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Un-happy in Canada!

Un-happy in Canada!

Old Jan 12th 2015, 7:06 am
  #31  
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Default Re: Un-happy in Canada!

As others have said try and save to take a long holiday, maybe stay in a cottage and live the british life for a while.... maybe even your Canadian wife might enjoy it. After 2 or 3 years in Canada we began to hate it... every chest thumping tim hortons advert made us hate it more! We moved back to the UK 15 months ago and have never looked back, for us the schooling, cost of living, weather, food, culture are all better for is and it just feels like home
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Old Jan 12th 2015, 11:40 am
  #32  
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Default Re: Un-happy in Canada!

I don't live in Canada, I browse these forums as it's a bit of a dream to move overseas one day. I left the Navy 3 and a half years ago and at first it was great, then I started missing it. I remembered all the great times and wanted it to be like that again, one day someone said to me, think of all the reasons you gave for wanting to leave in the first place. So I did and now it's a fond memory for me and I have no desire to go back in at all. I know that's a little off topic but maybe you should think of all the reasons you gave for wanting to move out there, it may not seem like it but I bet a good deal of them are still valid reasons. Like someone said earlier you aren't going to find mates like you hasd in the military, but if you try to not compare mates now and mates then, I'm sure they'll turn out to be just fine!

Good luck whatever you decide to do. The only right choice is your choice!
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Old Jan 12th 2015, 6:11 pm
  #33  
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Default Re: Un-happy in Canada!

Before you make any drastic changes, make sure you're not wearing a pair of these...

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Old Jan 12th 2015, 6:20 pm
  #34  
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Default Re: Un-happy in Canada!

Is living in another region a possibility? Could just be your not happy because of the location you are in.

Having ADD could also bring in other issues such as depression, would not hurt to talk to a doctor about it, sometimes things like that cloud our judgement.


I've lived in a few regions of Canada, and while I used to say I am un-happy in Canada, when the reality is, I am just un-happy in the region of BC I am as there is no future for average folks here, but I was happy in other regions.

Maybe you just need to look into another region? I know easier said then done.
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Old Jan 12th 2015, 7:35 pm
  #35  
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Default Re: Un-happy in Canada!

I recently went back for a family wedding after seven years of no visits, i was excited and looking forward to catching up with old friends, i made it clear to family that they could not dominate all my time there.
I have to be honest it wasn't what i expected when i arrived in my old home city, i felt like a tourist, very detached, my friends will always be my friends but it just wasn't as it use to be, their lives have moved on, the city has moved on and changed, i really felt like an outsider BUT it's something i'm glad i experienced because i can now, as someone on here said, look back on fond memories but i now know i cant go back and my life and future is here in Canada. It's something i think you need to do, take that long vacation, take your wife and kids with you to show them where you came from but i think like me when your time is up there you'll be glad to board the plane home.
Its not the same visiting JUST for a wedding or for your dad's funeral, you have to make time outside of that to truly visit your past and see how you feel.
I think it would also help if you have close family in England if you can persuade them to visit you here too.
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Old Jan 13th 2015, 1:22 am
  #36  
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Default Re: Un-happy in Canada!

Originally Posted by Richos_9
All the things that I thought I missed about the UK, I now can not stand. Friends I had grown up with suddenly seemed like strangers and although we still see each other on occasion, its not how I had imagined it would be. In a way its ruined some of my memories from years ago and I can only think its because I had this ideal picture in my head of how it would be.
You can't go home again... because not only has that place changed - you've changed.

If you're from place A, you need to look at it objectively, not how you vaguely remember it. If you moved from Vernon to Nottingham for example, look at that objectively.

And if you're unhappy in place A, odds are you're not going to be happy in place B long-term, because rarely is the place you're in the reason why you were unhappy to begin with. It can be, say there is something you can do in one place that you can't do in the other place that you enjoy, but it's not usually the major factor.

It sounds to me like plain-old mid-life crisis. Go and buy a motorbike.
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Old Jan 13th 2015, 11:11 am
  #37  
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Default Re: Un-happy in Canada!

Hi,...I think a long break over in the UK during the winter will help. Cold and damp! You'll want to get back to Canada. On a serious note,....the idea of getting away is great......go anywhere,....just get away from your thoughts, your home and take your family with you....go have some fun, a change of scenery, and return with fresh eyes. I also have grass is greener syndrome, I travel a lot,...it really helps me to appreciate my home and family.
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Old Jan 13th 2015, 1:36 pm
  #38  
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Default Re: Un-happy in Canada!

Such an interesting thread! I've been in Canada for 7 years now and have a Canadian wife and two kids. I have the occasional pang of homesickness too, especially after a Skype session with my 3 nephews, niece and other assorted family & friends. But would I move back? I don't think so. I love Canada and and I particularly like the general sense of optimism for the future here that (at least I think) is missing in the UK.

