MillieF

Oh what a very sad post TJ. I do feel for you and your family. I do tend to agree firmly with Helcat and the others who feel that if you could just hang on in there for a bit longer things would definitely look up. This time last year there were a few similar posts, and I thought at the time that this is just the very worst time of year for anything - entrenched in winter, a very quiet time commercially and employment wise and spring seems so far away, also you are just hitting that period where the novelty of a new country has lost it's shine and you are emotionally knackered after your move. Cash buffers are one thing, but the psyche takes a hell of a beating moving with kids and animals and attempting to keep your marriage supportive - I wish CIC could factor in a mental cushion too! Are you still set on leaving at the end on the month TJ? Do you have someone trustworthy, and emotionally sanguine who you and your husband could maybe talk to about this - when you are in the poop it can be difficult to look at you best options because you are so wound up fighting the fire, there may perhaps be a better option? I really would start by by a discussion with the bank - it's in nobody's best interests for you and your family to fail. Very best of luck.

helcat12

I think I pretty much said that earlier.

Yes, some people are stupid I don't think that is news to anyone.
Some others are just naive and foolish.

Some, like me, are so scared of failing (partly because we can't afford to) that they check everything multiple times and are to others' eyes probably too 'safe' before they make the move.

Once you are an adult and you know how the world works, you have to take responsibility for your own life and if you have children, then for their lives as well.

If people were honest with themselves, they could see that they did make mistakes and that they didn't consider things well enough.
A lot don't, they just blame other people for the position they find themselves in.

ExKiwilass

Are we done with the self-righteous lecturing yet?

Geordie Lass

I think when someone is in a position like the OP if you can't say anything nice and helpful - say nothing.

They know all the things they should have done differently, it's not helpful to point it out is it? It's helpful to point to things that might *help* them with the situation they are in - not pick faults with what they have done, how much they gambled etc.

Give the OP a break eh?

Tangram

I don't think so. Ms HelCat will be back to impart more wisdom soon I'm sure.

TaffCan

Wow, did you not come with money?

Can your husband get another job? even if its shelf stacking for now..... my friend emigrated and went back after 3 weeks, i just dont get it......

Good luck!

snowcandy

Spot on Geordie Lass. I think there are plenty of us who have tried to be helpful to the OP, hopefully she will be able to take something from it, as may others who find themselves in an unfortunate situation.

One thing we have found since arriving here, is that most Canadians do not judge when others suddenly, through no fault of their own, find themselves in difficult financial circumstances.

Just after we arrived in Canada last year, a teacher at our childrens' Elementary school, discovered his son had a tumour. The school and the community rallied around and the amount of gifts and money that flowed in was amazing. That would never have happened at their school in the UK. It would have been a case of "sorry, bad luck, but I'm not giving them my money"(not that they would have asked)

A family in our neighbourhood lost everything 10 days ago in a house fire, there has been a similar outpouring.

Others who have sat on and judged on this post would do well to take on board a bit of that Canadian compassion. They never know when they may need it themselves. Just saying....

marika g

Yup!! Well said to both of you Geordielass and snowcandy....I've read a couple of posts not just on this thread but others too and I only jumped back on the forum after joining ages ago! I nearly 'unsubscribed' because it's been hard to stomach some of the judgemental, assuming and quite frankly bullying opinions of some others on the website.

This forum is suppose to be to help people make friends, contacts, network and get information, maybe a bit of advise and learn about other peoples' experiences....I didn't expect some people to be so opinionated about other peoples' 'stuff' ......maybe time for others to 'check' themselves and do a bit of looking inside because as most of us know .....no ones perfect!! We have to make mistakes in order to learn!

iaink

There is always the option of learning from other people too, which I think is probably the intention of some of the harsher sounding posts in this thread, to spell out the dangers to anyone else considering a move.

If you cant deal with other people sticking their nose in its probably not a good idea to post on a public forum, you sometimes have to take the rough with the smooth.

Still, reiterating the same thing over and over again isnt helpful or supportive of the OP, I agree there! But as they decided about two pages ago that they were going ahead with moving back to the UK its all a bit of a moot point now anyway.

AllyS

Well said marika g...

A bit of banter does no one any harm, but I agree that at times, it is hard to take on the chin some of the remarks that have been dished out.

marika g

I hear what you are saying I have just simply found some people's opinions to be rather judgemental and attacking rather than helpful to their situation...like geordielass said...if you can't say anything nice or helpful......

But like you say it's done now anyway....it is a shame but good luck to them!

Geordie Lass

+1. I usually stay out of the drama on the boards but even I had to speak up on this one as I thought it was getting particularly UNhelpful!

__TJ__

No worried about the banter it's no problem. I'm happy to hear any suggestions if they might stop me getting on that plane.
To reiterate, dh can only work for one company and they lied to us and asked my husband to drive something his license didn't cover and they knew it. He refused and politely told them he couldn't work there any more.
He has another job lined up, and I'm still now searching for any work anywhere local enough that I don't waste all the wages in fuel. Doing anything but there's nothing -or that's what I'm being told when I go in there anyway.

marika g

Yeah I hear ya...I was asked at a job I had a while ago to drive a vehicle that had a speedometer that didn't work...I refused too because at the end of the day it's my license at risk! Funny enough I lost my job shortly after that!

I hope things work out for you guys! Good luck with it all!

Sammypeeps

Really pleased to hear that you are still fighting to stay - good for you! I was told there was no jobs either and I got one eventually, just try and stay positive, I know that is difficult but you made it this far!! Good luck!!