Queens English
Dec 13th 2005, 8:56 am
#1
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2004
Location: Somerly, Perth
Posts: 652
Queens English
For those missing the Queens English, "The new english dictionary"
ASSA COMMONS - Our Parliament Building.
ART ATTACK - Extremely perturbed, as in "Don't tell Sharon, She'll have
an art attack."
ARST - Past tense of ask. "Jordan, I must've arst ya free fazzund times
to clear up yer room."
BANNSA - A person employed to deny access or eject troublemakers at a
club. "Dave's got izself a job as a bannsa."
BANTY - A chocolate and coconut snack bar.
BAVE - To wash oneself.
BOAF - The two. "Oi Dave, ooja fancy most, Sharon or Tracy?" "Boaf" is
the reply.
BRANSATCH - Motor racing circuit in Kent.
CANCEL - Administrative body of a town. "Darren, wive ad annuvva letter
from the cancel."
CANTAFIT - Fake, as in money.
CHOONA - An edible fish purchased in a tin and usually prepared with
mayonnaise.
CORT A PANDA - A big hamburger (smaller than an arf panda)
DAN TO URF - Sensible, practical.
DANNING STREET - Where the Prime Minister lives.
DANSTEZ - On the ground floor , where the biggest telly is.
DREKKUN - Do you consider? as in "Which dog drekkun'll win the next
race?"
EFTY - Considerable. "Ere, Trace, this credit card bill's a bit efty."
EJOG - A small, spiky animal.
ERZ - Belonging to her.
EVVY - A big geezer who protects a smaller and more intelligent geezer,
usually for money. "My name's Frank and this is my evvy, Knuckles."
EYEBROW - Cultured, intellectual.
FANTIN - A jet of water for drinking or ornament.
FARVA - A posh way of saying Dad.
FATCHA - Margaret, British Prime Minister 1979 - 1990.
FINGY - A person or object whose name doesn't come to mind. "I ad it off
wiv fingy last night."
FONG - Skimpy undergarment.
FOR CRYIN AT LAD - Mild expletive showing annoyance or surprise. "For
cryin at lad, Britney, if I say Yes will you give it a rest?"
GAWON - Go on. "Gawon Darren, eat ya granny's cabbage, it'll do yer
good."
GIVE IT LARGE - To be thorough or enthusiastic.
GRAND - A football stadium. "It all wennoff atside the pub near the
grand."
HAITCH - Letter of the alphabet between G and I.
IBEEFA - The Spanish holiday island.
IFFY - Dubious. "Ere, Trace, I fink this bread pudding you made last
munf's a bit iffy."
INT - Indirect suggestion. " I gave Darren a sort of int that it was
time to wash iz feet."
IPS - An unknown area of a woman's body to which chocolate travels.
"That Mars Bar will go straight to me ips."
JA - Do you, did you. "Ja like me new airdo, Sharon."
JACKS - Five Pound note. "Lend us a jacks, wilya?"
JAFTA - Is it really necessary? "Oi mate, jafta keep doing that?"
KAF - Eating house open during the day.
KAFFY - A girl's name.
LAD - Noisy. "Jordan, turn that music dan, it's too lad."
LARJ - Enjoying oneself.
LEVVA - Material made from the skin of an animal.
LOTREE - Costs GBP1 for a ticket.
MA BLARCH - An arch near Hyde Park.
MAFFS - The study of numbers.
MANOR - Local area.
MINGER - An unattractive person (usually woman).
NARRA - Lacking breadth, with little margin. "Mum wannid to come rand
but changed er mind. That was a narra escape."
NARTAMEAN - Do you know what I mean? (sometimes used as janartamean).
NEEVA - Not one nor the other.
NES - National Elf Service.
OAF - A solemn declaration of truth or committment.
OLLADAY - Time taken away from home for rest and adventure.
ONNIST - Fair and just, without a lie. "I never did it, onnist."
OPPIT - Go away , as in "Oi you, oppit."
PADDA PUFF - Soft, lacking aggression. "They're alright up front but
they got a padda puff defence."
PACIFIC - Specific.
PAFFUL - Having much power or strength.
PAIPA - Sun, Mirror etc.
PANS AN ANNSIS - Imperial weight system.
