J.J

Hello Folks,
It is just over 1 year since we moved back to UK, and I feel things are sufficiently stable now to report the result. The result being we are comfortably re-established in UK.

Acclimatising back in the UK was more of an emotional challenge than we imagined it would be and far harder than the logistics of the actual move and certainly emotionally tougher than the original move to the USA.

We moved out of UK not to escape but for the adventure of a life elsewhere, an opportunity offered by my husband’s employer.
The move was never intended to be permanent although we enjoyed USA enough to stay on 16 more years past the original 2 year transfer and through change of employers. I feel this move to USA breathed new energy into our lives, which were becoming rather predictable back in UK.
John favoured life in the USA over the UK forming a poor opinion of UK from the negatives we saw on our visits back. He achieved career advancements in USA that would not have been possible in UK without relocating.
I enjoyed living in USA but never really settled and felt I never would, not really fitting in although I was friends with a lot of nice people, yet I was uneasy with the need to have a lot of money to have a secure retirement.
We both received higher salaries in USA and had more disposable income than if we had stayed in UK. Fortunately neither of us was seriously ill. Neither of us received employer’s pensions.


So on the verge of retirement we decidied to move back home, to UK, at a time when my job had ended and John was being required to relocate in USA.

On return we experienced the initial pleasures of being back but then we went through emotional ups and downs of things not being as they were when we left, we were outsiders when we had expected to easily integrate. We were disappointed with the decline of standards, diminishing of politeness in public, poor workmanship from tradesmen we used, low quality of clothes in shops.
We were disoriented with society, encountering personal values different to our way of life. We were in culture shock for about 12 months because ‘life’ was somehow of less quality than what we had lived for 18 years and not the same as it was when we left. We were dismayed with life in UK. We had expected that things would be different, and knew we have changed too, but reality was more disappointing than expected.
However, we did not consider moving back to USA. We are moving on and that meant finding our way here in UK.

Cost of living for us, older married with no kids and a house without mortgage, in West Norfolk, UK is about equal to Raleigh North Carolina, USA, if you take out the US medical costs factor.

I am enjoying retirement and wonder how I had time to work. I have enjoyed establishing a flower garden and renewing old friendshps. Family are happy to see us back although we have never been close anyway. John is working having fell lucky with his US employers organization having an opportunity to work from home in UK for a division in Germany (yet another culture challenge).


We successfully navigated Tax Filing season.
As USC we calculated our US tax on TurboTax, mailing in the report because efile is not possible from abroad. The limited automatic extension for USC outside the US enabled us to pass the 330 days outside of US residence test.
The UK does not require that everyone with income file a tax report. We phoned the Tax Office and went through a serious of questions with them, they concluded that our circumstances allows us to not have to file a self-assessment.

We have pleasant neighbours, a NHS that has lived up to expectations, quite adequate public transport and countryside that we enjoy hiking in. There are concerts and shows and places and towns that we like to visit (and some that we won’t return to). We have come to terms with pharmacies that close for lunch, no drinking water fountains in public places, no paper towels in public toilets, rough and tumble of society on public transport, burgers and pizza of low quality (we stopped looking), towns apparently populated by eastern Europeans, country villages with high count of second homes and gourmet pubs (this on our local Norfolk coast) and of course the ever present crowded roads.


As others have said, definately UK is different to USA and we, us two, are different because of our experiences abroad. We have no regrets having lived in US, we enjoyed it.
Now, after a difficult emotional transition we have no regrets being back to UK. Yes we miss aspects of the USA but here is OK too.

Alan Sherman’s song of Camp Granada comes to mind, for us it has now stopped raining and we are happy enough here in Camp UK.

Are we here to stay, in West Norfolk or in UK? All options will be considered but we are certainly comfortably here for the foreseeable future.

A grateful Thank You to all here on British Expats and to the website itself, for your help and advice that prepared and supported us in our transition.
It is now rare that we visit the site so if you have questions then feel free to send a private message.

Mummy in the foothills

Lovely update, it's good to hear a realistic view. It's not all rainbows and sparkly unicorns. But it is what you make of it.

