Two Years To-day!
Nov 10th 2013, 5:22 pm
#1
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2006
Location: Now Devon
Posts: 951
Two Years To-day!
I am still alive after two years back to-day, but I still feel unsettled, and am constantly questioning if my decision to return was as good as when I put my house up for sale in South Australia.
In fact I feel more at home in Germany than I do in England.
This afternoon I walked to the harbour and along the seafront, and stopped at the Remembrance Memorial where many wreaths and messages had been placed. I was in tears for the deaths of so many many people in so many countries over so many years, and I remembered my own terror during the War, and how as a child I feared and hated the Germans. Now they are my friends.
Life has changed a lot since the days when hundreds of thousands of people including me left Britain and Europe and travelled to far flung lands, but nothing stays the same as many of us have found. My grandmother who was in Brussels during the German occupation returned to England, but our way of life was not to her liking, and she returned to Brussels for the rest of her life.
I am finding this myself with England, it has become too preoccupied with its glorious industrial and economic past, and has allowed other countries to sweep past and gather up our industries. Our once proud nation is run down and tired, traffic clogs the narrow streets, roads are bad, and buildings are left in disrepair desperately in need of TLC. Town centres are dying, allowing enclaves of charity shops or empty buildings to take over where prosperity once ruled.
My Australian Permanent Resident visa now allows me one more year to return there to live, but with a flat to sell and more things happening for me in Britain and Germany than in South Australia, I have no idea what to do. However I am lonely and unhappy here, the wet climate additionally causing me considerable health problems. I've not found the NHS as good as the public health system in Adelaide, struggling to see specialists, and paying for treatment.
The cost of living is otherwise lower here, supermarkets, power companies, telephone and broadband much lower than I anticipated, but having to pay a high service fee for my flat (which wasn't high when I bought the flat), I am now drawing on savings more than I expected. In Australia the interest on savings paid for my power and council rates etc, and gave me overseas holidays!
In 18 days I will be in Germany again, and then travel to Leamington Spa for Christmas with my brother, so perhaps this will brighten my spirits, but time will tell. It would be nice if they visited me, Torquay is not half a world away as they seem to think.
In fact I feel more at home in Germany than I do in England.
This afternoon I walked to the harbour and along the seafront, and stopped at the Remembrance Memorial where many wreaths and messages had been placed. I was in tears for the deaths of so many many people in so many countries over so many years, and I remembered my own terror during the War, and how as a child I feared and hated the Germans. Now they are my friends.
Life has changed a lot since the days when hundreds of thousands of people including me left Britain and Europe and travelled to far flung lands, but nothing stays the same as many of us have found. My grandmother who was in Brussels during the German occupation returned to England, but our way of life was not to her liking, and she returned to Brussels for the rest of her life.
I am finding this myself with England, it has become too preoccupied with its glorious industrial and economic past, and has allowed other countries to sweep past and gather up our industries. Our once proud nation is run down and tired, traffic clogs the narrow streets, roads are bad, and buildings are left in disrepair desperately in need of TLC. Town centres are dying, allowing enclaves of charity shops or empty buildings to take over where prosperity once ruled.
My Australian Permanent Resident visa now allows me one more year to return there to live, but with a flat to sell and more things happening for me in Britain and Germany than in South Australia, I have no idea what to do. However I am lonely and unhappy here, the wet climate additionally causing me considerable health problems. I've not found the NHS as good as the public health system in Adelaide, struggling to see specialists, and paying for treatment.
The cost of living is otherwise lower here, supermarkets, power companies, telephone and broadband much lower than I anticipated, but having to pay a high service fee for my flat (which wasn't high when I bought the flat), I am now drawing on savings more than I expected. In Australia the interest on savings paid for my power and council rates etc, and gave me overseas holidays!
In 18 days I will be in Germany again, and then travel to Leamington Spa for Christmas with my brother, so perhaps this will brighten my spirits, but time will tell. It would be nice if they visited me, Torquay is not half a world away as they seem to think.
Nov 11th 2013, 12:33 am
#2
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,477
Re: Two Years To-day!