PLAMMANS - A pub lunch usually made up of cheese and bread. >
QUALIDEE - Good, as in "West 'Am's new striker's qualidee."
RAND - A number of drinks purchased for a group.
RANDEER - Locally. "There ain't much call for it randeer."
REBAND - Period of recovery after rejection by a lover. "I couldn't 'elp
it. I was on the reband from Craig."
ROOFLESS - Without compassion.
SAFF - A direction of the compass, opposite north.
SAFFEND - An Essex seaside town.
SAWTED - Done, arranged, resolved.
SEEVIN - Very angry. "I woz seevin when I urd wot 'e sed."
TALENT - Attractive members of the opposite sex. "Dave's gan dan tan to
eye up the talent."
TAN ASS - A modern terraced house.
TOP EVVY - A woman of plentiful bosom. "Ere look at that, Darren, she's
well top evvy."
UG - An unattractive person. "Sharon's new geezer's a bit of an ug."
UMP - Upset, as in Got the Ump.
VACHER - A document which can be exchanged for goods or services. "I
got a vacher to get in cheap at Forp Park."
WANNED UP - Tense. "I'm all wanned up at the moment."
WAWAZUT? - I beg your pardon.
WENNOFF - A fight commenced as in "It all wennoff".
YAFTA - You must : "Even if yer guilty, yafta av mitigating
circumstances."
YOOF OSTALL - A place where holidaymakers can stay the night.
ZAGGERATE - To suggest something is better or bigger than is true.
"Craig, I must've told ya a fazzund times already." "Don't zaggerate, mum."
ASSA COMMONS - Our Parliament Building.
ART ATTACK - Extremely perturbed, as in "Don't tell Sharon, She'll have
an art attack."
ARST - Past tense of ask. "Jordan, I must've arst ya free fazzund times
to clear up yer room."
BANNSA - A person employed to deny access or eject troublemakers at a
club. "Dave's got izself a job as a bannsa."
BANTY - A chocolate and coconut snack bar.
BAVE - To wash oneself.
BOAF - The two. "Oi Dave, ooja fancy most, Sharon or Tracy?" "Boaf" is
the reply.
BRANSATCH - Motor racing circuit in Kent.
CANCEL - Administrative body of a town. "Darren, wive ad annuvva letter
from the cancel."
CANTAFIT - Fake, as in money.
CHOONA - An edible fish purchased in a tin and usually prepared with
mayonnaise.
CORT A PANDA - A big hamburger (smaller than an arf panda)
DAN TO URF - Sensible, practical.
DANNING STREET - Where the Prime Minister lives.
DANSTEZ - On the ground floor , where the biggest telly is.
DREKKUN - Do you consider? as in "Which dog drekkun'll win the next
race?"
EFTY - Considerable. "Ere, Trace, this credit card bill's a bit efty."
EJOG - A small, spiky animal.
ERZ - Belonging to her.
EVVY - A big geezer who protects a smaller and more intelligent geezer,
usually for money. "My name's Frank and this is my evvy, Knuckles."
EYEBROW - Cultured, intellectual.
FANTIN - A jet of water for drinking or ornament.
FARVA - A posh way of saying Dad.
FATCHA - Margaret, British Prime Minister 1979 - 1990.
FINGY - A person or object whose name doesn't come to mind. "I ad it off
wiv fingy last night."
FONG - Skimpy undergarment.
FOR CRYIN AT LAD - Mild expletive showing annoyance or surprise. "For
cryin at lad, Britney, if I say Yes will you give it a rest?"
GAWON - Go on. "Gawon Darren, eat ya granny's cabbage, it'll do yer
good."
GIVE IT LARGE - To be thorough or enthusiastic.
GRAND - A football stadium. "It all wennoff atside the pub near the
grand."
HAITCH - Letter of the alphabet between G and I.
IBEEFA - The Spanish holiday island.
IFFY - Dubious. "Ere, Trace, I fink this bread pudding you made last
munf's a bit iffy."
INT - Indirect suggestion. " I gave Darren a sort of int that it was
time to wash iz feet."
IPS - An unknown area of a woman's body to which chocolate travels.
"That Mars Bar will go straight to me ips."
JA - Do you, did you. "Ja like me new airdo, Sharon."
JACKS - Five Pound note. "Lend us a jacks, wilya?"
