ozzieeagle

Simple question difficult topic. Over the years this subject has come up time and time again, especially when it comes to marriages between people from different countries.

So I'd like to try a Poll as this subject intrigues me greatly. Basically the question is given any of the major english speaking countries in the world. If your partner felt quiet vehmently that they didn't want to live in your original country of origin, would you live in theirs with no qualms ?

For me it's an emphatic yes, as I value the relationship more than the country, easily and without question, given the differences between most westernised English speaking countries for me at least are better than being without said Country.

So a straight out yes or no option is what I'm after.

Give your reasons afterwards please.

Gibbo

I have already done it. Many moons ago we were all set to leave for Australia and I said I didn't want to go. OH was very disappointed but didn't argue. After a couple of months I felt very guilty so told him I would go. We got here and for the first 5 years i was unhappy but would never have left him here and returned home.

sonlymewalter

It's not that black or white and it depends on so many things that a yes or no answer is impossible for me mate

scottishcelts

Spot on. Same goes for me.

quoll

Yes, I did, for many years - you can't cuddle a country after all. But (and it became a big but for me) living in a place I didn't belong for so long eventually took its toll (3 decades - you get less or murder!) and what started as a nice adventure became a nightmare and I became depressed, unfit, overweight and generally lost my sense of "me". It wasn't until I found myself living back in the place I do belong that the depression lifted almost magically, I've lost a person worth of weight and become so much fitter. I now laugh - a lot!

Would I do it again? Sure I would, the DH is the most important person in my life and our agreement is that we will return to Aus as he is doing the hard yards at the mo and living in my place. I'm hoping that when I do have to return that the situational depression won't kick in again - as we won't be going back until my parents have kicked the bucket there will be marginally less guilt along with the lack of belonging but we shall see!

I never believed that a wrong place could make such an impact until I experienced it first hand.

ozzieeagle

Those not choosing are picking Country as far as I'm concerned.

They just don't want to say it to themselves out loud.

Dreamy

It's easy for me to answer as I've never had to choose - we both love living here, we both loved living in the UK - but I don't think I'd ever choose location over the man I love.

Mind you, he does what he's told so perhaps he should be answering this

carolinephillips

Yes- I chose to go to Australia with my OH. I think he was very surprised I said yes, but I could see how unhappy he was getting with everything in the UK, so despite my hatred of change, I upped sticks- I did have qualms however.

Luckily I like it here. Hate to think what would have happened if I had hated it, but for me, your life is what and where you choose to make it. My life isn't that different here.

RedDragon2008

Problem is people are putting a sense of permanency on both place and relationships.

Life does not always turn out that way

I go for where and how I will be most happy

Selfish? its my life

scottishcelts

Depends. I ain't wasting my life living with/where someone else wants to live when they are not willing to reciprocate.

How much 'living where the other half demands cos they is a selfish bassa' should a person tolerate?

scottishcelts

Agreed. We need an option c up there.

DeadVim

My OH refused to live in the UK so I'm voting No and returning serve.

I also think you need to be true to yourself first, relationships are transitory. Most of them anyway ...

Bix

Voted no.

There are many countries in this world I just would not live in.

Wouldn't be an issue though as we think alike in that respect.

ozzieeagle

My then GF did that back in 77, quite wise for someone aged 21/22, this was in the UK so she knew what it was all about... Although to be fair to her decision we were in a flat in a terraced house in Peckham when she told me this very firmly. This was before we got engaged, before any dead set commitment on my behalf. Cut forward 20 years plus and she would definitely go anywhere with me.

I think the negatives call it habit, the positives call that stage in life bonding.

People do change their views as relationships progress.... It's that communication and knowing whats important to one another in the early stages that seems to be the hurdle.


Another factor seems to be, is it seems to be women in general that feel the most passionate about where they will live. Not 100pct sure on that one yet, but seems that way to me.

No rights or wrongs in this though, just curious to see if there is a pattern.

scrubbedexpat098

I voted yes, anywhere would be a shithole without her