It's good to hear your update Aries. You have to do what is best for you..Good luck wherever you decide to live..
Nov 11th 2013, 1:27 am
#3
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2010
Location: North East Ohio, USA
Posts: 1,931
Re: Two Years To-day!
Aries - so sorry that things haven't turned out for you as planned and that you still feel unsettled. You were gone from the UK a long time, so it will take time for you to feel that you belong there. I know what you mean about the service fees for apartments - it is annoying when they start out low and then go up - I bought a condo here 8 years ago and the fees go up every year - it is annoying and makes it harder to budget. All the best to you - wherever you decide to live.
Nov 11th 2013, 9:01 am
#4
Forum Regular
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 33
Re: Two Years To-day!
I am still alive after two years back to-day, but I still feel unsettled, and am constantly questioning if my decision to return was as good as when I put my house up for sale in South Australia.
In fact I feel more at home in Germany than I do in England.
This afternoon I walked to the harbour and along the seafront, and stopped at the Remembrance Memorial where many wreaths and messages had been placed. I was in tears for the deaths of so many many people in so many countries over so many years, and I remembered my own terror during the War, and how as a child I feared and hated the Germans. Now they are my friends.
Life has changed a lot since the days when hundreds of thousands of people including me left Britain and Europe and travelled to far flung lands, but nothing stays the same as many of us have found. My grandmother who was in Brussels during the German occupation returned to England, but our way of life was not to her liking, and she returned to Brussels for the rest of her life.
I am finding this myself with England, it has become too preoccupied with its glorious industrial and economic past, and has allowed other countries to sweep past and gather up our industries. Our once proud nation is run down and tired, traffic clogs the narrow streets, roads are bad, and buildings are left in disrepair desperately in need of TLC. Town centres are dying, allowing enclaves of charity shops or empty buildings to take over where prosperity once ruled.
My Australian Permanent Resident visa now allows me one more year to return there to live, but with a flat to sell and more things happening for me in Britain and Germany than in South Australia, I have no idea what to do. However I am lonely and unhappy here, the wet climate additionally causing me considerable health problems. I've not found the NHS as good as the public health system in Adelaide, struggling to see specialists, and paying for treatment.
The cost of living is otherwise lower here, supermarkets, power companies, telephone and broadband much lower than I anticipated, but having to pay a high service fee for my flat (which wasn't high when I bought the flat), I am now drawing on savings more than I expected. In Australia the interest on savings paid for my power and council rates etc, and gave me overseas holidays!
In 18 days I will be in Germany again, and then travel to Leamington Spa for Christmas with my brother, so perhaps this will brighten my spirits, but time will tell. It would be nice if they visited me, Torquay is not half a world away as they seem to think.
In fact I feel more at home in Germany than I do in England.
This afternoon I walked to the harbour and along the seafront, and stopped at the Remembrance Memorial where many wreaths and messages had been placed. I was in tears for the deaths of so many many people in so many countries over so many years, and I remembered my own terror during the War, and how as a child I feared and hated the Germans. Now they are my friends.
Life has changed a lot since the days when hundreds of thousands of people including me left Britain and Europe and travelled to far flung lands, but nothing stays the same as many of us have found. My grandmother who was in Brussels during the German occupation returned to England, but our way of life was not to her liking, and she returned to Brussels for the rest of her life.
I am finding this myself with England, it has become too preoccupied with its glorious industrial and economic past, and has allowed other countries to sweep past and gather up our industries. Our once proud nation is run down and tired, traffic clogs the narrow streets, roads are bad, and buildings are left in disrepair desperately in need of TLC. Town centres are dying, allowing enclaves of charity shops or empty buildings to take over where prosperity once ruled.
My Australian Permanent Resident visa now allows me one more year to return there to live, but with a flat to sell and more things happening for me in Britain and Germany than in South Australia, I have no idea what to do. However I am lonely and unhappy here, the wet climate additionally causing me considerable health problems. I've not found the NHS as good as the public health system in Adelaide, struggling to see specialists, and paying for treatment.
