Lorry1

Hi all,

I do not come on here much but I do try to read others posts and respond where I can and keep up to date with how all the regulars are doing

I have been home 1 year on Sunday so wanted to write an update to let those of you who are interested know how I'm doing.

Well....I love it! The end!

To add to this... To those who don't know my story, we (2 adults, 1 grown up kid of 18 and 1 little kid of 10) returned home last year after 6 very long years in Nova Scotia, Canada. I had been homesick from year 1 but due to kids going through school and finances, we had to stay for a further 5 years. Also, hubby did not want to return at all but due to my very bad depression, knew it would be best if we did. So we did.

I have no regrets at all, I am happier than I have been in years, even though I do suffer with depression, a lot has been lifted.
Don't get me wrong, it has been a tough year! Eldest daughter did not want to return but had nowhere really to stay so begrudgingly came back with us, even though her dad was back here and all the extended family on his side, she had gone through her teenage years in Canada and thats where her life was. So, the first few months was filled with hatred from and fighting with said daughter and it was just awful times.
Her friends from before the move kept letting her down and she struggled to retain friendship with a couple of them, even though they had stayed in touch and she had stayed with them on visits home, it just didn't work out.

She then found a job and formed friendships with work colleagues. They would go to the pub, clubbing, to the cinema, stay at each others homes, etc...she now has a lovely boyfriend and is very happy.
She has booked herself a flight back to Canada in September staying for 3 weeks. She just wants to see her friends really, but with most of her friends there at college, pregnant or have babies already, I think she will find it totally different to when she left!

My youngest has struggled too. She is behind the UK school system and as such the school and I decided she wouldn't sit her SATS as it would set her up for failure. She has a private maths tutor which we pay for.
She has not made many friends and has suffered some bullying. She misses her Canadian friends deeply.
But, she is excited about secondary school as most of the kids she is in class with now are not going to her school so she has a chance to start over and the school offers fab extra help so hopefully she will get a chance to catch up.

My husband is now settled. He has a fab job in London and apart from the awful commute, he totally loves it. This is due to much networking and job hunting while still in Canada. He made many contacts and this really paid off for us coming home. We are financially better off than we ever have been and can actually enjoy weekends away and dinners out without stressing too much.

I am starting to work self employed selling luxury cruises, which is what I did in Canada, and am just waiting to be set up in my home office.

I think the best advice I can give is....you have want to come home. I mean REALLY WANT IT!
Lovely Nostalgic thoughts about times past does not cut it. You have to want the lifestyle, the culture, all the good and all the bad about England. I wanted all this.
I did not return for family as I only speak with my brother who now has a wife, a kid and kid on the way so this is exciting for me.
As far as friendships go...you cannot expect all friendships to be the same as before. Some will welcome you back with open arms, but you may have to work on some. I was very lucky in that my friends did accept me back and I also made contact with a couple of older friends who I had not seen for a few years but I now see on a regular basis. So it's all good.

On top of that, you have to really want to leave where you emigrated to...I was so bored in Nova Scotia. We had done all the tourist stuff and days out to places with the kids and had run out. We would either have to drive for miles and miles to get somewhere new or pay a fortune for a flight. Travelling in north america is not easy or cheap. I was bored with the shopping, the lack of choice in supermarkets...just did not want to be there at all.I wanted to be in England.

Now, with the variety on our doorstep and Europe just across the water, we can never be bored. I am loving the food, still! and I am loving the clothes shopping. We are renting a house in a lovely area which is still very much a market town and our neighbours are fab and have a street BBQ each summer and a few of us mums have a day out each term where we will do canoeing, rock climbing, snow tubing, etc.....
I love having open meadows at the end of our cul-de-sac where I can let the dog off the lead to run. People are friendly and always say good morning/afternoon and often stop for more of a chat.

We would love to buy a house again one day, but we're not too concerned right now. We have no maintenance or upkeep worries and most of our friends rent too so not really stressed about it right now.

Oh, to add a downside, if I must, it's the traffic! yes it is busy and it is crap but we all know this!
I still really love driving my little nippy manual car around and getting out into the countryside. We have driven a lot since returning, up to Scotland and down to Devon and it has been relatively ok if you travel outside of rush times.

How do I feel about Canada now? I can look back and appreciate the Country for accepting us and giving us a great chance. I miss the lovely friends I made but I do keep in touch through Skype. I shouldn't say I regret moving there as you shouldn't look back with regret, but, the family went through a lot of pain, stress lost friendships and financial loss in doing so, but we didn't have a crystal ball. If I had the chance to go again, I wouldn't do it.

