calandcat

I am looking for positive support. I lived in Canada for approx 13yrs prior to meeting my husband who is Canadian born, shortly after we dated we moved to Scotland where we have spent 13yrs and married with 3 kids. We have loved Scotland with many ups and downs,. We have been very lucky with work and been in our jobs for 13yrs, I am a family support worker (not qualified social worker, but exact same job) my husband works in a College, we both have great hrs and loads of holidays. We unfortunately lost our property in the crash in 2008 ever since then my husband has dreamt of returning to Canada, we only rent a house now and own a small apartment in Spain. We have decided to return to Canada. I am beginning to lose sleep over the stress I am hoping the feed back is positive. Is the grass greener?
Questions: can i afford to move? skint and have no savings however paying off debt really quickly, I will be debt free apart for Spanish mortgage.
Housing in Canada: I have narrowed down 11 co-op housing associations where rent is cheaper approx $1000 per month.(completed applications)
We don't have work arranged however feel confident in getting work quickly ??
Kids schools: This is the main reason my husband wants to return, he has great memory of school life in Canada compared to the lifestyle in Scotland (if your not wearing super dry or converse you don;t fit in) My daughter is in P.7 so will go into Middle school in Canada rather than high school here, she has Asperger's and is supported in primary school however will be completely lost in High school. This worries us, she doesn't fit in.(she doesn't get the fashion, the popularity stuff the ongoing scasam that goes on in the Scottish culture) We also are the only mixed race family in our local area(hopefully not the case in Canada).
Medical: free epi pens and anti histamine, inhaler in Scotland What will happen in Canada.? How will we survive? How to other families afford to pay for prescriptions? (are we too spoiled?). What about dental, its also free in Scotland until 18yrs and then after very cheap
We will need at least one car to help us get work and what about shipping furniture. It seems so expensive, my husband wants to pack a bag and just leave he is really been quite depressed the last few yrs here. I don't want to be scrimping and scraping. What about our dog? where do i begin.
i have found out that I need to do a name change on my citizenship paper which costs a $100 and apply for the kids which is also $100. sorry My email is ranting on i am so stressed. My husband misses his culture, his American football, hockey, baseball etc its time for me to support him. Can we do this without savings? is it going to be realistic. I rely on my dad babysitting and walking the dog, who will help me in Canada? As you can see i go back and forth 2 steps forward then worry about the stuff etc. Our kids need to a better life, is the Canadian life better? Is it the same as it was 13yrs ago, children were immature, wore odd socks and loved others no matter their skin colour? Will i cope without my Dad? will we every get long holidays again? can i only work part time? Why am i so scared? my 18yr old son is not coming with us and renting a flat and continuing his education in the UK, however my husbands daughter 24yrs lives in Canada, is his families turn to have has in their lives? Help pls.

DandNHill

Hi, welcome!!

Where will you be living in Canada?
The grass isn't always greener, just a different shade. My kids adapted very well to the Canadian education system. My 11 year old doesn't even remember living in England!

dbd33

Why don't you wait and see if any of the housing co-ops will accept you? I don't think that's very likely but, if none does, I don't see how you can find a place to live in Ontario; if you have no jobs landlords won't look at you so you'll need all kinds of money for a hotel.

The drugs are a problem. An EpiPen, for example, is $100

Why are EpiPens so much cheaper in Canada? | Benefits Canada

One bright spot is that no will look twice at a mixed race family in most of urban Ontario. There are a few spots where that would be unusual, Brampton, Agincourt, London Ont, but in most locations there's a complete mixture of people.

DandNHill

I'm no thanks sure I would agree about Brampton. I've come across quite a few mixed couples.
How many children are you bringing and where do you want to be? We paid $1400 for a three bed place with heat and lights included in Alliston.

Partially discharged

Agincourt? I lived there for a number of years once we moved to Canada in 1981 and other family members left in 2002. Over time it became increasingly chinese with some fillipino and indian/pakistani mixed in but I don't think a mixed race family would raise that many eyebrows.

London, Ontario on the other hand always strikes me as very cradle canadian with a thin veneer of genteel shabiness in some areas.

TrishP

I would say to be successful in moving here, at least one of you would need to have a job lined up. Canada has become a very expensive country relative to how it was when your husband last lived here. The initial costs to set up home here are high ... first and last months rent, home insurance, driving license, vehicle and insurance, furniture and consumables, etc. Having as much of a financial cushion as you can save prior to getting on the flight will help.

You would probably need to update your training and qualifications to be able to register to practise in your field: Register as a Social Service Worker | OCSWSSW

As for mixed race, I wouldn't worry, as others have said, no one bats an eyelid. I'm white and hubby is Filipino and we have many mixed race friends.

