Go Back   British Expats / Living & Moving Abroad / Canada

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old Sep 5th 2017, 3:51 pm   #16
Fun Sponge
Super Moderator
 
christmasoompa's Avatar
 
Joined: Oct 2007
Location: In a darkened room somewhere.............
Posts: 24,744
christmasoompa has a reputation beyond reputechristmasoompa has a reputation beyond reputechristmasoompa has a reputation beyond reputechristmasoompa has a reputation beyond reputechristmasoompa has a reputation beyond reputechristmasoompa has a reputation beyond reputechristmasoompa has a reputation beyond reputechristmasoompa has a reputation beyond reputechristmasoompa has a reputation beyond reputechristmasoompa has a reputation beyond reputechristmasoompa has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Advice on Adjusting in Canada in year 1

Quote:
Originally Posted by Farmboy1892 View Post
Thanks Shard

Why does it say my post has been moved on the page??
Because it has. You'd put it in the Maple Leaf, which is for off-topic chat - anything about life in Canada is best placed in the main Canada forum, hence I moved it.

HTH.
__________________
New to the Canada forum? Welcome.
Please take the time to read this - Newcomers to the Forum
christmasoompa is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 5th 2017, 4:17 pm   #17
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Jan 2015
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 176
Farmboy1892 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Advice on Adjusting in Canada in year 1

Oh, thanks Christmas I knew there had to be a good reason!!

Oh and no not Dutton but not a million miles away either.

Thanks Linda I did laugh when I read your post. Thanks for taking the time to respond.
You are right is so many ways!!

Thanks

Farmboy
Farmboy1892 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 5th 2017, 5:02 pm   #18
DeeMB 
Just Joined
 
Joined: Oct 2015
Posts: 11
DeeMB is just really niceDeeMB is just really niceDeeMB is just really niceDeeMB is just really niceDeeMB is just really niceDeeMB is just really niceDeeMB is just really niceDeeMB is just really nice
Default Re: Advice on Adjusting in Canada in year 1

Hi Farmboy,
I have been here since May 2015 and it has taken time to adjust. My OH started work the first week after landing, but I didn't work until the end of that year and I was fed up and bored with no friends. I compared prices, education, manners and everything in between. I didn't like where we lived and felt like I didn't belong.

Now I am working in a good job that's reasonabley paid, I have friends, our son is thriving and plays all sorts of sports, including hockey. My husband has been promoted twice, we love our neighbourhood and feel settled and at home. I don't play golf though!

We had to put a lot of effort in to fitting in. I sometimes feel nostalgic for the UK but we have made a different life for ourselves now. I wish you luck in your adventure.
DeeMB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 5th 2017, 5:12 pm   #19
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Jan 2015
Location: Northern Ireland
Posts: 176
Farmboy1892 is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Advice on Adjusting in Canada in year 1

Thanks Dee.

The responses I have received make me feel more comfortable in that we are not the only ones experiencing this.

If the shoe were on the other foot I am quite sure that Canadians would feel exactly the same in the U.K.

Are you in Ontario?


Thanks

Farmboy.
Farmboy1892 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 5th 2017, 5:48 pm   #20
BE Enthusiast
 
Joined: Dec 2010
Location: Whitby, Ontario
Posts: 303
Twitcher1958 has a reputation beyond reputeTwitcher1958 has a reputation beyond reputeTwitcher1958 has a reputation beyond reputeTwitcher1958 has a reputation beyond reputeTwitcher1958 has a reputation beyond reputeTwitcher1958 has a reputation beyond reputeTwitcher1958 has a reputation beyond reputeTwitcher1958 has a reputation beyond reputeTwitcher1958 has a reputation beyond reputeTwitcher1958 has a reputation beyond reputeTwitcher1958 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Advice on Adjusting in Canada in year 1

'I met a few good friends on this site because I said hey does anyone live in my town we met at a local pub swapped stories and took it from there'

She and I both agree that this was the only successful blind date we've ever had!

