Cousins kids want to visit us in Aus.
Jan 6th 2013, 6:51 am
#16
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Victoria
Posts: 1,395
Re: Cousins kids want to visit us in Aus.
My cousin and his girlfriend (whom we hadn't met before) stayed with us for a few days on their round the world trip 3 years ago. They were perfect guests and it was a lovely time. Although our extended family had meet ups in the UK, we weren't exactly really close, so it could have been very different. Would have them back any time...........
For a positive story!
For a positive story!
Jan 6th 2013, 7:12 am
#17
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Somewhere South... Not Telling YOU
Posts: 10,959
Re: Cousins kids want to visit us in Aus.
The niece and nephews this Christmas visit was one of the best guest experiences we have had....
So good thatbthe nephew is coming back on a WHV in June
So good thatbthe nephew is coming back on a WHV in June
Jan 6th 2013, 7:36 am
#18
MODERATOR
Joined: Nov 2002
Location: Redneck Wonderland
Posts: 9,932
Re: Cousins kids want to visit us in Aus.
We've had heaps of visitors, never found ourselves out of pocket yet. There's a simple way to do it & that is to explain to any guests that it costs money to run the house & it's not a free stay. Sure the room is free as is the T.V etc. The food, wine & beer are split equally. We have a kitty when we have guests come to stay. We all kick in a couple of hundred bucks to buy day to day food. If it runs out we chip in again. This has worked well for all our guests, some of whom stay up to 6 months at a time.
If it's just a couple of nights it's no problem.
If it's just a couple of nights it's no problem.
Jan 6th 2013, 11:05 pm
#19
DownUnder
Joined: May 2003
Location: Thorneside, Brissy
Posts: 1,709
Re: Cousins kids want to visit us in Aus.
We had a 17 yr come over. Suppose to out going , fun, just using us as a base.
Came for 3 months with $160 in his pocket, and did not a lot apart from play xbox with my kids. We paid for many trips for him etc. So outgoing that it would be on a different floor of a bookshop with the missus in case he got lost.
Came for 3 months with $160 in his pocket, and did not a lot apart from play xbox with my kids. We paid for many trips for him etc. So outgoing that it would be on a different floor of a bookshop with the missus in case he got lost.
Jan 7th 2013, 1:33 am
#20
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Thread Starter
Joined: Feb 2005
Posts: 15,526
Re: Cousins kids want to visit us in Aus.
We had a 17 yr come over. Suppose to out going , fun, just using us as a base.
Came for 3 months with $160 in his pocket, and did not a lot apart from play xbox with my kids. We paid for many trips for him etc. So outgoing that it would be on a different floor of a bookshop with the missus in case he got lost.
Came for 3 months with $160 in his pocket, and did not a lot apart from play xbox with my kids. We paid for many trips for him etc. So outgoing that it would be on a different floor of a bookshop with the missus in case he got lost.
If that happens to me, I'll gladly pay their fare home straight away... just to send a message.... plus it could work out cheaper.
Last edited by ozzieeagle; Jan 7th 2013 at 1:37 am.
Jan 7th 2013, 1:47 am
#21
not sure...
Joined: May 2007
Location: out in the boonies
Posts: 1,537
Re: Cousins kids want to visit us in Aus.
I loved having our various visitors over Christmas....but....
I do wish they wouldn't:
use a scouring pad to wash my expensive non stick pans, thereby scraping the shit out of them
ignore the obvious pile of beach towels in the linen cupboard and take my lovely pale blue towels to the beach and the fireworks. The grass stains haven't come out.
use the last of the milk and not tell anyone, meaning first day back at work there was no coffee. Kill me now.
eat our Christmas chocolates sent over by family in the UK, with the reasoning that 'it's after Christmas now anyway'! I know it's only chocolate but it was sent all the way from the UK by the MIL, said visitors are returing to the UK tomorrow and so can eat all the Cadburys they like!
I do wish they wouldn't:
use a scouring pad to wash my expensive non stick pans, thereby scraping the shit out of them
ignore the obvious pile of beach towels in the linen cupboard and take my lovely pale blue towels to the beach and the fireworks. The grass stains haven't come out.
use the last of the milk and not tell anyone, meaning first day back at work there was no coffee. Kill me now.
eat our Christmas chocolates sent over by family in the UK, with the reasoning that 'it's after Christmas now anyway'! I know it's only chocolate but it was sent all the way from the UK by the MIL, said visitors are returing to the UK tomorrow and so can eat all the Cadburys they like!
Jan 7th 2013, 2:07 am
#22
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Cousins kids want to visit us in Aus.
To me if they cant afford the cost of accommodation then how can they fund a holiday to Australia in the first place?
$160 - that is all he brought with him? Im afraid I would have sent him home or given him one week to find a job - if he was on a WHV.
People take the piss and that is certainly taking the piss big time.
$160 - that is all he brought with him? Im afraid I would have sent him home or given him one week to find a job - if he was on a WHV.
People take the piss and that is certainly taking the piss big time.