Derrygal

Great post - thanks for sharing all your experiences back home. All the best to you for your future!

charleygirl

JJ, thank you so much for the report! So happy you are doing okay, I remember your plans last year and it is hard to believe you have been back so long!
I am leaving here at the end of August getting scared now. But well all I can do is give it a go, if I dont I know I will always be sorry.
Take care and enjoy your new life!

ann m

Very good report - thanks for sharing.

What?? But ..... but .... but ....

Beedubya

Good one Pauline.

Fish n Chips 56

Hello J.J.

I've always enjoyed your posts and this one was no different, you hit on some good issues, its amazing how some of the things that we take for granted in America arent in the UK, like the vast amount of toilets in stores and the water Fountains...

Its funny how some things in the UK have changed for the worst too, but that's true of many places, nowhere stays the same although on our minds it should, I must admit I do see some changes that I don't like, still that's life...

Even though we try to be reasonable we all wear rose colored glasses and have somewhat high expectations, I truly believe it will work out if we stick to our guns, and are willing to be flexible, we all need to firmly remember the reason for the move, its so easy to get sidetracked and only remember the good things we left behind, that's goes in both directions...

Your mention of some shops closing between 12-1 made me wonder, do they still have half day closing in the UK?.

I'm so happy you are doing well and I hope things continue in that direction.

Take Care and enjoy wonderful Norfolk... Fish...

chris955

I'm not aware of any shops that close at lunchtime anymore let alone half day. I remember when we first came to Queensland shops didn't open on Sunday for religious reasons, now they never seem to close

northernbird

I know one in rural lancashire. The post office in my home village which is run by an elderly husband and wife shuts every lunch and half day on Thursdays.

Fish n Chips 56

Thank you, sounds good to me.

J.J

Hi Fish, good to hear from you.

Half day closing has pretty much disappeared, maybe some family traditional shops in some rural towns but generally not. I notice that the traditional market days and half-day closing sees proportionate people in town, even though the market is diminished and the afternoon closing gone, old habits of shoppers still stay true.

Shops open on Sundays, 10 til 4 in Kings Lynn, longer for the more remote Tesco Express in villages.

But despite general all-day opening, some pubs do still close in afternoon and only offer food at the recognised meal times, so we have been caught out a time or two when out and about in Norfolk and wider. Just another rope to learn in being back.

One can't come back and let down your guard though, there are just as many scams and traps and persons of ill-repute throughout society here as anywhere else in the world.

I am sure things will smooth out for us, up and downs are less extreme now. When I win the lottery I will stay in UK, with maybe a house or two in USA and elsewhere

Here's a puzzle though, eggs cook differently over here, poached, boiled, fried, they don't cook the same and timing is different to the US.

..June & John

brummie61

daunting to make the move back after 20 years out the UK, not even sure where to start!

charleygirl

JJ I think the egg thing has something to do with the temp the water gets up to here or the cooking oil, I know that when I make a cup of tea it never seems as hot as a boiled kettle in the UK, I mean boiling point is boiling point i guess but def. does not seem as hot. My family from UK also voiced that.

charleygirl

brummie, want to share your story with us, what are planning?
I guess you are from Birmingham, I am a midlands girl myself, from Leicester.
Good luck with your plans and there are lots of us here to help.

Fish n Chips 56

Thanks for all the shopping and pub info, I can remember when the Co-op shut on Sundays, they would put all their meat on sale around 4 on Saturday afternoon, you could get some good deals, and they were closed at 6pm... those were the days...

Scams oh yes, they are everywhere, I saw a UK watch dog type show on you tube, New Roofs at 4 times the fair price and there was only a few tiles missing to start with, loose TV connections leading to a new ariel and TV, some people have no class and dont know how to make an honest living... its pretty scary for some of the old folks...

If I won the lottery Id have a lovely place in the UK, Not too big, and bungalows close by so my sisters and family could visit all year long if they so wished, Id also have a few Condos in the USA, again close to my sisters...

If I won stupid money Id like to help everyone that's been a friend and helped my family over the years, Id love to treat people to cars and homes, Id also make it where my sisters didn't have to work if they so wished... Id self insure my sisters and families so they wouldn't need to be tied to a job just for medical benefits...

Why hang on to multi millions when you can make life nice for so many people, It would give me a great deal of pleasure to help people that have been good to me...

Id also have a boat on the Broads, thats been a dream for many years...