The cost of living is otherwise lower here, supermarkets, power companies, telephone and broadband much lower than I anticipated, but having to pay a high service fee for my flat (which wasn't high when I bought the flat), I am now drawing on savings more than I expected. In Australia the interest on savings paid for my power and council rates etc, and gave me overseas holidays!
In 18 days I will be in Germany again, and then travel to Leamington Spa for Christmas with my brother, so perhaps this will brighten my spirits, but time will tell. It would be nice if they visited me, Torquay is not half a world away as they seem to think.
My love of the countryside and the history of this beautful country keeps me here. Not much else to be honest. Hope things work out for you Aries. Heading into winter doesn't help does it.
Nov 11th 2013, 12:39 pm
#5
Ping-ponger
Joined: Jul 2002
Location: Dreich Alba
Posts: 12,004
Re: Two Years To-day!
I am still alive after two years back to-day, but I still feel unsettled, and am constantly questioning if my decision to return was as good as when I put my house up for sale in South Australia.
In fact I feel more at home in Germany than I do in England.
This afternoon I walked to the harbour and along the seafront, and stopped at the Remembrance Memorial where many wreaths and messages had been placed. I was in tears for the deaths of so many many people in so many countries over so many years, and I remembered my own terror during the War, and how as a child I feared and hated the Germans. Now they are my friends.
Life has changed a lot since the days when hundreds of thousands of people including me left Britain and Europe and travelled to far flung lands, but nothing stays the same as many of us have found. My grandmother who was in Brussels during the German occupation returned to England, but our way of life was not to her liking, and she returned to Brussels for the rest of her life.
I am finding this myself with England, it has become too preoccupied with its glorious industrial and economic past, and has allowed other countries to sweep past and gather up our industries. Our once proud nation is run down and tired, traffic clogs the narrow streets, roads are bad, and buildings are left in disrepair desperately in need of TLC. Town centres are dying, allowing enclaves of charity shops or empty buildings to take over where prosperity once ruled.
My Australian Permanent Resident visa now allows me one more year to return there to live, but with a flat to sell and more things happening for me in Britain and Germany than in South Australia, I have no idea what to do. However I am lonely and unhappy here, the wet climate additionally causing me considerable health problems. I've not found the NHS as good as the public health system in Adelaide, struggling to see specialists, and paying for treatment.
The cost of living is otherwise lower here, supermarkets, power companies, telephone and broadband much lower than I anticipated, but having to pay a high service fee for my flat (which wasn't high when I bought the flat), I am now drawing on savings more than I expected. In Australia the interest on savings paid for my power and council rates etc, and gave me overseas holidays!
In 18 days I will be in Germany again, and then travel to Leamington Spa for Christmas with my brother, so perhaps this will brighten my spirits, but time will tell. It would be nice if they visited me, Torquay is not half a world away as they seem to think.
In fact I feel more at home in Germany than I do in England.
This afternoon I walked to the harbour and along the seafront, and stopped at the Remembrance Memorial where many wreaths and messages had been placed. I was in tears for the deaths of so many many people in so many countries over so many years, and I remembered my own terror during the War, and how as a child I feared and hated the Germans. Now they are my friends.
Life has changed a lot since the days when hundreds of thousands of people including me left Britain and Europe and travelled to far flung lands, but nothing stays the same as many of us have found. My grandmother who was in Brussels during the German occupation returned to England, but our way of life was not to her liking, and she returned to Brussels for the rest of her life.
I am finding this myself with England, it has become too preoccupied with its glorious industrial and economic past, and has allowed other countries to sweep past and gather up our industries. Our once proud nation is run down and tired, traffic clogs the narrow streets, roads are bad, and buildings are left in disrepair desperately in need of TLC. Town centres are dying, allowing enclaves of charity shops or empty buildings to take over where prosperity once ruled.
My Australian Permanent Resident visa now allows me one more year to return there to live, but with a flat to sell and more things happening for me in Britain and Germany than in South Australia, I have no idea what to do. However I am lonely and unhappy here, the wet climate additionally causing me considerable health problems. I've not found the NHS as good as the public health system in Adelaide, struggling to see specialists, and paying for treatment.
