celine_uk

So I haven’t posted on this site for a while really.. here goes

I first visited Canada in 2002 aged 19 for a holiday and I met a guy and then decided a year later id go on a long vacation for a few months, anyway that holiday turned into 12 years.

Anyway fast forward to 2 years ago my marriage ended and then 6 months later so did my job of 9 years that I loved.
Well Canada all of a sudden became a void for me, I didn’t feel like I belonged there anymore, don’t get me wrong I have changed A LOT and I mean a lot, living in Toronto opened my eyes up to difference.. and I think I became a better man for it…. So I decided to give Canada another 2 years to see if anything changed, It didn’t.

So in November I sold everything I had and in December I moved back in with my Dad in Essex.

December was a complete write off; It felt like it was a Christmas for an entire month, the feeling of being with my 3 year old nephew was amazing, I was also at the birth of my 2nd nephew.

January I bought a car and found it really difficult, I hit the curb like every day lol but I now have the hang of it and the only thing I dislike about driving in the UK is parking lol

In Canada in worked in Financial Services and I have been applying for jobs all over London, I've hardly had any replies, the recruiters I have worked with informed me that the reason im not getting much of a response is because of my lack of UK Experience, He also suggested that I should take a step down with a huge pay cut, well we all know London is expensive so that isn't an option.

Now I don’t know, I feel like i'm questioning the reasons why I left Canada in the first place, was I running away from my problems and the change I had to endure there to my life?.. right now I feel like getting on a plane and going back to Toronto and taking my old job back….. im sure many other expats have felt this, reverse culture shock.. I went from living on my own in one of the best areas of Toronto and working , to moving in with my dad and having no job in a country that has changed alot …

Not even sure why im telling you guys this but I am just so confused about where I belong and if my move was a good idea :u nsure:

dunroving

It's perfectly natural to start wondering about things if your move back isn't going smoothly. Sometimes it comes down to figuring out whether you want to be where the jobs are or where the people are. The decision isn't simple to make but often it comes down to something as simple as that.

I came back in 2000 (left the UK in 1983) was miserable and went back to the US. Returned to the UK in 2006 and again really struggled but this time stuck it out.

Now I know I wouldn't go back to the US (well, maybe short-term if there was a temporary contract to be had, just for a bit of fun) but it's taken a while to figure it out (what's 2015 minus 2006? )

celine_uk

Wow so you did jump around a little, I used to always think of myself as British but now with moving back to England I feel very Canadian... i have my family here but i don't think they really get why i'm not liking it so much, i think like you said do I accept a huge reduction in my living standards to be closer to my family or do i go back to Toronto and live the life that I know well... i have a close network of friends there that are very supportive, we'll see,thanks for your insights, it really helped...

dunroving

Compared to some, my relocations are trivial, though I was in the Bahamas before I moved to the US, so I guess that makes ... 5 country moves in total, counting the first move in 1983 (and 8 city/state moves ... and about 25 house moves!).

I think some people always feel British no matter where they go and for how long. Some people never lose a trace of their British accent. But others (including myself) will always feel a bit of a "Heinz 57".

I looked at getting back to the US on several occasions after I came back here in 2006, even interviewing for a few jobs. I was very disheartened when I came back in 2006 to be immediately disadvantaged financially, due to the cost of moving, the huge price differential in housing (not helped by watching prices rise inexorably while I rented for 10 months). I'd say just house-price wise, I took a loss of over £100,000.

Be careful of focussing on single facts like this, though, or losing sight of the long term picture. Moving country can be a very expensive practice, and moving again isn't usually the solution! Also, I am better off financially here than the US in terms of the pension scheme and much better tax treatment of savings (ISAs) and tax relief on pension contributions. If I had moved back to the US, I'm pretty sure I'd have had to work until at least 2024, whereas here I plan to retire in 2018 - and if I had wanted to come back here in retirement, my guess is I'd have ended up in a small flat.

In 2006-2007, none of this was apparent to me but overall I am glad I didn't just bounce back there.

Think about where you really want to be in 10, 20, or 30 years and take it from there.

AB4NOW

I totally understand.

I was that person who returned to Canada after 5 months, we spent a lot of money on our boomerang trip. However in a year we had a house built and 2 cars again etc etc.

Been back here for just over 2 years now and we are talking about maybe going back again if a job offer doesn't come through soon. For us personally we had a better life in the UK but wanted a slower pace of life, we did achieve that here in abundance. We have already talk to a contact in the UK and we could walk back into jobs because of our previous work history. This would have a financial impact on us, mortgage penalties etc but we would recover again.