Medical coverage would be much improved with employment, as most employers offer medical benefits. However, there are avenues of assistance for those who are unemployed and claiming benefits.

When is the last time your hubby was back in Canada for a holiday? Perhaps an extended holiday here would provide more of an opportunity to quell the homesickness and to learn that the grass is not necessarily greener.

MarylandNed

There are so many alarm bells going off here in terms of making such a big move e.g. money, jobs, kids, pets, family etc. There are financial constraints and logistical issues to overcome. But the above statements in particular struck a chord with me. This sounds like a cry for help. I think both of you should seek counselling and talk this through with someone who can help you sort out how you feel and what you want to do. You don't want to be making such major decisions under stress or while depressed.

not2old

I generally air on the negative side, and can be quite abrupt on posts like yours - but hey, you asked the question, so get ready.

So is it about him wanting to return, do you agree with giving up your jobs, circle of friends & family & moving the kids to starting all over again at your age [what age are you both?]?

You will arrive in Canada just like other immigrants, no jobs, no place to stay - see how quickly your money runs out

Do you believe that you will find suitable work in Canada that will give you the lifestyle of living in Scotland?


I had to shake my head when I read that piece of your post

The grass is not greener comparing to what you have in Scotland, good jobs a holiday home in Spain.


Dont move back to Canada, stay where you are.

With a qualifier that if you do move back to Canada that you will have lost the holiday home, secure nice jobs with benefits - then doing so moving back here - do you have a fallback plan that if 'you run out of money or its not what you expected' are you prepared to return to the UK uprooting the kids?

BristolUK

Not sure if you mean support in deciding to come or positive information to help a decision which might well be not to come.

I'm a Brit, my wife and her kids lived in Quebec. I effectively uprooted them from their not ideal but comfortable financial and housing situation (with parents) to move to this province with a plan that was researched well and worked out well.

It seems to me you have everything to lose and nothing to gain without at least the guarantee of a well paid job.

I understand the point about it being 'his turn' but it's really a non starter without at least one of you working and being paid well.

Get that side sorted and it could be a good thing with even the opportunity of breaking up long winters here by going to Spain.

dbd33

How could it possibly happen that there would be the money to fly five people to Spain?

not2old

jumping back in on this

From the above you may have answered your own question .... its all about me eh!

Debt free minus the Spain mortgage = net cash of x?

Cost to move to Canada x?... shipping, the dog, flights... budget $20,000 Cdn

Settling in costs budget $20,000 - $30,000 Cdn with a few weeks in a hotel, meals & traveling around, buying & insuring a car , then finding the right suitable accommodation, with all the fees & deposits that go with it, getting the kids in school, all the medication you have to pay for & finally trying to find work to pay the bills


The stress will be worse than what you have now just because 'he wants to move home & watch 'his' cultural sports'

calandcat

[QUOTE=DandNHill;12121668]Hi, welcome!!

Where will you be living in Canada?
The grass isn't always greener, just a different shade. My kids adapted very well to the Canadian education system. My 11 year old doesn't even remember living in England![/QUO

Kitchener. We have family there

not2old

well the the OP said they both are working, have lots of holidays [paid] add to that employer benefits, family or a close circle in the UK to take care of the dog while on hols in Spain.

They most likely rent the holiday home when they're not there to pay the mortgage with money over for the £99 /person retun flight to Spain.

Likely renting from an association housing in Scotland while they have a holiday home in Spain with a mortgage seems daft too me

If they make it Canada, wait till they find out what the day care costs are here, add to that prescriptions if they dont have coverage through an employer

not2old

could that mean that temporary accommodation is sorted on your arrival which isn't all bad, in fact a good start?

Is it your intention to settle in Kitchener, if so then you most likely already know the cost of living (groceries, utilities, phone, cable TV & internet), non-social/co-op housing costs, cost of day care, vet costs, prescription charges

calandcat

I was looking for positive feedback. We only came to Scotland for 6mths it's been 13yrs. It's not all about my husband wanting to go back you watch sports but I need to consider him as we have stayed here longer than planned because it just happened.. I have lots of friends in kitchener and would be staying with them or in laws over a hotel anyday.. the coop housing has been positive we are not looking for subsidised and most have said they would do video calls and accept our applucations before we move. As far as work if I get co-op housing I will have a basement and could work immediately doing home day care.. I ran the same business in canada before and had a waiting list It was very successful. I am stressed because who wouldn't be moving two young children? ,not being financial stable and worried about medical. If it was just myself I would jump on a plane with one suite case. So a little over the top suggesting councilling. .I am keeping my Spanish flat for my retirement fund. My husband had been 3 times in the last yr.. his mum has cancer his whole family are in canada. .