Sometimes you need to take a step out of your comfort zone to move forward 😏

Last edited by Twitcher1958; Sep 5th 2017 at 5:51 pm.
Twitcher1958 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 5th 2017, 7:59 pm   #21
bats 
limey party pooper
 
Joined: Jul 2012
Posts: 8,057
bats has a reputation beyond reputebats has a reputation beyond reputebats has a reputation beyond reputebats has a reputation beyond reputebats has a reputation beyond reputebats has a reputation beyond reputebats has a reputation beyond reputebats has a reputation beyond reputebats has a reputation beyond reputebats has a reputation beyond reputebats has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Advice on Adjusting in Canada in year 1

oh heck, that isn't remote by Ontario standards! you're slightly closer to a city than we are and you're in a town.
bats is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 6th 2017, 3:29 am   #22
scilly Female
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Feb 2013
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 1,339
scilly has a reputation beyond reputescilly has a reputation beyond reputescilly has a reputation beyond reputescilly has a reputation beyond reputescilly has a reputation beyond reputescilly has a reputation beyond reputescilly has a reputation beyond reputescilly has a reputation beyond reputescilly has a reputation beyond reputescilly has a reputation beyond reputescilly has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Advice on Adjusting in Canada in year 1

You know something ............ when you do go back to the UK for a visit, you will find yourself comparing their prices with the prices here, and going "Crikey, it's expensive"!

After over 49 years here, the only advice I can give you is stop looking back and comparing. Look forward.

The schools are by no means as bad as you think they are .............. kids from Canadian schools get into Oxford and Cambridge, Yale and Harvard, and every other university in the world, which means they are competitive.

You came over here for a reason, you convinced your wife that it was a good reason, now help her see that it was a good move
scilly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 6th 2017, 12:32 pm   #23
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Jan 2011
Location: Orton, Ontario
Posts: 1,514
HGerchikov has a reputation beyond reputeHGerchikov has a reputation beyond reputeHGerchikov has a reputation beyond reputeHGerchikov has a reputation beyond reputeHGerchikov has a reputation beyond reputeHGerchikov has a reputation beyond reputeHGerchikov has a reputation beyond reputeHGerchikov has a reputation beyond reputeHGerchikov has a reputation beyond reputeHGerchikov has a reputation beyond reputeHGerchikov has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Advice on Adjusting in Canada in year 1

It's tough. After 13 years in Canada we have just moved to a new area. It's rural, there are neighbours but they are a long way away and we can't see them from our house. So one Sunday afternoon we printed out some slips with our names and contact details, bought some boxes of chocolates and went and introduced ourselves. Outside of my comfort zone for sure, but the neighbours loved it. I got a phone call from one at the weekend and I am going round for drinks tonight.
HGerchikov is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 7th 2017, 3:18 am   #24
scilly Female
BE Forum Addict
 
Joined: Feb 2013
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 1,339
scilly has a reputation beyond reputescilly has a reputation beyond reputescilly has a reputation beyond reputescilly has a reputation beyond reputescilly has a reputation beyond reputescilly has a reputation beyond reputescilly has a reputation beyond reputescilly has a reputation beyond reputescilly has a reputation beyond reputescilly has a reputation beyond reputescilly has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Advice on Adjusting in Canada in year 1

Quote:
Originally Posted by HGerchikov View Post
It's tough. After 13 years in Canada we have just moved to a new area. It's rural, there are neighbours but they are a long way away and we can't see them from our house. So one Sunday afternoon we printed out some slips with our names and contact details, bought some boxes of chocolates and went and introduced ourselves. Outside of my comfort zone for sure, but the neighbours loved it. I got a phone call from one at the weekend and I am going round for drinks tonight.

What a great idea!!!