One of the issues facing the OP and many other expats here is the difficulty in forging new friendships and relationships here in Canada, something I've struggled with too. It's not easy making friends as an adult at the best of times, especially when you have a young family to look after and no spare time! Most Canadians have established networks of friends and family already and are simply not too interested in making new connections. We've found that the people we have most in common and end up hanging out with the most are other newcomers, who are in a similar position.

I find living in a big city like Toronto helps, because there are a LOT of new immigrants here, many of whom share the same values and aspirations as us and are also striking out making a new life. I guess it's not for everyone though.

Last edited by humanist; Jan 13th 2015 at 1:38 pm.
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Old Jan 13th 2015, 5:39 pm
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Default Re: Un-happy in Canada!

Originally Posted by humanist
Such an interesting thread! I've been in Canada for 7 years now and have a Canadian wife and two kids. I have the occasional pang of homesickness too, especially after a Skype session with my 3 nephews, niece and other assorted family & friends. But would I move back? I don't think so. I love Canada and and I particularly like the general sense of optimism for the future here that (at least I think) is missing in the UK.

One of the issues facing the OP and many other expats here is the difficulty in forging new friendships and relationships here in Canada, something I've struggled with too. It's not easy making friends as an adult at the best of times, especially when you have a young family to look after and no spare time! Most Canadians have established networks of friends and family already and are simply not too interested in making new connections. We've found that the people we have most in common and end up hanging out with the most are other newcomers, who are in a similar position.

I find living in a big city like Toronto helps, because there are a LOT of new immigrants here, many of whom share the same values and aspirations as us and are also striking out making a new life. I guess it's not for everyone though.

Having lived in BC, AB and ON over the past 11 years or so, I found Ontario to be rather friendly and welcoming compared to the other 2 provinces. Now I never lived in Toronto (Whitby/Oshawa area along with Port Hope) but the area's I did live in, everyone was pretty friendly and more open then what i have found in BC, Alberta was better then BC as well, but not by a whole lot.

BC, especially Metro Vancouver and Fraser Valley, in my experience have been very cold when it comes to newcomers, you have to fit into the cliques or people want nothing to do with you.

I've met a few people here and there but no friends, everyone I know is via my spouse, but they are her friends, I can't say I have yet to make a friend in BC, place can be awful sometimes, and more negative too, but the cost of housing and everything else + lower wages = unhappy people.
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Old Jan 14th 2015, 2:22 am
  #40  
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Default Re: Un-happy in Canada!

Yet in the 18 months I have been here in BC I have found 4 friends that i would hate to lose, we have even arranged to go away together. All of the are Canadian and two are Coquitlam born and raised.
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Old Jan 14th 2015, 4:53 am
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Default Re: Un-happy in Canada!

Originally Posted by Tootlepootle
Yet in the 18 months I have been here in BC I have found 4 friends that i would hate to lose, we have even arranged to go away together. All of the are Canadian and two are Coquitlam born and raised.
Like everything experiences differ. Suppose one issue is, no clue where adults meet friends since I dont like bars and they are not good place to socialize in my experience anyhow.
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Old Jan 14th 2015, 12:59 pm
  #42  
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Default Re: Un-happy in Canada!

Originally Posted by Jsmth321
Like everything experiences differ. Suppose one issue is, no clue where adults meet friends since I dont like bars and they are not good place to socialize in my experience anyhow.
I played a lot of squash when I first came here and most of my Canadian friends I met on the court. Friends are made when you are with people regularly doing something you're both interested in.
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Old Jan 14th 2015, 1:50 pm
  #43  
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Default Re: Un-happy in Canada!

Originally Posted by humanist
I played a lot of squash when I first came here and most of my Canadian friends I met on the court. Friends are made when you are with people regularly doing something you're both interested in.
That sums it up very nicely.
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Old Jan 14th 2015, 3:54 pm
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Default Re: Un-happy in Canada!

Originally Posted by humanist
I played a lot of squash when I first came here and most of my Canadian friends I met on the court. Friends are made when you are with people regularly doing something you're both interested in.
I agree, and its likely part of the issue, the things I like to do are either not available in BC/Squamish or cost too much money to do or are something you don't really meet people doing.

At my age though, I am good not having friends, I've gotten used to it, and it's easier in general as I am not the most social person out there.
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Old Jan 14th 2015, 3:56 pm
  #45  
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Default Re: Un-happy in Canada!

Originally Posted by Jsmth321
I agree, and its likely part of the issue, the things I like to do are either not available in BC/Squamish or cost too much money to do or are something you don't really meet people doing.

At my age though, I am good not having friends, I've gotten used to it, and it's easier in general as I am not the most social person out there.
You're fairly social on here.
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