The cost of living is otherwise lower here, supermarkets, power companies, telephone and broadband much lower than I anticipated, but having to pay a high service fee for my flat (which wasn't high when I bought the flat), I am now drawing on savings more than I expected. In Australia the interest on savings paid for my power and council rates etc, and gave me overseas holidays!
In 18 days I will be in Germany again, and then travel to Leamington Spa for Christmas with my brother, so perhaps this will brighten my spirits, but time will tell. It would be nice if they visited me, Torquay is not half a world away as they seem to think.
I think SallySimmons commented on how important it is to really work hard at re-establishing relationships, but I can relate to your frustration that people don't visit you even though they are effectively just down the road. I have done a lot more visiting than "being visited" since I came back and it can get a bit tiresome after a while, having to make all the effort.
I think it is also difficult sometimes to come onto this part of the site with bad news because there is a sense from some quarters that negative news is letting the side down - but it's more important for people to hear the truth, warts and all. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not being positive enough. If we deny our problems we simply perpetuate them.
Good luck.
Nov 11th 2013, 1:12 pm
#6
Account Closed
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 66
Re: Two Years To-day!
I am still alive after two years back to-day, but I still feel unsettled, and am constantly questioning if my decision to return was as good as when I put my house up for sale in South Australia.
In fact I feel more at home in Germany than I do in England.
This afternoon I walked to the harbour and along the seafront, and stopped at the Remembrance Memorial where many wreaths and messages had been placed. I was in tears for the deaths of so many many people in so many countries over so many years, and I remembered my own terror during the War, and how as a child I feared and hated the Germans. Now they are my friends.
Life has changed a lot since the days when hundreds of thousands of people including me left Britain and Europe and travelled to far flung lands, but nothing stays the same as many of us have found. My grandmother who was in Brussels during the German occupation returned to England, but our way of life was not to her liking, and she returned to Brussels for the rest of her life.
I am finding this myself with England, it has become too preoccupied with its glorious industrial and economic past, and has allowed other countries to sweep past and gather up our industries. Our once proud nation is run down and tired, traffic clogs the narrow streets, roads are bad, and buildings are left in disrepair desperately in need of TLC. Town centres are dying, allowing enclaves of charity shops or empty buildings to take over where prosperity once ruled.
My Australian Permanent Resident visa now allows me one more year to return there to live, but with a flat to sell and more things happening for me in Britain and Germany than in South Australia, I have no idea what to do. However I am lonely and unhappy here, the wet climate additionally causing me considerable health problems. I've not found the NHS as good as the public health system in Adelaide, struggling to see specialists, and paying for treatment.
The cost of living is otherwise lower here, supermarkets, power companies, telephone and broadband much lower than I anticipated, but having to pay a high service fee for my flat (which wasn't high when I bought the flat), I am now drawing on savings more than I expected. In Australia the interest on savings paid for my power and council rates etc, and gave me overseas holidays!
In 18 days I will be in Germany again, and then travel to Leamington Spa for Christmas with my brother, so perhaps this will brighten my spirits, but time will tell. It would be nice if they visited me, Torquay is not half a world away as they seem to think.
In fact I feel more at home in Germany than I do in England.
This afternoon I walked to the harbour and along the seafront, and stopped at the Remembrance Memorial where many wreaths and messages had been placed. I was in tears for the deaths of so many many people in so many countries over so many years, and I remembered my own terror during the War, and how as a child I feared and hated the Germans. Now they are my friends.
Life has changed a lot since the days when hundreds of thousands of people including me left Britain and Europe and travelled to far flung lands, but nothing stays the same as many of us have found. My grandmother who was in Brussels during the German occupation returned to England, but our way of life was not to her liking, and she returned to Brussels for the rest of her life.
I am finding this myself with England, it has become too preoccupied with its glorious industrial and economic past, and has allowed other countries to sweep past and gather up our industries. Our once proud nation is run down and tired, traffic clogs the narrow streets, roads are bad, and buildings are left in disrepair desperately in need of TLC. Town centres are dying, allowing enclaves of charity shops or empty buildings to take over where prosperity once ruled.