I'm so glad that it worked out.
scilly is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 7th 2017, 10:56 am   #25
Just Joined
 
Joined: Jul 2017
Posts: 12
Snowroll is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Advice on Adjusting in Canada in year 1

A point regarding education. Official reports suggests that the UK is trailing way behind Canada in all parameters:
Pisa tests: UK lags behind in global school rankings - BBC News
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/education...league-tables/
Snowroll is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 7th 2017, 11:31 am   #26
Shard Male
F.orum Ape
 
Shard's Avatar
 
Joined: Nov 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 12,456
Shard has a reputation beyond reputeShard has a reputation beyond reputeShard has a reputation beyond reputeShard has a reputation beyond reputeShard has a reputation beyond reputeShard has a reputation beyond reputeShard has a reputation beyond reputeShard has a reputation beyond reputeShard has a reputation beyond reputeShard has a reputation beyond reputeShard has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Advice on Adjusting in Canada in year 1

Quote:
Originally Posted by HGerchikov View Post
It's tough. After 13 years in Canada we have just moved to a new area. It's rural, there are neighbours but they are a long way away and we can't see them from our house. So one Sunday afternoon we printed out some slips with our names and contact details, bought some boxes of chocolates and went and introduced ourselves. Outside of my comfort zone for sure, but the neighbours loved it. I got a phone call from one at the weekend and I am going round for drinks tonight.
That's the good thing about having neighbours living acres away, less inhibition to socialise. We have lovely neighbours all round (residential English road), but everyone is reluctant to become too friendly in case you end up in their pockets (if I'm using the expression correctly?). Well done for getting out of your comfort zone HG.
Shard is online now   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 7th 2017, 1:59 pm   #27
Just Joined
 
Joined: Jun 2016
Location: St. John's, Newfoundland
Posts: 23
ShirleyEB is just really niceShirleyEB is just really niceShirleyEB is just really niceShirleyEB is just really niceShirleyEB is just really niceShirleyEB is just really niceShirleyEB is just really niceShirleyEB is just really niceShirleyEB is just really niceShirleyEB is just really nice
Default Re: Advice on Adjusting in Canada in year 1

hi Farmboy, if i recall correctly we moved over around the same time. We moved from N Ireland to Newfoundland in Nov 16, so our 1 year anniversary is approaching, but we are more excited about a trip home in 5 weeks, where I intend to gorge myself silly on all the good food I miss from home- that has been a big manifestation of my homesickness! I certainly have a new appreciation for the fertile soils of Ulster and all my farming relatives Cue celtic music in my head as I get all nostalgic... While I cannot advise you, I am struck by some of our similarities. It was my idea to move, and my hubby didn't get work until we were here 6 months; but getting him into a routine and out of the house helped him immensely. We also considered that if he couldn't get work, that he'd volunteer.

My way of dealing with it all is summed up in one word; acceptance.
I simply accept that at times i am homesick. I now accept if I'm feeling miserable and have "i hate it here; NI is so much better, I'm going home" moments. I accept that I have highs and lows; one day missing home, next day feeling estatic and priveledged to be having this experience. But I have come to realise I just accept what I'm feeling and it passes- sometimes I feel a bit crazt tbh, but realise it's part of the process!

I also do a lot of comparing, "the comparison stage", so I accept it for what it is- about making a transition from home to here. But I'm realising that over time, I'm doing it less and less... in some respects lol. I'm lamenting less about the price of milk, fruit and veg, quality of food, potholed roads etc; The shock is wearing off! ( I've no kids so cannot comment on schools).

I really struggle on holidays, missing family and friends, griping that I don't want/need 'surrogate' friends to replace those back home, but I appreciate the offers of friendship (with limits) that have come my way. I did have some really tough times- I've endured 3 chest infections in the first 4 months of arrival alongside a hectic work schedule. I was always sick over a holiday; Christmas, St Patrick's Day, and Labour Day. I'm confident I'll avert Thanksgiving as we are flying home that day. If not sick I actively try and do something nice/touristy to take my mind off things- or alternatively drink copious amounts of wine and skype/facetime everyone on my contact list! I accept these are my coping mechanisms and for the most part, very enjoyable- (that's my justifcation for the wine).

My continuing acceptance is that I have to endure some negatives of missing stuff and people, in order to experience some positives- fabulous winters with snow up to my armpits and all the new experiences that Newfoundland brings.

