sallysimmons

Hi everyone. I've had a few emails asking me if everything is OK because I've been so quiet (unusual for me!) so I thought I'd post an update in case it's useful to anyone.

For those who don't know me, my husband and I moved back in April 2012 and I can honestly say things have worked out better than we ever thought they would.

To anyone who is moving back, I say rent for at least a year. Don't buy a house right away unless you're positive you know where you want to be. We're so glad we did that because we've ended up buying in an area we didn't even know existed. I'm from Yorkshire and lived here my whole life until leaving and I'd never been to this particular valley. We're just south of the Yorkshire Dales, which means we have all their scenery but none of their tourists. Very few people even know that our sleepy little village exists and the only traffic that comes through is local traffic.

I've taken to walking every morning and evening, and I never go for a walk without waving to at least one person as they drive by (often more). It's a lovely feeling to know the people who live near me.

Our house is in a converted farm complex - there is the farmhouse and then 4 barns. This means we have close neighbors and I worried about that at first, but it's been brilliant. Last week I looked after one neighbor's cats when he and his wife went away and they have now offered to do the same for us - a real relief.

This neighbor is also a builder and handyman who can literally turn his hand to anything, so he's helped us get the house just how we want it. Once I've saved my pennies, he'll be starting work on the garden (pond, rock garden ... I have all kinds of ideas but not yet the bank balance to see them all through!)

At first I found it a little difficult to rekindle my oldest friendship, but I kept at it and we are now getting back to the way we used to be. It's a good idea not to go into seeing old friends with tons of expectations. You will have to put in the work because they have built lives that don't include you.

Other friendships were easier to resume and we now find ourselves super-busy all the time with dinners, plays, concerts, pub nights out etc. etc. We see a lot of our families and that's been great too. Last week I drove up to the Lakes and took my mum out for lunch for her birthday. On the way up, I was counting my blessings - the scenery all the way is wonderful, it was a gorgeous sunny day, and I was getting to treat my mum on her birthday. Life doesn't get much better than that.

I feel as others have said - that I started living again the minute we got home. It is as though I had been asleep for a really long time - emotionally, physically, everything really. I now walk 4 or 5 miles every day in some of the most breathtaking countryside you can imagine and I'm slowly losing the weight I gained in America (despite having eaten my fair share of custard tarts and fish and chips!).

I have always been an amateur artist but I lost that while in America. Now I'm back and busy with lots of work. Another thing that has come back since we arrived home.

If anyone is interested in where I am, you can see my photos on Instagram at http://instagram.com/louisef3. I've been very lax with my blog because I'm so busy, but I do keep Instagram up.

All in all, the only thing I miss about America is my waste disposal unit. Can't get one here as we're on a septic tank. Other than that, I miss nothing. Sad to say after 20+ years, but totally true.

I am happier than I could ever say that we made this decision. Now I am going out for my morning walk - up to the moor to listen to the curlews and think about the coming day. Bliss!

If I can answer any questions, do let me know. I'm happy to help if I can.

Olza23

Hi Sally

I hope all is well, seems to be reading that!

I'm basically planning/hoping to do the opposite to you, emigrate away from the UK for my own reasons but I just wanted to know during the time you were in the states did you ever think you would come back?

I've been reading a few threads about people coming back to the UK because of the sometimes emotional pull it has on them, it almost worries me because I do love my country and it will always be a part of me. Do you feel the same way? I mean I can only imagine you were homesick at times but were you ever totally comfortable over there? Did it ever feel like home?

I'm really happy for you that you've found happiness over here again and I think im my situation I am just going to have to see how me and my family feel when we emigrate! It's hard to predict if we will get homesick at all but definately something I should think about! I'm rambling, I'll stop now.

sallysimmons

Hi Olza, I'm happy to answer although I don't think it's much help as everyone is different.

I'm very much a 'forge ahead' kind of person. I don't dwell on things and I don't look back. So once we got to the US, I made the best of it and didn't really think about home. I think I probably imagined I'd stay there forever. I had panic attacks for a while and I gained a lot of weight, so perhaps that was me suppressing my unhappiness, but outwardly I was happy enough.

But the longer you're in America, the more you realize you don't fit in (or at least that's what happened to me). I got to know the culture better and just couldn't understand so many things about it - nor did I want to try. America is a very religious, puritanical place. It has no media to speak of, just a bunch of corporate owned shills. There are too many guns and very few people seem to think that's a problem. I could go on and on, but the upshot is that we had very few friends there because we just didn't fit.

As the years went by, I began to realize how much we were missing by being away from home. It was a gradual dawning rather than a major epiphany.

If I had it to do again, I'm not sure I'd go. I've missed a lot. (Just one example, my dad died 6 years after we left. If I'd known those were going to be his last 6 years, wild horses wouldn't have dragged me away). But the years I spent there have certainly given me a sweet appreciation for the beauty of England and for that I'm truly grateful. I suspect I wouldn't appreciate our lovely country as much if I'd spent my whole life here.

NiHao

sallysimmons,

Thank you so much for the update, I so love hearing how things are going for people after they have returned, its so helpful for those of us looking to move.