My Australian Permanent Resident visa now allows me one more year to return there to live, but with a flat to sell and more things happening for me in Britain and Germany than in South Australia, I have no idea what to do. However I am lonely and unhappy here, the wet climate additionally causing me considerable health problems. I've not found the NHS as good as the public health system in Adelaide, struggling to see specialists, and paying for treatment.
The cost of living is otherwise lower here, supermarkets, power companies, telephone and broadband much lower than I anticipated, but having to pay a high service fee for my flat (which wasn't high when I bought the flat), I am now drawing on savings more than I expected. In Australia the interest on savings paid for my power and council rates etc, and gave me overseas holidays!
In 18 days I will be in Germany again, and then travel to Leamington Spa for Christmas with my brother, so perhaps this will brighten my spirits, but time will tell. It would be nice if they visited me, Torquay is not half a world away as they seem to think.
Nov 11th 2013, 2:27 pm
#7
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2006
Location: Now Devon
Posts: 951
Re: Two Years To-day!
Thank you all for your supporting posts, it is difficult to write on British Expats and know that many members want returnees to be positive and give stunning comments about our new lives back in the UK. Unfortunately it isn't possible when we are all different and have varying experiences.
When my health has allowed I've managed to fit in boat trips across the bay to Brixham and around the coast to Dartmouth, so living by the seaside has been extremely refreshing. I also chat a lot with anyone I meet, tourists in particular being interesting and friendly, many from other countries. By Christmas I will have travelled on 42 trains and 6 planes since March visiting family and friends, so I haven't been a slouch to maintain relationships.
I also joined a table tennis club having played at a high level in Australia for most of my time there (and in London in the 1970s), but of course ill health since coming back to Devon has curbed my stamina and participation. Nice though to know that younger people look at me with astonishment when the ball flashes past them!
I do of course remember some of the reasons I left Australia. The hot summers were debilitating, I wanted to have a complete change of scenery and culture, and also be able to easily visit family and friends in England and Germany. I stayed for 6 months last year with my sister in Lincolnshire, but
in June this year she died from cancer, and it is still causing me considerable distress.
Nowhere is perfect, we need to cope as best we can wherever we go, but tears every day are not a good sign.
When my health has allowed I've managed to fit in boat trips across the bay to Brixham and around the coast to Dartmouth, so living by the seaside has been extremely refreshing. I also chat a lot with anyone I meet, tourists in particular being interesting and friendly, many from other countries. By Christmas I will have travelled on 42 trains and 6 planes since March visiting family and friends, so I haven't been a slouch to maintain relationships.
I also joined a table tennis club having played at a high level in Australia for most of my time there (and in London in the 1970s), but of course ill health since coming back to Devon has curbed my stamina and participation. Nice though to know that younger people look at me with astonishment when the ball flashes past them!
I do of course remember some of the reasons I left Australia. The hot summers were debilitating, I wanted to have a complete change of scenery and culture, and also be able to easily visit family and friends in England and Germany. I stayed for 6 months last year with my sister in Lincolnshire, but
in June this year she died from cancer, and it is still causing me considerable distress.
Nowhere is perfect, we need to cope as best we can wherever we go, but tears every day are not a good sign.
Nov 11th 2013, 3:13 pm
#8
Account Closed
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 66
Re: Two Years To-day!
Thank you all for your supporting posts, it is difficult to write on British Expats and know that many members want returnees to be positive and give stunning comments about our new lives back in the UK. Unfortunately it isn't possible when we are all different and have varying experiences.
When my health has allowed I've managed to fit in boat trips across the bay to Brixham and around the coast to Dartmouth, so living by the seaside has been extremely refreshing. I also chat a lot with anyone I meet, tourists in particular being interesting and friendly, many from other countries. By Christmas I will have travelled on 42 trains and 6 planes since March visiting family and friends, so I haven't been a slouch to maintain relationships.
