thefinneys

We've been here nearly 6 years and had 2 more children. We have a nice house, my husband has a good job, I am nearly done school but we feel that something is missing. Ottawa isn't what we thought it would be!

We find it hard to meet people and make friends, the few friends I have are new to Ottawa too. We have put ourselves out there, attend sporting events with our kids, go to Beaver / cub meet ups, I joined the school council, take the children to dance / gymnastic classes etc....but we have found that the other parents are cliquey and do not want to welcome you into their circle of friends, especially those who are from Ottawa and still have all of their old high school friends.

My husband struggles too, he goes for beer with his colleagues from work occasionally but has no real friends here. He has been playing football for the last 6 years, always tries to meet people, suggests going to the pub after a game but still nothing!

We invite parents our of children friends over for BBQ's, bonfire night etc.. but never get invitations back and we are sick of constantly chasing people to try and get together. We have decided that Ottawa isn't the friendly welcoming place that we once thought and are wondering if we should move somewhere else. We are thinking of Calgary. We miss being part of a social group and i miss having someone to go shopping with or to meet for a glass of wine. We are a solid family unit but it would be nice to have people around to offer support and help, and vice versa!

Tirytory

Have you thought about moving somewhere smaller nearby? It can't just be Ottawa- maybe it's the fact that's it a bigger city. I live in Ontario too but in a smaller town of 15000. We have been here a year, and I've met lots of people who are very friendly and have just automatically extended invitations to me also. Maybe that's the difference- the size of the place?

Almost Canadian

I have never really experienced issues with meeting people and becoming friends with them in Calgary.

There are always people moving to Calgary and maybe that helps.

What types of jobs will you be seeking in Calgary?

Partially discharged

He is on the wrong team. With the team I'm on, its 'win or lose we hit the booze'. In the winter we go to the local pub for a post game pint and in the summer we have a beer at the side of the pitch.

Pizzawheel

Not sure it's the best time to be moving to Calgary.

I think Ottawa may have a "capital city clique" thing going on- I've heard similar about Canberra. So I like ToryTory's suggestion.

As for beers after work/ soccer etc, Canadians just aren't wired that way- well the blue collar ones may be, but not white collar. The two Canadian companies I've worked for have zero after-work social activity; the one international/ British company was a hotbed, because there were so many expats/ immigrants without families and schoolfriends around.

Maybe widen your target field to a more international base?

allycat231

Would the grass be any greener in Calgary? Its no different in Halifax. Ive been here 7 years and given up trying to assimilate. I have asked my work colleagues if they would like to go to pub on a weekend and they look at me, like im from a different planet and what is the fascination of Canadians partying in thier kitchens?? The closest ive ever been to a british style of socializing was in newfoundland.

Juggernaut1064

i found Canadians prefer an invite to supper which obviously at a bar etc or restaurant includes beer lol They have no concept here of a pub being a social hub unless your in an area with a high population of brits. In comparison to when i lived in the UK I'm T total now lol Sad really i finished the last cans of my 2013 christmas case of beer in september last year lol

Tirytory

Is it maybe an age thing? Even in the UK with children we socialized an awful lot in our respective houses than ever going out... I don't find it much different here- it's a stage of life!

DandNHill

It might be...I find it harder to make friends here, not sure why. I've met you and bats and teaandtoday5 but we don't exactly see much of each other as we're all quite a distance apart...
I've met a woman locally who although Canadian spent about 35 years in the UK and then a Brit in Barrie...I struggle to get past the niceties with Canadians...just don't know why...

Tirytory

I think my little girl opened most of my doors... The baby will probably cement it all. Bit of a drastic measure not open to most

MillieF

Yes, I would have loved to have met BE members, but they aren't really on side here (except you Bristol...and it's still a long way) it can be lonely here...I think, and hope, that Tirytory's method of growing her own, and baby, fans will work

I am lonely here, although I know lots of people. We have, and are, trying our best, but our son is doing well but my husband and I are failing dismally....that being said, everyone here thinks we are social butterflies, so it is perhaps just a matter of perception?

I think there are lots of lonely people in Canada?

bats

It's a Canadian thing. I think it's because they are so wrapped up in family, extended family, and the sstatus quo that they don't have time for new people. We've been here almost 9 years and it's only been a year or so that I've felt at home. I can't imagine living back in England now, let alone moving to another province. Surely you just start all over again with the same scenario.

I think you make your lifelong close friends in your 20s, once you miss that window then it's mostly friendship but without the close bond. People come and go in our lives all the time.

MillieF

I can't agree with that...I was pretty peripatetic in my 20's and 30's....my two greatest friends were made in my teenage years, after that it's just been down to odd places and odd times....and my kid...always good - like the dog! People are generally more lonely now I feel...as they so very scared of saying that they are lonely.

TrishP

You have described Ottawa and its inhabitants to a T. I've been in Ottawa 7 years and it is the most lonely and depressing place to be. No matter how much effort you make to extend a hand of friendship, they won't let you into their 'circle'. Quite happy to come over, eat your food and never think to return the offer - friendship here is very one-sided and very pleasant on the surface, but no deeper friendships, no sitting at the kitchen table after a lovely meal until 3am quaffing wine and havin' a laff! They eat and run here.
If you fancy a wee get together, gimme a shout - we can whine together, lol!!

bats

Yes but those friends were made when you were young and I suppose that was my point.