So....I must confess I am suffering from itchy feet as travel is in my blood....BUT....I will never emigrate again. When my youngest finishes school in a few years, I will travel with my hubby when he has contracts for 6 months to a year abroad, but we will always keep a base here and always return home to England.

Good luck to all those returning home and if I can give any advice, I will try

Sorry it turned out to be a long post

MrMuffin

Thanks for the lovely and well balanced review of your return home to the UK. Those of us on the verge of getting back certainly appreciate hearing the good and the bad. Thanks for taking the time and most of all congrats for making it back. Good luck to you and your family!! Cheers, M

Mummy in the foothills

Excellent update. Sounds like most is going well and everywhere has the downsides.
Traffic is my main dislike too. I don't like competing for space amongst HGV's on the expressway and am applying for jobs closer to home so I don't have too.
I'm so glad your friends have welcomed you back and are keeping in touch, I have a few old ones who I am in contact with occasionally. I'm always open to new ones.

lgabriel73

Lovely update, glad things are going well for you. You are so right in the fact that you have to really want it to make it work. If its just about escaping a place or distant childhood memories then you are in for a difficult time.

Lorry1

Aww thank you. I tried to balance it as much as possible because really, I don't have much to complain about, I really am very happy back here.

MrM, good luck with your return. Where are you hoping to move back to, and when?

MITF, good luck with your job hunt, I hope you find something closer to home. I love meeting new people also but I have to say I love the friends I've had forever and it's hard to get that closeness with anyone else.

lgabriel, yep childhood memories are great and its good to dream but the reality is always a lot tougher!

quoll

Excellent update! I'm so glad that things have fallen into place for you!

Brigette

Thanks for the update. Made me smile throughout I think the traffic will prolly bother me as I am used to wide open spaces on the road and for parking. I guess I will adjust. I'm most excited about the proximity to Europe! That should be loads of fun. Thanks for the update and best wishes with the family

Sally Redux

Thanks for a great post. Good to see you!

Junebug72

Wow what a lovely update, keep coming on and telling us things, we have been back since february from U.K. We stayed four months looking back on it we did not give it long enough , my daughter hated coming back to Florida as she has made some nice friends in England so a lot of anger from her which I understand as she was happy now also a lot of guilt living with knowing we made the wrong choice of coming back and wasted money so we will go back but just wish it was a bit nearer as a hell of a lot of moving and as well as hard on our family and our little dog , it also didn't help going back in winter time where it rained everyday apart from four days lol but at least we are now prepared and will go back with a more simple outlook

Twigstar

Oh my Junebug72 you have gone through the mill.
We did similar thing back in the 80's.
We went to Florida, returned to the UK after 3 years then regretted not sticking it out a little longer.
Then went back to Florida in 2003 with an 11 year old only to return to UK in 2008. Back to Texas in 2009 and still here.
We have our sights on 3 more years then back to UK for good. Our daughter now 22 will stay here as she is now settled in University and would not be happy living in UK.

To the OP, lovely update...

Lorry1

Thanks all,

I do have to say that I think the fab weather has helped a lot in settling too. We arrived back last year in a heat wave which continued through the summer, winter was crap but lets not mention that! well, actually, to be fair, it did rain A LOT although we were lucky to not be flooded, but it was very mild compared to what I had the previous 6 years! spring and summer this year, so far have been amazing!
Spring was always awful in Canada as it often snowed until March/April and then the ground had to thaw before we even started seeing flowers, around May usually. Here we had an early spring and it was lovely to see colour it really perks you up

Anyway, must dash and get daughter up for school

Again, please ask if you have any questions and I will try to help.

MrMuffin

We're moving down to the West Country in Cornwall to be close to my Mum and Sister. We're lining everything up to arrive April/May 2015. Only one more silly winter here to face with consistent snow like yours used to be, between November and April. We've already started organizing and clearing out stuff and we're hoping to put the house on the market in September and then if it sells fast we have a short term rental lined up. Yippee!

Good luck to you too!!

cityboys1911

hi MrMuffin
We are doing the same as you we have been in Florida since 2002 and have now decided to move back to the UK in Aug/Sept 2015 to be nearer family we are making plans with our bank our pension/Social security to see if we can get them paid into a UK bank account then looking at ways to sell most of our furniture as we know it will not all fit into a English size house hope to keep in touch with you to see how things go.

Junebug72

just reading peoples posts just shows were all quite alike want the best of both worlds lol but in the end where is Home ? I would love to go to Texas always fancied to see what a steak is like and the houses look lovely, Twigstar what is it like ?

Lorry1

MrM,

I totally get you about the harsh winters, I couldn't have done another one!

Good luck with your move home. The next few months will fly by and you will suddenly realise you are in your final days with so much to do!