JAFTA - Is it really necessary? "Oi mate, jafta keep doing that?"
KAF - Eating house open during the day.
KAFFY - A girl's name.
LAD - Noisy. "Jordan, turn that music dan, it's too lad."
LARJ - Enjoying oneself.
LEVVA - Material made from the skin of an animal.
LOTREE - Costs GBP1 for a ticket.
MA BLARCH - An arch near Hyde Park.
MAFFS - The study of numbers.
MANOR - Local area.
MINGER - An unattractive person (usually woman).
NARRA - Lacking breadth, with little margin. "Mum wannid to come rand
but changed er mind. That was a narra escape."
NARTAMEAN - Do you know what I mean? (sometimes used as janartamean).
NEEVA - Not one nor the other.
NES - National Elf Service.
OAF - A solemn declaration of truth or committment.
OLLADAY - Time taken away from home for rest and adventure.
ONNIST - Fair and just, without a lie. "I never did it, onnist."
OPPIT - Go away , as in "Oi you, oppit."
PADDA PUFF - Soft, lacking aggression. "They're alright up front but
they got a padda puff defence."
PACIFIC - Specific.
PAFFUL - Having much power or strength.
PAIPA - Sun, Mirror etc.
PANS AN ANNSIS - Imperial weight system.
PLAMMANS - A pub lunch usually made up of cheese and bread. >
QUALIDEE - Good, as in "West 'Am's new striker's qualidee."
RAND - A number of drinks purchased for a group.
RANDEER - Locally. "There ain't much call for it randeer."
REBAND - Period of recovery after rejection by a lover. "I couldn't 'elp
it. I was on the reband from Craig."
ROOFLESS - Without compassion.
SAFF - A direction of the compass, opposite north.
SAFFEND - An Essex seaside town.
SAWTED - Done, arranged, resolved.
SEEVIN - Very angry. "I woz seevin when I urd wot 'e sed."
TALENT - Attractive members of the opposite sex. "Dave's gan dan tan to
eye up the talent."
TAN ASS - A modern terraced house.
TOP EVVY - A woman of plentiful bosom. "Ere look at that, Darren, she's
well top evvy."
UG - An unattractive person. "Sharon's new geezer's a bit of an ug."
UMP - Upset, as in Got the Ump.
VACHER - A document which can be exchanged for goods or services. "I
got a vacher to get in cheap at Forp Park."
WANNED UP - Tense. "I'm all wanned up at the moment."
WAWAZUT? - I beg your pardon.
WENNOFF - A fight commenced as in "It all wennoff".
YAFTA - You must : "Even if yer guilty, yafta av mitigating
circumstances."
YOOF OSTALL - A place where holidaymakers can stay the night.
ZAGGERATE - To suggest something is better or bigger than is true.
"Craig, I must've told ya a fazzund times already." "Don't zaggerate, mum."
Dec 13th 2005, 9:03 am
#2
Made the move -
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 2,910
Re: Queens English
LOL
Dec 13th 2005, 11:36 am
#3
Just Joined
Joined: Dec 2005
Location: Last few days of England..!
Posts: 2
Re: Queens English
Haha! Oh I'm really going to miss the little British accents!!
Dec 13th 2005, 11:57 am
#4
Victorian Evangelist
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Melbourne, by the beach, living the dream.
Posts: 7,704
Re: Queens English
Originally Posted by harveyhare
For those missing the Queens English, "The new english dictionary"
ASSA COMMONS - Our Parliament Building.
ART ATTACK - Extremely perturbed, as in "Don't tell Sharon, She'll have
an art attack."
ARST - Past tense of ask. "Jordan, I must've arst ya free fazzund times
to clear up yer room."
BANNSA - A person employed to deny access or eject troublemakers at a
club. "Dave's got izself a job as a bannsa."
BANTY - A chocolate and coconut snack bar.
BAVE - To wash oneself.
BOAF - The two. "Oi Dave, ooja fancy most, Sharon or Tracy?" "Boaf" is
the reply.
BRANSATCH - Motor racing circuit in Kent.
CANCEL - Administrative body of a town. "Darren, wive ad annuvva letter
from the cancel."
CANTAFIT - Fake, as in money.
CHOONA - An edible fish purchased in a tin and usually prepared with
mayonnaise.