Jan 7th 2013, 2:45 am
#23
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jun 2004
Location: Hills District
Posts: 1,399
Re: Cousins kids want to visit us in Aus.
A good number of years ago one of my cousins asked if his son and nephew could use my place as as a home base during their cycling trip to Australia. I'd never met the boys. Arrived home one afternoon and found them sitting at the top of my driveway. Only knew it was them as my cousin's son was the spitting image of his grandfather. They were beaut kids. They cycled to the Gold Coast, Adelaide and went fruit picking near Alice Springs. We had them for a week or so between trips. There was no problems and we were happy that they came. Don't know if being a mother of 4 sons helped because I'm not shy when it comes to laying down ground rules. Couldn't have been that bad as even after 20 years they still keep in touch. You'll enjoy having them I'm sure.
Jan 7th 2013, 3:14 am
#24
Forum Regular
Joined: Mar 2009
Location: Frenchs Forest, Sydney
Posts: 218
Re: Cousins kids want to visit us in Aus.
Just my 2 cents here:
We had a cousins daughter (26yr) come stay with us in London, who I last saw as a child. I remember saying "she can stay with us till she gets on her own feet", how wrong was I. She stayed with us for 2 months, did not contribute at all, lived on the couch watching TV, complained about everything including (her own) hair on the bathroom floor. We bent over backwards trying to organize work for her (was beneath her), dragged her along to all our social events and really went out of our way to include her and make her succeed in her move to London. Then one day I sat down in front of the PC, and discovered she had left a sent email open in full view. It was a email in which she completely slagged my husband and I, very hurtful, untrue things said. What really came as a slap to the face was that up to that minute we thought she liked us, seems she was just playing us to get free room and board. Well, my husband gave her 24h to pack up and leave, she was back on a plane to Mummy in less. End of the story, huge family split and even elderly relatives now dont speak to each other after taking opposing sides. Especially since we now live in Aus I dont give a monkeys about them, but my poor mum gets the whole force of the "scandal". This happened in Feb '08. Last year "the other side's" matriarch said she would extended a "full pardon" to us if we apologised for the hurt caused to the poor lass when we "showed her the door like a dog". I would rather eat my own arm.
Please learn from our mistakes. Set all the rules down on paper before they even get on the plane to you. Be very businesslike about it. Let them agree and sign the document. Rather too safe than sorry.
We had a cousins daughter (26yr) come stay with us in London, who I last saw as a child. I remember saying "she can stay with us till she gets on her own feet", how wrong was I. She stayed with us for 2 months, did not contribute at all, lived on the couch watching TV, complained about everything including (her own) hair on the bathroom floor. We bent over backwards trying to organize work for her (was beneath her), dragged her along to all our social events and really went out of our way to include her and make her succeed in her move to London. Then one day I sat down in front of the PC, and discovered she had left a sent email open in full view. It was a email in which she completely slagged my husband and I, very hurtful, untrue things said. What really came as a slap to the face was that up to that minute we thought she liked us, seems she was just playing us to get free room and board. Well, my husband gave her 24h to pack up and leave, she was back on a plane to Mummy in less. End of the story, huge family split and even elderly relatives now dont speak to each other after taking opposing sides. Especially since we now live in Aus I dont give a monkeys about them, but my poor mum gets the whole force of the "scandal". This happened in Feb '08. Last year "the other side's" matriarch said she would extended a "full pardon" to us if we apologised for the hurt caused to the poor lass when we "showed her the door like a dog". I would rather eat my own arm.
Please learn from our mistakes. Set all the rules down on paper before they even get on the plane to you. Be very businesslike about it. Let them agree and sign the document. Rather too safe than sorry.
Jan 7th 2013, 4:08 am
#25
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Cousins kids want to visit us in Aus.
Just my 2 cents here:
We had a cousins daughter (26yr) come stay with us in London, who I last saw as a child. I remember saying "she can stay with us till she gets on her own feet", how wrong was I. She stayed with us for 2 months, did not contribute at all, lived on the couch watching TV, complained about everything including (her own) hair on the bathroom floor. We bent over backwards trying to organize work for her (was beneath her), dragged her along to all our social events and really went out of our way to include her and make her succeed in her move to London. Then one day I sat down in front of the PC, and discovered she had left a sent email open in full view. It was a email in which she completely slagged my husband and I, very hurtful, untrue things said. What really came as a slap to the face was that up to that minute we thought she liked us, seems she was just playing us to get free room and board. Well, my husband gave her 24h to pack up and leave, she was back on a plane to Mummy in less. End of the story, huge family split and even elderly relatives now dont speak to each other after taking opposing sides. Especially since we now live in Aus I dont give a monkeys about them, but my poor mum gets the whole force of the "scandal". This happened in Feb '08. Last year "the other side's" matriarch said she would extended a "full pardon" to us if we apologised for the hurt caused to the poor lass when we "showed her the door like a dog". I would rather eat my own arm.