The photos are wonderful, its hard to express exactly what I feel when looking at them I think maybe "transported"

quoll

Good to hear things are still going well SS! I relate to so much in your post especially the losing the depression (or apathy!) weight by walking in our ever changing gobsmackingly beautiful countryside!!! Ain't life grand when you get it back!!!

Pombat

Thank you for that post Sally. It is exactly one year today since we returned on the QM2, and I feel very much the same as you in terms of being home and content. During the last year year we have moved back into our old house which was rented out all the time we were away (13 years!). We have been living in a building site for the last 5 months and are just about to finish adding a large extension - our family grew while we were away and we need more space. I have completed a course to refresh and update my professional qualifications and have managed to get a part time job which I am enjoying. Our children settled well at school and have made new friends. My OH is enjoying his job. It feels as if we belong, and we fit right in. I can't quite believe how much has happened in just one year.

I know that everyone has different reasons for moving away in the first place, and different reasons for either staying away or coming home. Wanting to be close to family was a big part of our decision to return, and I am so happy to be back living near extended family. My OH's mother died while we were abroad and I think that was quite a wakeup call for us.This summer our children have been able to hang out with their cousins or just drop in to visit their other grandparents, and for us, that is priceless. We have also been exploring the countryside and enjoying the food!

Yes, things changed in the UK while we were abroad, and yes, some of our friends moved away or we simply haven't reconnected in the same way. But we have also changed, and it would be unrealistic to expect to pick up exactly where we left off with everyone. I am glad that we had the opportunity to live abroad and we gained a lot in terms of life experiences and new friendships and so on. We were never desperately unhappy while we were away, but there was always a feeling of not being in the right place. I do wish that we had not been away for so long. But I can honestly say now that it feels great to be home, and it does truly seem that we are back where we belong.

Lestergirl

Lovely update Sally.. photos are gorgeous too. I know exactly what you mean about the friendship thing, but now I also have my old friend back in my life on a regular basis.

MissBetty

Fab update as always Sally, I really love reading your posts they always bring a smile to my face! So happy everything has fallen into place for you, just goes to show what a bit of forward planning, determination and a positive attitude can achieve

I must admit I still feel exactly the same as I did 10 weeks ago when I first set foot back in good old Blighty - happy, really happy for the first time in years!

I wake up to the sound of seagulls everyday, walk along the seafront into town and back and I really appreciate the time I spend with friends and family. I start back to work on Monday which I'm very happy about as it will be nice to have an income again

Thanks for taking the time to post your update and hope you get that garden sorted out soon!

TheEmperorIsNaked

How incongruous this thread (and many others!) is with another in this section. It seems to be almost a crime to actually be happy to be returning or happily living in the UK!

One either must be rolling in riches or be in the honeymoon/rose tints frame of mind.
How sad is this pernicious obsession to make any positive a hollow misconception.

...........very nice to hear these updates, it really is.

Sally Redux

Thanks for the great update, Sally, with a lot of good information.

lf1

Sally, thanks for your update. I agree with you regarding the scenery, it is just brilliant. Each time I drive from Kelso to our village I just marvel at the beautiful vista. I lived close to the Rockies, which were very majestic and beautiful in their own way, but I prefer the gentler scenery of Britain.

I have quoted this post because your comment about having a gradual dawning vs an epiphany really spoke to me. When I look back over the years, there were many signs along the way that I was living on the wrong continent, but I just never picked up on them until I took a long lard look at what was important to me.

On a completely different topic, I know you are a Peter Robinson fan and that reminded me of a lovely evening out I had. There is a great bookshop in St Boswells and they recently had an evening where food, wine/beer and entertainment were provided. The entertainment was " The Bookshop Band", I wasn't sure what to expect, but they were delightful. If you like books and even if you don't I would recommend them. They write their own music and it is all themed around books.

I am so pleased that things are working out so well for you.

shelley748

So happy to read things are going well Sally!

sallysimmons

That sounds great! We just missed Peter Robinson last year. We went up to Richmond, which is where he lives for part of the year and we wandered into a local bookstore. They were just taking down a sign advertising an in-store appearance the day before. One day too late!!

I gather he has a new book out very soon. Haven't read anything about it, but will be picking it up.

Cumbrian Lass

Glad to hear your enjoying being back in the UK as much as we are Sally
We were in Manchester at the weekend for a little outting. We went to see the footie ( Man United V Serville ),Grease the musical ,we went to a festival,museum and the boys went sking to the chill factor. All this in a weekend!!!!! PHEW........it would be impossible to do any where close to this in Alberta. We were so bored with life there,and like you we miss nothing apart from our dream house. We have been back exactly 2yrs and have never looked back.We are surrounded with beautiful views and lakes and life couldnt get any better.

lf1

Cumbrian Lass, I meant to say that we were in your neck of the woods in early July. We went down to S Wales to visit family. On the return trip we decided to break the 8 hour journey and stayed overnight in Kendal. Spent the next day driving around the Lake District, so a return trip is definitely on the cards. You are in a lovely area. I am pleased that you are enjoying being home and like you I don't miss Alberta either.