JBJ14

Christ, this is all sounding a bit of a concern. I know there is bullying everywhere, but I was under the impression that Canadians apologised when you bumped into them.

Haven't heard much about this kind of thing until now, is it a real problem over there?

Geordie Lass

The grown ups certainly do.

I am reserving judgement right now. The principal is now involved in my son's case so we will see. I have now told him if the principal speaking to this child is not enough then he is to absolutely crack him one if he gets hit again and I will take the flack. I've said if he gets into trouble to tell them that his mummy gave him permission and for them to call me.

He said to me in the car last night he was "done with being Mr Nice Guy"... he's only 7!

lilybilly101

Sorry to jump here...I'm back home in the UK after living on Vancouver Island for 7 years. We found the school system had the same problems. My niece came from a school in London and was told she was working too hard and getting too ahead. She was 5/6! Her parents put her in French immersion so she could be challenged which worked out much better.

I was a teacher there and I saw lots of lack luster teaching. The kids were SO relaxed, drinking eating in class etc...because there were few expectations of them. Also, teaching contracts are based on seniority so there can be a high turn over of staff or staff waiting to retire and treading water...coasting.

There are positives to the system but I found it very difficult to be part of such low standards and I became bored and frustrated by it....eventually came home.....now looking at international teaching jobs in Malaysia! Lordy....

I would kick the principal's bum, (go the superintendent), get an anti-group together and insist on seeing a bullying policy. I asked what the discipline policy was in 2 schools and they didn't have one! Naively I thought this was because they all behaved and did their homework.

In the Comox Valley there have been 5 suicides in a very short space of time. It was covered up by SD71 until a parent went to the media. Frightening. Not trying to scare anyone but it needs addressing and these principals need their own 'butts' kicking!!!!!

Hope things get better Geordie. Awful situation.

bettyboo67

Hi, dont normally post here as like Lillybilly I moved back to UK from BC last yearafter 5 years in Canada. We also had bullying problems with my oldest son when he was in grade 2 and we were extremely frustrated with our Principals inability/unwillingness to confront the bullies He was more like a politician than a headteacher and rarely gave a straught answer to a question. We had been tod before he came that he was well known for improving discipline within his schools!!

In the end we approached the parents directly who luckliy we already knew and it stopped immediately. Maybe this may work if the parents are approachable. We thought very carefully about what we were going to say so as not to make them defensive.

I don't think bullying is any more prevelant in Canadian schools but there is this strange reluctance to tackle the issue head on for fear of upsetting the bullies or their parents.

My son had an issue in his new school in the UK with a girl in his year spreading rumours that he was gay, I informed his (very formidable) head of year and she put a stop to it straight away.

PS. Waves to Lillybilly, we may be heading to Singapore next year as my OH is already out there (applogies for hijacking thread op)

Lucky Bird

In what way was it covered up?

Geordie Lass

Well the principal stepped in and so far so good. No more incidents.

The kid was giving me the "are you looking at me?" look the other day (after he had been very rude to his mum when she was asking him about it) so I was having none of that... I gave him the look (I call it "the glare") I give my son when he is starting to step out of line in public...

He hasn't done it since....

JBJ14

The 'Glare' ... I think that ability comes to every woman during childbirth, enough to scare anyone away!

Glad it worked out, must be horrible seeing your kids being put through that!

Geordie Lass

I think it comes from having to live with men....

Thanks! Yeah it was awful... but everything seems ok now...

Linlaz

Hi all, interesting read of your thread with the 'settling in, followed by bullying' etc, glad the bullying seems to straighten itself out. On that note, as a parent, I would have zero tolerence to 'bullying'. Every school Principal has a responsibility to deal with it appropriately, if the initial steps of going through the teacher have not been effective. Failing the principal, there's always the 'Superintendent', I certainly would not even think twice to worry about my any rapport with the Principal if I had to go over his head because this issue wasn't been dealt with, the child MUST and ALWAYS come first. There are many organisations supported by famous celebrities that talk about this in great length and it's the schools job to implement the same message.

