lottie95

Hello

I've just turned 18 and I moved to the Toronto area when I was 9. The first four or so years here were certainly different, although I never felt particularly homesick for England, until recently. That being said, I've always felt quite alienated from Canadians and have never identified myself with being Canadian. So things like Canada Day and the National Anthem every morning don't mean anything to me, and never have.

Anyway, one thing that really stands out to me with my state in being here, is that I just can't imagine getting married and having children here in Canada. I know it might sound petty, but no child is mine with a Canadian accent (which they would surely develop after living here for some time). I'm sure some of you can understand where I'm coming from, that even the silliest things like that really do make a difference. The lifestyle here is different. I don't necessarily think Canada is a bad place, but there really is no place like home. I think living in Canada would appeal to someone who likes a big adventure, long drives, camping, hiking, the wilderness, etc. I've never had any sort of interest in these hobbies and pastimes.

I don't know why this sudden ache for being back in the UK happened almost all of a sudden. I've been feeling like this constantly for over a year now (it was on and off before) but I just feel so detached, sad, fed up, bored and the thought of spending the rest of my life here absolutely shatters me inside. I feel like I'm wasting my time being here.

I've just finished high school, and I'm waiting to find out whether I've been accepted in to the college I applied to. The thing is, the thought of having to spend four more years in education for something that'll only give me the qualifications in Canada, just seems like a waste of my time. I won't be happy living here. The thing is, my mum is married here to my now step-dad (a canadian she met) and she loves him very much, which is the reason I'm here in the first place. I know for one that leaving my mum would hurt me, but it would hurt her a whole lot more, and I'd never hear the end of it. So I'm stuck. I don't know what to do, at this point. Any advice would be helpful.

Steve_

But how much time have you spent in the UK lately? You may not think you're Canadian but if you've spent all that time here then you may think differently after going to the UK.

lottie95

I just got back from seeing my dad there (along with my older sister who too, misses england) and I spent two weeks there. I really felt happy there, and didn't want to come back! I missed it from the moment I was sat in the departure lounge at the airport.

Apart from that, I visit England for up to three weeks at a time every year or two.

aries

I agree with Steve_ you need to spend some time in the UK to comprehend what it is like. Being a tourist isn't enough though, it would give a false impression.

lottie95

I see where you're coming from, although this last time I was there, it got to a point where I got tired of doing touristy things and just wanted my own house there and start a normal life.

patex

Lottie, you have been to England recently, so you're not just dreaming but it's worth remembering that visiting a place and living in a place are very different.

Firstly, as far as the relationship goes with your mum; 9 years ago she followed her life path and it resulted in you growing up in Canada. You are now an adult, you now have a responsibility and a right to direct your own life path. If that path takes you back to England, no good parent would ever hold that against you and you're only a short flight apart.

My advice would be to look into studying at a UK university. Even though you don't have UK qualifications, most universities will recognise your studies abroad. You will then potentially have a UK degree which is recognised in Canada, adult experience of living in the UK and be in a better point to chose where you prefer to live.

As a UK citizen, you could learn any European language and live on the continent or as a Canadian citizen, use the NAFTA scheme to live and work in the USA.

The world is your oyster right now and rather than get depressed with your situation, I'd contact some UK universities and get ready for the adventure of a lifetime! Good luck.

lottie95

Thank you for your advice.

I think rather than staying here in a rut without even trying out an opportunity in the UK, it's better for me to explore my options and go on an adventure, as you put it.

If it turns out that I'm not happy back in England, I can still always come back, and see what Canada has to offer. I'll never know until I try, right? x

Yandros

Whilst I agree with the sentiment of if it's really not for you in Canada then try the UK, I'd be cautious.

it's a long time ago now, but I still remember going off to University in England (where I'd lived my whole life until then). I was nervous and got quite down beforehand and over the first couple of terms (semesters?) before I properly settled in. I think if I'd been doing it in a foreign country it would have been harder.

So if you really want to go back to the UK, then go for it, but be careful about why you're unhappy here. Would being in the UK really solve the problem, or would you take it with you and have to deal with it with most family and friends a lot further away.

Good luck either way.

Blossom23

Oh I really agree with Patex.....

Living in the UK while you studied (and worked as well) would certainly make or break how you feel...

But Remember "The grass is always greener ......." but you still gotta cut it.

Good Luck..

patex

Right!

Siouxie

Make sure you have your Citizenship if you are planning on going to the UK to study - otherwise you will need to maintain your PR status by being in Canada for 730 days out of each 5 year period.

Have you talked to your Mum or Dad about how you are feeling?

an_actual_cat_irl

Get out of Canada, live in the uk for a while, enjoy everything it has to offer, and then reassess in a few years.

My wife grew up in Calgary and Vancouver and came travelling to the UK when she was 19 years old. She pretty much thought Canada was rubbish at that point in her life and needed a change. However, after 8 years of being here, she's desperate to go back, and really misses it. London is great when you're 18-25 and you can go out clubbing and get smashed constantly but, after that, you might find yourself wanting a bit more space.

Blossom23

Hear, Hear ...

And like Siouxie says ... have you talked to your Mum and Dad?

Simon Legree

Isn't that called "growing up ?"

Piff Poff

Lottie, talk to your Mum about how your feeling, wow its quite surreal talking to a Lottie - the same age as mine look into studying in the uk or maybe take a year out and travel while you decide. My Lottie is unsure of where her next steps should be, so rather than spending loads of money on a course she may not want to do, im suggesting she takes a little time to decide. You dont have to hurry into a decision.