I also joined a table tennis club having played at a high level in Australia for most of my time there (and in London in the 1970s), but of course ill health since coming back to Devon has curbed my stamina and participation. Nice though to know that younger people look at me with astonishment when the ball flashes past them!
I do of course remember some of the reasons I left Australia. The hot summers were debilitating, I wanted to have a complete change of scenery and culture, and also be able to easily visit family and friends in England and Germany. I stayed for 6 months last year with my sister in Lincolnshire, but
in June this year she died from cancer, and it is still causing me considerable distress.
Nowhere is perfect, we need to cope as best we can wherever we go, but tears every day are not a good sign.
When my health has allowed I've managed to fit in boat trips across the bay to Brixham and around the coast to Dartmouth, so living by the seaside has been extremely refreshing. I also chat a lot with anyone I meet, tourists in particular being interesting and friendly, many from other countries. By Christmas I will have travelled on 42 trains and 6 planes since March visiting family and friends, so I haven't been a slouch to maintain relationships.
I also joined a table tennis club having played at a high level in Australia for most of my time there (and in London in the 1970s), but of course ill health since coming back to Devon has curbed my stamina and participation. Nice though to know that younger people look at me with astonishment when the ball flashes past them!
I do of course remember some of the reasons I left Australia. The hot summers were debilitating, I wanted to have a complete change of scenery and culture, and also be able to easily visit family and friends in England and Germany. I stayed for 6 months last year with my sister in Lincolnshire, but
in June this year she died from cancer, and it is still causing me considerable distress.
Nowhere is perfect, we need to cope as best we can wherever we go, but tears every day are not a good sign.
All I can say is try to take one day at a time, let the tears flow when they must, and slowly you will be able to see things clearly and know what path you should take.
Sending hugs and best wishes.
Nov 11th 2013, 4:30 pm
#9
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Canberra
Posts: 8,378
Re: Two Years To-day!
I can imagine that with so many negatives landing on your doorstep it would certainly colour your experiences, and moving on your own would, I imagine make the transition even harder!
Even I have down days with two increasingly frail parents to support with consequent loss of freedom and on those down days it is so easy to look back and compare it with the life we left even though at the time I loathed the life I was leading, being trapped in a place I had come to hate. On days when things are going well I barely think of Australia at all because (and I know I am blessed) life here for me is just so much richer, services are excellent, friendships have been great. I can imagine that when things haven't fallen so neatly into place the doubts and questions of belonging raise their ugly heads more often!
I do hope you can find the solution that works for you!
Even I have down days with two increasingly frail parents to support with consequent loss of freedom and on those down days it is so easy to look back and compare it with the life we left even though at the time I loathed the life I was leading, being trapped in a place I had come to hate. On days when things are going well I barely think of Australia at all because (and I know I am blessed) life here for me is just so much richer, services are excellent, friendships have been great. I can imagine that when things haven't fallen so neatly into place the doubts and questions of belonging raise their ugly heads more often!
I do hope you can find the solution that works for you!
Nov 11th 2013, 4:53 pm
#10
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 1,477
Re: Two Years To-day!
Aries just saw you wrote about your sister passing away. My deepest condolences. You may know my brother died in January this year of cancer. He was the person I was closest to in this world and I still grieve deeply. Be kind to yourself and I for one like to hear both sides of people returning to UK - the good and the bad. It is something I am considering but will know more next year when I come back for long vacation. I fear though that I've been in US 30 years and feel my journey in US is not yet complete. Take care.
Nov 11th 2013, 5:09 pm
#11
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2006
Location: Now Devon
Posts: 951
Re: Two Years To-day!
I can imagine that with so many negatives landing on your doorstep it would certainly colour your experiences, and moving on your own would, I imagine make the transition even harder!
Even I have down days with two increasingly frail parents to support with consequent loss of freedom and on those down days it is so easy to look back and compare it with the life we left even though at the time I loathed the life I was leading, being trapped in a place I had come to hate. On days when things are going well I barely think of Australia at all because (and I know I am blessed) life here for me is just so much richer, services are excellent, friendships have been great. I can imagine that when things haven't fallen so neatly into place the doubts and questions of belonging raise their ugly heads more often!
