This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little
Nov 11th 2007, 9:29 pm
#1
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 7,834
This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little
This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little:
Once upon a time
~~~~~~~~
in a land far away,
~~~~~~~~
a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess
~~~~~~~~
happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
~~~~~~~~
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: ' Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
~~~~~~~~
One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am
~~~~~~~~
and then, my sweet, we can marry
~~~~~~~~
and set up housekeeping in your castle
~~~~~~~~
with my mother,
~~~~~~~~
where you can prepare my meals,
~~~~~~~~
clean my clothes, bear my children,
~~~~~~~~
and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so. '
~~~~~~~~
That night,
~~~~~~~~
as the princess dined sumptuously
~~~~~~~~
on lightly sauteed frog legs
~~~~~~~~
seasoned in a white wine
~~~~~~~
and onion cream sauce,
~~~~~~~~
she chuckled and thought to herself:
~~~~~~~~
I don't ****in think so.
Once upon a time
~~~~~~~~
in a land far away,
~~~~~~~~
a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess
~~~~~~~~
happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
~~~~~~~~
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: ' Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
~~~~~~~~
One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am
~~~~~~~~
and then, my sweet, we can marry
~~~~~~~~
and set up housekeeping in your castle
~~~~~~~~
with my mother,
~~~~~~~~
where you can prepare my meals,
~~~~~~~~
clean my clothes, bear my children,
~~~~~~~~
and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so. '
~~~~~~~~
That night,
~~~~~~~~
as the princess dined sumptuously
~~~~~~~~
on lightly sauteed frog legs
~~~~~~~~
seasoned in a white wine
~~~~~~~
and onion cream sauce,
~~~~~~~~
she chuckled and thought to herself:
~~~~~~~~
I don't ****in think so.
Nov 11th 2007, 9:36 pm
#2
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 6,135
Re: This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little
This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little:
Once upon a time
~~~~~~~~
in a land far away,
~~~~~~~~
a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess
~~~~~~~~
happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
~~~~~~~~
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: ' Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
~~~~~~~~
One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am
~~~~~~~~
and then, my sweet, we can marry
~~~~~~~~
and set up housekeeping in your castle
~~~~~~~~
with my mother,
~~~~~~~~
where you can prepare my meals,
~~~~~~~~
clean my clothes, bear my children,
~~~~~~~~
and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so. '
~~~~~~~~
That night,
~~~~~~~~
as the princess dined sumptuously
~~~~~~~~
on lightly sauteed frog legs
~~~~~~~~
seasoned in a white wine
~~~~~~~
and onion cream sauce,
~~~~~~~~
she chuckled and thought to herself:
~~~~~~~~
I don't ****in think so.
Once upon a time
~~~~~~~~
in a land far away,
~~~~~~~~
a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess
~~~~~~~~
happened upon a frog as she sat
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
~~~~~~~~
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: ' Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
~~~~~~~~
One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am
~~~~~~~~
and then, my sweet, we can marry
~~~~~~~~
and set up housekeeping in your castle
~~~~~~~~
with my mother,
~~~~~~~~
where you can prepare my meals,
~~~~~~~~
clean my clothes, bear my children,
~~~~~~~~
and forever feel
grateful and happy doing so. '
~~~~~~~~
That night,
~~~~~~~~
as the princess dined sumptuously
~~~~~~~~
on lightly sauteed frog legs
~~~~~~~~
seasoned in a white wine
~~~~~~~
and onion cream sauce,
~~~~~~~~
she chuckled and thought to herself:
~~~~~~~~
I don't ****in think so.
I wonder did she get indigestion?????
Nov 11th 2007, 10:15 pm
#3
NO, we're GOING there....
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Sorted x
Posts: 220
Re: This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little
Love it
Nov 12th 2007, 12:02 am
#4
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little
Nov 12th 2007, 12:11 am
#5
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little
I must be one sick parent. I've been changing the ends of fairy tales for a very long time...
And the end of the Miffy book about the Zoo.... It says 'The Lion Tamer snaps his whip'(or something)... so I add 'And then one of the lions roars and bites his head off'...
Prince climbing up Rapunzel's hair also comes to a sticky end on the parapet ...
And the end of the Miffy book about the Zoo.... It says 'The Lion Tamer snaps his whip'(or something)... so I add 'And then one of the lions roars and bites his head off'...
Prince climbing up Rapunzel's hair also comes to a sticky end on the parapet ...
Nov 12th 2007, 12:13 am
#6
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 6,135
Re: This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little
I must be one sick parent. I've been changing the ends of fairy tales for a very long time...
And the end of the Miffy book about the Zoo.... It says 'The Lion Tamer snaps his whip'(or something)... so I add 'And then one of the lions roars and bites his head off'...
Prince climbing up Rapunzel's hair also comes to a sticky end on the parapet ...
And the end of the Miffy book about the Zoo.... It says 'The Lion Tamer snaps his whip'(or something)... so I add 'And then one of the lions roars and bites his head off'...
Prince climbing up Rapunzel's hair also comes to a sticky end on the parapet ...
Nothing like preparing them for the real world
Nov 12th 2007, 2:54 am
#7
live free or die
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Valhalla
Posts: 6,967
Re: This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little
wicked joke xxx
Nov 12th 2007, 8:21 am
#8
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Tropical North QLD
Posts: 21,434
Re: This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little
Love it Biggy!
Nov 12th 2007, 8:23 am
#9
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 8,067
Re: This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little
great!
tiddlypom, we've been doing something similar but with nursery rhymes!
tiddlypom, we've been doing something similar but with nursery rhymes!
Nov 12th 2007, 8:40 am
#10
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Joined: Sep 2006
Location: 'stralia
Posts: 2,383
Re: This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little
Excellent!
Reminds me a bit of Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes, I love them.
Reminds me a bit of Roald Dahl's Revolting Rhymes, I love them.
Nov 12th 2007, 8:54 am
#11
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 835
Re: This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little
I must be one sick parent. I've been changing the ends of fairy tales for a very long time...
And the end of the Miffy book about the Zoo.... It says 'The Lion Tamer snaps his whip'(or something)... so I add 'And then one of the lions roars and bites his head off'...
Prince climbing up Rapunzel's hair also comes to a sticky end on the parapet ...
And the end of the Miffy book about the Zoo.... It says 'The Lion Tamer snaps his whip'(or something)... so I add 'And then one of the lions roars and bites his head off'...
Prince climbing up Rapunzel's hair also comes to a sticky end on the parapet ...
Nov 12th 2007, 8:55 am
#12
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Happily in Adelaide
Posts: 11,994
Re: This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little
Excellent! I will print it out for my little one. Who loves Roald Dahl and hates fairy tales!
Nov 12th 2007, 8:57 am
#13
Joined: May 2006
Location: in the Sydney asylum
Posts: 20,690
Re: This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little
I love that gives me a chuckle
Nov 12th 2007, 9:07 am
#15
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Joined: Mar 2007
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 835
Re: This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little
No burial, you see her in the coffin then the lid goes on! My mum wasn't very impressed when my little one said "funny nanny dead". Maybe not the best bedtime reading for a 22 month old but hey better to start them young. Now where did I put my Stephen king books