And after the euphoria . . .

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Nov 24th 2010, 3:35 am

#16

dontheturner

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Re: And after the euphoria . . .

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustBecause

Have you tried the netmums website? This is sanity-saver (not that there's much left to save!). The child also benefits by having a bit of time being independent. Hope something works out.

I am just a mere male of 80, but the thought occurs, that the local Women's Institute might be able to advise, also, the local church often has many groups.

Try googling W.I., and go from there. best of Luck. Where are you, in the UK exactly?. Don

Nov 24th 2010, 1:56 pm

#17

iaink

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Re: And after the euphoria . . .

Hang in there, all the rules about culture shock and homesickness will apply going back to the UK after years away, just as they do going the other way.

Give it time, and make an effort to get out and socialise.

Nov 25th 2010, 12:53 pm

#18

windsong

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Re: And after the euphoria . . .

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bevm

It is a shame about Craigslist. If they'd create more local lists people would use it more and it might take off, but I think the one for here is Devon and Cornwall. That's hardly local!

It was bought by Google, wasn't it? I don't think they do anything to support it.

Bev

Ebay owns Craigslist, at least in the USA

Nov 25th 2010, 1:28 pm

#19

iaink

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Re: And after the euphoria . . .

Quote:

Originally Posted by windsong

Ebay owns Craigslist, at least in the USA

They also own Kijiji, in fact in the US I think its branded as ebay classifieds or something

Is kijiji a thing in the UK?

Nov 25th 2010, 9:50 pm

#20

mbike

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Re: And after the euphoria . . .

My wife has been going through a little of what you are describing. When we talked about it, she identified the stress was coming from a break in routine, something all children need and thrive on. She had a certain pace of family life in Aus, a specific ebb and flow, which she and the kids lost for a bit when we first came back to the UK. This led to her feeling she was constantly firefighting on everything from getting ready for school to mealtimes and bedtime routine. The fact that I am away for the bulk of the day in London also put more responsibility on her. It passed after a while and she is now thriving on the slightly more hectic pace of life here (even in the country).

As an aside, I notice you live in Stroud. If you have time on Saturday, try and get out to the Wynstones School Advent/Christmas fair in Whaddon. It's a Waldorf thing and there is a lovely sense of community on the day. Might just help lift your spirits a bit.

Good luck

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erica

Hi all, just wanted to update you, we have been back for 3 months, from Northern California near San Francisco, to Gloucestershire. I posted a few weeks ago when I was feeling very excited and happy to be back. Now, almost predictably, I am feeling really low and displaced and kind of rootless. I knew this would come but is doesn't feel good! I am seeing my Mum alot which is fantastic and the countryside is spectacular, cold and frosty at the moment, it is getting dark really early now. I am finding it hard to meet people I really like and connect with and am really missing my close girl-friends back in CA and missing the kids having friends I could drop them off with easily. It is all taking time, I just need to hang on to my sanity and get alot of sleep! Also, we have had builders here for the last 7 weeks so I can't really move in properly, there is dust, noise and debris, alot of expense and blokes around the kitchen table drinking tea alot! My husband has been away, back in the USA, for 10 days so I have been flying solo which is really hard with three kids and a two year old with me all the time and I can't seem to find a daycare around here. Where is Craigslist!? My husband is finding it hard to make friends because he works on his own and is American so I feel guilty about bringing everyone here and me feeling crappy. The news of all the cuts is depressing as well, our local library is going to close. All of it will take time, I know. Any advice, anyone who has been through this and come out the other side? Thanks for listening!

Nov 25th 2010, 10:19 pm

#21

J.J

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Re: And after the euphoria . . .

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erica

My husband is finding it hard to make friends because he works on his own and is American so I feel guilty about bringing everyone here and me feeling crappy.

My husband too works alone, from home, he see's few other than me and the cat. To break the routine of bed - work - eat - work- bed, he has started a habit of taking off on Weds afternoon and going into town by himself, just to walk around sight see, have a beer and a casual chat in a pub. On other days he tries to take a lunchtime walk, just to get out a bit. It doesn't make friends but it gets him away from his desk.

Nov 26th 2010, 3:21 am

#22

Victor Meldrew

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Re: And after the euphoria . . .

Quote:

Originally Posted by J.J

I like that idea, it makes a lot of sense, particularly the idea of getting ooutdoors and in the fresh air.

I work in a school overseas, where for the first 2 years we used to live in 1 of only 4 houses on the school site. After a year it got really weird, I used to some times calculate that there had been literally a couple of weeks when I hadnt even gone off site.

We now live in an apartment in the centre of the city, 15 minutes from work - much better!

Nov 28th 2010, 1:41 am

#23

kins

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Re: And after the euphoria . . .

Have you looked into childminders rather than nurseries/daycares?

Try this site:
http://childcarefinder.direct.gov.uk/childcarefinder/

Also have you looked at local gyms? Often they have a creche where you can drop your little one off for a couple of hours while you work out/swim/relax (I found a gym with creche and cafe - perfect!).

And keep trying all the local nurseries - you may well find there is one that has availability even if the others are full.

Great that you're going to mums and tots groups. You could also see if there is a local NCT branch - good way to meet other parents. You could also join your local PTA and meet other parents that way.

It sounds like you are doing great, and you just need to hang in there through the difficult bits

Apr 6th 2011, 11:21 am

#24

thisandthat

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Re: And after the euphoria . . .

Hi Erica
You might just be writing my future! I'm a Brit with American Husband and 3 kids (6, 8 and 10), and we're moving to Gloucestershire next Month! I appreciate how candid you are about the realities. Husband also works largely from home - though his work will get him out some.
I'm certainly going to get on the websites people have mentioned on this thread. When the initial euphoria has worn off, I'm going to have to do everything I can to get to know people. IMO it's not selfish to be worrying about your own friendships on this one. I need my girlfriends not just as a break from the everyday, but they are the best resources for all things 'kid' and family related. It's good for the whole family for Mum to have a support group around! I guess for both of us, it will be a matter of time. Good Luck

Last edited by thisandthat; Apr 6th 2011 at 11:22 am. Reason: spelling