I do hope you can find the solution that works for you!
Even I have down days with two increasingly frail parents to support with consequent loss of freedom and on those down days it is so easy to look back and compare it with the life we left even though at the time I loathed the life I was leading, being trapped in a place I had come to hate. On days when things are going well I barely think of Australia at all because (and I know I am blessed) life here for me is just so much richer, services are excellent, friendships have been great. I can imagine that when things haven't fallen so neatly into place the doubts and questions of belonging raise their ugly heads more often!
I do hope you can find the solution that works for you!
I gave up my life in Melbourne to return to Adelaide and care for my mum. She suffered through bowel and breast cancers, heart attacks, and finally Alzheimers, the latter being the most difficult for me to handle. I had so little time to myself I thought I would go crazy.
I had two sisters nearby who did nothing to help, so I had to find a strength and patience I didn't know I had. I am sure your parents appreciate the care you give them, and at least it keeps them out of a nursing home, and you have friends to keep you sane.
Nov 11th 2013, 6:06 pm
#12
Looking for my marbles.
Joined: Jul 2013
Location: durham, durham, England
Posts: 730
Re: Two Years To-day!
I agree with dun roving about how hard it is sometimes to say it how it is for you when you move back. People need to know the good and the bad. Your post is honest and that is what this forum needs more of. 
Sorry things have been so hard for you lately. And like someone else said, be kind to youself and give it time. Xx
Sorry things have been so hard for you lately. And like someone else said, be kind to youself and give it time. Xx
Nov 11th 2013, 6:26 pm
#13
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Aug 2013
Location: Clarksville, TN
Posts: 392
Re: Two Years To-day!
This made me reflect on my nearly 30 yrs in the US. My mum has been over twice, one of my two sisters once, and my dad has never made it over. On the other hand, I fly home at least twice a year (sometimes more) and spend all of my holiday running from place to place to see everyone. I seriously doubt anything would change if I moved back. Probably something I need to consider.
Nov 12th 2013, 5:48 am
#14
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Sep 2003
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 716
Re: Two Years To-day!
I'm sorry things aren't quite working out the way you expected. Particularly after being away so long it is not surprising things haven't fit into place. Only you know what is the best for you in the long run, but I'd say try not to let it get you down - it is "normal" to find life difficult after such a huge change. I am now about seven and a half years back (July 2006) and I distinctly remember the challenges in those first few years. Everyone is different. Some people slide straight back into the groove, either through pure good fortune or by dint of hard work and a can-do attitude. But those who encounter difficulties aren't lacking in attitude, they are just experiencing the realities of life.
I think SallySimmons commented on how important it is to really work hard at re-establishing relationships, but I can relate to your frustration that people don't visit you even though they are effectively just down the road. I have done a lot more visiting than "being visited" since I came back and it can get a bit tiresome after a while, having to make all the effort.
I think it is also difficult sometimes to come onto this part of the site with bad news because there is a sense from some quarters that negative news is letting the side down - but it's more important for people to hear the truth, warts and all. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not being positive enough. If we deny our problems we simply perpetuate them.
Good luck.
I think SallySimmons commented on how important it is to really work hard at re-establishing relationships, but I can relate to your frustration that people don't visit you even though they are effectively just down the road. I have done a lot more visiting than "being visited" since I came back and it can get a bit tiresome after a while, having to make all the effort.
I think it is also difficult sometimes to come onto this part of the site with bad news because there is a sense from some quarters that negative news is letting the side down - but it's more important for people to hear the truth, warts and all. Don't let anyone tell you that you're not being positive enough. If we deny our problems we simply perpetuate them.
Good luck.
Nov 12th 2013, 6:19 am
#15
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Canberra
Posts: 8,378
Re: Two Years To-day!
This made me reflect on my nearly 30 yrs in the US. My mum has been over twice, one of my two sisters once, and my dad has never made it over. On the other hand, I fly home at least twice a year (sometimes more) and spend all of my holiday running from place to place to see everyone. I seriously doubt anything would change if I moved back. Probably something I need to consider.