Whilst sitting here in Calgary, I was thinking what do I have here that I would miss. Amazing friends and a few other things but nothing I can't get back in the UK. For me I could, work part time as professional, be nearer to f & f and continue to travel, which I do miss terribly. I never achieved my passion for work in Canada, yet I've always said I missed my UK work.

I'm not going to slag either country off as there is pros to cons to everything. I just think the UK will be more fulfilling for us and we can achieve our old lifestyle again.

Tr1boy

I will never understand the people that say 'the UK has changed a lot' like its some kind of surprise

I moved to Oz in the 80s, it's changed to an unrecognisable degree since then, and non of it for the better. We've been in the UK 5 yrs and when we return to Oz it will have changed again.

I don't get why there is this expectation that UK is somehow immune from a state of change?

Englishmum

True. We lived in Singapore from Jan 1995 - July 2000 and then returned in Sep 2008 and left again in June 2011.

In that 8 year absence the population of Singapore (which is only the size of the Isle of Wight) had increased by approx 1 million!

The infrastructure had changed immensely (and continues to do so). A couple of apartment complexes we have lived in had been demolished and new condominiums replaced them. The most recent apartment we moved to in 2008 - it was brand new and we were the first tenants to reside in our apartment - replaced another one, 'Dragon Court' (which I remember viewing back in 1995!) Many complexes tend to have a max life span of approx 30 years and are then demolished and replaced with another.

Next door to our complex, 'Montview Condominium' an older complex 'Himiko Court' had been demolished and the new 'Trizon' - a huge complex - was being constructed.

Montview Condominium Details in Tanglin / Holland - PropertyGuru Singapore (where we lived)


The Trizon Condominium Details in Tanglin / Holland - PropertyGuru Singapore (next door)


Everywhere we went in Singapore it seemed that we could hear drilling and pile driving.....

The Orchard Road shopping street had also had a number of shopping malls demolished and being replaced. All over the island we could see construction work taking place and cranes in the skyline....a number of casino complexes were now operating (previously they had been banned in Singapore). A new 'Circle Line' railway was being constructed too - this is ongoing.

I definitely noticed that the huge increase in the population meant that everywhere seemed more crowded and especially so on the days that I used public transport (now having to stand on the MRT trains and some buses became the norm). On the days that I decided to drive, the traffic jams were more numerous, even outside peak hours and journey times took longer.

The only thing which definitely hadn't changed was/is that the PAP (People's Action Party) was still in control of the govt. and this has been the case since 1965 when Singapore became a Republic....

AB4NOW

I agree and you have to learn to accept the changes. Triboy are you staying in the UK? (I remember you, we both had spine issues)

Tr1boy

I've always said we will return to Oz, mainly because I knew my wife was only here for me but she likes it here now. We have our daughter (15mths) to consider now and if anything, it's probably me that is more keen to return to Oz. Not because I particularly want to live there, but time is running out, as I'm 50 next month.

We have enough to buy a house mortgage free with a bit left over ( obviously depends where) but it's a big decision whether to sink that cash into the UK or Oz. I've suffered two long bouts of being out of work in the UK and our savings means we cannot claim anything. I guess that's jaundiced my feelings a bit, especially when there are quite a few ' what can I get' posts on here ( not their fault).

Part of me wants my daughter to experience living close to mainland Europe, part of me wants her to grow up the positive attitude that exists in Oz. We are positive people, but it's like swimming upstream being like that in the UK sometimes. Part of me says she should be around, or at least have easy access to the Korean community and part of me says it doesn't matter.

Mrs TB says as long as we are happy and secure, our daughter will be, which of course is true. I think I struggle with working out where to live in the UK, we never wanted London and will return to Sydney before working or living there. But the alternatives are to chase jobs and hope there is a good hub, community and future for us all in whatever that is.

I've just landed an interim role with a European focus for a global company in Dorset, I'll see how that goes before moving anywhere.

I think we are suffering analysis paralysis at the moment.

Forgot to add, spine is as good as it can be now thanks, 4 operations, 6 springs and 2 Kevlar cables later, I'm doing ok. Racing Ironman Wales in Sept, so that'll test it!

Mummy in the foothills

Well done Tr1boy. Good to hear your back is doing well enough for the Ironman race.
I thought you'd already gone back to OZ.

AB4NOW

You will do what is right in the end.

Glad your spine has improve and your life has no limitations now