Gordon Barlow

"Had Cricket Australia taken a last-minute choice to replace the entire team with plush toy platypuses, they still could have scored 60. And probably almost made it to lunch." This quote from Cricinfo's report on the Australian innings. Sums it up pretty well. What a shower!

Alfresco

Yep, seen that a few times with cricket. It's a funny game.

Beoz

It's even more simple than that. Hit the top of off stump and England would have been all out for under a tonne. Alas lets do some half volleys, wide outside off and legside crap.

cresta57

The entire Australian cricket team has applied for political asylum this evening claiming threats, physical harm or denigration of their human dignity should they return to their home country.....................

spouse of scouse

60 - how embarrassment

Beoz

The 60 doesn't bother me. The 4/274 is a f88king disgrace in those conditions against those batsmen.

GarryP

I thought the point was that the conditions weren't particularly for the bowlers (ball wasn't swinging much) it was more that the Aus batsmen were screwing it up monumentally, edging it to catch too wilfully. Hell, they ought to have had someone who could dig in and just defend their way past lunch.

The real fun will come with the 2nd aussie innings. They are going to be shattered, and facing a mountain of deficit. If the pitch is at all favourable they might crumble again. One drubbing is unfortunate, two is career ending.

Amazulu

I like Australia's new batsman, Extras who top scored with 14

Great bowling
Awesome fielding (catch by Stokes was legendary)
Terrible shot selection
What happened to patience? This isn't the IPL

Beoz

The ball doesn't have to swing much. It has to swing or seam a little bit. Too much swing will never catch an edge. You want to it swing or seam a fraction, late, and in both directions. Have another look at those wickets. Perfect bowling conditions. Awesome bowling. Have a look at the Starc wickets. Brilliant deliveries too. The difference is, the England bowlers can do it with so much more consistency than the Aussie bowlers.

Pollyana

The excuses are coming from all sides now, Latest is that its not the fault of the players, but of their wives and girlfriends.......

As Australia reels from disastrous Ashes loss, commentator Ian Healy asks if the WAGs are to blame

Beoz

Forget my opinion ...... the best captain never to captain has one and its not targetted at the batsmen either.

TEST legend Shane Warne took aim at the Australian selectors — particularly the omission of Peter Siddle.

“If Peter Siddle wasn’t going to play in these conditions, I don’t know why he’s on the tour for,” snapped Warne in Sky Sports commentary.

“He was going to be the guy to bowl overs. Hazlewood is nowhere near consistent enough to bowl 20-25 overs a day and dry up an end. He just hasn’t been getting it right and it’s putting so much pressure on Mitchell Johnson.

“They needed that fifth bowler. If they were going to leave out Voges or Mitchell Marsh out it had to be Voges. At least they’d have that option of someone else to bowl. There’s not so much between them as batsmen but at least you get the bowling.”

GarryP

Well, kind of depends on what you are aiming for. A lot of swing can get it back onto the wicket - rather than relying on an edge and a good fielder.

England did well to exploit the situation (both the bowling and the fielding), but if Australia had dug in it would have ended up a slow motion disaster, rather than a high speed crash. Hell, conditions might well have changed and given them a way back in after steadying their nerves.

As it is the ignominy of an innings defeat to lose the Ashes looms...

Pollyana

Whatever people think of him personally these days, Shane talks a lot of sense about the game.
I agree he should've captained the Aussie team years ago but he was too wild and too outspoken. Fact remains his knowledge of the game is superb and he always had plans to deal with differing conditions. I read a comment today (clearly in jest) on the BBC - saying that the Aussies were going to recall Shane and Ponting for the Oval. I'm not convinced about Ponting but honestly Shane could probably do pretty well for his country even now, couldn't be worse than the current selection

Beoz

Risky play that strategy. Firstly you rely on your big swing direction to be lined up with a left or right hand batsman. So for a big inswinging left armer you can only get the right handers at the stumps. Then you are mostly relying on LBW's if you haven't been whipped off the pads for 4.

Way better off aiming for the top of off as England do.

Its not a problem though. So much more fun winning 5-0 in your own backyard

Beoz

England recalled a 39 year old has been to captain half way through the 81 Ashes. It worked a treat.

I would have no problem if they sent Warnie out there just to make the decisions and to tap the bowlers on the arse between overs.

Michael Clarke is a broken man. Not sure what has happened. He used to run around the field, pumping up players, making excellent field placings, mentally disintegrating Cook, etc. He's stopped all that - perhaps his WAG has dumped him