7 years and into year 8
Apr 11th 2018, 2:19 am
#1
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Thread Starter
Joined: Jun 2004
Location: Bridgenorth Ontario
Posts: 47
7 years and into year 8
Hi
So this isn’t meant as a poor me story, rather than an example of how life can twist. Essentially into year 5 we are settled, I had a great job, my wife had got work and the kids were in a great school. Over those 5 years my wife found the move to Canada a culture shock and struggled with some cultural isolation despite having a family of brits we had known for 10+ years living nearby. She got stuck in a mindset that she wasn’t happy and wouldn’t talk about it, I guess feeling like she didn’t want to actually say ‘I want to go home’ and waste all that effort. Instead she asked for divorce opting to at least live on her own terms in a new country. Divorce so far from home was very hard on the both of us and I don’t think she quite got the outcome she expected as I fought for, and got 50/50 custody of our kids, which tied her down to this area. 3 years on and we have worked things out, our kids are happy again and we co operate with each other’s lives because we simply don’t have that extensive support network that we had in the UK. In fairness I think we always had the cracks in our relationship and being out here exposed them.
My job has gone from strength to strength, and I now have a Canadian girlfriend. Ex has a boyfriend, and our lives are slowly drifting apart as the kids get more independent. New family make up and values mean I’m on a different trajectory than I thought, but im staying here enjoying my kids and all that this amazing country has to offer.
A life less ordinary is what I wanted, and got....
So this isn’t meant as a poor me story, rather than an example of how life can twist. Essentially into year 5 we are settled, I had a great job, my wife had got work and the kids were in a great school. Over those 5 years my wife found the move to Canada a culture shock and struggled with some cultural isolation despite having a family of brits we had known for 10+ years living nearby. She got stuck in a mindset that she wasn’t happy and wouldn’t talk about it, I guess feeling like she didn’t want to actually say ‘I want to go home’ and waste all that effort. Instead she asked for divorce opting to at least live on her own terms in a new country. Divorce so far from home was very hard on the both of us and I don’t think she quite got the outcome she expected as I fought for, and got 50/50 custody of our kids, which tied her down to this area. 3 years on and we have worked things out, our kids are happy again and we co operate with each other’s lives because we simply don’t have that extensive support network that we had in the UK. In fairness I think we always had the cracks in our relationship and being out here exposed them.
My job has gone from strength to strength, and I now have a Canadian girlfriend. Ex has a boyfriend, and our lives are slowly drifting apart as the kids get more independent. New family make up and values mean I’m on a different trajectory than I thought, but im staying here enjoying my kids and all that this amazing country has to offer.
A life less ordinary is what I wanted, and got....
Apr 16th 2018, 12:51 pm
#2
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Joined: Nov 2009
Location: Somewhere in Hamilton, ON
Posts: 4,307
Re: 7 years and into year 8
Hi
So this isn’t meant as a poor me story, rather than an example of how life can twist. Essentially into year 5 we are settled, I had a great job, my wife had got work and the kids were in a great school. Over those 5 years my wife found the move to Canada a culture shock and struggled with some cultural isolation despite having a family of brits we had known for 10+ years living nearby. She got stuck in a mindset that she wasn’t happy and wouldn’t talk about it, I guess feeling like she didn’t want to actually say ‘I want to go home’ and waste all that effort. Instead she asked for divorce opting to at least live on her own terms in a new country. Divorce so far from home was very hard on the both of us and I don’t think she quite got the outcome she expected as I fought for, and got 50/50 custody of our kids, which tied her down to this area. 3 years on and we have worked things out, our kids are happy again and we co operate with each other’s lives because we simply don’t have that extensive support network that we had in the UK. In fairness I think we always had the cracks in our relationship and being out here exposed them.
My job has gone from strength to strength, and I now have a Canadian girlfriend. Ex has a boyfriend, and our lives are slowly drifting apart as the kids get more independent. New family make up and values mean I’m on a different trajectory than I thought, but im staying here enjoying my kids and all that this amazing country has to offer.
A life less ordinary is what I wanted, and got....
So this isn’t meant as a poor me story, rather than an example of how life can twist. Essentially into year 5 we are settled, I had a great job, my wife had got work and the kids were in a great school. Over those 5 years my wife found the move to Canada a culture shock and struggled with some cultural isolation despite having a family of brits we had known for 10+ years living nearby. She got stuck in a mindset that she wasn’t happy and wouldn’t talk about it, I guess feeling like she didn’t want to actually say ‘I want to go home’ and waste all that effort. Instead she asked for divorce opting to at least live on her own terms in a new country. Divorce so far from home was very hard on the both of us and I don’t think she quite got the outcome she expected as I fought for, and got 50/50 custody of our kids, which tied her down to this area. 3 years on and we have worked things out, our kids are happy again and we co operate with each other’s lives because we simply don’t have that extensive support network that we had in the UK. In fairness I think we always had the cracks in our relationship and being out here exposed them.
My job has gone from strength to strength, and I now have a Canadian girlfriend. Ex has a boyfriend, and our lives are slowly drifting apart as the kids get more independent. New family make up and values mean I’m on a different trajectory than I thought, but im staying here enjoying my kids and all that this amazing country has to offer.
A life less ordinary is what I wanted, and got....
Divorce at the best of times is tough (been there, worn the t shirt) but sounds like all of you have come out of it ok.
I understand about the need to still depend on each other. On a couple of occasions in our 7 years we have fallen out big time and although we have some good friends I did have a “oh shit” moment realizing there was nobody I wanted to break down in front of.
Hope your next 8 years are slightly less eventful 😎
