance might be to get a job as a Nanny. These jobs usually come with accomodation and the right familiy might be happy for you to bring up your child with theirs. Good Luck.