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One for the Men only!!!(and VERY VERY brave ladies!)

One for the Men only!!!(and VERY VERY brave ladies!)

Old Jul 15th 2006, 11:02 pm
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Default One for the Men only!!!(and VERY VERY brave ladies!)

Ok mates,time for some humour at the females expense...I'll start





FEMALE PRAYER

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed,

When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to "how big's my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me to no end,

And always be my very best friend.

Amen.




MALE PRAYER

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with big tits

who owns a Bottle shop

and a boat.

This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.



Amen.
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Old Jul 15th 2006, 11:21 pm
  #2  
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Default Re: One for the Men only!!!(and VERY VERY brave ladies!)

Originally Posted by >Trigger<
Ok mates,time for some humour at the females expense...I'll start





FEMALE PRAYER

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed,

When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to "how big's my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me to no end,

And always be my very best friend.

Amen.




MALE PRAYER

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with big tits

who owns a Bottle shop

and a boat.

This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.



Amen.
Brilliant, have a pint.
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Old Jul 15th 2006, 11:51 pm
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Default Re: One for the Men only!!!(and VERY VERY brave ladies!)

Brill

.. have another pint !
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Old Jul 16th 2006, 12:02 am
  #4  
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Default Re: One for the Men only!!!(and VERY VERY brave ladies!)

Originally Posted by Jimclevs
Brill

.. have another pint !

Are we trying to get him p*ssed.
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Old Jul 16th 2006, 12:06 am
  #5  
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Default Re: One for the Men only!!!(and VERY VERY brave ladies!)

Originally Posted by The Bloke
Are we trying to get him p*ssed.

ahhh I thought this was gonna be about prostates, willy's and balls (looks like i was right with the latter )
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Old Jul 16th 2006, 2:53 am
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Default Re: One for the Men only!!!(and VERY VERY brave ladies!)

Originally Posted by glittababe
ahhh I thought this was gonna be about prostates, willy's and balls (looks like i was right with the latter )
Defn of ideal GF?

One that does BJ after AS
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Old Jul 16th 2006, 3:53 am
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Default Re: One for the Men only!!!(and VERY VERY brave ladies!)

yeah....then wants to kiss ya good night :scared:
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Old Jul 16th 2006, 4:17 am
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Default Re: One for the Men only!!!(and VERY VERY brave ladies!)

Originally Posted by The Bloke
Brilliant, have a pint.
Sleeping in the shed tonight, are you??!!
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Old Jul 16th 2006, 11:37 am
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Default Re: One for the Men only!!!(and VERY VERY brave ladies!)

Originally Posted by Pollyana
Sleeping in the shed tonight, are you??!!
Hey sleeping in the shed is fun , its just like camping
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Old Jul 16th 2006, 11:49 am
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Default Re: One for the Men only!!!(and VERY VERY brave ladies!)

Originally Posted by Perthforme
Hey sleeping in the shed is fun , its just like camping
Do it a lot then, do we?
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Old Jul 16th 2006, 11:52 am
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Default Re: One for the Men only!!!(and VERY VERY brave ladies!)

Originally Posted by Deer Hunter
Do it a lot then, do we?
No i'm a good boy
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Old Jul 16th 2006, 11:52 am
  #12  
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Default Re: One for the Men only!!!(and VERY VERY brave ladies!)

Originally Posted by >Trigger<
Ok mates,time for some humour at the females expense...I'll start





FEMALE PRAYER

Before I lay me down to sleep,

I pray for a man, who's not a creep,

One who's handsome, smart and strong

One who loves to listen long,

One who thinks before he speaks,

One who'll call, not wait for weeks.

I pray he's gainfully employed,

When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.

Pulls out my chair and opens my door,

Massages my back and begs to do more.

Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,

Knows what to answer to "how big's my behind?"

I pray that this man will love me to no end,

And always be my very best friend.

Amen.



MALE PRAYER

I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with big tits

who owns a Bottle shop

and a boat.

This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.



Amen.
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Old Jul 19th 2006, 10:28 am
  #13  
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Default Re: One for the Men only!!!(and VERY VERY brave ladies!)

For all the ladies who can never understand what language men really speak!

1. I am hungry = I am hungry
2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy
3. I am tired = I am tired
4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
5. I love you = Let's have sex now
6. I am bored = Can we have sex now?
7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you
8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you
9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you
10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you
11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay
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