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Now the fire bans over......
And i havn't done one of these for a while (a stupid dooozy that is!!) mainly cos i've been working and not being quite so stupid, but today i was!!
Picture the scene.... We spend weeks moving about 50 tonnes of wood from the bottom of our garden that the kind council men dropped over the fence (about a year ago, but i can't find the thread) This task has been gargantuan and has left us with a pile of crap where our lawn used to be. So i decided to do the right thing as it was autumn, and build a bonfire..... ( i have even got my slippers on to add to the authenticity) I was very careful and did it all properly with layers of paper, dry stuff etc. Anyways the paper kept blowing out and i got impatient ( :rolleyes: ) and asked HUP if he would kindly place a bit of petrol on the pile. His idea of a bit was about a bowser's worth, but he stood well back and put the can well out of the way. I light my trusty bit of paper and bend down to put the flame to a bit of paper, quite forgetting that i didn't have to shelter the flame as i had been doing previously. There was a resounding WOOOOMMMPHHH noise and a great deal of heat up my left side. I realised straight away that my arm was now a depilatory dream and was as smooth as the proverbial babies but. What i didn't realise till a short while ago was that the left side of my hair is all singed and is breaking off and so are my eyelashes, i look ferkin ridiculous. Oh well, could be much worse i suppose :scared: |
Re: Now the fire bans over......
As soon as I read petrol I put my head in my hands & thought Ohhhh s**t. :D
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Re: Now the fire bans over......
Originally Posted by Bordy
As soon as I read petrol I put my head in my hands & thought Ohhhh s**t. :D
me too!!! pmsl!!!!!! hevs, you are an absolute treasure!!!!! my kids think im barmy cos im just howling with laughter! - you should write a book............. :D :D :D ps, remember reading the logs thread.....wasnt it around the time of the chainsaw thread or is that one and the same??? :D |
Re: Now the fire bans over......
Originally Posted by hevs
And i havn't done one of these for a while (a stupid dooozy that is!!) mainly cos i've been working and not being quite so stupid, but today i was!!
Picture the scene.... We spend weeks moving about 50 tonnes of wood from the bottom of our garden that the kind council men dropped over the fence (about a year ago, but i can't find the thread) This task has been gargantuan and has left us with a pile of crap where our lawn used to be. So i decided to do the right thing as it was autumn, and build a bonfire..... ( i have even got my slippers on to add to the authenticity) I was very careful and did it all properly with layers of paper, dry stuff etc. Anyways the paper kept blowing out and i got impatient ( :rolleyes: ) and asked HUP if he would kindly place a bit of petrol on the pile. His idea of a bit was about a bowser's worth, but he stood well back and put the can well out of the way. I light my trusty bit of paper and bend down to put the flame to a bit of paper, quite forgetting that i didn't have to shelter the flame as i had been doing previously. There was a resounding WOOOOMMMPHHH noise and a great deal of heat up my left side. I realised straight away that my arm was now a depilatory dream and was as smooth as the proverbial babies but. What i didn't realise till a short while ago was that the left side of my hair is all singed and is breaking off and so are my eyelashes, i look ferkin ridiculous. Oh well, could be much worse i suppose :scared: You could always join the south of England with their water restrictions, I thought I had left all that in Oz! M :) |
Re: Now the fire bans over......
Originally Posted by hevs
And i havn't done one of these for a while (a stupid dooozy that is!!) mainly cos i've been working and not being quite so stupid, but today i was!!
Picture the scene.... We spend weeks moving about 50 tonnes of wood from the bottom of our garden that the kind council men dropped over the fence (about a year ago, but i can't find the thread) This task has been gargantuan and has left us with a pile of crap where our lawn used to be. So i decided to do the right thing as it was autumn, and build a bonfire..... ( i have even got my slippers on to add to the authenticity) I was very careful and did it all properly with layers of paper, dry stuff etc. Anyways the paper kept blowing out and i got impatient ( :rolleyes: ) and asked HUP if he would kindly place a bit of petrol on the pile. His idea of a bit was about a bowser's worth, but he stood well back and put the can well out of the way. I light my trusty bit of paper and bend down to put the flame to a bit of paper, quite forgetting that i didn't have to shelter the flame as i had been doing previously. There was a resounding WOOOOMMMPHHH noise and a great deal of heat up my left side. I realised straight away that my arm was now a depilatory dream and was as smooth as the proverbial babies but. What i didn't realise till a short while ago was that the left side of my hair is all singed and is breaking off and so are my eyelashes, i look ferkin ridiculous. Oh well, could be much worse i suppose :scared: |
Re: Now the fire bans over......
OMG, what idiot let you loose with a match! :scared: And as for HUP - he should know better than aid you in such exploits!!
You won't be a good advert for the salon this week will you, they'll probably make you wear a bag over your head! :eek: |
Re: Now the fire bans over......
Blimey Hevs! :eek: :D
Glad to hear you're not toast; take care. :) |
Re: Now the fire bans over......
Originally Posted by hevs
And i havn't done one of these for a while (a stupid dooozy that is!!) mainly cos i've been working and not being quite so stupid, but today i was!!