CORT A PANDA - A big hamburger (smaller than an arf panda)
DAN TO URF - Sensible, practical.
DANNING STREET - Where the Prime Minister lives.
DANSTEZ - On the ground floor , where the biggest telly is.
DREKKUN - Do you consider? as in "Which dog drekkun'll win the next
race?"
EFTY - Considerable. "Ere, Trace, this credit card bill's a bit efty."
EJOG - A small, spiky animal.
ERZ - Belonging to her.
EVVY - A big geezer who protects a smaller and more intelligent geezer,
usually for money. "My name's Frank and this is my evvy, Knuckles."
EYEBROW - Cultured, intellectual.
FANTIN - A jet of water for drinking or ornament.
FARVA - A posh way of saying Dad.
FATCHA - Margaret, British Prime Minister 1979 - 1990.
FINGY - A person or object whose name doesn't come to mind. "I ad it off
wiv fingy last night."
FONG - Skimpy undergarment.
FOR CRYIN AT LAD - Mild expletive showing annoyance or surprise. "For
cryin at lad, Britney, if I say Yes will you give it a rest?"
GAWON - Go on. "Gawon Darren, eat ya granny's cabbage, it'll do yer
good."
GIVE IT LARGE - To be thorough or enthusiastic.
GRAND - A football stadium. "It all wennoff atside the pub near the
grand."
HAITCH - Letter of the alphabet between G and I.
IBEEFA - The Spanish holiday island.
IFFY - Dubious. "Ere, Trace, I fink this bread pudding you made last
munf's a bit iffy."
INT - Indirect suggestion. " I gave Darren a sort of int that it was
time to wash iz feet."
IPS - An unknown area of a woman's body to which chocolate travels.
"That Mars Bar will go straight to me ips."
JA - Do you, did you. "Ja like me new airdo, Sharon."
JACKS - Five Pound note. "Lend us a jacks, wilya?"
JAFTA - Is it really necessary? "Oi mate, jafta keep doing that?"
KAF - Eating house open during the day.
KAFFY - A girl's name.
LAD - Noisy. "Jordan, turn that music dan, it's too lad."
LARJ - Enjoying oneself.
LEVVA - Material made from the skin of an animal.
LOTREE - Costs GBP1 for a ticket.
MA BLARCH - An arch near Hyde Park.
MAFFS - The study of numbers.
MANOR - Local area.
MINGER - An unattractive person (usually woman).
NARRA - Lacking breadth, with little margin. "Mum wannid to come rand
but changed er mind. That was a narra escape."
NARTAMEAN - Do you know what I mean? (sometimes used as janartamean).
NEEVA - Not one nor the other.
NES - National Elf Service.
OAF - A solemn declaration of truth or committment.
OLLADAY - Time taken away from home for rest and adventure.
ONNIST - Fair and just, without a lie. "I never did it, onnist."
OPPIT - Go away , as in "Oi you, oppit."
PADDA PUFF - Soft, lacking aggression. "They're alright up front but
they got a padda puff defence."
PACIFIC - Specific.
PAFFUL - Having much power or strength.
PAIPA - Sun, Mirror etc.
PANS AN ANNSIS - Imperial weight system.
PLAMMANS - A pub lunch usually made up of cheese and bread. >
QUALIDEE - Good, as in "West 'Am's new striker's qualidee."
RAND - A number of drinks purchased for a group.
RANDEER - Locally. "There ain't much call for it randeer."
REBAND - Period of recovery after rejection by a lover. "I couldn't 'elp
it. I was on the reband from Craig."
ROOFLESS - Without compassion.
SAFF - A direction of the compass, opposite north.
SAFFEND - An Essex seaside town.
SAWTED - Done, arranged, resolved.
SEEVIN - Very angry. "I woz seevin when I urd wot 'e sed."
TALENT - Attractive members of the opposite sex. "Dave's gan dan tan to
eye up the talent."
TAN ASS - A modern terraced house.
TOP EVVY - A woman of plentiful bosom. "Ere look at that, Darren, she's
well top evvy."
UG - An unattractive person. "Sharon's new geezer's a bit of an ug."
UMP - Upset, as in Got the Ump.
VACHER - A document which can be exchanged for goods or services. "I
got a vacher to get in cheap at Forp Park."