Please learn from our mistakes. Set all the rules down on paper before they even get on the plane to you. Be very businesslike about it. Let them agree and sign the document. Rather too safe than sorry.
We had a cousins daughter (26yr) come stay with us in London, who I last saw as a child. I remember saying "she can stay with us till she gets on her own feet", how wrong was I. She stayed with us for 2 months, did not contribute at all, lived on the couch watching TV, complained about everything including (her own) hair on the bathroom floor. We bent over backwards trying to organize work for her (was beneath her), dragged her along to all our social events and really went out of our way to include her and make her succeed in her move to London. Then one day I sat down in front of the PC, and discovered she had left a sent email open in full view. It was a email in which she completely slagged my husband and I, very hurtful, untrue things said. What really came as a slap to the face was that up to that minute we thought she liked us, seems she was just playing us to get free room and board. Well, my husband gave her 24h to pack up and leave, she was back on a plane to Mummy in less. End of the story, huge family split and even elderly relatives now dont speak to each other after taking opposing sides. Especially since we now live in Aus I dont give a monkeys about them, but my poor mum gets the whole force of the "scandal". This happened in Feb '08. Last year "the other side's" matriarch said she would extended a "full pardon" to us if we apologised for the hurt caused to the poor lass when we "showed her the door like a dog". I would rather eat my own arm.
Please learn from our mistakes. Set all the rules down on paper before they even get on the plane to you. Be very businesslike about it. Let them agree and sign the document. Rather too safe than sorry.
Those that have stayed with us have been good friends that we have invited. Anyone that has invited themselves are the ones that forgot we existed in the UK. I am not of the belief that because it is family they have to be accommodated because that is like saying that you lose your rights to say no, purely because it is family.
We dont have the money or the space and above all, we get to choose our visitors, and to me, inviting yourself or organizing gap years for your kids to say with 'the aunty in Australia' is taking the piss.
We have been firm from the beginning but it is only after my Dad came to visit, that others want to come and bring their kids as well - 4 people in one single bed and they say they dont mind
I am glad it works well for others but for my husband and myself - we have drawn our line/boundaries and are very clear about who can and cant stay with us.
Jan 7th 2013, 6:39 am
#26
Chan eil aon chànan gu le
Joined: Feb 2009
Location: On the ning nang nong
Posts: 22,437
Re: Cousins kids want to visit us in Aus.
Just my 2 cents here:
We had a cousins daughter (26yr) come stay with us in London, who I last saw as a child. I remember saying "she can stay with us till she gets on her own feet", how wrong was I. She stayed with us for 2 months, did not contribute at all, lived on the couch watching TV, complained about everything including (her own) hair on the bathroom floor. We bent over backwards trying to organize work for her (was beneath her), dragged her along to all our social events and really went out of our way to include her and make her succeed in her move to London. Then one day I sat down in front of the PC, and discovered she had left a sent email open in full view. It was a email in which she completely slagged my husband and I, very hurtful, untrue things said. What really came as a slap to the face was that up to that minute we thought she liked us, seems she was just playing us to get free room and board. Well, my husband gave her 24h to pack up and leave, she was back on a plane to Mummy in less. End of the story, huge family split and even elderly relatives now dont speak to each other after taking opposing sides. Especially since we now live in Aus I dont give a monkeys about them, but my poor mum gets the whole force of the "scandal". This happened in Feb '08. Last year "the other side's" matriarch said she would extended a "full pardon" to us if we apologised for the hurt caused to the poor lass when we "showed her the door like a dog". I would rather eat my own arm.
Please learn from our mistakes. Set all the rules down on paper before they even get on the plane to you. Be very businesslike about it. Let them agree and sign the document. Rather too safe than sorry.
We had a cousins daughter (26yr) come stay with us in London, who I last saw as a child. I remember saying "she can stay with us till she gets on her own feet", how wrong was I. She stayed with us for 2 months, did not contribute at all, lived on the couch watching TV, complained about everything including (her own) hair on the bathroom floor. We bent over backwards trying to organize work for her (was beneath her), dragged her along to all our social events and really went out of our way to include her and make her succeed in her move to London. Then one day I sat down in front of the PC, and discovered she had left a sent email open in full view. It was a email in which she completely slagged my husband and I, very hurtful, untrue things said. What really came as a slap to the face was that up to that minute we thought she liked us, seems she was just playing us to get free room and board. Well, my husband gave her 24h to pack up and leave, she was back on a plane to Mummy in less. End of the story, huge family split and even elderly relatives now dont speak to each other after taking opposing sides. Especially since we now live in Aus I dont give a monkeys about them, but my poor mum gets the whole force of the "scandal". This happened in Feb '08. Last year "the other side's" matriarch said she would extended a "full pardon" to us if we apologised for the hurt caused to the poor lass when we "showed her the door like a dog". I would rather eat my own arm.
Please learn from our mistakes. Set all the rules down on paper before they even get on the plane to you. Be very businesslike about it. Let them agree and sign the document. Rather too safe than sorry.
Good for you, you totally took the right decisions, after all it is YOUR house.
