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Old Jul 5th 2016, 3:28 pm   #16
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Default Re: Two years

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Um....no....
Lighthearted references to elders selling the farm, kicking the bucket etc. are legitimate and do not indicate that we hope they do so in a timely fashion.

I remember going out to dinner with my MIL when she was in her 50s. A no-nonsense New Yorker, she would refer to a decrepit old person drooling at another table; "If I ever get like that, take me out to the barn and shoot me."

Fast forward forty years, she lived in a retirement community in the small town where we live .... in an old house with a barn. We'd often joke with her, did she want to go visit the barn with us...
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Old Jul 5th 2016, 4:14 pm   #17
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Default Re: Two years

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Lighthearted references to elders selling the farm, kicking the bucket etc. are legitimate and do not indicate that we hope they do so in a timely fashion.

I remember going out to dinner with my MIL when she was in her 50s. A no-nonsense New Yorker, she would refer to a decrepit old person drooling at another table; "If I ever get like that, take me out to the barn and shoot me."

Fast forward forty years, she lived in a retirement community in the small town where we live .... in an old house with a barn. We'd often joke with her, did she want to go visit the barn with us...
Quite. Back when I was a teenager my favourite line from The Who's "My Generation" was "I h-hope I d-d-die before I get old".

I'm not so k-k-keen on it now.
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Old Jul 5th 2016, 4:16 pm   #18
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Default Re: Two years

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Lighthearted references to elders selling the farm, kicking the bucket etc. are legitimate and do not indicate that we hope they do so in a timely fashion.

I remember going out to dinner with my MIL when she was in her 50s. A no-nonsense New Yorker, she would refer to a decrepit old person drooling at another table; "If I ever get like that, take me out to the barn and shoot me."

Fast forward forty years, she lived in a retirement community in the small town where we live .... in an old house with a barn. We'd often joke with her, did she want to go visit the barn with us...
I'm not referring to the "cute" way of referring to dying when I say it's disturbing. I'm referring to the fact that twice it's mentioned that as soon as her mother dies she's free to move - whooppeee! Seems like she can hardly wait. That's how it comes across to me.
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Old Jul 5th 2016, 4:38 pm   #19
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Default Re: Two years

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I'm not referring to the "cute" way of referring to dying when I say it's disturbing. I'm referring to the fact that twice it's mentioned that as soon as her mother dies she's free to move - whooppeee! Seems like she can hardly wait. That's how it comes across to me.
She does have a dry and sardonic sense of humour. And, from my own experience, caring for an elderly, dependent relative can be very rewarding (after all, many of us wished we'd spent more time with the ageing parent, when we were abroad/ working all hours/ bringing up kids..) But, double edged sword, it does tie us down as well....
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Old Jul 5th 2016, 4:57 pm   #20
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She does have a dry and sardonic sense of humour.
So glad you noticed.

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Old Jul 5th 2016, 5:04 pm   #21
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Default Re: Two years

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So glad you noticed.

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Old Jul 5th 2016, 6:29 pm   #22
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Default Re: Two years

OH will be entitled to Scottish citizenship because his grand-father was a Glaswegian, and hopefully I can apply as his spouse. It pisses me off that all my close friends will be entitled to EU passports except me, due to the oversight of my ancestors in never marrying anyone who wasn't English. Obviously, we'll have to wait until mum falls off the twig.

So, if mum hops the twig within the next two years, then we promptly move to Perth, I could have my EU passport back before I reach 70!


That's humor? Okay....
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Old Jul 5th 2016, 6:39 pm   #23
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Default Re: Two years

There are some differences between American and UK culture, Gabby. Humour is one of them.
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Old Jul 5th 2016, 6:54 pm   #24
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There are some differences between American and UK culture, Gabby. Humour is one of them.
Editha,

I am very familiar with British, Irish and American humor in all their various forms, and I'm sorry to say, but humorous terms notwithstanding, there is a definite underlying implication that you're waiting for the inevitable so you can get on with your plans.

I'll say nothing more about it. It just jumped out at me and made me feel sad honestly.
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Old Jul 5th 2016, 6:58 pm   #25
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Default Re: Two years

That is pathetic. Honestly.
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Old Jul 5th 2016, 7:10 pm   #26
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That is pathetic. Honestly.
I'm glad you're admitting it now.
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Old Jul 5th 2016, 8:29 pm   #27
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Default Re: Two years

I'm not a sententious hypocrite, unlike some, and I'm proud of it.

It was beyond your ability to grasp, apparently,but my entire riff about moving to Scotland was ironic, as I explicitly state in one of my posts.

But, in actual fact, if my 90 year old mum died in her sleep tonight, I'd be delighted that she died happy, feeling loved, and still reasonably sane.

She has a degenerative brain disease called Alzheimer's. At the moment the disease only manifests itself in odd lapses of memory, such as forgetting how to put the phone back in its cradle, or looking for her mother's jewellery that she sold 30 years ago. But, if she goes on living long enough, she is likely to have worse symptoms, such as storing her shit in the fridge, failing to recognise her own children, and eventually losing the power of speech. I would rather not see her go through all that, and eventually have to watch her being restrained and dragged off screaming and swearing because her behaviour has become a risk to herself and others.

So, yes, if she 'hopped the twig' in the next year or two, I'd not be regretting that she didn't make it to her century.

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Old Jul 5th 2016, 8:45 pm   #28
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At least I'm not a sententious prat.


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Old Jul 5th 2016, 8:48 pm   #29
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Default Re: Two years

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OH will be entitled to Scottish citizenship because his grand-father was a Glaswegian, and hopefully I can apply as his spouse. It pisses me off that all my close friends will be entitled to EU passports except me, due to the oversight of my ancestors in never marrying anyone who wasn't English. Obviously, we'll have to wait until mum falls off the twig.

So, if mum hops the twig within the next two years, then we promptly move to Perth, I could have my EU passport back before I reach 70!


That's humor? Okay....
Yes, It's humour. Sorry but you are wrong.
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Old Jul 5th 2016, 8:54 pm   #30
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Default Re: Two years

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I'm not a sententious hypocrite, unlike some, and I'm proud of it.

It was beyond your ability to grasp, apparently,but my entire riff about moving to Scotland was ironic, as I explicitly state in one of my posts.

But, in actual fact, if my 90 year old mum died in her sleep tonight, I'd be delighted that she died happy, feeling loved, and still reasonably sane.

She has a degenerative brain disease called Alzheimer's. At the moment the disease only manifests itself in odd lapses of memory, such as forgetting how to put the phone back in its cradle, or looking for her mother's jewellery that she sold 30 years ago. But, if she goes on living long enough, she is likely to have worse symptoms, such as storing her own shit in the fridge, failing to recognise her own children, and eventually losing the power of speech. I would rather not see her go through all that, and eventually have to watch her being restrained and dragged off screaming and swearing because her behaviour has become a risk to herself and others.

So, yes, if she 'hopped the twig' in the next year or two, I'd not be regretting that she didn't make it to her century.
Whatever you say....I know all about taking care of a parent with dementia, so you don't need to tell me all that.

I didn't get at all that the posts you made about moving to Scotland were just a joke. Frankly, it all sounded quite sincere. But if you say you were essentially kidding around, ok then I apologize for completely misconstruing everything you said, including the part about being able to move to Scotland if your mother dies before you turn 70.

Perhaps I'm just dense as well as sententious, (thanks for the new word...I did have to look it up, don't think it really applies..I'll have to think about it) but if there is one thing I am not, it's a hypocrite.
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