Jackandvictor

Hi
Well kids and I are here six months now...hubbie came three months before us, just in time for the lovely summer weather in BC!

Most Canniversaries chat about how much people love their new lives. I am obviously on a slow burn as I can't say I love it yet. It has been a tough winter as I was out of work and spent the days being an at home mum, something I am not used to. I usually worked but had to resign from my position as we thought we were going to get our medical clearance about four weeks after our medicals. Unfortunately I got held up for four months which meant our family was split with my husband renting here and me paying the mortgage at home. Having no income depleted savings I had during this time. Household contents were shipped so we lived in our empty house for 4 months with no toys for the kids. Boy it was a long and wet Scottish summer!

Then we arrived just as the West Coast rains began....perhaps my timings unsettled me too! I miss lots about home but things are slowly improving. I have now secured a casual hours position with a private therapy company; same job title but different client group. I loved my NHS job at home and it was a wrench to leave it behind. I am hoping this will help settle me into life here. It's not my beloved job but it gives me new challenges to get my teeth into.

Finding friends has been hard and I haven't really made any close friends so far. I have been attending Strongstart at the local elementary just to meet parents. I find people superficial and hard to break into already firm friendships. I have been trying...honestly!

The kids have found making friends so much easier! They are happy here but wouldn't say no to going back. Life is easier academically for them but this has led to boredom at times, as lots has already been addressed in the UK.

My husband loves it here which makes me feel bad as I can't get the same delight from living here! Perhaps it is because he has moved to a less stressful, better paying position here so he's happy! Thank goodness as he was in a rut at home and hated his job

All in all, our experience has been a mixed bag. I am definitely the least lover of Canada. I don't dislike it...I just haven't "got it" yet. Perhaps give me another 6 months and I might like it...that's what my husband is hoping for! There are times...mainly when the sun is out when I feel I could stay here.

I just hope this doesn't come across negative cos it isn't meant to! I am undecided about our move here so far. I am just hoping I am not the only one feeling like this! When I read the threads most people love it...just thought I would give a different perspective!

luvmeboys

Hiya E, wait til the weather gets a bit better and bring the family up to Shawnigan for a BBq!!

Glyn x

Jackandvictor

Thanks Glynis! Will keep you to that invite!

luvmeboys

looking forward to it, I'll wear a carnation so you know who I am x

ann m

Sounds normal to me!

Satisfactory work makes an enormous difference to your mindset and your self worth - especially if you felt valued and competent in your last role. Very good luck with that - it does take time to find the right opportunity.

And as for friends - that can be tough too. Keep plugging away - you will click with some people soon. Use every opportunity to meet new people or chat to people. It only takes one or two to improve your life so much.

Best wishes. And hey, summer soon!

MillieF

Not a bit negative, I'm with Ann, it's totally normal. The winter was bloody horrible...If I was in charge of CIC I would insist that everybody arrived in Canada in springtime, to ensure they didn't all rush off mid January. I'm coming up to nine months here, and by February I was a wreck, I'd have chucked the towel in willingly.

It seems sometimes that moving to Canada can be good for a family as a whole, but not for any of the individuals in it in particular.

We can start to look forward now the spring is here!

JonboyE

Please believe me that I am not trying to be critical of you personally. I read and hear this from many people.

I remember as a teenage boy that coming on too strong was frequently off-putting to girls. Being friendly but cool won the girl, not "please, please, please will you go out with me." It is not that different being a new immigrant. The people you meet have established lives, networks and friends. They don't need you. Imagine in the UK if new people moved into the street. You might call round and say hello and welcome to the street but if you don't have anything in common you won't go out of your way to be a friend to them.

Making friends is about meeting people you “click” with. It will happen in time. The more people you can get to meet the more likely it will be to happen. I think you can help yourself by finding places where there are other new immigrants (not just Brits) rather than established families. I have mentioned this (several times) before but night school worked for me. 90% of the class were new immigrants looking to get established, both professionally and socially. I made two life-long friends and many business contacts in the first class I went to.

In forty years in the UK I met a lot of people. I knew many I was happy to share a beer with but could count on one hand, with fingers to spare, people I thought were true friends. Canada is no different.

ann m

Good post Jon

Siouxie

Give it time.. you built your friendships up in the UK over many years and it's not going to happen overnight here.

I agree with Jonboy wholeheartedly; you need get out and meet people - the people you initially meet may not be lifelong friends but they know people and one of them might be.

I have 3 very good friends who I know I can call on for anything - but it took a few years to find them and build the relationship.

I think in a lot of ways it's harder for the one 'left at home' to acclimatise - the worker and the children are assimilated through their respective workplace and school, meet people and build relationships. For those at home it's kind of 'ok, we are here now - now what?' - but it won't last forever.

Take a deep breath, don't expect too much of yourself (or others) and most of all give it time.

Stay strong!

rugbymum

Having avoided the expats site for so long as the irrepressible and sometimes aggressive insistence of some previous members about how i would be insane not to LOVE Canada and everything about it and how i really should HATE the UK, put me off .......it is so refreshing to hear total honesty from so many people posting on this site today. I have many of the same positive and negative concerns and am still trying to make my mind up just where I stand on my families emigration to Canada in 2010.

Thank you everyone. I shall follow your stories with interest.

huddersfieldlass

Hi rugbymum

So agree with your post! I suppose you have to remember there are a lot of 'don't rain on my parade' people on BE! They are not just on this forum they are prevalent in my local expat commuinty! By this I mean we hate the UK we love Canada movement! Makes me laugh - ever heard of a balanced view! One friend even suggested we should move here just because of the free coffee at the toddler club and free parade at thanksgiving and Christmas! As a northern lass I tend to say things as they are - warts 'n all! It does upset some people and I do get some under table nudges from my hubbie!

The worst comment which I hate is 'its a better life for the kids!'. No - it's just different.

Keep smiling - I have learnt to get on with life and try to stop myself living in the past reminiscing about life in the UK! Kids are happy here (they were happy in the UK also) but it was myself who instigated the move to Canada and I couldn't turn their world upside down again for my own reasons. I guess I have to lump it!

rugbymum

Bless you Huddersfield lass, keep on saying it how it is. Sounds like you and me are cut from the same cloth!!
Rugby mum.

Siouxie

@huddersfieldlass and @rugbymum

It would be better for the two of you to have this conversation between yourselves or else start a new thread of your own, rather than hijacking an older thread to which the OP has not responded in more than a month.

Thread closed.