Will this make leaving harder?
#1
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Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,424
Will this make leaving harder?
Ok so my mum and her hubby are going to come to the airport the day we leave to say goodbye, although it's a good 4 hour journey i'd say fromt where they live now and they will only spend about an hour and a half with us before we have to check our luggage in.
I can't decide wether I feel this will be nice or make it harder to get on that plane..... having 3 kids we aren't going to be visiting the UK very often and the responsibility will be on them to visit if they want to see us.
What do you think, did family wave you off at the airport? or did you ask them not to? or did they not want to ?
How did it make you feel?
Jen
I can't decide wether I feel this will be nice or make it harder to get on that plane..... having 3 kids we aren't going to be visiting the UK very often and the responsibility will be on them to visit if they want to see us.
What do you think, did family wave you off at the airport? or did you ask them not to? or did they not want to ?
How did it make you feel?
Jen
#2
BE Forum Addict
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,612
Re: Will this make leaving harder?
Ok so my mum and her hubby are going to come to the airport the day we leave to say goodbye, although it's a good 4 hour journey i'd say fromt where they live now and they will only spend about an hour and a half with us before we have to check our luggage in.
I can't decide wether I feel this will be nice or make it harder to get on that plane..... having 3 kids we aren't going to be visiting the UK very often and the responsibility will be on them to visit if they want to see us.
What do you think, did family wave you off at the airport? or did you ask them not to? or did they not want to ?
How did it make you feel?
Jen
I can't decide wether I feel this will be nice or make it harder to get on that plane..... having 3 kids we aren't going to be visiting the UK very often and the responsibility will be on them to visit if they want to see us.
What do you think, did family wave you off at the airport? or did you ask them not to? or did they not want to ?
How did it make you feel?
Jen
I've heard that it can be more upsetting if family wave/see you off at the airport. It's something i've already decided we dont want to do as i know i'd spend the whole journey in tears...
i think it's a personal thing though...only you can decide whether you'd regret not doing it or not...
#3
Re: Will this make leaving harder?
Ok so my mum and her hubby are going to come to the airport the day we leave to say goodbye, although it's a good 4 hour journey i'd say fromt where they live now and they will only spend about an hour and a half with us before we have to check our luggage in.
I can't decide wether I feel this will be nice or make it harder to get on that plane..... having 3 kids we aren't going to be visiting the UK very often and the responsibility will be on them to visit if they want to see us.
What do you think, did family wave you off at the airport? or did you ask them not to? or did they not want to ?
How did it make you feel?
Jen
I can't decide wether I feel this will be nice or make it harder to get on that plane..... having 3 kids we aren't going to be visiting the UK very often and the responsibility will be on them to visit if they want to see us.
What do you think, did family wave you off at the airport? or did you ask them not to? or did they not want to ?
How did it make you feel?
Jen
#4
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Thread Starter
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 2,424
Re: Will this make leaving harder?
we wouldn't let any one come, we thought it would be hard enough with all the luggage and last minute panics without crying relatives making it worse and piling guilt on top of all the other feelings.It just depends on how you think you will feel. We knew we did the right thing for us but that doesn't mean that it would be for you. sorry, that doesn't sound much help when I read it back.
I have a good relationship with them, I know i'd struggle to not breakdown if it was dad but I really don't know how I feel at the moment.
#5
Re: Will this make leaving harder?
I am glad some one brought this thread up as i am undecided too. My 17 year old son isn't coming to Australia with us, he will be living with my parents, and although i feel it is important to say goodbye to him at the airport before i go, i also feel that it may be worse as i know i will break down in tears and feel guilty about going
mixed feelings about this
Starlite
mixed feelings about this
Starlite
#6
Re: Will this make leaving harder?
I am also struggling with this one...can't even bare to think about saying goodbye to my mum it brings me lose to tears..& i am an adult with 2 kids not some wee girly on her first adventure....We will also have to rehome our cat & find a foster home for our golden retriever for a few months....& I keep putting my head in the sand...gonna have to make the decisions soon but don't want to face it
even been wondering why I'm going...even though I've been dreaming of it for years
Jacq
even been wondering why I'm going...even though I've been dreaming of it for years
Jacq
#7
Re: Will this make leaving harder?
I think sobbing goodbyes at the airport are not the kind of memories you want to give your children, If you and the relatives are gonna cry then give yourself some time before the flight for the kids to calm down, a distraught child on a long aeroplane journey is not a good start to your new life IMHO
#8
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,474
Re: Will this make leaving harder?
definately wouldnt ... and we didnt. Trust me, its hard enough with your kids and the luggage and the emotions just getting through the airport scenario without public goodbyes in a rushed stressed atmosphere like the terminal.
Its so much easier and better for everyone to do the goobyes at home, take as long as you need over it, settle down for the trip to the airport and destress as much as you can on the drive there. Then you can concentrate on getting through the process and be excited instead of wailing with tears through the security gates.
Its a lovely gesture from your parents - but trust me on this, its not the best thing to do.
Its so much easier and better for everyone to do the goobyes at home, take as long as you need over it, settle down for the trip to the airport and destress as much as you can on the drive there. Then you can concentrate on getting through the process and be excited instead of wailing with tears through the security gates.
Its a lovely gesture from your parents - but trust me on this, its not the best thing to do.
#9
Re: Will this make leaving harder?
I think sobbing goodbyes at the airport are not the kind of memories you want to give your children, If you and the relatives are gonna cry then give yourself some time before the flight for the kids to calm down, a distraught child on a long aeroplane journey is not a good start to your new life IMHO
In short....there was no way we were allowing anyone at the airport!
#10
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Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Gold Coast
Posts: 659
Re: Will this make leaving harder?