WANNED UP - Tense. "I'm all wanned up at the moment."
WAWAZUT? - I beg your pardon.
WENNOFF - A fight commenced as in "It all wennoff".
YAFTA - You must : "Even if yer guilty, yafta av mitigating
circumstances."
YOOF OSTALL - A place where holidaymakers can stay the night.
ZAGGERATE - To suggest something is better or bigger than is true.
"Craig, I must've told ya a fazzund times already." "Don't zaggerate, mum."
ASSA COMMONS - Our Parliament Building.
ART ATTACK - Extremely perturbed, as in "Don't tell Sharon, She'll have
an art attack."
ARST - Past tense of ask. "Jordan, I must've arst ya free fazzund times
to clear up yer room."
BANNSA - A person employed to deny access or eject troublemakers at a
club. "Dave's got izself a job as a bannsa."
BANTY - A chocolate and coconut snack bar.
BAVE - To wash oneself.
BOAF - The two. "Oi Dave, ooja fancy most, Sharon or Tracy?" "Boaf" is
the reply.
BRANSATCH - Motor racing circuit in Kent.
CANCEL - Administrative body of a town. "Darren, wive ad annuvva letter
from the cancel."
CANTAFIT - Fake, as in money.
CHOONA - An edible fish purchased in a tin and usually prepared with
mayonnaise.
CORT A PANDA - A big hamburger (smaller than an arf panda)
DAN TO URF - Sensible, practical.
DANNING STREET - Where the Prime Minister lives.
DANSTEZ - On the ground floor , where the biggest telly is.
DREKKUN - Do you consider? as in "Which dog drekkun'll win the next
race?"
EFTY - Considerable. "Ere, Trace, this credit card bill's a bit efty."
EJOG - A small, spiky animal.
ERZ - Belonging to her.
EVVY - A big geezer who protects a smaller and more intelligent geezer,
usually for money. "My name's Frank and this is my evvy, Knuckles."
EYEBROW - Cultured, intellectual.
FANTIN - A jet of water for drinking or ornament.
FARVA - A posh way of saying Dad.
FATCHA - Margaret, British Prime Minister 1979 - 1990.
FINGY - A person or object whose name doesn't come to mind. "I ad it off
wiv fingy last night."
FONG - Skimpy undergarment.
FOR CRYIN AT LAD - Mild expletive showing annoyance or surprise. "For
cryin at lad, Britney, if I say Yes will you give it a rest?"
GAWON - Go on. "Gawon Darren, eat ya granny's cabbage, it'll do yer
good."
GIVE IT LARGE - To be thorough or enthusiastic.
GRAND - A football stadium. "It all wennoff atside the pub near the
grand."
HAITCH - Letter of the alphabet between G and I.
IBEEFA - The Spanish holiday island.
IFFY - Dubious. "Ere, Trace, I fink this bread pudding you made last
munf's a bit iffy."
INT - Indirect suggestion. " I gave Darren a sort of int that it was
time to wash iz feet."
IPS - An unknown area of a woman's body to which chocolate travels.
"That Mars Bar will go straight to me ips."
JA - Do you, did you. "Ja like me new airdo, Sharon."
JACKS - Five Pound note. "Lend us a jacks, wilya?"
JAFTA - Is it really necessary? "Oi mate, jafta keep doing that?"
KAF - Eating house open during the day.
KAFFY - A girl's name.
LAD - Noisy. "Jordan, turn that music dan, it's too lad."
LARJ - Enjoying oneself.
LEVVA - Material made from the skin of an animal.
LOTREE - Costs GBP1 for a ticket.
MA BLARCH - An arch near Hyde Park.
MAFFS - The study of numbers.
MANOR - Local area.
MINGER - An unattractive person (usually woman).
NARRA - Lacking breadth, with little margin. "Mum wannid to come rand
but changed er mind. That was a narra escape."
NARTAMEAN - Do you know what I mean? (sometimes used as janartamean).
NEEVA - Not one nor the other.
NES - National Elf Service.
OAF - A solemn declaration of truth or committment.
OLLADAY - Time taken away from home for rest and adventure.
ONNIST - Fair and just, without a lie. "I never did it, onnist."
OPPIT - Go away , as in "Oi you, oppit."
