Mr Lee

I've been here nearly ten years now and I can honestly say, I have no real friends, only acquaintances and hangers on (women - I think it's the accent ). The few people I do knock about socially with are British immigrants like me.

In the UK I had a large circle of very good friends from all over Europe (I worked for a very large multinational company who recruited from all over) and had no problem getting to know people.

But I was younger and more outgoing.

Pizzawheel

I'll be your wingman. I mean friend.

Mr Lee

Well - put it this way. It's not the good looks or the sparkling conversation...

Oh, I see what you did there. Very good.

Rosie Lee

I always found Canadians to be incredibly friendly right from the off, but it doesn't seem to go any further than that. You can know someone for several years, but it still feels like the relationship hasn't progressed any further than when you first met.
And what is this idea that your business acquaintances are your buddies??
When the chips come down, its business!

rivingtonpike

I think another issue is that we all live very busy lives. We, as a family, just don't have the time to see all our friends all the time. As a consequence, if anything, we spread ourselves a bit thin by seeing too many friends, but none of them on an in-depth basis. I think this is just a symptom of all of us being wrapped up in our own worlds. The difference with our friends in the UK however, is that we knew them at a time in our lives when none of us had kids, we had money and so the time to devote to each other and forging deeper relationships. Now we're all ferrying offspring hither and thither! Come Saturday night, we're so knackered all we generally want to do is curl up in front of the fire with a bottle of plonk and watch an old Inspector Morse or Midsomer!

sharkus

I'll admit I don't have many, if any real friends outside of the office. We will on occasion, go for a drink or to, but not that frequently, usually only when someone has a promotion or leaves. I know it's down to me, as I'm somewhat shy, have low self confidence, and also somewhat lazy. Not a great combination of things I know!

I have ventured out, once, with a group of loonies from here and am planning on doing so again soon.

I think a hobby might be required as well, something that isn't sitting in front of a computer or tv screen, and I just need to figure out what.

goins

Oh woow having lived in oakville, i find it quite a bit different. depending on where you reside. i found people who live downtown lakeshore /trafalgar seem to be much aligned with their richness friends and BMW's and have no clue for the simple life or just having a good conversation with the simple man..
i gues what am saying is if you got flaunt it..noo not me ..simple as they come

humanist

I've been here 7 years and couldn't really call anyone a "close" friend. But to be honest I wasn't the greatest friend maker when I was back in the UK either, my friends there are mostly from childhood, university or my early career.

It's also largely down to the stage of life I'm at. I have two young kids with my Canadian wife, and without much family support we rarely get any time for social activities or hobbies ....so there's no surprise I'm not meeting many people or fostering friendships right now!

A swift Lotto Max win funding plenty of nannies, cleaners and expensive hobbies is my plan to get out of the rut :-)

goins

Humanist i am the opposite of you going to the UK to marry my fiance, been here to long and the friends i have are few and far between, I have a few but quality, also i have more friends in my fiance's family then i do here says a lot. I"ll take it.

christmasoompa

That surprises me, as most people seek to think the easiest way to make new friends is through children and i'd agree with them. Some of my closest friends are those I've met via school/playgroup/antenatal classes, we see them regularly and go on holiday with them.

I find it far easier to make friends through my kids than I did before I had them, although I am in the UK so there's plenty of the 'popping in for a cuppa' thing here which I never found in Canada.

SchnookoLoly

A lot of my cousins have told me this as well, that you meet a load of people through kids programs. When the time comes, we are going to be making sure to register in various programs so that we can meet people in our area.

humanist

Yes, that's true, but our kids are only 3 years old and two months old so the kids programs etc. are just kicking in now. Another problem in a transient city like Toronto is that some of the good friends we made though our kids have since moved away.

maple moments.

Some great points here on the challenges of making friends in Canada. Some of you fine people suggested joining a club /common interest group - it's a good idea. I joined a Running Club, Yoga & Mac users group. Again, friendly, relaxed atmosphere in all these, but no lasting friendship. A lot of it is ' Hi & Bye'.... you show up - people say Hi, chat, then Bye after the event.

Asked some people after club time to have coffee, grab a drink or such like, but they always 'have things to do...' Ha, thought it was me that was the prob... but I'm social, easygoing, get along with lots of dudes, so it's not a problem mixing.

'Meet Up' group might be the answer? You might know, London UK has loads, including 'Canadian Meet up' group! Could always start one. Just post on the 'Meet up' website. It means you'll get others who've searched for social groups who actually come.

On the whole (as some have said), found it easier to stay in regular touch with fellow Brits & some other nationalities too. Nice international interaction in that sense.

Cheers.

Snave

I wonder how much of this is due to Ottawa weather! In winter we button up - the coat, the car, the house. In summer we spend much more time outside, which results in chatting more with neighbours and dog walkers etc. I work in hi tec in Kanata, and my colleagues are a real mixed bag of home nationalities, most of whom are now Citizens. But outside work I'm not really missing their company. A couple are bikers so we do rides together - but if we didn't have bikes, I doubt we'd mingle. Canadians I meet in a bar, and just shoot the sh*t with seem friendly and chatty enough, but when we go our separate ways - that's it. I do agree that in the UK I had many more "close" friends than I have here.

MillieF

The weather definitely makes for hibernation, I think that such long periods shut inside does something to the psyche...

Yes Maple Moments, the general interest clubs I hope will be good - I brought my Citroen 2CV here, and took her to a car show today, and got lots of interest as she's a bit different here. I'm in the Fredericton Marathon too (only 10k, but part of a group) - Air Cadet Parents v the Kids! Guess which group will win

Whether these overtures bear fruit I have yet to find out, I know scores of people here, but only on the most facile of levels....