Hi, would agree with whats been said. We had decided not to have anyone at the airport as we have 2 wee ones, too young to understand. We didn't want to have loads of crying n emotions at the airport. Took close family out for a meal the night before and said our goodbyes then. Also made up 'goodie' bags for them all with personal stuff, photos n all our copies of the Australia and New Zealand mag!!
Really glad we did it this way! Meant we headed home a bit emotional, but woke up the next morning to start out new life afresh!
Godd luck with whatever anyone decides!
Mandy
Really glad we did it this way! Meant we headed home a bit emotional, but woke up the next morning to start out new life afresh!
Godd luck with whatever anyone decides!
Mandy
#11
Re: Will this make leaving harder?
Ok so my mum and her hubby are going to come to the airport the day we leave to say goodbye, although it's a good 4 hour journey i'd say fromt where they live now and they will only spend about an hour and a half with us before we have to check our luggage in.
I can't decide wether I feel this will be nice or make it harder to get on that plane..... having 3 kids we aren't going to be visiting the UK very often and the responsibility will be on them to visit if they want to see us.
What do you think, did family wave you off at the airport? or did you ask them not to? or did they not want to ?
How did it make you feel?
Jen
I can't decide wether I feel this will be nice or make it harder to get on that plane..... having 3 kids we aren't going to be visiting the UK very often and the responsibility will be on them to visit if they want to see us.
What do you think, did family wave you off at the airport? or did you ask them not to? or did they not want to ?
How did it make you feel?
Jen
All my family came and it was such a hard thing to do but it's what they wanted. I couldn't really say no you can't come. I'm glad I did it (2 years on).
Cheers
Ginny
#12
Re: Will this make leaving harder?
Look this really is an individual thing, we had decided not to go for the goodbye at the airport thing. However, hubbies mum decided that nothing was going to stop her (she made this quite clear to me) so I asked my family for support really. It was painful, emotional and there were many tears. Again as ginny said (over 3 years on) I'm glad. We were snagged for a complete luggage check by security when we checked in. So 10 cases and 5 cabin cases had to be searched in a room with us present. It took ages!!!!! So our good bye time was cut considerably.
We all got upset, but in hindsight I couldn't have put the kids (15,17 &21) through going round saying good bye to everyone - it would have been exhausting. So......... to do it in one hit did help.
Emotions and leaving is painful, maybe actually getting in touch like this does help some. Its not wrong to model to our children that goodbyes are emotional etc. and that you do get through it.
Just my thoughts, good luck what ever you decided is ok. Also a thought for your mum, it may be very important for her to 'see you off'????
Tracey x
We all got upset, but in hindsight I couldn't have put the kids (15,17 &21) through going round saying good bye to everyone - it would have been exhausting. So......... to do it in one hit did help.
Emotions and leaving is painful, maybe actually getting in touch like this does help some. Its not wrong to model to our children that goodbyes are emotional etc. and that you do get through it.
Just my thoughts, good luck what ever you decided is ok. Also a thought for your mum, it may be very important for her to 'see you off'????
Tracey x
#13
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Joined: Nov 2004
Location: parkdale, melbourne
Posts: 553
Re: Will this make leaving harder?
It's very personal decision, and we didn't.
The night before we flew we stayed at hubby's parents house and I remember his Mum almost collapsing into his dad's arms as the taxi we were in pulled away from the house at 5 in the morning. The kids didn't see that but if we had been at the airport they would have. We had a rather heated discussion the night before when she said we couldn't stop her coming and saying goodbye and they'd follow in a taxi. My F-I-L obviously talked her out of it during the night (and she had had a few gins!)
We were very insistent that nobody came with us and 5 years on I would do it the same way again.
When we got to the airport me and my then 7 year old daughter were queuing in the toilets when a lady turned to my daughter and said "Where are you going on holiday?" to which she replied "I'm not going on holiday, We're emigrating to Australia" 3 different sets of people turned round and said we are too and one lady said "I've just said goodbye to my dad" and she started crying which of course set us all off (but kind of discreetly sniffly crying) If my parents had been there I would have been a mess and I needed to be really really strong for my kids. So I suppose it depends if you think you can handle it really.
LJJ
The night before we flew we stayed at hubby's parents house and I remember his Mum almost collapsing into his dad's arms as the taxi we were in pulled away from the house at 5 in the morning. The kids didn't see that but if we had been at the airport they would have. We had a rather heated discussion the night before when she said we couldn't stop her coming and saying goodbye and they'd follow in a taxi. My F-I-L obviously talked her out of it during the night (and she had had a few gins!)
We were very insistent that nobody came with us and 5 years on I would do it the same way again.
When we got to the airport me and my then 7 year old daughter were queuing in the toilets when a lady turned to my daughter and said "Where are you going on holiday?" to which she replied "I'm not going on holiday, We're emigrating to Australia" 3 different sets of people turned round and said we are too and one lady said "I've just said goodbye to my dad" and she started crying which of course set us all off (but kind of discreetly sniffly crying) If my parents had been there I would have been a mess and I needed to be really really strong for my kids. So I suppose it depends if you think you can handle it really.
LJJ
#14
Australia's Doorman
Joined: Jan 2005
Location: The Shoalhaven, New South Wales, Australia
Posts: 11,056
Re: Will this make leaving harder?
Airports - particularly hellish ones like Heathrow are a nightmare at the best of times. So many people pushing through, noise, tacky over-priced cafes and pubs - how is that ever going to be a good place to say cheerio to your friends and family?
#15
Re: Will this make leaving harder?
Absolutely - if you can find a cafe in the barn that is terminal 4 (well there is one but not exactly salubrious!) Say goodbye in a nicer place unless you are sure they aren't going to be a quivering mess and are really just going because they want to see the planes take off.