I had a visit from my parents in June so that was a great uplift, so I try to encourage visitors (who will bring me goodies in their suitcases). Knowing that I have choices helps me settle a bit more. I accept that I chose to be here and remind myself of the reasons why, (although I also left a good life/ country- I didn't come here for a better life per se, just a new experience). I am also consoled by the thought that i can also choose to go home, if i wish. That helps preserve my sanity too. I have also built in the caveat that this doesn't have to be forever; and that I am not trapped here. I will give it 3 years, review then and decide. In the meantime I choose to roll with the bad days and embrace the good days, all the while accepting this as a great (sometimes chaotic) adventure. I also accept that I will always really really really miss sausages and N Irish chinese food lol
ShirleyEB is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 10th 2017, 9:57 am   #28
Just Joined
 
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 8
Inabsentia_ is an unknown quantity at this point
Default Re: Advice on Adjusting in Canada in year 1

I've been here a bit over 2 years and I can tell you: it never stops. Whilst I don't actively compare prices or anything like that, it's a bit difficult not to compare the vast differences in architecture, culture, food and so on because they're so frequently encountered.

As an example: In Canada anything early or pre-1900's is considered old - that isn't old, at all. Also, there is this weird concept of Canadian values that is pushed (obscene politeness, resilience, "we're like Europe" etc.) which is simply false. (I'm pretty certain "sorry, thank you and please" are said way more in the UK). It also shadows the U.S. in business practices such as the bizarre banking system, tipping, little to no consumer or employee protection laws, rubbish TV with ads every 3 seconds for mental health meds etc which are the exact opposite of what you would have known all your life.

The reality is that you're not imagining things, it is better in the UK/Europe. So the question is, why stay here? and if you need to, how do you do it? You need to have a reason to stay - that could be a job, a relationship, family, your love of the outdoors - whatever it is for you. If you have that, then it's easy to go into the next step: I like to think of this as the acceptance/brainwashing step, you just slowly try to forget your past - stop caring that there is a better world out there, and accept the present.
Inabsentia_ is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 10th 2017, 5:47 pm   #29
BE Forum Addict
 
Snowy560's Avatar
 
Joined: Dec 2012
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 2,467
Snowy560 has a reputation beyond reputeSnowy560 has a reputation beyond reputeSnowy560 has a reputation beyond reputeSnowy560 has a reputation beyond reputeSnowy560 has a reputation beyond reputeSnowy560 has a reputation beyond reputeSnowy560 has a reputation beyond reputeSnowy560 has a reputation beyond reputeSnowy560 has a reputation beyond reputeSnowy560 has a reputation beyond reputeSnowy560 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Advice on Adjusting in Canada in year 1

I posted this in another thread: don't worry about whether the kids will get better education in the UK: Canada is the place!

http://www.bbc.com/news/business-40708421

Last edited by Snowy560; Sep 10th 2017 at 6:47 pm.
Snowy560 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Sep 10th 2017, 7:59 pm   #30
Collie Male
Forum Regular
 
Joined: Jan 2009
Location: Picton, ON
Posts: 150
Collie has a reputation beyond reputeCollie has a reputation beyond reputeCollie has a reputation beyond reputeCollie has a reputation beyond reputeCollie has a reputation beyond reputeCollie has a reputation beyond reputeCollie has a reputation beyond reputeCollie has a reputation beyond reputeCollie has a reputation beyond reputeCollie has a reputation beyond reputeCollie has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Advice on Adjusting in Canada in year 1

Thumbs up for Snowy's comments. I lectured at a Russell Group university in the UK, and also taught at Western (in London, ON) - the Canadian students were far more engaged, more numerate, just as literate and would volunteer answers in class (rather than staring at their toes). Plus they actually read what you recommended, and talked to you about it!
Collie is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Go Back   British Expats / Living & Moving Abroad / Canada


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT. The time now is 5:11 pm.


Powered by vBulletin: ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
© 1999-2010 BritishExpats.com