PADDA PUFF - Soft, lacking aggression. "They're alright up front but
they got a padda puff defence."
PACIFIC - Specific.
PAFFUL - Having much power or strength.
PAIPA - Sun, Mirror etc.
PANS AN ANNSIS - Imperial weight system.
PLAMMANS - A pub lunch usually made up of cheese and bread. >
QUALIDEE - Good, as in "West 'Am's new striker's qualidee."
RAND - A number of drinks purchased for a group.
RANDEER - Locally. "There ain't much call for it randeer."
REBAND - Period of recovery after rejection by a lover. "I couldn't 'elp
it. I was on the reband from Craig."
ROOFLESS - Without compassion.
SAFF - A direction of the compass, opposite north.
SAFFEND - An Essex seaside town.
SAWTED - Done, arranged, resolved.
SEEVIN - Very angry. "I woz seevin when I urd wot 'e sed."
TALENT - Attractive members of the opposite sex. "Dave's gan dan tan to
eye up the talent."
TAN ASS - A modern terraced house.
TOP EVVY - A woman of plentiful bosom. "Ere look at that, Darren, she's
well top evvy."
UG - An unattractive person. "Sharon's new geezer's a bit of an ug."
UMP - Upset, as in Got the Ump.
VACHER - A document which can be exchanged for goods or services. "I
got a vacher to get in cheap at Forp Park."
WANNED UP - Tense. "I'm all wanned up at the moment."
WAWAZUT? - I beg your pardon.
WENNOFF - A fight commenced as in "It all wennoff".
YAFTA - You must : "Even if yer guilty, yafta av mitigating
circumstances."
YOOF OSTALL - A place where holidaymakers can stay the night.
ZAGGERATE - To suggest something is better or bigger than is true.
"Craig, I must've told ya a fazzund times already." "Don't zaggerate, mum."
As quoted in The Oxchav English Dictionary.
Dec 13th 2005, 8:42 pm
#6
Banned
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: I refuse to answer on the grounds it may incriminate me
Posts: 4,513
Re: Queens English
well it aint her bleeding language really is it ? It should be the the queens german,
(in the words of the sex pistols).... god save the queen, she aint no human being
(in the words of the sex pistols).... god save the queen, she aint no human being
Dec 14th 2005, 12:18 am
#7
I Know What's Going On!
Joined: Jan 2003
Location: On The Outside Looking In!
Posts: 1,499
Re: Queens English
All this comes just days after the fact that the European Union Commissioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications,
rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euroenglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the
soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve
this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be
replased with "k". Not only will this klear up
konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be
replased by "f". This will make words like ! ;"fotograf"
20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where
more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters, which
have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also,
al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in
the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps
such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". during
ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of
kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German
like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euroenglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the
soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve
this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be
replased with "k". Not only will this klear up
konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be
replased by "f". This will make words like ! ;"fotograf"
20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where
more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters, which
have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also,
al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in
the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps
such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". during
ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of
kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German
like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
Dec 14th 2005, 12:50 am
#8
Banned
Joined: Aug 2003
Location: I refuse to answer on the grounds it may incriminate me
Posts: 4,513
Re: Queens English
Originally Posted by SteveBannister
All this comes just days after the fact that the European Union Commissioners have announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications,
rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euroenglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the
soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve
this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be
replased with "k". Not only will this klear up
konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be
replased by "f". This will make words like ! ;"fotograf"
20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where
more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters, which
have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also,
al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in
the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps
such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". during
ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of
kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German
like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as Euroenglish (Euro for short).
In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the
soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve
this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be
replased with "k". Not only will this klear up
konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be
replased by "f". This will make words like ! ;"fotograf"
20 per sent shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new
spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where
more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkourage the removal of double letters, which
have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also,
al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in
the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps
such as replasing "th" by "z" and "w" by "v". during
ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from
vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of
kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.
Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German
like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
Dec 14th 2005, 1:01 am
#9
Banned
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 728
Re: Queens English
In contrast to this, have you noticed how different immigrant populations in Australia pronounce and speak strayan or strine as some say?
I love listening to the Greeks and Italians, makes me smile "bladdy" this "bladdy" that
I love listening to the Greeks and Italians, makes me smile "bladdy" this "bladdy" that