Picture the scene.... We spend weeks moving about 50 tonnes of wood from the bottom of our garden that the kind council men dropped over the fence (about a year ago, but i can't find the thread) This task has been gargantuan and has left us with a pile of crap where our lawn used to be. So i decided to do the right thing as it was autumn, and build a bonfire..... ( i have even got my slippers on to add to the authenticity) I was very careful and did it all properly with layers of paper, dry stuff etc. Anyways the paper kept blowing out and i got impatient ( :rolleyes: ) and asked HUP if he would kindly place a bit of petrol on the pile. His idea of a bit was about a bowser's worth, but he stood well back and put the can well out of the way. I light my trusty bit of paper and bend down to put the flame to a bit of paper, quite forgetting that i didn't have to shelter the flame as i had been doing previously. There was a resounding WOOOOMMMPHHH noise and a great deal of heat up my left side. I realised straight away that my arm was now a depilatory dream and was as smooth as the proverbial babies but. What i didn't realise till a short while ago was that the left side of my hair is all singed and is breaking off and so are my eyelashes, i look ferkin ridiculous. Oh well, could be much worse i suppose :scared: Glad you are still alive Kala |
Re: Now the fire bans over......
Holly Poo Thought you Oxfordshore bumpkins would ave known better than dat ooooww aaarrrrr :p
Did the very same thing with my dads old wood burning heater for his green house worse cos it was enclosed and the woooooohhhhhppppp was directed straight at my head i didnt even get close with the naked flame. Frightend the ship out of me aint played with petrol since, and Woooooohhhhhhppppppp is a realy good discription of the sound and the smell of singed hair mmmmm lovely eu de farier. Fizz laughed until her sides split :D Glad Ur Ok H. |
Re: Now the fire bans over......
Originally Posted by tiredwithtwins
me too!!! pmsl!!!!!! hevs, you are an absolute treasure!!!!!
my kids think im barmy cos im just howling with laughter! - you should write a book............. :D :D :D ps, remember reading the logs thread.....wasnt it around the time of the chainsaw thread or is that one and the same??? :D And dont for get the renovations with the little puff of smoke comming from between the timbers......:D Still chuckle now ;) |
Re: Now the fire bans over......
Originally Posted by hevs
And i havn't done one of these for a while (a stupid dooozy that is!!) mainly cos i've been working and not being quite so stupid, but today i was!!
Picture the scene.... We spend weeks moving about 50 tonnes of wood from the bottom of our garden that the kind council men dropped over the fence (about a year ago, but i can't find the thread) This task has been gargantuan and has left us with a pile of crap where our lawn used to be. So i decided to do the right thing as it was autumn, and build a bonfire..... ( i have even got my slippers on to add to the authenticity) I was very careful and did it all properly with layers of paper, dry stuff etc. Anyways the paper kept blowing out and i got impatient ( :rolleyes: ) and asked HUP if he would kindly place a bit of petrol on the pile. His idea of a bit was about a bowser's worth, but he stood well back and put the can well out of the way. I light my trusty bit of paper and bend down to put the flame to a bit of paper, quite forgetting that i didn't have to shelter the flame as i had been doing previously. There was a resounding WOOOOMMMPHHH noise and a great deal of heat up my left side. I realised straight away that my arm was now a depilatory dream and was as smooth as the proverbial babies but. What i didn't realise till a short while ago was that the left side of my hair is all singed and is breaking off and so are my eyelashes, i look ferkin ridiculous. Oh well, could be much worse i suppose :scared: In hindsight it might have been easier to get the chainsaw operating. Next time maybe? :D Kerosene is far better than petrol for assisting the starting of fires, less explosive gases. I see you've dropped the Bombers as your avatar. Your team doing better? Glad to hear you're alright though. :beer: |
Re: Now the fire bans over......
Originally Posted by Bordy
As soon as I read petrol I put my head in my hands & thought Ohhhh s**t. :D
It still brings a smile to my face as I recall the red and orange petals of flame blossoming out towards Hev as she dances away from it. It wasn't that poetic belieive me :D. |
Re: Now the fire bans over......
Originally Posted by HUP
We were sat indoors watching the slaughter (I mean the Bombers V Ade :D ). We began discussing the incident and I said it was a prime case for a BE thread.
It still brings a smile to my face as I recall the red and orange petals of flame blossoming out towards Hev as she dances away from it. It wasn't that poetic belieive me :D. What the bombers getting thrashed or the fire? :D I know. Saw dad light a fire once with what said on the can "kero" but was actually petrol. Flame shot out around his ankles, but he was about seven feet away when it ignited. :scared: Made him jump. |
Re: Now the fire bans over......
Poll, it started here
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...4&page=6&pp=15 :rolleyes: Thanks guys, glad i made you giggle, i just gave my face a good scrub and i'm now missing a few eyebrows too:( |
Re: Now the fire bans over......
Originally Posted by hevs
Poll, it started here
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...4&page=6&pp=15 :rolleyes: Thanks guys, glad i made you giggle, i just gave my face a good scrub and i'm now missing a few eyebrows too:( How are the eyebrows?? :rolleyes: |
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