On another note, I've been in Ontario for 14 months now, have to say, it's been a rollercoaster of a ride, but we are reaching light at the end of the tunnel, at least I hope. I met my husband in London and we had our daughter, now 6 years there. He wanted us to move to bring her up here where he is from and so we moved last August. My daughter went straight into Senior Kindergarten which as mentioned by some of you was pretty unchallenging to say the least, but she didn't moan as it was all about more 'play'. Now we have got past the first year, we have now moved out of the parental unit and into 'another' temporary home for a couple of months whilst we wait for our new house to be finished, ready for December! We are also in the area near to my daughter's new school, she started French Immersion in September. Whilst it has been 'another' change, particularly with the language, my daughter has settled very well. We have lots of ups and downs, particularly in the first few weeks because she wasn't sure if she liked the French thing and she didn't always understand, but most days, she really enjoys her class and has fun with all the songs etc. The tears are less and less now and her understanding is more and more.
My main reason for coming on the site today was because I was doing a search for 'coping with change' because my daughter's listening skills are just diabolical, I wonder how much more one can handle! It's incredibily frustrating and although I put some of it down to her strong character, I'm sure a lot of it is down to so much change etc. She's such a sweet and well behaved little girl with a heart of gold, particularly with helping others, but sometimes, her 'switching' from high to a low and constantly ignoring any requests, my constant repeating any requests is driving me crazy!

I talk to her at great length and I hope that once we make our permanent move to our new house where she has everything that is hers, opens up the remainder of her boxes of toys, etc etc, I hope things will settle down, but is that just an excuse...... I don't know.....

Any thoughts..... I'm sure I'm not the only one..... hope not anyways!

MillieF

Linlaz...you are by no means, the only one, there's certainly me and thousands of others I am sure. I think there is a particular time during a kids development when they do seem incredibly frustrating....certainly we sort of 'gave up' with our kid for a good year as if you asked a simple 2+2 type question you got an extraordinary answer which made you want to throttle him! Talking to other parents, they all seem to go through the same frustrations. When he was about nine he seems to 'wake up' and all was well...also he didn't seem to be doing badly at school, it just seemed to be us he ignored.

Another language can certainly slow the whole system down, it takes a long while for a child to attune to it. I know quite a lot of French/English mixed parents and the kids all seem to have had difficulty at some point and then moved on from it. I became a member of a bi-lingual kids group, there are a couple on-line, but we had one near me, and it was amazing to find that what I had thought to be a big problem, turned out to be part of a normal developmental phase. I am quite relaxed about it now, as our son is 11 (so yes I'm going to start getting worked up about a whole different box of tricks!) but when he was 7 or 8, I was seriously concerned. I 'think or would imagine' that there are a number of support and information groups that you could tap into in Canada for parents with the same concerns, given the amount of kids going into French immersion. The problem is that when your child is the one that is having a problem, it becomes a 'what have I done wrong, and how can I fix it' obsession that can drive you nuts - how many mums and dads have that particular tee-shirt eh?

My son, who is in a French school, dropped casually into the conversation the other day that he's " starting to understand his Maths teacher" ! He's been there two months!!! He had not seen fit to let me know that he found this chap's accent impenetrable before.

Best of luck.

Martyn and Wendy

Hi
6 months hey - congratulations!!!!
We managed 5 months and 13 days before we returned back to the UK. We are planning on moving back to Calgary in May and cant wait!!!! Yey!!
Maybe next time we will get our 6 month anniversary
Wendy

Lorry1

Bully certainly is a big problem over here. The teen suicide rate is shocking over all provinces. It actually surprised me too but I have seen it first hand when my teen was bullied and recently my youngest has had issues with another girl.

The school system here gets me very wound up. The education system is 2 years behind the UK. We have just ordered some study guides from the UK for my 10 year old (we are returning next year and want her to catch up) and stuff they were doing back when she was 7 or 8 she is just doing here now. I sat at her parent evening last week and couldn't believe what basic stuff they are learning.

Once they turn 16 here they are legally able to drop out of school, but in doing so they will not graduate and will have no grades behind them. The schools officially run until they are 18 when they do graduate. Apparently the kids are responsible enough to decide if they want to drop out or stay after 16!
Well a lot of kids are not responsible they just decide they are bored with school, it gets on their nerves, they would rather stay in bed or go to the mall.
You cannot make them go and the school cannot make them stay, you just have to watch as your whole childs school life has been a waste of time and their future is destroyed!

This gets me so angry as my daughter is nearly 18 and she skips school a lot but there is nothing I can do. Yes it is her decision but I find it hard to just sit back and watch while she sacrifices her future when she is nearly at the end.
Yet the teachers call me and tell me she is not attending their classes but they can't keep them there!

I am not going through this again with my youngest. I am constantly frustrated and stressed.

Auld Yin

I am not going through this again with my youngest. I am constantly frustrated and stressed.

And do you have some guarantee that your youngest will behave herself and not skip school? Perhaps you should consider home schooling for her.

Lorry1

I don't have a guarantee, but I'm not going to risk it
That was not the original issue for returning anyway but the school system here does frustrate me.

Almost Canadian

Home schooling, not too sure about that.

How many of us when to the best schools? We all appear to have managed ok. As regular posters will know, I believe that most will do just fine in Canadian or UK schools.